"The Black Hand is most pleased with your progress." Danasi couldn't even begin to describe the terrible deed as 'progress'. "From this moment forward you will walk in the shadows as... my Silencer."
Oh, she did. But not without a fight. Killing her own- how had he convinced her to do it? She'd considered walking, but there was nowhere else to go. It had become her home. She hadn't liked what she had become, but it seemed it was her lot in life- death. Whether she liked what he was saying or not, she always listened to him. Her home had been in danger, her guide offering her only one path to save it.
"Your new life has begun."
She'd felt sick, being praised and rewarded for her latest kills. Why her? She'd fought him. She hadn't wanted a promotion, a gift, recognition- she wasn't the Champion any more. Death wasn't glamorous.
So why did she choose to take that new life? Because he broke you, Danasi thought to herself as she sat in the alchemy garden in the Dawnstar Sanctuary. You had no other option, it crippled you, and it made you his.
No, another voice said, you were already his. Without him you were going mad, he made you accept your lot. That acceptance was complete when you agreed to purify the Sanctuary, that was where you chose.
Her fingers trailed through the petals of a Deathbell flower growing in the soil. If only she hadn't tried to poison the wine, her life might have been different... or was it always fate? Lucien hadn't believed in fate. Everyone had choice over their actions, he's said... but there were those who belonged to certain life paths and they usually found their way to them. He'd believed Danasi to belong to the Dark Brotherhood, even if she hadn't. She believed the poison was her mistake, the Oblivion events her ruining, and the Dark Brotherhood the only place she could live out her life as what she had become. But she had wanted to kill the lover, Lucien had said. She believed he deserved to die, just as the people believed those she killed as Champion deserved to die. Who was right? An impossible question. You could only live by your own beliefs, her Speaker had taught. Living by anything else only brings conflict, such as Danasi's issue with the people's celebration of death when dealt by Danasi the Champion but not by Danasi the Vengeful Daughter. Her beliefs would always have guided her to her path and to the Dark Brotherhood, Lucien had said.
She didn't like it but... he made sense. She had wanted to kill the lover. And she came back to finish the job the poison failed. If only it had worked... what then? Mother still alive and able to watch, mortified, as her daughter became a murderer and assassin?
"For a poison to kill swiftly- beautifully- it must be created carefully. The poisonous plant alone may be too weak to kill, and it will most certainly taste foul, alerting the target to foul play. The deadly element of the plant must be extracted, refined, to create a more potent formula capable of killing in only small doses. It must then be disguised or made tasteless, so a target will happily consume the entire dose within their drink or food. The sight of one marked for death greedily swallowing their doom is... satisfying. Such a perfect recipe for death is difficult to create, though, dear child..."
She toyed with the Nightshade, remembering glimpses of Lucien's alchemy advice. She'd never gotten around to creating a perfect poison; why bother when her mother's abuser's death was just as satisfying at the point of a blade? Lucien had laughed at that. Each assassin had their preferred methods, and his protégé was beginning to own hers. Having her accept Sithis into her heart would be his greatest success.
She plucked one of the flowers to keep with her things. Maybe it was not her fate, but just... her.
A discordant humming roused her from her reflections. That... jester, Cicero, was skipping up the stairs and bouncing over to the Night Mother's coffin. She'd managed to avoid a full blown encounter with him so far, just introductions. Close as he seemed to the Night Mother, she was wary of catching his attention.
Unfortunately, today he required use of the garden. "Oh! Need to get flowers for mother... pretty, pretty flowers..." He was rambling to himself as he sashayed across the hall. Danasi remained seated, leaning against the wall, not much feeling like making a quick escape. She waited for him to notice her, twirling the flower in her hands.
"Ah! Sister! Cicero did not see you there! Are you picking flowers for the Night Mother as well? She likes Nightshade... I think... I mean, she hasn't told me, of course, sweet mother never tells poor Cicero anything... obviously, she only speaks to the Listener, of course! As it should be! Cicero only wishes he knew he was bringing the right flowers!"
Danasi paused to see that he was quite finished and responded plainly. "Hello, brother. I'm just enjoying the garden. Nightshade sounds like a good choice, to me."
The jester literally leapt with joy and began to dance on the spot. "Oh, sister is most kind! I will take this Nightshade right here for our Mother now." With barely contained jubilance he gathered some of the plant and shuttled it across to the shrine area, laying it ceremoniously amongst the candles surrounding the ornate stone coffin.
The coffin, somewhere dark, dusty, black robes, nightshade scattered among five small skeletons, the apparition anointing her as Listener... The memory hadn't faded, meeting her second mother. Perhaps she was her true mother, she who said she had claimed Danasi's soul from birth and bestowed upon her the highest honour in the Brotherhood. Her birth mother would have been distraught that she joined the guild of assassins, how would the Night Mother react to her abandoning it?
"Cicero," she called out across the room. The jester bounded over, full of interest. "I understand you were the 'Keeper'?"
"Yes! Yes! I tend to Mother... clean her... oil her... protect her... make sure nobody disrespects her coffin, yes..."
Danasi continued, keeping a straight face despite the unsettling tone he took with those words. "And you did that before? Before you came here?"
The jester's tone dropped, melancholic as he recalled events. "Yes... the Listener died, sweet Alisanne, and we had to save Mother from her crypt, or she would have burned! Cicero was appointed Keeper, to look after our Lady until a new Listener was found, and I would know if they were the true Listener, or a liar, yes! With the Binding Words, I would know!" His crazed tone died again as he continued. "But, there was no Listener, she would not speak... even to me! For so long I tried... so, so long... until everyone was gone. Everyone! Gone! Cyrodiil was ravaged by strife, nowhere was safe, and even Cheydinhal was falling! So I brought mother to the last Sanctuary, in Skyrim. And a new Listener was chosen! Haha! Our Lady is back!"
Danasi ignored the twirl the man was executing to replay his words in her head. So there had been another Listener. She hadn't expected the Brotherhood to halt forever because of her, but it eased her worries somewhat that she was replaced and business continued. She tried to win back the man's attention. "You were at Cheydinhal?"
"Yes! Cicero had to leave Bruma and joined Cheydinhal... it was home!... until everybody died... then it was just Mother and I.. for so, so long..."
"What happened to everybody?" Danasi asked quietly, remembering the Purification.
"They disappeared, one by one... bad contracts, riots, bandits- bandits! An assassin killed by a common rogue in the streets! How sad! Hahahaha!"
Danasi breathed a small sigh of relief and her brow furrowed slightly as she thought of her time at the Cheydinhal Sanctuary. Gone now, apparently. She let Cicero's laughter over a sibling's death slide. The man was mad, after all. All that time alone tending a dead woman he was devoted to who wouldn't speak to him... she wouldn't question whether she wasn't mad, also. "That is sad. I am sorry for what has happened to our Family. But we have a home here now, don't we?" She sympathised with the fellow. She was both trying to offer some comfort and seeking it herself.
"We do, sister! We do! And how wonderful it is!" He turned around suddenly and hurried over to the coffin, muttering to himself again. "Must tend to mother... get all those hard to reach places..."
Danasi extracted herself from the area before being witness to this act, wondering if other members of the Sanctuary observed her with similar hesitancy when they saw her speaking to Lucien's ghost. If this man now had a home here, she could have one also. He had endured much and lost many, albeit going mad in the process, but he remained faithful to his family and it had come through for him. She should have been stronger. She could start now and repay the family, her family.