Life is Strange: My Unusual Journey

Chapter 19 of my Life is Strange novelization, enjoy.

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Now onto the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Life is Strange and its characters.

Dark Room – What Could Have Been

Silence, awkward silence, that was what spread between Chloe and I as we moved slowly to the edge of the beach. I was walking alongside her wheelchair as she moved it along the path. I still couldn't believe all of this was happening, that I had caused all this, all from simply trying to change one thing. Clearly a major thing, time didn't like my meddling and everything got fucked up massively.

'I just wanted to make things better for Chloe, to let her have her father; to change what happened to her, to save her...but what was I saving her from and, this, is this really the only other outcome there could have been?' I thought in dismay.

I quickly pulled myself out of my thoughts, continuing to walk alongside Chloe as we observed the poor beached whales, yet another oddity that happened, marking another countdown to the tornado. All the same, I couldn't help but observe how different we were; here I was, in up-market clothing, part of the Vortex club, yet I couldn't feel more out of place.

Chloe wore simple clothes and a blanket over her lap, was unable to walk and confined in practically everything she did; yet she at least made the effort to smile, or try to find some bright spot. Very different from the Chloe I knew in the old time line.

Finally, Chloe broke the awkward silence.

"It's, weird hanging out with you again." She said calmly.

I nodded and replied, trying to keep my voice steady. "I know...I'm glad we are though."

If anything my uneasiness and social anxiety seemed to still be prevalent in this new time line; I was feeling more awkward by the second. What was worse, I couldn't let on that I was clueless as to what was happening, which made for a very nice headache on top of everything else.

"It was nice that you, sent me actual letters." Chloe replied, a smile creeping onto her face. "That's more than any of my other friends have done. And you even wrote on that cool parchment paper, that's so Max."

I couldn't help but smile at that; at least some things weren't different about me here.

I replied as best I could. "So pretentious. But I love writing on it, like an English Poet. You deserve the best stationary."

There was a brief pause before Chloe spoke again. "Probably easier to write than to visit me."

I cringed at that; even in this time line I practically abandoned Chloe. 'How terrible am I, can't I do anything right?'

It wasn't all about me I knew that; but it had been my actions that did this to Chloe. I was just jumping from one fucked up mistake to another, without fixing anything.

"I don't mean that in a bitchy way." She said quickly. "Not totally."

I just shook my head; she had every right to do that.

She continued however. "You probably wanted to avoid awkward conversations like this."

I couldn't deny, maybe she was right.

Didn't make it right; but it was just the way things were.

I tried not to fumble my words as I replied. "Uh, yeah, pretty much, yeah."

"Look, the worst thing you can do is treat me like a baby." Chloe replied frankly. "I still want to laugh and talk shit with my best friend."

She then asked if we could stop, I agreed and we stood for a while. I wanted to focus, I so badly did, but my mind kept wandering, everything that had changed and become messed up. I thought of all the things I had seen at Blackwell and on my way to Chloe's house, my only tastes of this new messed up reality.

I tried to fit them together in my head. 'I'm friends with Victoria, Nathan, part of the Vortex club...Warren got together with Stella...David's the school bus driver, he actually looks happier than usual.'

I sighed; out of all of that; I couldn't believe my own selfishness. Just the thought of Warren together with Stella brought a pain to my chest, it hurt more than I cared to admit.

I recalled how I asked Warren to meet at lunch, when I planned to tell him my feelings, based on Chloe's words. Now that was all gone. But now wasn't the time to be petty or think on that, so instead I focused once more on Chloe.

I was just in time as she was about to begin talking again.

"This is seriously the best view of the sunset, what do photographers call that?"

I smiled and replied without hesitation. "The Golden Hour."

Chloe gave a soft laugh; I still wasn't used to her this way, especially not without the blue hair that seemed so much a part of her now, or the punk clothing, tattoos...It was all so surreal.

She then joked. "See, without you here, I'd have no clue. Bet you could take some amazing shots...Those beached whales are so sad."

I bowed my head, hearing the melancholy slipping into her voice.

"I kind of know how they feel." She continued. "At least I'm alive here with you."

Finally, I don't know what made me say it, guilt maybe, but the words just spilled out

"You're a real survivor Chloe; I know you have to deal with so much." I hesitated; unsure if I had said it right.

