9. Amends
Back pressed up against the door, Akagi keeps half an ear out on the muffled conversation that has been going on in the room for quite some time now.
She scuffles at her feet absently, hugging the filled jar of water in her arms.
It has suddenly turned quiet.
And there's just something about the newfound silence that unnerves her greatly.
So she waits, counting down the seconds— minutes—, gingerly holding her wavering heart between shaky fingers.
But when the silence stretches on— painfully so— and there's absolutely nothing that could suggest some form of movement behind that door, Akagi finds herself unable to hold firm.
Kicking off from the door with a soft sigh, she turns and raises her knuckles.
Then, hesitates.
Because she isn't exactly sure what to expect if she were to step into the room right this very instant.
What would she do if she were to be faced with a crying Kaga and Tosa? How would she react? What is she to say to them? Would it be wiser for her to wait it out a little longer?
For the very first time, Akagi finds herself at a loss.
And it scares her.
But the thought of Kaga— and her want and desire to be that very pillar for her to lean on— gives her strength.
Steeling herself with a breath, Akagi rasps her knuckles against the door— two polite knocks— then pries it open with a quick twist of the brass knob, peeking her head through the crack sheepishly as she tentatively crosses the distance across the room to the older girl by the window sill.
Relief floods her system at the seemingly innocent sight of Tosa, posture prim and back straight with her hands folded neatly over her lap, eyes looking especially distant and glazed over, clearly deep in thoughts.
"Tosa-san,"
The older girl jumps, sharply glancing up and in an instant, that usual airy smile of hers is fixed back in place.
"Ah, Akagi, you're back."
Amber eyes follow closely after her as she places the jar of water by the side table next to the bedside. "I'm sorry for sending you out on such a mundane little errand." A quick glance towards the older girl reveals a pained smile.
"It's alright, I understand," Akagi says, softly, easing herself into the stool beside the older girl as she sends her a small accommodating smile. She peers around curiously. Upon registering the absence of her quiet counterpart, a surge of anxiety— fear and panic— grips at her instantly.
"Where 's Kaga-san?"
"She's gone to wash up a little." Tosa answers, a wistful smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Regaining that faraway look in the eye once more, she releases a long sigh, chuckling ruefully. "As much as she has changed over the years, she's still that precious little crybaby I know and love deep down inside."
Akagi only nods quietly, a relieved breath leaving her parted lips as the tension in her shoulders lets up a little.
True enough, there's that faint sound of running water somewhere in the background.
"I see that whatever happened has affected you as well, Akagi."
At that, Akagi sucks in a tell-tale breath before she could even stop herself.
With thinly-veiled shock, she forces herself to meet the very pair of astute amber eyes before her.
Tosa's stare is unusually intense— uncanny even— and it pierces Akagi deep, tearing through her barbed walls of defense and right into the very core of her soul.
Instinctively, Akagi flinches, dropping her gaze.
Because for the most part, she has been far more guarded than that.
And to think that she would be able to see through her so easily...
An enigmatic smile tilts at Tosa's lips as a light assuring touch falls upon Akagi's clenched fist.
"It's okay, I'm not about to ask you to fill me in on the details."
And then she breathes, long and deep, her eyes turning longingly out of the window and into the distance that overlook the sparkling lights of the city.
"That child, I really can't help but worry for her. Ever since the dropping of my title as heir— what with the main house' sudden shift in focus and expectations towards her— I can only imagine the amount of stress she's under. Especially now that you're all in your final year of high school, and the fact that she's always been so hard on herself."
For the first time that evening, a frown mars Tosa's delicate features. Her forehead wrinkles as she ebbs away from the view of the window. "And then this happens." She sighs, albeit with a light exasperated wave of the hand.
A pause.
And as her gaze falls upon Akagi once more, it softens with a touch of melancholia, tinged with regret.
"Without a doubt, that whole incident has definitely been hard on all of us." Tosa bites at her lips, and there's that look of torment once more. Her frown deepens as the light in her gold amber eyes flickers and dulls. "More so yourself, especially." She adds.
Akagi swallows, her throat going unusually dry.
There's that crushing weight against her chest that threatens to squeeze all of the air out of her and that bitter bile rapidly building up at the back of her throat that makes her feel like choking.
"It's alright," she braves on a smile— the very same placid smile she's so used to slapping on— and ignores the twists and knots in her gut. "I… I'm already used to things like loss."
But despite her strong front, her voice had sounded painfully small.
A soft sigh.
"And this is exactly why I worry for you more… Akagi-chan."
The sudden use of that all-so very familiar affectionate suffix serves as a wrench to Akagi's heart. And it nearly makes her want to give in— to do away with all her pretenses and succumb completely to the inviting security of warmth before her.
But she doesn't.
A delicate hand, with an ever so gentle touch, lays itself upon the side of her face, urging Akagi to look up and she finds pools of beautiful amber shimmering down on her, darting all over her face searchingly.
"I definitely see her in you."
