James,

I know it has been a while since we have talked but I couldn't hold it in any longer, I still love you. I broke up with my boyfriend because every time I was with him all I could think about was you. I know, it's weird, right? Anyways, I never stop thinking about you. I love you more than you would ever know and you are perfect in every way imaginable. It was so wrong for me to break up with you just because you were going into the military. I should have been so proud of you and I am! What you are doing is amazing and I could never do it. It's not fair to either of us to just throw away three years of our lives and love just because I made a stupid mistake and decided I was too good for you when I'm not. You are way better of a person that I could ever imagine being. I hope you can forgive me and we could maybe try to go back to the way we were before you left. I miss you so much babe and I'm never going to stop loving you.

I love you always,

Erin

Kendall let his hand drop to his lap as he looked at the wall in front of him letting what he just read sink in. If it meant nothing to James why did he keep it, though he did keep every letter that he ever had, even the one where this fucking bitch broke up with him in the first place, though Kendall would never understand that?

Kendall was putting the envelope back in its envelope and was about to replace it to its spot in James' bag. "Kendall," the blonde froze, "what are you doing?"

There was no sense in even trying to hide this and why not get this horrible conversation done now. The blonde looked up and saw James standing over him, arms crossed, eyes dark. Logan and Carlos were standing at his sides also looking down at the blonde, though not quite as intimidating.

Kendall stood with the letter still in his hand. "James," He began though he didn't know where to go with it so he just held it out to the brunette who just looked at the letter in his hand like it were a bomb.

"Kendall, I can explain!" James threw his hands out in front of himself and now looked just as defensive as Kendall felt, "That means nothing."

"Did you write back to her?" Kendall asked his confidence and anger growing.

"Yes, I did." James' eyes dropped to the floor as his features went soft as if he were a child who gave up arguing with their parents. Suddenly his eyes shot back up and he looked pissed again, "Why were you though my things? It's one thing to look through them; it's another to read a personal letter."

"James, what did you do?" Kendall's voice dropped an octave in annoyance.

"I wrote her back. Though, I don't have to tell you anything until you tell me why you were reading that."

"I don't want to get hurt, James. That's why!" Kendall replied hoping that if he gave James what he wanted he would get what he wants.

James took a step closer, "I would never hurt you, Kendall," His eyes and voice once again softer.

Kendall shoved the letter into his chest not letting his features soften, "Then open this, tell me what it says." He practically demanded.

"Don't you trust me?" James asked still gentle.

"This will prove it and show me how much I can trust you." Kendall replied, though as soon as the words left his mouth he knew they weren't true. He did trust James and always has. He even told him the night that he gave himself to the other male. He had to fight the urge to shake the thoughts out of his head not wanting to show any weakness.

Before the blonde knew it, he was on the floor holding his cheek where James' fist had just made contact.

"JAMES!" Carlos sand Logan both yelled at as they knelt next to their blonde friend.

Carlos stood and took the still panting James by the wrist and led him out of the building.

"Logan," Kendall started though his voice cracked and he could feel the tears sting the back of his eyes, though not from the physical pain but the emotional pain from James just telling him that he would never hurt him then turn around and do this. There was also the slight shock that was slowly subsiding as he took in what just happened.

"Come on, buddy. Let's stand up." Logan said pulling the nodding blonde to his feet.

He let his fingers graze over the tender spot on his cheek bone, gently wincing at the pressure. "Logan," He tried again this time successful, "He punched me." No shit dumby.

"I know. Carlos is talking to him. He will calm down and be ok." Logan said sitting on the bed that Kendall was now slumped on and rubbing his back.

"Logan, I shouldn't have said that. What was I thinking? I trust James with everything. I guess I was just mad and I didn't want…" He trailed off not knowing what he was planning to say after that then something hit him, "I just want James. And I want him to just me mine and only mine. I love him!" Kendall palmed his chest hoping to relieve some of the emotions pooling there. "I can't lose him, he is everything I want."

Logan just nodded letting the other male let everything out, though he was ranting. When the brunette thought that it was safe to talk he said, "I know, bud. You just gotta give him some space. You know that he doesn't mind you going through his things, he trusts you, though you should have asked him about it instead of reading the letter without his permission. What did it say that upset you so much anyway?"

"It was his ex-girlfriend of fucking three years. She said that she broke up with her boyfriend after James to get back with him because when she was with the other guy all she could think about was James." He threw himself back on the bed letting out a sound that was almost a growl.

Logan lay down next to him on his stomach so that he could see his friend, "Kendall, James hadn't replied to that yet, and if he had then you have no idea what he said. You can't be mad at him until you know what he said to her."

"I know." Kendall said his voice portraying the guilt that was now added to all the emotions gathering in his already tight chest, "I was just mad, and not at James even, I guess his ex for coming back into his life when he was, no is, mine!" He ran his hand over his face before throwing his arm down beside him.

Logan focused on him taking in every emotional detail coming across his face making sure to avoid the bruise that was now forming on his left cheek. "I know, but you have to talk to him, alone."

"What if he tries to hit me again?" Kendall said resisting the urge to touch the bruise.

"Don't think about that. He was made too. I'm sure he didn't mean to. I know he has a raging attitude but if you are honest with him and you don't get mad at him and stay civil than he should to." Logan said in a comforting voice.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

The lights were turned out for about a half hour and Kendall was already in bed facing away from where James would be lying if him and Carlos were back yet, which they weren't. Logan had long fallen asleep even before the lights turned out.

He heard foot steps outside the door and he closed his eyes doing his best to steady his breathing to pretend he was asleep. He didn't want to talk to James, not yet.

He listened as the footsteps went around his bed and he heard James going through his bag. He felt his chest tighten once again as he thought that James was ignoring him, though he didn't move not wanting to give it away that he was still awake. It went silent for a moment before he heard James move closer to him and place his hand on Kendall's hip, he had to force himself to not stiffen up, "I'm so sorry, babe. I will never hurt you again. I hope you can forgive me." James bent forward and kissed Kendall's cheek tightening his grip on the small boy's hip.

"Come on buddy. Let's get ready for bed." Carlos said and with that they left for the bathrooms.