~present~

Peter could not fly, not without pixie dust and it was in such short supply that he forgoes using it whenever he could. That was why his Shadow was utilised, it could move between worlds with much more ease. Somewhere on the island, no one but he knew, there was a crop of beans that could transport the bearer to another world. You just had to think of where you wanted to go, if you knew. So when he pulled her over the cliff edge she knew that he was not pulling them to their deaths but Neverland. As a last ditch attempt to deny him she thought of London as hard as she could and the arm that he had wrapped around her waist tightened.

"Stop that!" he shouted as the blue vortex started to become tinged with green. But they were falling so fast that she could not concentrate and with a blinding flash she and Peter were sucked into the portal. They emerged with an equally blinding flash and driving winds onto the shore of the island and just as quickly as it appeared the portal vanished with a popping noise. Sprawled out on the sand together Wendy pushed him away. She stood, staring at him grimly as he rolled onto his back with a grin.

"Where is he? Where's Bae?"

"Oh, did I forget to mention? He's gone," he said, getting to his feet and batting sand off his clothes. Wendy blinked, mouth going dry.

"Wh - what? You said that you would let him go if I returned..." her hands started to shake.

"And I have. If I make a promise I keep it, my word is my bond." She sneered at this and he sighed. "I know you. I knew that you would agree so I just took the initiative. I've saved you from a pain Wendy. It would have been...cruel to see him only to be separated again," he said kindly and she stared at him intensely.

"How could I have been so wrong about you?"

Not waiting for an answer and without a backwards glance she walked into the jungle. Behind her Peter stood with his hands on his hips, frustration on his face. For someone who is used to getting his every way it was not something he took with much humility, at least not for anyone else to see.

"Don't come crying to me if you get lost!"

"Not much chance of that if I do, is there?" she shouted back primly. She knew exactly where she was going. She risked a look back but the shore was deserted. He could move as quick as thought but she hoped she had successfully driven him off. At least for now.

It had been a year since she last set foot in Neverland but like in a dream she walked purposefully, knowing that her route was true. The one good thing about Neverland, and of course the one awful, was that whatever you believed came true and in that moment she wanted Baelfire, even if he was truly gone. Sure enough she came to a clearing and an outcropping of rock. She glided her hands over it, inspecting it clearly and saw a gap near the soil line. An opening that lead below. Taking one sweeping glance around she wriggled into the hole and dropped a little into a stairway, roughly hewn from the rock. Using her hands she manoeuvred until she came to the end of the stairs and found a cavern before her. Pale shafts of light filtered through roots, enough to see the meagre furniture and possessions that littered the place.

Over the walls were pictures, depicting scenes both familiar and unfamiliar. A boy standing next to a man with a cane, a cottage, a huge ogre, a fairy in flight, a woman. Her heart bled for him, for a boy who gave up so much for a family he was just beginning to know. She had hoped, as her father started to come around to the idea, that Bae would be adopted by her parents. She, John and Michael had already started to love him like a brother, so it seemed to her the next logical step.

Wendy smiled sadly when she saw a clock tower. "Big Ben..."

She dipped her fingers into the lip of stone below the drawings and felt chalk dust. She trailed her fingers in it, no longer seeing the drawings. Since waking from her dream at school she had been forcing herself to be brave but now that she was alone that braveness crumbled. She was frightened and battling an overpowering feeling of helplessness. It was like the first night she spent at boarding school, only a thousand times worse. At least there she knew that she would see her family again but now?

"I can't stay here forever, I won't," she said, licking salt tears off her lips. She wiped her face with the back of her hand and bit her lip. If she really started to cry she would not be able to stop. She picked up a nub of chalk as music started to drift down from above and she froze, gripping the chalk tightly. She had never been able to hear the music that Peter played, he called it his lullaby for the lost, but now she could, just faintly. It could only be heard by the neglected and orphaned.

"No!" Wendy hummed to herself, something upbeat and the antithesis to the slow, melancholy music from above. Jupiter, the Bringer of Jollity. Joyful and a reminder of home. Moving to the music of her own making she started to draw, furiously concentrating until his terrible tune faded away. By the time she had finished the chalk was no more then a smear of white on her fingers but her drawing was completed. Composed of clean, straight lines her house in Bloomsbury Square contained images of her family standing together. Even Nana and Liza were there. Satisfied with her work she looked for more chalk and spaces to draw.

Every now and then, when her mind wandered and she stopped humming, Peter's lullaby would sneak in and cloud her mind. When this happened she would shout out the names of her family and friends, recall the colour of her front door, describe her favourite pudding, her rival at school and on and on. Because the music did not just proclaim you orphaned, after awhile you forget that you even had a family. She had seen it with the Lost Boys.

That's what he wants, he want me to forget but I won't. Not ever.

She spent a sleepless night in the cave and the next morning she ventured above ground. Not that there was much difference between day and night here, one was just a degree gloomier than the other. She was starving but knew that if she wanted to eat she would have to risk going near to his camp. Near the shore she found a clump of bushes, which luckily still had berries on them. There were two kinds to choose from: blue and red. Her fingers wiggled over the blue, unsure which ones she should pick.

