13. The Moon Tonight

Breathing a soft sigh into the darkness, Kaga lies, wide awake as she listens to the slow, unhurried breaths of her fellow teammates around her. An indistinct murmur here and a light snore or so there. A rowdy and rambunctious bunch, they are during the day, but the very second their heads hit the pillow and they're all immediately out like a light.

Though, there'd usually be a strangler here or two, but with Akagi setting the record— all that rumors and speculation— straight during their time in the public bath, it seemed to have given everyone a peace of mind for an easy passage to sleep tonight.

Then again, with that kind of intensive training from Houshou, this is only to be expected.

Even for herself, Kaga could feel her eyelids growing heavy, bearing down with the weights of slumber as the exhaustion from the day's activity quickly begins to catch up to her.

But no, she would not give in. At least, not yet.

Blinking away the drowsy lull of sleep's temptation, Kaga tosses over onto her side, and frowns when she is met with the sight of an empty futon.

Akagi-san…

A quick flash of the time from her phone shows that it's been nearly fifteen minutes since lights out, and Akagi has yet to return from her supposed 'phone call'.

Gently rising from her futon— careful to not jostle the sheets too much, lest she wakes anyone up— Kaga sits herself up gingerly and checks for the time once more.

Seventeen minutes.

She worries at her lip.

The unease in her chest only swells a little more.

Looking to the sliding paper door to the room longingly, Kaga waits, praying— wishing— fervently it would pry right open there and then for Akagi to stealthily creep right in, tiptoeing her way back to the futon beside her just like every other night.

But as a minute, turns into two, then three; and the sliding door still remains perpetually undisturbed with Akagi nowhere in sight, Kaga begins to fret.

She's taking longer than usual, she thinks, fingering a loose thread from her futon nervously.

Should she go check up on her?

But she's in no place to be telling her what she should or should not do.

But it's getting late…

What if something happened?

With an inward sigh, Kaga makes up her mind. Steeling her resolve before she decides to bail, she pushes her futon aside to get up.

"Kaga-san?"

In an instant, Kaga's blood freezes to ice.

The futon to her left rustles slightly as a bundle of messy bed-hair peeks through a tiny opening. A sleepy face peers up at her sleepily, all foggy-eyed and dazed.

"Where are you going?" a voice, thick and heavily laden with sleep, drifts over towards her quietly.

Realizing that it's only Souryuu— the quieter and the least nosey one between the two— Kaga finds herself relaxing, albeit slightly.

"Washroom," she whispers back into the dark softly, mindful to keep her volume low as it is.

Yawning, Souryuu rubs at her eyes sluggishly. "Hurry back then, and be sure to watch your step…" She murmurs, and settles back into her futon, "in the dark…" Voice trailing away into silence, her breathing begins to shallow, slowing as she falls back into slumber.

Sighing softly, Kaga then reaches over to the sleeping girl, tucking her in gingerly as she pulls the futon cover over her smaller frame.

Kaga would never admit this openly, but with her sweet and caring nature, Souryuu has always been one of her favorites— apart from Akagi, of course.

Silently padding over to the door, whilst side-stepping over the sprawled out, awkward sleeping form of her various teammates, Kaga finally makes for her covert exit out of the room, stumbling out into the darkness of the corridor outside.

Now, where could Akagi-san be?

Thankfully, it doesn't take Kaga especially long to find her.

As she rounds a corner she immediately spots the all so very familiar lean frame of Akagi standing by an open window along the corridor.

Features dimly illuminated by the pale moonlight streaming down upon her like a spotlight, Akagi stares, looking absently out of the window. Despite the phone being pressed to her ear, her lips remain unmoving as she stands, stock-still like a marble statue.

And it is only when Kaga nears her, that the forlorn embedded deep in her gaze is brought to her attention, along with the way her lips are primed and her expression grave.

"Akagi-san, what are you—"

Having only noticed Kaga till the very last second, Akagi starts, jolting sharply from her spot by the window.

"Kaga-san!"

And in her fright, she loses her grasp over phone as it slips right past her fingers and down onto floor in a noisy clatter.

Somehow, during her fumble for her phone, Akagi must have accidentally hit the 'speakerphone' function, for the sound of a chillingly familiar voice— one that Kaga hasn't heard since… forever— begins to resound through the empty corridor.

'Hey, this is Amagi! And if you've reached my voicemail, it's more than likely that I'm available right now, but I just can't seem to find my phone at the moment. So if you could please leave a message after the beep, I'd get back to you as soon as I find it. Thanks, bye!'

Staring at the blinking device on the floor, stunned and utterly shell-shocked, Kaga can only gape silently, with her thoughts, all a jumble, and her words failing her completely.

In her desperation, she musters an imploring glance up at Akagi, who looks every bit abashed and pained, a chagrined smile tugging at her lips.

"I guess the cat is out of the bag."

