Thank you everyone for your kind reviews and birthday wishes. I had a great day! :) I would also like to apologize for not updating for a few days, but I needed to take some time to myself to get re-inspired. Without further ado, here's the chapter. Enjoy! Also ps shoutout to witchyred for winning the contest... She got to decide that Bella would tell Jasper about her dream!

CHAPTER TEN

Oh, crap. Crap crap crap crap crap. I repeated the mantra in my head for a solid ten minutes, trying to figure out the words to give Jasper. I was already confused enough, and then he mentioned the Major. I struggled to speak, grasping for straws to find the words to stall him.

"I don't know Jasper. Did he tell you anything?" I asked, trying to turn the question on him for information.

His eyes darkened in response. "I try not to let him tell me anything." He said sharply. I winced in response, trying not to be intimidated by this new side of Jasper. I wasn't really afraid, just taken off guard by the emotional intensity of the situation.

My voice barely rose above a whisper, but I knew he would hear me. "Maybe you should let him."

"Bella, do you prefer him over me?" His strained voice concerned me. It was no matter of preference. I understood now that I belonged with both of them, and I wouldn't hurt either of them over the other.

My shock radiated through my response. "Jasper, he's a part of you." I reached for his hair softly, trying to caress him back to sanity.

"No! Don't say that!" He responded loudly, his hold on me tightening. "He's in the past. He doesn't have a place anymore." I could see the war raging in his eyes, and I couldn't tell if he was fighting harder to convince me or himself.

"Jasper," I placed a hand on his chest, willing our connection to work in my favor. "Come back to me." I pleaded. I couldn't have a sensible conversation about my feelings if he was unstable.

He looked down at me and I saw half of his resolve soften. "Bella, you can't trust him. He's a monster. He hurts people." He was crumbling before me, and I couldn't take seeing him in so much angst. "Don't try to tell me we're the same person. I fight so hard to be different. Please tell me you understand, Bella. Please." He all but begged, and I knew he would be in tears if he were a human.

I considered his point of view. I didn't know all the details, but I did know what it was like to want to escape from your past so desperately that you'd do just about anything. I said the only thing I could. "You aren't a monster Jasper."

His voice broke. "Then who am I?"

My confidence faltered, but the Major's words from the previous night came back to me. "I don't ever want you to feel unworthy."

I had promised the Major, and I didn't want to go back on my word so soon. Gathering strength from my subconscious angel, I said the words I knew would complicate the situation even further. "You're Jasper Whitlock, the god of war, and my mate."

I waited, and I waited. And then I waited a little bit more. My angel seemed stunned into silence, and I was nervous to look up at him. I knew that his reaction would determine so many things, and I didn't know if I was ready to face any of them. After several more moments, curiosity overcame my insecurity and I peered up into his face. I was halfway pleased to find a torn smile gracing his lips, while his eyes were closed in a seeming contest between happiness and worry. "Don't push me away. Please." I whimpered. I couldn't stand the thought of walking away from him now. It simply couldn't happen.

At my words, he lowered his eyes and opened them to reveal a heartbreakingly beautiful combination of self-hatred and love. His eyes held the world. There was light, a light that was uncontested by any ray of sunlight that had ever spilled onto my skin. It shone down on me, and solved all of the world's mysteries. There was truth, a truth that made every lie of the earth quiver in fear. It was both tender and maddening. There was hope, a hope that could wake the strongest slumber. It consumed my soul. There was love, the same love that the Major had poured into our kiss. It renewed me, and made me feel more beautiful than I had ever dreamed possible.

But there was also darkness, a darkness that cast a shadow on all of these other splendors and threatened to steal any chance either of us had at salvation.

"Please let me in Jasper."

He broke. Pulling me even tighter into his arms, he buried his head into my shoulder and cried out with tears he could never relieve himself of. "Bella… I can't ever outrun him. I can't get rid of him. He's always there, lurking in the shadows of my mind. Living this way is exhausting." He yelled.

I did the only thing I could do. I held him, caressed him, and I stayed strong while he needed me to be. No words could heal these wounds, so I tried to pour out as much love and support as I could to him.

He drew his head back and looked at me incredulously. "How can you feel such love when you've known him all your life?"

My heart broke for him, and I tried to find the words that would make him understand why I loved every part of him- including the Major. "He has been a constant savior. He's been the only constant thing in my life that hasn't hurt me. He's given me the will to wake up every morning, and the faith to know that someday he would rescue me. And I was right… Because you have rescued me." I touched his face tenderly as his body shook against mine. "Don't hate him Jasper. I love you… All of you." I was conflicted. While I was confident in my feelings, I was suddenly nervous. I had laid every card I had on the table, and there was no way to conceal them from him any longer.

His eyes filled with such intensity that tears filled my eyes. "Isabella Marie Swan," he lowered his face, and his breath tingled on my cheek as his electrifying lips brushed my ear. He paused, and inhaled sharply as he nuzzled his nose to my neck. "How could you have any doubt?"

I opened my mouth to respond, but was unable to find my voice as my head dizzied at his proximity to mine.

"How could you have any doubt that I love you?" His eyes burnt into mine, and the air around us stilled. I quivered, and our faces drew closer, closer, and closer until there was but a centimeter in between. Closer.

Lips met, and I could no longer tell which belonged to me and which belonged to him. I could no longer tell if my heart was beating, and I could no longer tell if there was a world outside. That's probably why I couldn't tell what miserable thing was transpiring in the house with us.

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