Chloe replied, not angry, but firm. "I don't want anybody else feeling sorry for me. I can do that, along with my parents. My dad still feels guilty about buying me that car."

She had a sad distant look in her eyes now and I was again reminded that I had caused all this.

Unsure what to say, I ended up blurting out. "Are you okay to talk about the accident?"

If she could have, I'm sure Chloe would've shrugged at that, going by her reply.

"We never actually have, huh? There's not much to say, some prick in an SUV cut me off and I flew into a ditch, saw everything like it was in, bullet time, felt my spine snap, after that...nothing. That, was the last thing I ever felt in my body."

An uneasy silence reigned again.

Chloe closed her eyes, opened them again and continued, as if she hadn't stopped.

"When I woke up in the hospital...I literally couldn't move a muscle."

"Jesus…" I gasped. "I...I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. I'm just, happy that I did get to see you again." Chloe replied honestly. "I could have ended up vanishing out of the blue like that girl from Blackwell."

That struck, even in this time line, Rachel was missing.

I swallowed nervously. "You mean Rachel Amber, when was the last time you talked to her?"

It was a thoughtless comment, one I should've thought about, everything else had changed after all.

"Uh, never; I just read about her in the news." Chloe explained, leaving me feeling foolish. "I didn't even know her name. You did?"

I quickly, and awkwardly, tried to deflect. "This is, such a different world from when we were kids, huh?"

"After that snow and eclipse, it's more like the end of the world." Chloe replied.

I tensed again, another reminder, the tornado was still coming, I hadn't fixed anything.

"Do you think so, I haven't kept up with the details?" I queried.

Chloe smirked a little. "I have more time on my hands than you...Plus I'm a science nerd."

Okay, that was a major difference right there.

"But none of this makes sense..." Chloe said; gazing into the distance.

I couldn't help myself as I spoke again. "I know things seem out of control, but...as long as we're together, I don't feel afraid."

Chloe smiled warmly. "Hanging out with you makes me feel like a total kid again, you don't even know..."

I sighed, feeling guilty all over again.

Unable to bear it I spoke again.

"Chloe, listen, I'm sorry I haven't been out to see you more. That was wrong, I was wrong." I told her softly. "You're my best friend"

Chloe didn't look angry however, her expression was soft and her voice caught as she replied. "Max, thanks for coming out to see me. You're...You're doing awesome."

I shook my head, I certainly didn't think that and said so.

Chloe looked as awkward as I felt now and sounded like she was trying to deflect with her reply.

"Um, my...my nose is getting cold. Maybe we should go back to my place."

I smiled and tried to lighten the mood. "It is hella cold out here."

"Hella?" Chloe queried with a laugh. "I hate that word, no offense."

That nearly stopped me dead too; yup, this was different; way to different for me to process it all at once. I reassured her that I didn't take any offense and together we turned and left the beach, heading back to Chloe's house.

Back in Chloe's house, we were both currently in her room; which had been converted from the garage. Chloe was propped upright in the specialized bed, I sat on a chair next to the bed. The whole room was a hi-tech lab with all kinds of mechanical devices designed to aid Chloe.

Two items stood out however that were not mechanical. One was a framed picture that I recognized, the one I took of Chloe and William that day, when I saved his life. The other was a familiar punk bracelet, at least some of the old Chloe was here.

"This is a pretty hi-tech lair." I couldn't help but comment.

"Feels like a hi-tech cell." Chloe replied hollowly, but brightened as she continued. "But I am lucky my parents bust their ass to take care of me. I know it's hard for them."

I had noticed that; despite looking worn down, William and Joyce always had a look of love and tenderness in their eyes, whenever they saw their daughter.

"They are grateful you're here with them." I replied; unsure what else to say.

"Right." Chloe replied, an edge of sarcasm creeping into her voice. "Especially when they can't even take a walk alone. Sometimes I act like a total teenage brat just to give them an excuse to yell at me. Pathetic, I know, and they never do."

I shook my head at that. "Chloe, you're a great daughter. You're kind and sensitive, when you don't even have to be."

I was trying to reassure her; but I couldn't tell if she believed me or not.

Chloe just sighed and replied levelly.