"Not the blue, have you forgotten already?" Said a drawling voice behind her and she sprung up. Felix was leaning on his club, looking as bored with the world as the last time she saw him. For all his sang-froid he was the only one that she felt was anywhere near to being normal. He was the oldest of the Lost Boys and the music had no effect on him. How he became Peter's second in command she could not say.

"It's been a year," she explained and picked some of the red ones, eating them there. He still hovered behind her and she sighed, turning. "Am I in your way?"

"You know it's in your best interests to just play nice," he said, not unkindly.

"Play? I'm done pretending. I am here, like he wanted, isn't that enough?"

Felix said nothing, just gazed at her. A scar crossed his face and she had often wondered how he had got it but never asked. He looked down the shore and pulled off his hood, revealing a head of shaggy blonde hair.

"He wants you to come to the camp this evening. There will be a feast in your honour and there you can discuss what needs to be discussed," he said, his bored tone now tinged with annoyance. Wendy narrowed her eyes at him.

"Why do you follow his orders? You are not a servant and I know you are not bewitched like the others."

Felix actually smiled at her. "I presume loyalty never crossed your mind?"

"How could a – a thing such as him produce loyalty in anyone?"

But Felix just smiled again and said nothing. He handed her a piece of parchment and left, slinging his club over his shoulders as he disappeared into the trees. Wendy looked down at the paper and as expected found nothing. It was blank.

She used it to collect berries, staining it a deep red.

Wendy did not waste any more time fretting in the cave. While Peter had everyone on the island in his pocket he did not have her or, she hoped, the only other female inhabitant. She remembered the first time Peter had told her about Tinkerbell. She been so excited to see her first real fairy and had fought hard to hold down her disappointment when she had actually seen the disgraced fey. But her disappointment had turned quickly into pity and with it the first real prickles that something was not quite right with Neverland.

It took her the whole morning to find the right tree and by the time she spotted the cord it was midday. She knew not by the light, that never really changed but by how hot it was.

"Please be there, please..." she muttered, wiping sweat from her brow as she gripped the cord and, praying that favour was on her side, gave it a yank. Far, far above she heard a sweet tinkling noise as a bell rang and then after a minute a blond head poked out of a window.

"WHAT?!" The fairy shouted grumpily. Maybe she had been sleeping.

"HELLO TINK! IT'S WENDY!" She waved.

Silence from above but she saw Tink stretching out of the window and peer down. Suddenly she disappeared and the rope ladder was flung down from above. Steeling herself Wendy started the long climb up but knew that the woman – and the view – would be worth it. When she finally reached the trap door her arms were shaking and her muscles seizing so when Tink pulled her up and dropped her into a chair she was grateful.

"Catch your breath," the fairy said when Wendy tried to speak. She stared down at her with a heavy frown, as if she was debating with herself whether Wendy was real or not. Finally she shook her head. "I can't believe you're here."

"I had such a lovely time before that I had to return," Wendy said breathlessly, mouth quirked but her eyes were dark. Tink sank to her knee sadly and took Wendy's hand.

"Bae is gone,"

"I know, too late," her smile faded away and she stared at the view. Here, high above the canopy they were treated to a spectacular view. There was even enough light to make out the misty mountains in the distance. Tink squeezed her hand and Wendy looked down.

"Did he bring you here?" Tink asked gently. Wendy nodded, her eyes glossy with unshed tears and the fairy stood up angrily. "I should never have done that spell."

Wendy shook her head and smiled. "I wanted you to. I don't blame you for what happened," she said sincerely and something gleamed in Tink's eyes and she blinked rapidly, looking down.

"Well at least you don't," she said with a guttural laugh and Wendy frowned. Tinkerbell stared out of the window, her face harsh. "If I knew who he was I wouldn't have done it."

Wendy stood and came to her side. "What's done is done. Anyway I think that pixie dust was faulty, you should take it back and demand a refund!"

"Ya think?"

"I do. As if he could love anyone. He's not capable of it," she said, gaze loosing focus. The memory of what transpired, the hope and transcendent joy that was smashed into agonising pieces would stay with her until she died. She pulled herself away from the memory and smiled softly at Tink, giving her a nudge with her shoulder.

"I'm glad that you're here."

"Well I'm glad one of us is," she said with a weak smile.

Over lunch Wendy told Tink about the feast that she has been invited to. She wanted to know if she was walking into a trap.

"I think there's no point delaying the inevitable. At least this way it's your choice to go. Maybe he'll be reasonable and listen to what you want. It's not unheard of," she said when Wendy looked uncertain.

"I want to be left alone."

"And what? You'll just stay in that cave forever?"

"Of course not. I have a plan," she said smartly and Tink cocked an eyebrow before drawing her fingers over her mouth. Peter had eyes and ears everywhere.

"So it's decided then?"

"Yes, I'll go to his silly feast."

The camp was tidier then she remembered, while living there she had tried her hardest to drill into them the importance of having a well ordered home and it seemed to have stuck. Or Peter had threatened them before she arrived, either was likely.

