Before she had been shipped off to boarding school Wendy had graduated up from the Nursery to her own room. Truth be told she was too old to sleep there any more but she had half suspected that her parents, her father in particular, had done so to stem off her influence over her brothers. It was one thing to have your oldest child spouting nonsense but it was quite another to have your other children doing the same. So as if she was something contagious she was sequestered to her own room.
She slept through the afternoon, evening and straight on until the next day, when she awoke late in the morning. As it so often seems to happen she woke in confusion, trying to place her whereabouts and relaxed when she had. She had only spent a few months in her room and she had disliked it immensely but now everything she saw was precious. As she turned her head on the pillow she saw the most precious sight of all.
"You're awake! We weren't sure if you ever would!" Michael said while John nodded, grinning at her. They were sat at the bedside and Wendy wondered if they had been there since she arrived, an event she only had the faintest recollection of. Tears ran down her face as she opened up her arms and hugged them both, though she could not hold them as tightly as she wished. When her brothers sat back, wiping their wet faces, they stared at Wendy anxiously.
"We tried to warn mother and father!" Michael said. "We tried to tell them the truth but they wouldn't believe us!"
"You did get my letter then?" she had never been sure but it seemed Peter made good on his promise as her brothers nodded.
"And the Shadow took our reply back but when we tried to show father your letter we couldn't find it! It simply vanished into thin air!" John said in exasperation and she was not surprised that such a thing happened. Of course Peter would want them to look mad and foolish, with nothing to back up their story. Wendy gazed at John sadly and was struck by how grown up he seemed now. She had been gone for a few months while in Neverland but spent a year in Brighton and she had only seen them sparingly. In that time both of her brothers seemed so much older somehow. She could only imagine the worry they must have endured. She took their hands and gazed at them adoringly.
"I love you both so much and I never forgot you. I said your names everyday, I recalled everything I could!" she said, almost defensively. She had remembered them but she had to fight to do so. Her parents had been the ones most affected by her time in Neverland and she felt a squirming guilt because of it.
"I don't understand, how did you escape? Did the Shadow let you go again? What happened to Bae?" John asked, adjusting the glasses on his nose.
Wendy blinked, mouth open. She could tell them that Baelfire was not in Neverland but as to his whereabouts or well being she could not say. She did not want to add another worry onto their already burdened shoulders. "He escaped! Before I arrived he managed to get off Neverland and I'm sure wherever he is he's doing splendidly!" she said, convincingly rousing and the boys cheered quietly. It wasn't really a lie if she believed it too.
"So you're home for good now? The Shadow will leave us alone?" John asked as the good news about Bae wore off.
"It's not the Shadow we have to worry about, it's Peter," Wendy said grimly and fretted how she would tell them about him when Michael sat up with a frown.
"Your betrothed? We heard Liza talking."
"He is nothing of the kind!" Wendy responded indignantly, fuming that Peter's lie was circulating her house when he wasn't even there to spread it. She turned her irritated face to her brothers who looked confused and startled. They needed to know about Peter, about what happened to her but the prospect was daunting. But she had to tell someone, had to share the truth with the only people who would believe her. "It – it all started one night while I was at boarding school..."
They listened attentively, mostly quiet apart from cries of horror or outrage. They clapped when she told them about tricking Peter and escaping but as she finished her tale John frowned, shaking his head.
"What is it?" She asked.
"I would have left him to drown," he replied ruthlessly. He saw Peter as an opponent, someone who he could fight for his sister's honour but Wendy dreaded the idea.
"I don't want you to have any foolish notions about avenging me, either of you! He may look like a boy but he's not. He's crafty and delights in tormenting others and I have no desire to see any of you on the receiving end of his sick games. Do you understand me?" she asked fiercely, pinning both of them with her eyes and they nodded, bowing their heads.
"Still think I could take a pop at him, I've been taking boxing," John mumbled and Wendy sighed. She had not told them about her entanglement and feelings for Peter, if she had she could only imagine what her brothers would do, as young as they were.
"If anyone is taking pops at him it's me. Maybe a good smack around the head will finish him off," she mused dryly and explained that Peter was sick, which made John and Michael clap again. Wendy winced, thinking of the scene that played out in Peter's hospital room.
"What's wrong?" Michael asked, visions of besting someone in a fight flying through his head.
"When mother and father came to the hospital they talked to Peter and uh, well...he convinced them of something," she uttered, coils of humiliation stirring, and pressed on. "Our parents don't believe what really happened and they probably never will so the most likely scenario that they would believe is – is..." she could not finish, the words stuck in her throat.
"Is what?" they asked.
"Is that I eloped with Peter while at school," she explained in a rush and John looked appalled while Michael was confused.