Tosa absently swipes a thumb over her cheek, the ends of her lips curling into a small plaintive smile.
"You're strong, honest. Never the one to back down from a fight. Always working hard and earnestly striving for the very best. "
There's just something about her amber gaze. Something about its soft yearning, so packed with warmth and brimming with unadulterated love and adoration, that makes it all so very heartbreaking.
Because Akagi knows.
For the most part, it isn't exactly directed to her— but at a love that has been lost forever to a tragic accident six years ago.
Instinctively, Akagi reaches up for the trembling hand that is on her cheek and gingerly laces their fingers together, leaning into the older girl's touch in her efforts to hold their two shattered hearts together.
Onee-chan…
In that very instant, there's a near imperceptible shift in Tosa's gaze— the cloud in her eyes disperses into a sudden clarity. Her lips begin to thin, drawing into a straight line.
"You're strong, but please… Akagi-chan, you don't have to try to shoulder everything down by yourself. You're not alone."
"I know," Akagi whispers and briefly closes her eyes.
In that short span of seconds, she finds herself reliving every moment— every smile, every laughter, every touch and embrace— that she holds most dear to her heart, and feels this utmost pleasant warmth blooming through her.
"Not when I have Kaga-san by my side, I'm not."
"I'm glad."
Tosa smiles, positively grins at her, as she drops her hand from her cheek and reaches up to ruffle at her hair affectionately.
"In that case, I'll leave my precious little sister in your hands. Rely on each other much and grow. Together. And time to time, do drop by to visit?" She asks, tilting her head to the side in an all so very innocent gesture that reminds Akagi of Kaga's one too many ways of persuasion against her.
Chuckling, Akagi a fervent nod and grins toothily back at the older girl, topaz eyes ablaze.
"Yes, I will."
Zuikaku sighs, for what must have been the umpteenth time, heedlessly kicking at her legs— or at least her uninjured one— as she mopes about on the bench, watching the balls whiz past her in a blur of blue and yellow.
Despite the flurry of action on the court, her attention is inexplicably drawn to one particular figure, running through the multiple sets of drills like a passing breeze and not even breaking a sweat.
Fuyukawa Kaga.
Instinctively, Zuikaku clicks at her tongue.
Lips twitching into a deep scowl, she feels the initial burn of annoyance bubble within her, teeming, clawing at her like an itch.
From her flawless form, to her impeccable footwork, right up to that amazing physical prowess of hers…
That girl is honestly far too perfect for her own good.
And if only it weren't for that rotten personality of hers…
'My tosses… They're only meant for those whom I feel are competent enough to receive them.'
She would have definitely been someone that Zuikaku looked up to.
'You, on the other hand, are no where close.'
Zuikaku crunches her teeth down onto her lip. Hard.
But as much as she wants to be consumed by the over-brimming burn of contempt and irritation that would no doubt, put her in a searing white flash of rage with every sight and mention of her, she just...
Can't.
Because ultimately, what does consume her is none other than the guilt that stings and cuts her deep, leaving open gashes as painful reminders of her err'.
She knows she can be— no, is— a brat at times.
'Playing pretend all this while… The only reason you're a setter now is because Kaito didn't had a choice at that time!—'
But even brats know when they've gone too far.
'Not when they had their official setter dead, crushed in a bus wreck en route to the preliminaries of the Interhigh, they don't—'
'I said enough!'
Zuikaku winces, replaying through the memories of that fated day as she vividly recalls the way the older girl had looked to her, teeth bared in a half-contained snarl with scorn and anguish pooling in her eyes in the form of unshed tears.
It must have been the most rattled the girl has ever looked.
Dropping her gaze down onto her ankle— that is still throbbing beneath its stifling support— Zuikaku breathes a long, drawn out sigh.
And to make matters worse, there's also that possible off-chance— as kindly pointed out by her dearest older sister, Shoukaku— that Kaga only did what she did, albeit rather harshly, after noticing her straining to get her spikes down during the practice match the other day.
But there's no way that can be true…
Can it?
"What are you doing here, sitting out on the bench?"
Zuikaku jumps, her heart positively jolting out of her chest at the sudden intone of that all-too familiar quiet voice.
Snapping her head up, she is met with cool indifferent ambers, staring down at her coldly as said-girl reaches past her for her water tumbler that is sitting innocently by her side.
"I-I'm sitting out of training till my ankle heals…"
Uncapping her water tumbler, Kaga proceeds to chug down large gulps of water. "I see," she says simply, placing her tumbler aside and wiping off the thin sheen of perspiration gathered on her forehead with the towel slung around her neck.
In the mean time, Zuikaku does her best to not fidget under the weight of her gaze.
There's something mildly confrontational about this whole current situation and Zuikaku finds herself scanning through the scattered crowd on the court for the familiar comforting glint of silver.
But of course, the one time when she needs sister dearest the most, she had to be off to the side, conspiring with the enemy's best friend, all smiles and giggles. Whether or not this is done intentionally, Zuikaku will never know.