Feeling strangely under dressed she walked into the camp, chin held as high as it had been the first time and stopped beside the fire. The Lost Boys were all neatly lined up and as she appeared they all bowed solemnly. Before it would make her laugh but now she felt a chill go through her. At some point these would have been boys with their own special dreams and boyish obsessions but now they were no more than puppets and they had no idea.

The string puller gave his own mock bow, grin stretching his mouth while Felix remained upright. He only inclined his head at her and she was strangely pleased. Peter sprang upright and offered his hand to her, which she ignored and sat at the table where the feast was laid. There was fish, baked pig, yams, coconuts, bananas, mammee-apples, bread fruit, rolls and an assortment of things that had to have been made up because she had no idea what they were.

"You wanted to talk?"

"Yes," Peter said as he sat at the head of the table. Once sat the Lost Boys took their seats. She could see some boys clasping their hands together or make other signs and knew that they must be new while the others just grabbed what they wanted and ate.

"Well?" She gazed at him stonily and he smirked at her.

"You've grown up. Oh well, you're free of that now. I think we got off on the wrong foot Wendy -"

"You threatened to drown my entire school!" She retorted hotly.

"It was a game! You don't really think I'd do something like that do you? I've never killed anyone in my life," he said sincerely and Wendy was perturbed because she believed him, to an extent. He may not have blood on his hands directly but she had no doubt that he could rile his followers up to a bloodshed.

"You're not an honourable person," she said stiffly and he laughed.

"Honour? Please show me an honourable man! Hook thought himself that once and there's still a part clinging to that foolishness. Look at him now."

Hook, the feared pirate was a defeated man, she knew that but misery can take a lot from a person. But he was not the person in question. Wendy leaned closer to him, eyes narrowed.

"I don't know what you are, you're certainly not a boy. You're cruel and delight in trickery and I will not be part of your games. If I am to stay here then leave me in peace."

"If that's what I wanted I would have left you in England," he said, speaking low. His lip curled.

"What do you want? You made it perfectly clear that you wanted nothing more to do with me," she hissed and Peter stood suddenly. He smiled at the boys, telling them to continue eating and motioned for Wendy to follow him. She hesitated, eyeing her escape route where she knows Tink was waiting and then looked at Felix. She may as well ask one of the trees to help her.

He waited at the base of the great hollow tree until she came to him and then slid through one of the holes in the trunk to the room below. It was as she remembered it: a great cavern filled with niches and off shoots where the Lost Boys slept when it was cold. Curtains hung over roots and rugs made from reeds covered the floor. She had got them to do that, make it look more homely. Candles fluttered as they past through a curtain and came into Peter's room. It was the biggest, of course, with a wrought iron bed and at the end there was a throne like chair, carved from the tree. Above it she knew there was a way up, a way to escape but so did Peter.

He sat on the lip of the chair and smiled at her. "You were saying?"

Wendy narrowed her eyes, "You don't want them to know, do you?"

"I thought I was protecting you from embarrassment but okay."

Once she had been deeply embarrassed but she would not give him the satisfaction again. She moved up to him and pinned his eyes with her own. Her father always said that even if you're scared it's always good form to pretend and show who's boss.

"I want you to deliver a letter for me," she said and his eyebrows shot up.

"A letter?"

"Yes. A letter to my family letting them know that I'm well and not to worry," she gulped and her voice wavered but she did not cry. "So I know that it's been sent I want them to reply and I will know if it's real or not."

Peter gazed at her thoughtfully. "I see. And if I refuse?"

"Then I will never speak to you again."

She knew her threat would work. If he did not want her on the island he would not have gone to such lengths to get her back. Why he would want her remained to be seen.

"I'm not a postman," he said and she knew that she had won. She handed him the page, which she had found in Bae's cave, and turned to leave.

"I think you know the address," she said, about to leave when he was behind her suddenly. His proximity sent a prickling tingle through her, it always had.

"Fine but I'd like you to live in the house that we built you. Not the other place," he said firmly and she turned. He was far too close but she did not back away. Bae's cave, where she had just spent hours drawing reminders of her life in England. Somehow he knew and of course wanted her away from any recollection. She smiled at him sadly.

"I'm sorry but it won't work, even if I live in the little house for a hundred years. I won't forget."

"They all say that," he said and smiled at her with an odd tenderness. "You can hear it now, can't you?"

"It won't work," she repeated firmly and climbed quickly out of the tree. The Lost Boys were still eating and only the ones who had been there longest watched her go. As she passed she saw some of the new arrivals reaching for the make believe food and knew that they would be going to bed with empty stomachs. She made a beeline for the table, picked up the offending trays and said with as much writhing distaste as she could muster: "I don't believe in you," the pretend food vanished, every last bit.

The fooled boys watched their lunch disappear while the older boys cried out in disappointment. Their cruel fun had been spoiled. Good. By the time she leaves Neverland that won't be the only thing she'll take.

a.n:

I'm going to aim to have one chapter set in the present and another in the past and so on. Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews! I'll try to update as soon as I can :)