AN:
Before the chapter starts I want to thank my dear reviewers Chocolatepie277, CreeperCraft197, Stars Above The Moon & TheAmazingQwerty!

Music tip:
Lana del Rey – Dark Paradise
youtube: watch?v=0SnSUbnx5Ys

Lovers of Freedom

Chapter 7:
Steps

Adam wanted to be angry at Mitch.
During their way to the parking lot and the first minutes back at his house he had succeeded, but as he went to his room to get another blanket for Mitch, everything he had left behind hit him at full strength.

Alesa.
Their break-up.
The betrayal.

The emotions he had carefully buried deep inside of himself came back to the surface, as he threw a glance at one of their pictures still occupying the nightstand. For a moment he forgot Mitch in the other room and sat down on the edge of the large bed he had once shared with her. Deep inside he knew that it had been the right decision, but above this knowledge was a thick layer of love, that just didn't want to disappear. Of course he could forget neither their feelings for each other, nor their wonderful memories.

But her betrayal had hurt too much.
It was like Dawn all over again.

Over time he would heal for sure. He needed some distance, a few days to collect his thoughts and to calm down. But now Mitch of all people had to stay with him. Not only that – his only chance to keep his current job and to continue his passion was a reunion of Team Crafted. It was his only chance. He had to pull through, even though the topic about Mitch…

The blanket. Right.
He almost forgot.

With a sigh he stood up again, grabbed the photo of Alesa and him, picked up a large blanket and went back. On the way to the living room he threw the picture in the bin without looking back once. She wasn't worth it, he tried to tell himself. But where to go with all the sadness? How could he get his usually cheerful behavior back again? Every single time it became harder and harder.

Mitch stood in the living room and was admiring the furnishing.
"Here you go," he said with a neutral tone in his voice and Adam was nearly as surprised about it as Mitch was. He quickly turned around and flinched, his eyes wide and a bit scared. If Adam wouldn't have been so sad, he would have ignored it due to his anger. Now he could scrutinize him a bit longer, a bit more precisely.
Adam hadn't seen his former friend in months, but nonetheless he saw the haunted look in his eyes, the mistrust and the fear. A second later it was gone and with a careful smile on his face he took the blanket. "Thank you. I don't want to be rude, but can I maybe-"
Mitch slowly looked at the furnace and for a short moment Adam felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips. "Sure, use it. You'll find the wood outside."

Adam cursed himself in his thoughts.
His tone gave it away.

Mitch stopped his movement and slowly turned around to look at Adam longer than before. He had heard it clearly in the tone of his voice. After the anger was gone, all that was left was his sadness. His guest took a second to think twice, before he asked carefully, "Are you okay?" He didn't move and looked very sincere, but Adam knew better. He had to remind himself, how this guy in front of him really thought of his supposedly friends. His nice attitude had fooled them once before and got them to make a horrible decision. Adam would never do the same mistake twice. His stare turned frosty.

"See you later I guess."

"…Good night."

Mitch sounded disappointed, as Adam turned around and left the living room without another word. The hate that had been replaced by his sadness slowly bubbled up again and he embraced it dearly. With the help of the photo in the bin, which he passed on his way to the bedroom, the anger became stronger and satisfied about the more appealing emotions Adam went to bed.
This night he hadn't got a restful sleep at all.

Even on the next morning his mind was still filled with thoughts of Alesa, Mitch, the offer of Microsoft and Team Crafted. It was as quite as always and Adam enjoyed the moment of silence, which was only interrupted by some birds outside. A little smile slipped on his face, as he smelled fresh coffee. Then he froze. Had it been Mitch? Probably.
The smile disappeared and already having a bad mood, Adam went to the bathroom to get himself ready for the day.

Thick clouds painted the sky in a sick grey, hiding the sun from the world. Adam sighed as he entered the kitchen and looked skeptically around. "What the heck-?" he uttered confused and glanced at the table in the middle of the room, which was set for breakfast. A coffeepot stood near a plate and a cup, also there was a bread basket with his favorite things from the bakery. Taking a deep breath he moved forward and found a little note on the plate.

I'm really sorry – for everything. :(

"Damn it Mitch, can't you just behave like an asshole, please?" he rambled with a low voice in case he was near.
It was such a nice gesture and again Adam felt the hate disappear. He tried to maintain it, but it was no use. Looking around he couldn't see Mitch anywhere, so he allowed himself a small smile and sat down on the table to enjoy his breakfast. It was delicious and after finishing the meal he stood up again to find his guest. He had to be somewhere. Was he recording a video for YouTube?

At first Adam looked in the living room, but there was no trace of Mitch. He was already turning around to search the other rooms, as he noticed a figure outside on the terrace sitting in one of the chairs. "Ah, caught you!" he grinned and walked over to the door leading outside. Before he exited the house he took a second to let the friendly expression vanish, then he opened the door and stepped outside.

"Morning."
He got no answer.

At first Adam wanted to explode and scream at the guy who was even above himself to greet him, but then he stood in front of Mitch and saw the actual reason. His arms were crossed in front of his chest and his eyes were closed, as he continued to sleep peacefully. Without saying a word Adam picked up the dirty dishes and brought them back into the kitchen. It was too cold to have breakfast outside, but nonetheless Mitch had done it because he knew that Adam wouldn't eat with him at the same table.

Guilt mixed with his anger, for once directed at himself, and with a sigh he picked up a red woolen blanket. Back outside Mitch's position hadn't changed and careful not to wake him he put the blanket over the sleeping form of the Canadian. His hands rested on Mitch's shoulders and longer than necessary Adam scrutinized his pale face again. He would never admit it, but Mitch was as handsome as he had been back then, even though he had dark rings under his eyes. Another sigh escaped his lips, he got back up and sat down on the other chair.