After that apparent shocking revelation in the corridor, they had managed to find a spot out on the balcony to allow their thoughts to settle— for Kaga to make sense of things.

For the longest time, they sit in silence, with the cool night breeze blowing past their faces and the sounds of the waves, down by the beach, attempting to goad something out of them. A word. A sound. Or better yet, a conversation.

But it doesn't come easy.

Countless of thoughts are racing through Kaga's head, zipping by rapidly then petering out into nothingness. It's almost hard to keep track. Everything is a whirl, like a hurricane that has just come and gone, leaving things out of its natural order.

So Akagi has been calling through to Amagi's voicemail every night.

Is this something that surprises Kaga?

Yes.

Probably?

Maybe.

No… If Kaga had seen the signs.

She has always known that the death of Amagi had affected her in more ways than she would ever let on.

Through Akagi's placid smiles and guarded eyes that sometimes hold a tiny sliver of melancholy, the shadow of her sister's death has always been there, hanging over her like an axe— like a painful reminder. And Kaga knows, sees it in her when Akagi doesn't think anyone is watching.

"How long have you…" begins Kaga gingerly in a small, tentative voice.

It's an answer she needs to know. With this… Habit of hers, having not been the case during the previous few summer camps they had together, it must have been a recent development of sorts.

"Slightly before the start of the new year," admits Akagi softly.

Leaning back on her palms on the bench that they are sitting on, she inclines her head up, skywards, pointedly avoiding Kaga's gaze. She swallows, sighing deeply. Shakily. "I had a dream." She whispers.

A beat passes them by as they listen to the crashing of the waves beneath them.

Akagi takes in breath.

"We were in the kitchen— Onee-chan and I— and she was cooking me lunch, like always."

A fond, nostalgic smile crosses her lips as Akagi chuckles wistfully, eyes turning distant, faraway, lost in memories.

"She was working around the stove and I was waiting by the table. We were talking, laughing, joking around. Just having some good ole' fun, y'know? Then, she turned around and I looked up at her face," her smile dies on her lips, tightening into a pursed line, "but all I saw was nothing but a blur."

A brief glance down at Akagi's fingers on the bench, all curled up into tight fists with knuckles turning a deathly shade of white, shows that they're trembling profusely.

"When I woke up, it struck me then," Akagi carries on, albeit unsteadily, her voice teetering on the brink of cracking, "that bit by bit, I'm starting to forget."

She takes in a shuddering breath, and exhales, shoulders quivering. And for the first time since they had entered the balcony, their eyes meet in a clash of amber and topaz.

"I'm forgetting Onee-chan." Akagi whispers, brokenly, more to herself than anything else; an admission that threatens to wreck the very foundation that she carries herself on, as it gradually begins to unravel, falling apart right beneath her feet.

Her eyes, glistening and so filled with tears, are brimming with nothing but pain, anguish and guilt, and it's probably the most vulnerable— most exposed— Kaga has ever seen her in the years that she has known her.

And it absolutely tears her apart to see her like this.

"Akagi-san…"

Unable to help herself, Kaga reaches forth, just as Akagi does so for her at the same time, throwing herself into her arms and burrowing into the crook of her neck while Kaga presses close, arms folding in around her like a safety net, shielding her away from the rest of the world.

She could feel her trembling like a leaf against her skin; her fingers digging in, clutching, clinging desperately onto the fabric around Kaga's chest like a lifeline as she chokes back on a whimper.

"It scares me, you know?" Akagi says, in an awfully small voice, suddenly sounding very young, like a defenseless frightened little child. She huddles closer into Kaga as if starved for warmth. "How now, when I close my eyes, her face draws up a blank and I can hardly even put a voice to her face."

"What is the sound of Onee-chan's laughter? How does she smell right after a shower? What does her hugs feel like? I can't remember anymore."

And this time, her voice does finally crack— a heartrending little sound that crushes a tiny part of Kaga—, a sob tearing right past her lips and into the open like a silent scream. "I can't… I can't, I can't, I can't!" She bawls. "No matter how hard I try, I just can't remember!"

Arching back ever so slightly to peer up at Kaga, topaz-colored irises shimmering, spilling with slow desolate tears that trickle down her face in thin spindly rivulets, she had looked so heartbroken then, so completely exhausted and tired, that Kaga had half the mind to just gather her up into her arms and steal her away into the night.

Just to make the pain go away.

"Why can't I remember?" She weeps, crying silent tears as she works her lip between her teeth to stop its quivering. "Six years without seeing her face. Six years without hearing her voice…" She sucks in a breath, burying her face into her hands, in her effort to stifle a sob that irrevocably wrecks her, to no avail. "I just… I miss her so much."

Moving on sheer instinct, Kaga mutely draws in, tightening her hold over the crying girl in a sweeping protective motion. Tenderly, she presses a kiss to her temple, then another into her hair, before tucking her away snugly under her chin, gently rubbing circles down her back; all in hopes that what little warmth and solace she could offer is enough to soothe her. Even in the slightest bit.

