~past~

She grabbed her hair and rung it like a wet wash cloth between her hands, water dripping through her fingers before she flung the length over her back. It was getting longer. Not for the first time she wondered how long she had actually been on the island. Sometimes it felt like a very long time but she did not feel weary. Every morning she woke as excited and interested as the first time but she thought it must have been a few weeks by now.

Her swimming lessons were going very well, her legs strengthening and soon she could dive and touch the seabed, bringing up shells and startled crabs. With a swimsuit, where he had found such a thing she had no idea, covering her modestly Peter had taken her swimming almost everyday. At first she had been wary, at fifteen she had started to gain a more womanly figure but she may as well have been a bag of potatoes where all the boys were concerned. What really worried her was thought of the mermaid but it seemed his threat had an impact because she did not see another one until that fateful morning.

"Peter look!" She pointed out to sea where as she watched heads bobbed into view. A dozen mermaids were surfacing and though they were at a great distance she felt her stomach tighten in fear.

"Hmm, what's got their attention?" he wondered and helped her out of the water. Wrapped in a blanket she followed him until they reached a cluster of rocks where a great commotion was happening. A group of Lost Boys were throwing something to the seagulls, something which she mistook for bread. As she got closer she saw that they had a great chest open at their feet and were throwing an assortment of gems and coins into the air. When a seagull swooped down and took a jewel the boys laughed, in fact she was sure they were taking score.

"That's not very nice," she said with a frown.

"Don't worry, they're dropping them, see?" Peter said and it was true, the gems were falling from their bills but Wendy was sure some unfortunate bird had swallowed some by mistake. Wendy watched them a they threw rubies, pearls, emeralds and what she took to be diamonds into the water like they were skipping stones and could not take any more.

"I really don't think you should be doing that!" she said to Tootles who turned, ready to lob a ruby the size of her fist into the sea.

"But it's fun! Try it!" He said and handed her the jewel before grabbing a fist full of coins and throwing them like rice at a wedding.

"Fun..." she looked down at it's perfectly faceted face as Peter came up behind her and spoke into her ear.

"Don't be worried Wendy. After all what are riches and wealth in this place?"

"But this must belong to someone."

"Yes, until it was stolen by pirates. What use is it to them here? Anyway we found it," he said as if that settled the matter and reached for a coin. He squinted an eye, drew his hand back and made the coin skip along the water. The boys crowed and asked to be shown how he did it.

Wendy bounced the ruby, which would buy her Bloomsbury house ten fold, and with a rush of daring she let it fall into the sea with a plunk. It was, even after everything, one of the most thrilling feelings of reckless youth that she had ever experienced. Cares to the wind she grabbed a fist full of pearls and scattered them before her. Coming back to her house that night she had been practically bouncing with satisfaction, feeling nothing but a swirling joy and burgeoning deep affection and as she dressed for bed she did not for a moment believe that anything could spoil it.

But everyone knew that you don't steal from pirates and get away with it.

When she woke it was not to the sound of birds or even the laughter of boys but the gruff breathing of men. Wendy, half asleep, opened her eyes into a profound darkness and then immediately sat up. Her hands and ankles were bound tightly and someone had gagged her. Breathing heavily she looked up and saw a ring of pirates around her.

"Good morning miss," one of them who wore a red hat said politely while the others either glanced or ignored her completely.

Wendy closed her eyes, wishing them away and to only find herself in her house and away from this nightmare but they were still there when she looked. She moaned in fear and shuffled forward but someone put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her back. And good thing too, any further and she would have toppled right over and fell to her death.

She was in a great cave and directly before her was an abyss, the kind that draws your eye and wants you to lean closer and look down. Wendy tore her eyes away and glared up at the pirates. The one in the red hat looked down at her apologetically.

"Sorry about this, it's nothing personal. I didn't really want to come but the others were so angry about the treasure chest. It was the straw that broke the camel's back, as they say."

Wendy lifted her bound hands, begging with her eyes and then demanding when the pirate didn't move. He was clearly the most sympathetic to her plight because he started to bend down when one of the others pushed him away.

"Leave her be. We need to show him that we mean business."

"And what business could you possibly have with me?"

At the sound of Peter's voice she almost wept with joy. He was standing at the other side of the cave, the abyss between them. There was no way for him to cross, not without pixie dust and if he had she knew he would have rescued her by now. He was staring at the pirates with an expression she had seen only once, when the mermaid had tried to drown her and it was as unsettling now as it was then. Despite the distance all of the pirates drew their weapons and pointed them at Peter, who just stood and stared.

"We want to negotiate: this girl in exchange for a way out of Neverland."

Peter narrowed his eyes. "And if I refuse?"