"Trust me; I still get my rage on." She grimaced as she said the next part. "Especially when a nurse has to watch while I take a dump, so she can wipe my bum. Or when doctors flip me around like I was a science doll."

As she said this I bit my lip, raising a hand to my forehead, rubbing it briefly; now wasn't the time to be distracted by my growing headache.

I replied as gently as I could. "I can't even imagine. But you're still amazing; you always have been, ever since we were kids."

Chloe smiled widely at that. "Thanks again for coming Max; I uh, I need to get my drink on, can you get me some water."

She gestured with her head towards the cup on the bedside table. I nodded and stood up, retrieving the cup, I leaned over and held it out, so Chloe could take the straw in her mouth and drink. Once she was done I put the cup back down and sat down again as she spoke.

"Oh man, no wonder my throat is dry." She quipped. "I don't think I've talked this much the whole year."

I tried to offer a suggestion. "Have you, ever thought about doing a podcast?"

Chloe rolled her eyes at that and I was worried I'd said the wrong thing again.

As it turned out I had, but Chloe took it in good humour.

"I wish I could punch your face right now. A podcast?" She remarked, a slight laugh in her voice. "Dude, I am a pod in a cast, boring."

I grimaced at that but took some relief that she was able to joke about it. "Ouch, it was just a thought."

Chloe nodded slightly at that. "I know you're just trying to help."

"Yeah, that's become a bad habit of mine." I said with a sigh; recalling everything this week so far.

Honestly, for every good thing I did, it seemed I fucked up about three other things in return. Truthfully, the only people I had actually truly helped this week seemed to be Dana, easing her worries over her pregnancy, Alyssa, more than once from various mishaps, and Kate, saving her from killing herself.

"You sound like an adult now." Chloe remarked. "It seems like we were kids in another life."

"You're right." I replied. "I wish I could take us all the way back there again."

Even as I said it, I knew it was dangerous; after all, I had just found how easily my power could mess with everything, it was only through a small, careful experiment when I had a brief moment alone that I found I could still rewind.

But what if I couldn't do whatever I had done with that picture again, would I be trapped here forever. But what was the alternative, letting William die, could I do that?

Chloe however did not noticed my fears and preoccupation.

"Wish I could build us a DeLorean." She joked.

I fumbled my words again but tried. "Well um, with your scientific mind, you might just do that."

Still wasn't on board with the whole Chloe as a science nerd thing.

"But time travel can screw things up too." I remarked; how true that was, as I now saw.

Chloe added her own comment. "Plus, you'd have to be my live in assistant; to help me build a machine. As you can see, I can't keep all my other friends away."

I had to admit, that was hard to hear. It shocked me I'll admit, even though I was one of them.

"You have me, I'm not leaving you Chloe." I told her.

She sighed sadly. "Well, you didn't visit me a lot either; I mean I loved your cards, your photos, but..."

I too sighed. "I know I wasn't around much, no excuses. I'm a loser. But, I'm trying to make things right."

For all the good it did, after all, I was looking right at the evidence of what trying to make things right did for me.

"How?" Chloe queried; shaking her head. "Dude, you're not Super-Max; and I'm not trying to guilt-trip you. That's what my parents are for."

I smiled gently at that. "They love you so much."

Chloe's smile grew. "I know. My mom and dad are so cute. They always pop in here to make sure everything's okay with me."

"I think Joyce and William are incredible."

Chloe looked sad again. "Max, the accident has been so hard on them. Our insurance sucks and the medical bills are fucking insane and all this...doesn't come cheap."

She looked around the room as she said it and a gnawing feeling of guilt began once again within me.

I nodded in agreement with that; wondering just how much longer this would carry on. Once again, the thought of possibly changing things back entered my mind. But even if I could do it, would I? It meant letting William die, 'again'.

"Mom and dad are always broke and they get so frustrated." Chloe explained sadly. "Is it worth it?"

"Chloe, you're priceless." I told her; before realizing and cringing. "No pun intended."

Still she brightened at that. "You are such a geek, that's why I love you. Of course I know a geek when I be one. See I'm practically a human entertainment system."

She paused briefly before adding. "It would be sweet to chill out together and watch a movie, like when you'd spend the night at my house."

I eagerly turned at that; anything even slightly resembling normalcy would be good right now.

