The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga
By Queenie Z
Holy Nayru This Ale Is Delicious
Four of the Legendary Heroes sat at a round table drinking the Ale of the Goddesses. One great thing about being reunited with your other lives in death is that you could all go drinking together as much as you wanted to without ever having to worry about liver failure. Plus, it was the best damn ale any of them had ever tasted.
The newest of the group, the Hero who had awakened the sleeping Princess Zelda in life, laughed raucously. He was the giggly one, the others had discovered, whose thirst for adventure remained just as strong in death as in life. Especially when he was intoxicated. He snorted. "I can't believe you guys! Complaining about how big Death Mountain is? I found my way around it twice."
The Hero of Time, who not only saved two lands but also rewrote history forever, pouted at the former's mocking. He tended to become more sensitive and emotional when under the influence. "Hey, not everyone's got a built-in compass like you!"
The brunette tilted his chair back and snickered. "Heheh! It's not my fault I know Hyrule like the back of my — whoa!" He lost his balance, tipping over in his seat. Yet he took no offense when the others laughed at him; in fact, he joined in, stumbling to get back up and place his chair upright again.
The Hero who had restored both Hyrule and the world of twilight clutched at his stomach when he began to hurt from laughter. "Ahahaha… whew, guys, hey, guys," he waved his arms in the air, trying to get the others' attention. "Speaking of Death Mountain - Goron catching." Yes, it was another one of his crazy, thrill-seeking ideas; his cowboy side only becoming more apparent after ingesting alcohol. "You get a Goron to roll into you, and you try to catch them. It'll be the next big thing!"
The Hero of Time stopped laughing and looked at his future self with genuine concern in his eyes. "But that would hurt! Gorons are big; they'd squash you flat!"
"No they won't. I did it before."
"I don't believe you!"
"But what's a Goron, anyway?" asked the newest Hero.
"A Goron," the former farmhand explained, "is made of rocks. They eat rocks." He scratched his head. "And they are rocks, too… so… um…" He turned to his left, where the Hero who had forged the Master Sword, their senior, was sitting. "Hey, help me out here — "
He was interrupted by a loud snore. The Hero from the sky was already sound asleep, his face firmly planted on the surface of the table. Meanwhile, the newest Hero just started laughing again.