"What does elope mean?"
"It means to run away with someone," John explained. "Usually two people who love each other but their parents don't approve."
"But you don't love him, do you Wendy?" John asked innocently and Wendy laughed.
"Of course I don't! How absurd!" she was surprised how smooth and easy the lie slipped from her and how they believed it without question. She cleared her throat and sat up straighter. "Mother and father believe him and I've also lead them to because what else can I do?" she asked and her brothers shrugged, looking uneasy.
"I don't like it." Michael whined.
"Neither do I but you have to play along. I want to continue living here and you know how reputation is so important to papa. Peter will carry on with this game for as long as it amuses him I think. I beat him and I know he won't back down until he's won again, so he will not be out of our lives." In fact she had the horrible suspicion that once he was deemed well enough to leave the hospital he would be sent straight home to them. Her mother would do it, she had no doubt.
"This is all just rotten!" John grumbled, balling his fists and Wendy gazed at him intently.
"If you do meet him please just promise me two things? Don't confront him and don't fall for his lies. He may be without magic here but he's no less dangerous. He – he has a way about him," she admitted quietly.
"Who does?" Mary asked as she walked into the room. She smiled happily at Wendy and put her arms around her sons. "Come on you two, give your sister some rest," she said and ushered them out of the room but did not leave with them. She closed the door and turned to Wendy.
"Are you well enough to come down for some tea or should Liza come up with a tray?"
"I'd like to come down," Wendy said and her mother took a night gown and helped Wendy put it on. She was surprised when Mary wrapped her arms about her.
"I know you're not a child any longer but I wish I could just carry you like this everywhere," she said gently, half laughing. "Just to keep you safe."
"I missed you so much," Wendy said and felt a little spike of guilt. She had not missed her mother as much as she should have. Those damn pipes were to blame, she thought and immediately spotted the satchel that she had brought from Neverland with her. The pipes should be in there, though she could not think what use they would be now. It was only afterwards that she realised her oversight.
"We've been back to the hospital, to check up on Peter," Mary said softly, leaning back and Wendy held her breath. "He's better than he was but after some examinations they think that he has a heart condition," she explained very gently and Wendy nodded, trying to act surprised.
"I – I knew something was wrong with him."
"Well he seemed to take it well. In fact he said that he could have told the doctors that and spared them the time. He's quite tenacious, isn't he?" Mary said, bemused and Wendy held her tongue.
"So...what now?"
"Well once he's strong enough, which according to the doctor will be soon, I think it would be best if he stayed here with us."
Wendy knew it was a possibility but she still had to carefully control herself. Biting back her displeasure she tried to smile gratefully. "Is father happy with that arrangement?"
Mary's mouth thinned. "Not at first but he came around. As if we could send a sick person all the way back to some drafty island with no one to take care of him. After Baelfire ran away your father was furious, as you remember. I had to convince him that this is utterly different."
She would never forget the things that Bae had been called and the arguments she had gotten into defending him. "That's why I was...hesitant about returning home mother, I knew father was unlikely to approve or let us stay."
Mary smoothed her hair and down and kissed her forehead. "Do not think too harshly on your father. As I say he's relented and truth be told he seems charmed by Peter already."
"I'm sure he is..." Wendy said faintly as Mary lead her from the room and down stairs to the dining room, lending Wendy a hand. Her father had been to visit Peter and she could only imagine that tales he must have spun him, ones involving crisp bank notes she had no doubt. The curse of having a poor but aspiring bank clerk for a father.
The next few days passed dreamlike, one blending into the next so quick that Wendy barely had time to process them. It was so different to Neverland where there seemed just the right amount of time for whatever Peter had planned. Everything there seemed to last so long but it was never boring, unless you were not under Peter's influence and then time dragged. Those nights in the cave had been the loneliest of Wendy's time on the island and so she focused on the fast pace of London life and tried to relish it.
She feigned weakness to avoid visiting Peter and it worked but soon the act became too much. She was stuck in her room and was only allowed to sit in their small back garden and soon she was starved for exercise. She wanted to go out for walks and if she was strong enough to do that then she was strong enough to see Peter.
"But he'll be home with us soon, won't he?" Wendy asked her father as they took a carriage to the hospital. Her father would call it a waste of money as it was so close but he still seemed worried for her health, as her mother did. They also wanted her in their sights, as if she would disappear when they were not looking.
To run away, she thought ideally. For a moment she imagined going to King's Cross station and catching a train to a place where no one knew who she was or what she had seen. A place where reputation and power hungry boys could not enter, somewhere she could live in peace. An island all to herself, maybe...the carriage bumped over a cobble and she was jerked out of her daydream and immediately felt ashamed of herself. Only cowards run away and it would be useless if she tried anyway, Peter would find her in whatever land or world she ran to, she felt that in her bones.