"What do you wanna watch?"

She grinned at that and replied. "I'm kinda in a mellow Blade Runner mood; I always cry at the end. Plus you know I always wanted to have cool coloured bangs like Pris."

"You'd look great with blue hair." I replied, knowing the truth of that of course.

I stood up and began searching for the DVD; I finally found it.

"Let's get this show on the road and you better not fall asleep on me like you always do when we watch movies."

Chloe laughed at that and nodded while I set up the DVD and took my seat again; we sat watching the movie as Wednesday ended and Thursday began, as my eyes grew heavy and before I knew it, I was the one sleeping.

I slowly woke up, it was morning, the sun was up, we were a day closer to the tornado. I was aware of Chloe's eyes upon me and heard her coughing again and I instantly felt ashamed; however I quickly covered it with jokes, as I sat up, besides, she had fallen asleep too.

Grinning I spoke to her. "I cannot believe you fell asleep so fast, how dare you?"

"I know you were beat down after the day with me." She replied with that soft smile again. "And Blade Runner is a pretty dreamy movie to watch at night. Uh, do you think Deckard is a replicant?"

I let my smile widen and Chloe nodded.

"Sorry, I can see you're not wide awake like me."

I shook my head, deciding to stop hiding my shame. "No, I'm sorry I crashed so hard, were you...okay?"

"I do have a mother and father when you're not falling asleep on me." She joked.

I shook my head and shot back. "You are a bitch in the morning."

"It's the company I keep." She paused before looking nostalgic. "Yesterday was a blast."

I nodded in agreement. "It was great, seeing you."

"I know things were different when we were just dorky kids, but being with you made me feel like when we were little pirates." She told me. "Jumping and running through the forests again. It meant a lot to me, just to chill out with you and bullshit."

Suddenly she gasped and looked in pain, I started but she seemed to relax and explained.

"I'm getting my usual head pains again. Uh, can you, pretty please, get my...my morphine injector from the bathroom?"

"Morphine injector?" I echoed, shocked.

"It's ah..." She grimaced and continued. "It's total Star Trek shit; you can't even see the needle. Seriously, I need it."

She began explaining about her parents keeping it upstairs, but I didn't need any more convincing. I agreed and made my way to the door; I took a deep breath and stepped through, into the living room.

As I did so I spotted William seated at the living room table; he was muttering to himself and I could see things weren't good, more guilt ate into me and I wondered; why was everything so fucked up now.

Yes, in the original time line, Joyce, Chloe and David had money problems, but they were nowhere near as extreme as this and if what I'd overheard was true, they had nearly paid them off and would soon be able to build their finances back up again. But here, it was never-ending. I began to walk towards the stairs, still lost in guilt when my phone beeped, it was Victoria. I didn't reply.

Just reading all the texts here made me feel uneasy, it was so not me. I quickly made my way upstairs and went straight to the bathroom; I didn't stop; I just wanted to get this done with and get back to Chloe, my mind was still racing with implications; with consequences, for my actions, for everything I did.

Finding the morphine injector I grabbed it and headed back downstairs, heading straight back to Chloe's room.

She smiled when she saw me. "Finally, give me the blue pill."

"I'm sorry, I'm nosy but not precise." I told her, suddenly worried; realizing what she was asking.

"Go ahead and plug it right in, it's easy and painless." She told me.

"Um, okay." I said as I got to work setting it up. "But be ready to yell for your folks if I screw up."

Chloe smiled through the pain. "Oh, trust me, I will."

I finished my task and thankfully got it right.

After a brief pause, Chloe spoke again; her voice level once more.

"Of course my pain just keeps getting worse; but you caught me on a good day." She smiled again. "Max I'm so grateful that I'm even able to hang out with you again. See, I'm getting mushy, I'm already high."

I smiled softly at that before asking. "Do you, want anything else?"

"Um, stop me if I'm being too emo." She replied. "But can you grab one of the photo albums over there? I'd like to check out some old pictures of us when we were kids."

I agreed and made my way over; I picked up the album and made my way back; I had to think, could I really do it, could I really still use pictures to go back into the past.