"To have your ankle worsen this much overnight, I guess going straight up against Akagi-san was a little too much for you after all."
Glancing back at the older girl in question, Zuikaku notes the way her gaze had lingered on her all braced up ankle, a small frown thinning at her lips.
And it all but pierces her deep with guilt— the words she had blurted out in her spur of anger.
"About yesterday…"
"You don't have to apologize."
"But I—"
"Because I'm not apologizing for what I said either," interjects Kaga quietly, resolutely. Steely ambers bear down on Zuikaku with an intensity that steals the words off her tongue. "While your incompetence is still tolerable to a fair extent. What I cannot absolutely tolerate, is you, jeopardizing the team with your foolish act of recklessness."
Zuikaku flinches, with every word striking home.
Kaga's gaze briefly flickers down to her ankle, then hardens into stygian.
"That ankle of yours, if you really do want to play for our team, you'd ought to do something about it. In the mean time…" She trails off, placing her towel down, all neatly folded up by her water tumbler with a sense of finality, and rises to her feet, not before throwing a look of disdain over her shoulder at the girl with pigtails.
"Try not to get in my way."
Gritting at her teeth, sprained ankle be damned, Zuikaku instinctively shoots right up from her seat, flames of anger stoked and lashing wildly.
There is just something about that girl that grinds her gear so bad. It makes it hard to even be nice or civil towards her.
"As I thought, you really are an obnoxious little—"
"Zuikaku-san, watch out!"
"Tch,"
And it all happens in a blink of an eye.
One second she's just standing there, caught in a mid-turn at the call of her name and the very next second, she's being tackled down onto the ground in a tangle of limbs.
A blur of yellow and blue barely hurtles past overhead, knocking off all contents on the bench in a thundering clatter of noise, with its impact nearly leaving a dent in its wake.
Zuikaku swallows. Hard.
A breath of utter relief leaves her soul, having been merely seconds away from disaster. She grips at her palms that have suddenly gone all cold and clammy, heart thrumming wildly in her chest.
"Are you alright?"
Instantly, Zuikaku stiffens, only to be struck, painfully aware of the face, only inches away from her own, peering down at her.
There's an unusual lack of edge to her quiet voice, Zuikaku notes, and even her amber gaze is missing in its all-too familiar steel, looking a tad softer— gentler— than what Zuikaku is used to.
And for whatever strange reasons, it's making her all so extremely flustered and red in the face.
"A-ah, yes…"
"That's good," murmurs Kaga, breathing an imperceptible sigh— relieved. Pushing off right onto her feet, her eyes are hard and filled with ice once more. "It would have been disastrous if you were to get a facial by any of Hiryuu's spikes."
Patting the dust off her gym uniform, Kaga watches with cool indifferences as Zuikaku clumsily clambers to her feet, cheeks flushed and eyes darting nervously.
She stares the younger girl down appraisingly for a second or two before letting off a huff, turning on her heels.
"Count it on your luck— or my misfortune— that I was here today to get you out of that in one piece. If you'd excuse me, I have training to attend to."
Slumping back onto the mess of a bench, Zuikaku watches dazedly as Kaga departs for the main court, mind evidently still reeling from what had just occurred minutes ago.
Frowning deeply, she wills the remaining last of heat in her cheeks away. Though, she's still unable to quite get that jittery feeling off her entire being.
"I never asked to be saved in the first place…"
"Oh my, Kaga-san, you're back at last."
With her usual placid smile in place, Akagi greets Kaga, albeit a tad too sweetly, as soon as she spots her longtime partner sidling up beside her.
"Isn't that nice that you're finally getting along with Zuikaku-san. Care to share what you guys were busy talking about back there?"
Maybe it's the stiffness to her smile— the way it doesn't exactly reach her eyes—or the hidden frost behind those seemingly shimmering topaz pools, but something tells Kaga that she's currently treading on thin ice.
"It was…" She pauses, choosing her words carefully. "It was nothing."
"Oh?"
Despite Akagi being all smiles, Kaga notes the slight dim in her features.
"Akagi-san, are you… sulking?"
"Maybe…" Akagi murmurs, then proceeds to roll her shoulders flippantly. She shoots Kaga a playful grin, all traces of previous tension lost. "Especially since you've left me all alone by myself for such a loong time." She lilts, with a teasing sparkle in her eyes.
"It hadn't been that long… Akagi-san."
"Well, it certainly was without you around." She throws Kaga a quick wink, grinning crookedly as she jogs past her briskly, leaving said-girl behind with her heart in a flurry and cheeks a flaming hot red.
Kaga sighs, softly, a ghost of a smile tugging at her lips.
"Seriously…"
A/N: Oh god, if anyone's still reading this, I'm so terribly sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I'd honestly wanted to put this up way earlier but alas, shit happens. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this update— a (short) resolution to the whole drama going on in the previous few chapters. The next one would be fluffier. I... guess. A huge thank you for all the faves/follows/reviews. I really appreciate each and every tiny little feedback, it really means much. So yep, see guys soon! Oh, and happy new year!