Wendy screeched as she was roughly pulled up and pushed to the cave edge. If the pirate let go she would fall into that darkness and whatever was below. She stared at Peter, tears making her vision blurred so she could only guess what expression he wore but by the sound of his voice it must have been awful.

"I wouldn't do that again, not if you want to find me agreeable. Unbind her and we'll talk."

She was pulled back and her heart pounded against her ribs as a blade cut her ankles and hands free. She ripped the gag from her mouth and struggled away from the pirates. But she had nowhere to go, only down. Almost hyperventilating she searched the cavern for a way across and eyed the edges. It was dangerous but there was enough handholds to grip onto. As if knowing what she was thinking Peter spoke to her, holding out a hand.

"Easy Wendy-bird."

"He's right love, not unless you can fly," a pirate said and poked her. Later she thought that there was no real menace in the prod, it was just to scare her a little but he did not count on the loose rock under her foot or they way she would turn so quickly at the contact. With a gasp she lost her footing and went over the edge. The rocks scrapped against her skin, along her arms and legs, drawing blood but she was too scared to feel it.

"NO!" The cry seemed to be ripped out of Peter, a painful sound and if she asked him now about it he would deny it. But as she scrabbled for a hold his dismay echoed around them and rang in her ears.

The pirates dropped to their knees and stretched out their hands but she was too far away from them. Wendy stopped slipping, fingers curled for dear life into a crack and she stayed still, sweat dripping down her face.

"Peter," she whispered, more afraid then she had been in her life.

"It's okay, it's okay. Look to your right. Can you see the lip of stone? Try to reach it, it's just over there," his voice was rough.

Wendy looked and sure enough there was a rock protruding big enough for her to sit on. Looking up at the pirates, who looked shocked, she forced herself to let go of her death grip and reach for another hand hold. It was one the most difficult things she had ever done, that tiny movement but once she had done it she scrabbled for the rest until she pulled herself up the lip, teeth clenched in effort and rolled onto her back.

The pirates gave a detectable sigh of relief and looked at Peter. He was staring at Wendy, breathing fast and when he flicked his gaze back to the pirates. Some of them ran back in fear. The others seemed hypnotised by his quiet rage. Jaw clenching and teeth grinding he stared and stared at them and she could almost see the whirling mad thoughts that were going through his head. Finally he smiled and his eyes were like two grey stones. It was dreadful. He pushed a hand into his pocket and bent down, placing something by his feet. At first Wendy mistook the pile at his feet for jewels for they were many beautiful colours but as she squinted she could see that they were actually beans. Peter flourished a hand at them and stood back.

"These beans will take you to any world you think of and they're all yours, if you can get across. All you have to do is voice a deep, dark secret." He grinned at them and they shuffled in confusion.

"It's a trick," one of them said and a few 'ayes' went up in agreement.

"No tricks. I actually agree with you, I'd like nothing more then to see you all gone. I never want to see your faces in Neverland again." he said through his teeth before smiling. "And you did manage to sneak into my camp and kidnap Wendy under my nose. Not many people could do that," he admitted but there was no respect for their aptitude.

"A secret you say?"

"Yes, one that you have never voiced aloud. The deeper the better."

One of the pirates stepped forward, eyeing the beans greedily and then spoke. "When I was a boy I tried to drown my sister."

A narrow bridge of rock suddenly appeared, stopping a quarter distance over the drop. The pirate took a step forward gingerly and when he was sure it wasn't going to crumble under him he ran forward. And the other pirates followed suit, all squeezed onto the narrow bridge. They looked at each other, waiting for the next person to speak and started to argue when no one did.

"Come on! Someone must have something to say!"

"Well why don't you bare your soul this time!" the pirate who shared his secret said. Wendy knew he would not speak again, shame was burning on his face.

"Oh for goodness sake. I kept a mermaid in the bowels of the ship," one of them said and more of the bridge appeared.

"You jammy begger!" one of them said and they laughed and made crude jokes. Wendy looked away and at Peter. He was staring at them, the corner of his mouth curled and his eyes shone. He seemed to be anticipating something. Wendy looked back and the pirates were arguing, shouting at the other to share a secret until someone did. Only it wasn't a secret.

"I'm the king of Wonderland!" one of them said, trying to ease the tension but the lie had disastrous consequences. The bridge that lead to their side of the cave fell away and now they were standing on a small, narrow island.

"Look what you've done!" they shouted

"I didn't say anything!" The liar said and more of the rock fell and Wendy gasped.

"Stop!" but they did not hear her.

They shouted at each other and the noise was deafening. As one of them shoved another a man suddenly appeared at the other side of the cave. He was dressed in black and had a hook for a hand.