"Wendy? Are you listening to me?" her father asked as the carriage stopped outside the red bricked hospital.
"Sorry, I was miles away. What were you saying?"
"That it seemed counterproductive to leave him there day after day. He's on the mend and those beds don't come cheap," he said as he helped her down. Wendy paused, eyes growing wide.
"What, we're taking him home with us now?"
"No time like the present," he said briskly and rubbed his hands together before eyeing Wendy gently. "Do you want to wait here? Those stairs can take the puff out of you," he said and tipped his hat to the driver before entering the hospital.
Wendy sat back, worrying over the lace on her sleeve and eyed the horse ahead of her as it stamped the road impatiently. She could tell the driver to go ahead, to make for the nearest station and then she would write and lay out the truth and send it to her parents. But then she would be leaving them at his mercy.
Her desperate thoughts were interrupted when her father appeared with Peter. He was still in his night clothes, with a dressing gown over them, and leaning on her father's arm but he looked a lot better then he had. Catching her eye he smiled at her in delight and she felt a traitorous squeezing of her stomach and found it hard to breathe the closer he got. George opened the door and told Wendy to move over and Peter sat down next to her.
"I'll be upfront with the driver. I'll tell him to take it slow," George said and closed the door.
Left alone with Peter for the first time in days Wendy stared ahead fixedly, fisting her coat over her knees. He gazed at her, head tilted.
"Well, I'm floored by your overjoyed greeting. I'm sure that's the sort of thing your father would expect," he whispered and Wendy clenched her jaw and fisted her hands even harder before she turned to Peter and took his hand.
"I'm happy to see you looking so well," she said stiffly and he rolled his eyes.
"Come on, I know you can do better."
"I will not," she hissed through her teeth but then leaned closer to him when her father looked back. She smiled until he looked away.
"Better," Peter said and laced his fingers through hers. His proximity to her was electric, she was so tense her whole body felt like it was vibrating. Everything he said, every move he made produced a little shock wave through her.
"This is utterly ridiculous," she whispered as he moved his face closer to her. "What can you possibly hope to gain from this charade?"
"I thought you'd be pleased," he said, the corner of his mouth curling at her displeasure. "You could have denied it at any time but you played along. I'm doing this because it's fun and I have to do something to pass the time in this tedious place before I leave."
"So you just like to torment me?"
"I wouldn't do this for just anyone you know," he muttered and then chuckled at her mulish expression. "Come on, you know the alternative would have been worse."
"I don't like lying to them," she said unhappily and he nodded.
"I know but you do it so well," he said with a quiet pride which disgusted Wendy.
"If you're so sure that you're leaving why even bother? This all seems so beneath you, so...ordinary," she countered and he shrugged.
"When in Rome...look I find the prospect of spending even a day here repellent. I do have important things to accomplish but I also have time. I'm patient and I suppose, if I have to, I'd rather spend that time with you."
"How sweet," she uttered sarcastically and he squeezed her hand gently as they approached Bloomsbury Square. She turned to him and stared hard. "This is mad and against all reason but you are about to enter my house and interact with my family. You've already poured your poison into my parents ears but you will not do the same to my brothers," she warned and he cocked an eyebrow, amused.
"I'll be on my best behaviour, though you don't deserve it," he said and she felt a shiver go through her. "That little trick you pulled really could have had unpleasant consequences but luckily I had this," he looked down and pulled something shiny out of his dressing gown pocket.
"Your dagger?"
"It's from Neverland, made from Neverland. If it wasn't you and me would not be having this conversation now," he said, eyeing the house before them. Wendy gazed down, thoughtful. He would be dead if he didn't have the knife, that small connection to the island.
"What – what if you lose it?"
"You better hope I don't," he said, glancing at her sharply and the threat was implicit. She swallowed and bit the inside of her lip. Peter stared at the house with distaste. "I wish we didn't have to go in so soon. I was climbing the walls in that bloody hospital. All those simpering idiots who didn't have a clue."
At this admittance Wendy smiled, feeling vindictive at his unease. As the carriage stopped she leaned forward and called out to her father. "I think Peter is feeling faint. You better put him straight to bed."
She was rewarded with a scathing glare that quickly turned into something unfocused and dreamy when her father opened the carriage door and looked at Peter in alarm. Wendy watched from her seat as Peter was lifted down and helped into the house but her bubbling spite was beset with worry as the full implication of what was happening hit her.
Peter Pan was in her house and no matter what little battles she won she was dealing with an old, sly being that drew pleasure by toying with her. His games would never end but here maybe she had an advantage. This was her home, her island, after all.