Every sob and whimper is like a wrench to Kaga's heart, and each time Akagi cries a little harder, it only cuts her a little deeper inside.

Everyone has their demons, and Akagi has hers. It might have been years since that incident, but the grief over her sister's death is one that is ever present, suppressed through the years, hidden and buried beneath the layers of false smiles and pride; and the tears she has shed— bled— in the current still of the night is something most overdue.

Inwardly, Kaga wonders just how is she even able to hold up like this for so long. With her knees all battered and weak, and the weight of the world and her sister's death riding on her narrow shoulders. How did she not break?

And so, Kaga holds her through it all. Through the weak thumps and balling of fists against her shoulders. Through the howls and the bawls that soak through the cloth of her shirt. She holds her till her sobbing finally subsides, reduced into sniffles— into mere hiccups and coughs.

"I don't want to forget… I can't forget." Akagi whispers, once her quivering has stilled, voice raspy and warbling with emotion as she leans heavily into Kaga, drained.

She nuzzles into the slant of Kaga's neck, breathing in deeply. "She was all I had, ever since our parents' death. And if I forget…" A shudder. "Then I'll be no better than being all alone in this world, having no one, but myself." She mumbles, sniffling quietly to herself.

With that final confession left, hanging, ringing painfully in the air, Kaga couldn't draw herself back quickly enough, her hands instinctively reaching for the sides of Akagi's face as she holds her delicately— like a piece of fragile glass— with every ounce of gentleness found in her entire being, leveling their gazes up at one another.

"You're not alone, Akagi-san. You never were." Kaga says, resolutely, a fire burning in her eyes. "You have Houshou-san who loves you very much, who treats you dearly like her own daughter. And you've got the rest of the entire team behind you..."

Thumbing away at her blotched skin, lain silver from the tear-tracks glistening under the pale moonlight, Kaga leans in, pressing their foreheads together, noses brushing in an almost intimate gesture.

"And you have me. You always will. And I promise never to forsake you, no matter the consequence. Because we are a family."

Smiling a small watery smile back down at Akagi, Kaga kisses away a lone tear that somehow manages to slither down the smooth expanse of her cheek.

"And even if you do completely forget Amagi-san's face or her voice one day, your memories with her, they will never disappear. They will forever remain here," says Kaga, resting a hand to Akagi's chest, over the pulsing organ that is thrumming with life beneath her fingertips, "in your heart."

"Kaga-san…" A choked breath. But Kaga doesn't get to see the end of it— the second bout of tears that quickly follows after— as Akagi drapes her arms over her, falling close.

"Everything will be alright. Trust me," Kaga murmurs, carefully running a hand through silky dark locks. "It'll be alright."

The arms over her tighten, squeezing at her, almost painfully so, but Kaga doesn't mind it in the very least as she it takes it all in stride; closing her eyes to the warmth that engulfs her, and the faint sweetness of Akagi's hair that tickles her face.

"Thank you, Kaga-san," she hears her whisper faintly into her ear, lips moving hotly against the pale of her neck. "Thank you." Akagi murmurs once more, planting a kiss against the side of her jaw firmly, then lays herself squarely against her in a tangle of limbs.

All is calm and quiet for moment, aside from the whistling of the passing breeze and their breathing, soft and slow, in the dark of the night. A blanket of peace falls upon them, and it briefly washes away the melancholy in the air— and the tension in their hearts— as Kaga takes pleasure in reveling in the moment. Of the contrasting heat held up pleasantly against her and the chill that is brought on by the night breeze, creeping down her spine.

It is only a little after, that she notices Akagi has finally stopped in her trembling, and is now tracing idle circles over the purchase of skin on side of her arm, albeit pensively.

"Kaga-san," She says, steadily now, though a little scratchy from all the crying earlier. There's a tiny hint of hesitation in her that makes Kaga listen just a little harder; closer. The fingers on her arm come to a standstill, and it trembles ever so imperceptibly.

"The moon is really beautiful tonight."

It's an odd remark that's slightly out of the blue, and strangely so, when made with her back turned towards the expanse of the sky above them, but it doesn't stop Kaga from looking.

Kaga blinks, glancing up into starry night sky, where true enough, the moon hangs overhead, clear and bright, and shining in all its brilliance in the darkness— in a way that causes Kaga to catch her breath.

"Yes. Yes, it is, Akagi-san."

A/N: Am I back quick enough for this update? :P I hope so, haha. Don't say I didn't warn you about the angst, but I did try my best to squeeze in some... sweet AKKG moments. Like that one reference with the moon and all. ;) Anyway, we'll be having some middle-school Akagi and Kaga in the next chapter, so do stay tuned~

Huge thanks to sushimiyuu for being my beta once again. And to those who had reviewed/faved/alerted this fic, you have a piece of my heart with you. :p And I'll be back in a week or two, so see you soon!