"What the bloody hell is going on!?"

"Ah, Hook, there you are!" Peter said happily, waving at him from the other side of the cave. "It seems that you have a mutiny on your hands. Eh, hand," he corrected but the pirate ignored him.

"What are you dunderheads doing here?" he shouted and some of them who were not fighting turned. The man in the red hat stared at him, clearly frightened.

"I didn't want to come Captain, they forced me!" More of the rock fell away and Wendy got to her knees, heart in her throat.

"They – they have to say a secret, something true and they'll get across. If they lie..." Wendy fell silent and Hook blinked at her, seeing her for the first time.

"What madness is this? Listen to me you idiots!" he shouted but the ones who were the most angry sneered at him.

"We're done listening to you! Look where it got us! Adventures you promised, riches and eternal youth but you brought us to hell! No man can endure this place forever and I won't any longer!"

"I understand if you're upset, believe me I do but right now you have to work together," he said with forced calm but the pirate shook his head.

"Sorry but I'm done taking orders from you. We want to go home!"

"AYE!" they shouted and to Wendy's horror huge swathes of rock fell away and this time the pirates were not so lucky. The ones nearer the edge stumbled and they grabbed the nearest person next to them but it did no good. With a shriek they fell and took others with them. Bleeding fingers over her mouth Wendy watched, unable to look away. Their screams of terror echoed around the cave and so did sickening thuds as they hit the bottom.

"Sweetheart, don't look down," someone said repeatedly until Wendy looked up at Hook. He was smiling at her but his eyes were blazing.

"They – they fell," tears ran down her face and she blinked. "Is - is this pretend? Are they pretending?" She looked at Peter who stared at her grimly before shaking his head. Wendy gulped, her throat tight with contained sobs and looked across at the now tiny spit of rock.

Only two pirates remained: Smee and Bill Jukes. He was bald and covered in tattoos, an intimidating sight but at that moment he was quivering. Smee was sobbing, red hat over his face and even though he had helped kidnap her Wendy's heart went out to him.

"It – it's all right, don't be frightened," she said gutturally and Peter stared at her incredulously.

"You owe them no comfort, they would both happily see you dead."

"I will not see another person die! I don't care what they've done!" she cried out in distress.

"I would never kill a girl. In fact I've never killed anyone in my life," Smee said, whipping his hat down and to his amazement the rocks reformed, leading half the way back to the pirate captain.

"That's it. Go on Bill," Hook encouraged and the bald man nodded. He voiced a secret and then Smee until they had reached the other side safely. Smee wasted no time and ran from the cave, his sobs echoing around while Jukes stood by Hook's side. He lowered his head and asked for forgiveness.

"We just wanted to get away from this forsaken place. All these years Killain," he said wearily and the captain nodded before motioning for Jukes to leave. Finally it was just Hook, Peter and Wendy left in the cave.

"All right sweetheart?"

"Yes, I – I think so."

"What's your name?"

"Wendy, Wendy Darling," she said shakily and he bowed to her before looking at Peter.

"I presume you need no help in rescuing this lady?" Peter shook his head and Hook pointed down. "I had no part in this," he said flatly.

"I know. However due to their traitorous act it looks like you'll be needing a new crew Killian." He picked up a handful of beans and showed them to Hook. "As a show of no ill will I'll help you to restock. We'll go through the finer details later, if you'll excuse us?" he asked, looking at Wendy who had finally gotten to her feet.

Hook looked between them in uncertainty before withdrawing. "This is no place for an innocent Pan."

Peter ignored him and bent down, eyes only on her. Now alone Wendy gazed desperately at Peter who smiled softly at her.

"And you were having such a nice day," he sighed. "I'm sorry Wendy, I didn't know you were in danger."

"It's not your fault. Do – do I have to voice a secret?"

"Yes and I'm afraid I have to hear. A secret remains that if there's no one else to hear it."

Wendy nodded and dried her tear streaked face with her ripped gown. There were scratches all over her body and her fingers and toes throbbed painfully. She was bone tired and in that moment she wanted nothing more than to go home. She stared at Peter.

"I'm frightened of this place," she whispered and rocks formed before her but not enough to reach him. She licked her lips and stepped forward, arms crossed over her chest tightly.

"And another," he urged gently, seemingly not angry at her confession.

"I – I...I want to go home," she said in a tiny voice and more rocks appeared but only a little. She could have to voice something big for the bridge to arc across to Peter. She inhaled, fists clenching and spoke. "I want to grow up, I want be a mother and have a husband. I – I think, I think I feel..." she trailed off, words caught in her throat and she found it impossible to voice her greatest secret and desire. "I'm sorry, I can't. I don't have anything else but that and I can't say it!"