As much as I was happy to see William again, nothing was worth this; even if it left me with yet another mark of guilt, knowing he'd have to die to set things back to normal. But to do that, I'd need a relevant photo, one that could work, even the same one as before. Sitting down I placed the album so Chloe could see and we began looking through the pictures, smiling and sharing the good memories.

That was when I saw it, that very picture.

'I can use this to go back, but, but I still need to...' I thought quickly.

After a pause, I heard Chloe, it sounded like she was trying to think how to explain something.

Finally she seemed to just go for it and spoke.

"Listen Max; my respiratory system is failing and...and it's only getting worse." She told me. "I heard the doctors talking about it when they thought I was zonked out. So I know I'm just putting off the inevitable while my parents suffers along...and I will too."

I froze at that, Chloe was, dying...slowly, painfully dying. God, this was worse than I thought.

She shook her head. "This isn't how I want things to end."

"What, what are you saying?" I asked in desperation; praying it wasn't what I thought.

With a sad smile, Chloe spoke, frank and to the point, no drama. "I'm saying, that being with you again has been so special. I just wanted to feel like when we were kids running around Arcadia Bay...and everything was possible. You made me feel that way today, I want this time with you to be my last memory."

My blood turned cold as I realized the horrific truth, even before she said. Chloe was asking me to help her end her life. How could I even do that; it; it wasn't...but then, she was dying, slowly and painfully, and this way...No matter what way I looked at it, it sucked; but could I really do what she was asking?

"All you have to do, is crank the IV up to eleven." She explained; in that exact same tone.

I shuddered but in the end, I couldn't deny her, I nodded and accepted her request, feeling as if I had just condemned myself in the meantime.

I found it difficult to breathe.

"Chloe..." I choked out.

"I'll just, drift asleep, dreaming of us here together...forever." She replied; still calm as anything.

I waited in an agony of suspense, but she said nothing else. So I stood and, with a heavy heart, I stood, approached the IV and, with trembling fingers, turned it up to full. I turned back to her, fighting back tears.

She just smiled and spoke, her voice fading. "Thank you so much, I'm so proud of you for following your dreams. Don't forget about me"

"Never." My voice was thick as I tried to stay in control.

"See you around." She said, before finally closing her eyes.

"Sooner than you think."

I bowed my head sadly and sat in silence, mourning for a while. But finally, I knew I couldn't delay, I had to fix this; I had to prevent this, and there was only one way to do it. I focused immediately on the photo of me and Chloe.

"I'm sorry William."

Once again it blurred but I focused my power, willing myself, praying I could control it, this once. I was successful and as the picture became sharply clear, I felt that tug on my mind as I was once more transported into the past.

Once more I was present as William took the picture, as everything unfolded exactly as before. Only this time, I knew what I had to do, and it broke my heart to do it. But I knew the alternative and I couldn't let that happen. I stood before the fireplace, making sure nobody could see me.

I dropped the picture into the fire, removing the temptation, all the while fighting back tears. I watched as William left, as he was supposed to and finally leaned against the wall, by the phone, burying my face in my hands. I stayed that way until Chloe approached me.

"Max, you are being so fucking strange, like you're never gonna see us again?"

I couldn't help it, the words just burst out. "Chloe, I'm so sorry...I tried to make things different for you, I...I did try, I'm sorry."

Chloe looked at me confused. "I don't know exactly what you're talking about, but come on, you have made things different, like, my whole life, you're my best friend. I've got you and a great family, what's to be sorry for? We'll be best friends forever and when we grow up, we're taking over the world."

If only she knew, if only. I had to speak again, hoping against hope that words would make a slight change, one slight enough not to fuck everything up, but hopefully make things better.

"Listen, whatever happens, I want you to be strong, even if you feel like I wasn't there for you...because I will never abandon you Chloe."

It was so hard to restrain my tears, knowing what was to come. I had tried to change it, but the cost was just too high. Time was inexorable, if it couldn't have it's way, it would make a worse situation, to ensure that it got its dues in the end. A lesson now hard learned.

"I'll always have your back. Always." I told her as things began to fade out.

I soon found myself falling through the abyss again, seeing photos of the past, changing before my eyes and what I saw confirmed that things were back on the normal track. This was how things had to be, so this was it.

Goodbye William, again.

Hello David, again.

End of chapter, hope you enjoyed it, read and review please.