Usually Adam enjoyed the silence and the chance to relax from his wonderful, but stressful job. Today he felt uneasy and got goose bumps all over his skin, but not due to the cold. The light was awkward and the clouds looked more threatening than the days before. He would prefer to go back inside, but he didn't want to leave Mitch outside all alone. Sure, Adam could just wake him up, but he looked really tired and needed some sleep.

Adam frowned.
Where did these damn thoughts come from? Why was he so nice all of a sudden? Mitch deserved all his anger and his hate, but… It was so easy to fall back into his old state of mind and just care for the Canadian like he did before their fight. Adam unconsciously wanted to look out for him, because he had the bad habit of not caring enough for himself when he was stressed. Obviously it didn't change over the time.

Half an hour later Adam had put up his feet on another chair and was looking at his phone, as a low groan drew his attention to his right. Mitch was waking up and with a yawn he rubbed his eyes. At first he didn't seem to notice Adam in the chair beside him, as he confusedly looked down at the blanket and then up into the sky. Finally he noticed Adam and stared at him abruptly with wide, fearful eyes.

It was a short moment in which he saw the Canadian's vulnerability.
Unconsciously it triggered some memories, hidden deep in his thoughts-
Screams. Furious words, horrible and unforgivable. Neither of them quieted down, as they pushed each other higher and higher.
A word. Every noise disappeared in an instant. A disbelieving laugh and then all emotions turned to ice-cold rage.
Another scream. A push, splintering glass and then a realization. But the anger didn't leave.
Shock. It was written all over his face and mixed with the panic and the fear it enraged him even more.

Mitch wore the same look on his face.
The memories of their fight came alive once again and with them the emotions.

"Morning."
His voice was even worse than yesterday night.
With satisfaction Adam watched the other one squirm under his piercing look.
As he released Mitch from his hateful stare, he heard him gasp for air.
A cruel smile adorned his face, while he watched the waves on the water.

It felt like a lifetime until Mitch suddenly stood up and turned to leave.
Of course Adam wouldn't let him go just like that. Too long had he kept the feelings at bay and scratched at the surface now and again. The time had come to show Mitch the true scale of the disaster that had occurred back then. Just once, just a little comment to see him break a little further…

"We are not going to be friends anytime soon. You know that, don't you?"
Teasing. Hateful. Cold.

"Of course I do."
A whisper, barely audible. Choking.
He sounded so lost, so broken in this moment that it pulled Adam out of his dark trance. His usual self, caring for others, became stronger and as he saw the trembling boy in front of him, it could lock the cruel side of him away for now. It wasn't gone completely, it never was, but Adam was able to say some nice words to calm his guest down a bit.

After all it was a condition to befriend Mitch again, otherwise he would lose his job and everything he held dear.
"Still, you don't have to stay in a hotel, it is way too expensive. And… thanks for the breakfast, I really appreciate it."
Mitch's reaction wasn't the one he was expecting. Instead of losing his tense stance it got even worse. His hands balled into fists and he began to tremble more than before. Adam bit on his lower lip. One side of him cheered because of the sight in front of him, but the other one screamed at him to do something useful for once.
His emotions were a mess, more than ever before.

"Mitch?"
He didn't manage to sound as friendly as he had intended to do, more suspiciously, but it did the job and made him talk.

"I'm alright," he tried to convince Adam with a horribly shaking voice, "Everything's fine."
Of course he failed.

Before Adam had the chance to reply, Mitch hurried inside and made a beeline for the hallway. Without thinking twice Adam jumped out of his seat and followed him. He was a few steps behind the escaping Canadian as he raised his voice again, "Wait, you're obviously not! What's up?"

He should've thought twice before starting to talk.
Too late did he realize that his words would provoke Mitch even more.

Roaring he turned around on the spot and began to yell.
"How dare you, Adam?! How the fuck dare you asking me something like that?!"

His face mirrored his inner feelings perfectly.
Never before had Adam been able to read the Canadian so easily.

Pure desperation shimmered in his eyes, mixed with the scarred reflection of his soul. A haunted look flitted across his pale face and his hollow cheeks made him look multiple years older than he was. Adam was completely taken aback and stared at Mitch with wide opened eyes.

"I'm trying like hell to please you! Every word I said to you since our meeting is so nice I wanna puke, every look I give you is so charming that anyone else would've jumped me by now! But no, not even the fucking breakfast showed you how goddamn serious I am about this!"
A dry laugh, the yelling stopped and Mitch began to talk in a voice that was even scarier – low, hollow and incredibly dark.

"I know that I screwed up big time Adam, but you don't have to rub it in every second of my existence. You don't want to be friends? Alright, I can live with that, but please, Adam, please don't give me the final push. It's hard enough to live with the guilt of destroying everything we held dear back then and I swear I can't stand another person doing that too."
The fight he had shown just seconds ago had disappeared completely. Now Mitch just looked incredibly exhausted, but not because of the lack of sleep.

"I'm going to sleep a bit."
He turned around to go back to the couch, but Adam's voice held him back.

"I can do that."
Mitch stopped and turned around again, his expression reserved.
"What?"

Adam cleared his throat, stared at the ground and then back up again with a sincere expression on his face.
"Not being an asshole, I mean."

Mitch didn't smile. Instead he scrutinized Adam for a long time, before he replied quietly, "I would appreciate that."
Then he went back to the living room and left Adam alone in the hallway with a million thoughts on his mind.

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