Seeing that she could not share something that made her so vulnerable Peter suddenly stood forward. "Then I'll come to you."

"Can't you just make it appear for you?"

"It doesn't work that way, not even for me," he balled his fists up and pursed his lips, staring at her intently. It was the same look he had given her when he told her about magic dying. Wendy could see that he was finding it difficult and she shook her head, relenting.

"You don't have to, it's all -"

"I ran away from home," he said suddenly and rocks appeared before his feet. He took a step and stopped. He would need to voice at least two more secrets before he reached her. "I'm...I'm scared of being alone," he gritted out before finally uttering his last secret in a rush "and I don't want you to leave me."

The rocks met and Wendy ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck and he held her tightly.

She shook, the needle vibrating over the button and he folded his hands over hers to make her stop. They were sitting on the bed in her house, candles burning warmly but the horror of the cave was still fresh in her mind. Her night gown was a ruin but she tried to mend it, to take her mind off what happened but it did not help.

"You'll prick yourself," he said and she snorted softly and stretchered out her arms. Long, angry red scratches covered her skin

"I don't think it would go amiss if I did," she sighed and lowered her knitting onto her lap. He sat beside her and she leaned against him comfortably. A day ago she would not have dared done such a thing but a shared death experience can change a person. She felt as close to him as she did to anyone.

He does not want me to leave, she thought with a dazed happiness and could not stop thinking about it. He cares for me too.

"If only I had had some pixie dust with me, I could have flown to you. My Shadow was away too," he grumbled and she looked up at him curiously as he fumbled with something around his neck. It was an empty phial attached to a cord. Wendy touched it gently.

"Is it all gone?"

"Tink had some but not a lot. There's fairy dust, that's easy to get, but pixie dust is far more powerful," he said, gaze unfocused.

"Could it make me fly?" she asked curiously and he smiled, nodding.

"Of course. Just think lovely thoughts and whoosh," he hovered a hand in the air before lowering it. He brushed a strand of hair away from her forehead and she suddenly found it hard to breathe.

"If I could fly I don't think I'd ever come down...Peter?"

"Yes?"

"How long have you been here?"

He shifted against her before answering. "Awhile, I suppose. I can't really remember any more."

"A long time?"

"...Yes."

"But at one time you were lonely?" she remembered his confession. He was scared of being alone but he could only fear it if he had experienced it before. When he did not reply she turned to him. He gazed at her curiously, a little confused.

"You have this strange gift of pulling secrets out of me and I don't mind."

"Mother always says it's a good idea to get things off your chest," she advised and he smiled strangely.

"I wouldn't know...Before the boys were here, before the pirates and Tink there was just me," he explained quietly. "It was like that for a very long time."

"I'm sorry, you must have been very lonely," she looked at him sadly, pained for him. She could only imagine what it would be like if she was completely alone on a strange island with no one to talk to. It would drive her mad.

"At first it was exhilarating, I had the place to myself and no one to tell me what to do. I was free. But yes it was lonely but I wasn't completely without company, which staved off the mad boredom," he said, widening his eyes in mock insanity. Again she had the feeling he could read her mind.

"How?"

"I could visit children in their dreams and bring them here to play but they would leave once they awoke. So I found a way to bring them here for real."

"Your shadow?"

"Exactly!"

"Is it really your shadow?"

"In a Jungian sort of way..."

"What?"

"Nothing," he smirked for a moment and then played with a candle flame. "It's a part of me and nothing can hurt it. Well, almost nothing," he snuffed out the light and turned to her.

"I do hope that my brothers can come soon."

"Of course they can, Bae to," he said graciously and Wendy hugged him. She exhaled, fingers absent-mindedly playing with his hair, and felt contentment for the first time since entering the cave. She drew back a little and gazed at him tenderly, hands on his shoulders and her eyes lowered to his lips and up again. She wanted to kiss him, wanted to pour all her feelings and unsaid words into it and he would know what her secret was. Peter blinked at her, starting to smile when she leaned closer and he leaned back, confused.

"Wendy?"

"Oh! I'm sorry. I eh, I...excuse me!" she said, suddenly in a complete fluster and stood, disposing her knitting on his lap. Face red as the sun she dashed from the house, leaving him to stare after her in bemusement. He picked up a thimble and slipped it onto his finger with a knowing smile.

a.n:

Again I'm so grateful for the amazing response, thank you! I hope you liked this chapter. Peter and Wendy growing closer while she sees the real danger of Neverland. Also I had to have Peter mention Jung as a shout out to people who call him Sigmund Pan lol ;)

Next chapter things get real...