Peter was taken to one of their guests bedrooms, one that happened to be the closest to hers. Wendy wanted him as far from her as possible but then she did not want to inflict him on anyone else. As he was placed into bed she hovered by the window as Mary tucked him in. Peter took it with good grace but she could see the way his jaw clenched when her mother turned away.
"We'll bring up something if you're not up to joining us," Mary said kindly and brushed his hair back off his forehead. Peter smiled, a little to forcefully and when Mary walked to the door he looked slightly sick. "Are you coming Wendy?"
"Can I please have a moment alone with him mother? We – we haven't really had the chance to talk since the accident," she said, moving to his side. Mary hesitated, looking between them and Wendy wondered what salacious thoughts were floating in her mind. Her mother was a suffragette but not many of those had their daughter run away and spend months alone with a young man. Wendy could only imagine what her father was thinking, nothing pleasant that was for sure.
"Of course. I'll tell Liza to bring you both up a tray," she said graciously and left them alone, though she kept the door ajar. Once her footfalls had fallen away Wendy turned to Peter who had thrown the covers off and jumped out of bed. He did not move as gracefully or energetically as he once had but he was wound tight.
"I won't spend another second in bed. I've never spent so much time lying on my back! This place makes you slow and thick, it's so boring! No wonder you wanted to leave," he roamed around the room, inspecting the furniture and trinkets.
"I did think that once but I know differently now, thanks to you," she said and he ignored her, picking up a paper weight and bouncing it in his palm before replacing it with a brush. Anything in his grasp looks like a weapon, she thought darkly.
"So then, how shall we spend our time Darling?"
"Don't call me that Pan," she stressed and moved back when he approached her. "I thought the Lost Boys were coming for you?"
"Are they?" he asked, unconcerned as he stopped before her. He was far too close but she did not want to back away any further. This was her house, her territory and she would not give him any more ground.
"That's what you said at the hospital. You said a lot of nonsense actually."
"I expect I did, I was raving according to that harpy of a matron. What else did I say?" he asked, circling her. He eyed Wendy as if he was seeing her for the first time and there was something inappropriate and impertinent about his gaze.
"You – you said that you didn't want to die, that you felt heavy because of the shadow and that you hated this place. You even said you missed me," she replied and he stopped moving and gazed up at her thoughtfully.
"I did. Like I said I wouldn't do this for just anyone. I had a lot of time to think in that awful hospital, surrounded by those sick children and women with delusions of grandeur. I was angry with you, angry that I was back here but then I had a realisation. I'm here for a reason," he said, gazing at her intensely.
"You're here because I brought you here, unfortunately" she said slowly but he shook his head.
"No, I learned long ago that things don't just happen and if you're smart you can see what fate has in store, like lines and destinations on a map. This was a blip, a divergence and it will soon loop back to where it should be but for now I'll make the most it. I'll play this game."
"This isn't a game Peter! This is my life and you've ruined it," she cried out softly, trying to reason with him but he was stubbornly resolved.
"They ruined it Wendy! You're not to blame for what happened, for wanting to get away from this place and really live free. It's those fools and their small mean minds that want to ruin your life. I want the opposite," he said and took her hands, making her heart race.
"Are you so arrogant not to see the part that you have played in this? Yes they think the worse but they didn't keep me trapped."
"You think so now but you'll see. When I leave you'll try to live among them, appease them and everyday you'll feel it tightening around you. They won't care about you, soon they'll just see this odd, ruined woman. They'll smile but they'll only ever see you as an embarrassment, a point of gossip and ridicule. One day, years from now you'll be lonely, worn out and old, dry from the pretence and you'll wish for me."
"Never," she whispered, shaking at his speech. His eyes bore into hers and she could not look away. "If here is a prison then what does that make Neverland?"
"Your home," he said softly. "That's why I'm staying because you're right. What I did was wrong, it was bad form. I tried to trap you like these people will. I'm going to stay here until you see the truth."
"What?" she breathed, her body leaning towards him.
"That you don't belong here. You belong with me," he said earnestly, drawing her closer to him when Liza walked in noisily with their lunch. Wendy sprang away from him but the maid was gaping at them, clearly thinking that she had interrupted an intimate moment.
Which she had.
Peter smiled at the maid, telling her that the food smelled delicious as Wendy sat down in an armchair weakly. She had been so worried for her family, warning her brothers to be cautious of Peter's influence and never thought of herself. Peter was not targeting them, he was going to use his full powers of manipulation and guile until she bent to him, until there came a day when she asked to go back. Only then would he have truly won.
Peter settled the food tray on her lap and sat in an armchair beside hers with a smile. "Come on, eat up. We've got a whole life to plan Darling."
a.n:
Next update in a few days. Thanks for reading/reviewing!