AN/ Sorry I thought i'd already posted this chapter because i'd uploaded it to the site already! The next one will be out really soon now lol. Typical dumb blonde.
PLEASE READ: I'm not a review whore, even though I do love receiving all the wonderful feedback. But could everyone that has either favorited and followed this story please make sure to vote on my poll? It's important that I know what the majority of readers want, so that I can try to please as many of you as possible.
Disclaimer: I don't own glee or Harry Potter, bullshit etcetera and all that jazz.
Finally, the day had arrived. After countless hours of gruelling preparation and rehearsal, it was time for Sectionals. The first step on their path to Nationals in New York. With this hurdle they'd not only gain another trophy for the club, but also be that little bit closer to their rematch with Vocal Adrenaline. They were ready to give it their all...or most of them were at least.
''We're fucked! And I don't mean in the fun way.'' Santana groused. She'd finally scored herself a kick ass competition solo and they were going to lose anyway, no matter how awesome she was. It was such a drag.
''I wouldn't say that we're fucked.'' Harry quickly reassured her. ''If anything we're just a little bit screwed.''
''Who cares what we are? Either way we're bent over a barrel and it's totally your fault!'' The girl accused him.
''My fault? You were driving!'' Harry refuted.
''No I wasn't, you crazy jackass!'' Santana denied.
The British teen paused at that accusation. ''Okay you've got me there, but it still wasn't my fault. Brittany was distracting me.'' He insisted.
The majority of New Directions, had been watching the deadly duo argue for the last fifteen minutes and they still didn't know what they were fighting about. They'd been their usual confident selves until they'd arrived at the venue for Sectionals. Shortly after they'd gotten off of the coach and made their way to the green room, the two of them had just started freaking out. Artie finally had the courage to assuage the groups curiosity.
''Um guys, what exactly is the problem here?'' He questioned them, the others eagerly nodded along with his words, wanting to know what had the pair so on edge.
Santana shot Harry a scathing look, prompting a sigh of exasperation from the boy in question. He actually looked awkward and slightly guilty about whatever he was about to say, which sent alarm bells ringing in the assembled teenagers minds.
''You know how Santana and I had a little mishap this morning?'' Harry asked, directing the question to Puck. The other boy nodded, looking mildly amused.
''Oh yeah! I can't believe that you guys ran over a dog, that's just mean.'' Puck told them, ignoring the fact that Santana was flipping him off.
''You hit a puppy?'' Rachel demanded, looking absolutely mortified.
''It was an accident!'' Harry swiftly defended. ''Besides, that isn't really the problem.''
''So what is the problem? I can't imagine that you guys are that worried about a dog.'' Tina piped up sceptically.
''We're not.'' Santana quickly agreed. ''The problem is that we waited with the dog until it's owner arrived to collect it.'' The others all glanced at each other, exchanging looks of bewilderment.
''And that's a problem because...'' Mercedes prompted them.
''Because the owner might, kind of, be one of our judges?'' The Latina answered with unusual hesitance.
''You ran over the judges dog?'' Sam blurted out incredulously.
Harry nodded, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. ''Yep my bad.''
''That's not so terrible though right? I mean it was an accident, wasn't it? The judge can't hold it against you.'' Mike pointed out. Harry and Santana shuffled about, looking distinctly uncomfortable. ''You did do it accidentally right?'' He begged them.
''Ofcourse we did!'' Harry confirmed indignantly. ''I can't believe you'd even have to ask.''
''So what's the problem then? The dog's okay isn't it?'' Rachel asked pleadingly, as she no doubt pictured the animal suffering and heavily bandaged..
''The dog's fine Berry, don't twist your pantihose over it.'' Santana dismissed.
''So what's the big deal? You two are freaking us out...more than usual.'' Puck spoke up. He wasn't sure why they were both acting so weird, but it was deeply unsettling. The self proclaimed badass was sure that he was missing something important.
''Well...the story makes a lot more sense if you take the word 'dog' and replace it with 'wife'.'' Harry explained cautiously. It took a moment for them all to understand his meaning, but once they did everyone tried speaking at once.
''You ran over the judges wife?'' Rachel shrieked.
''Well that's that then, we're boned.'' Artie said despairingly.
''Maybe we can beg for mercy?'' Finn wondered thoughtfully.
''Let's just say it was Harry's fault, they can't blame the rest of us for his idiocy.'' Quinn told them sharply, prompting the others to look at her.
''Bite me Fabray, you can't compete without twelve members so you need me whether you like it or not.'' Harry sneered. This was ofcourse a good point.
''Then what are we going to do?'' Brittany asked him softly. Her eye were wide with disappointment, and the look instantly fired Harry's resolve.
''Don't worry Brit.'' Harry soothed, running his fingers through her blonde locks. ''I'll take care of it.'' He assured her.
''Okay then.'' she accepted, cheering up immediately. Santana smiled softly at the blonde's complete faith in the boy, sometimes she really envied Brittany's simplicity.
''Do you want to borrow Artie's magic comb? It might help you.'' Brittany offered him, pulling the item out of her pocket. Harry shot the boy in the wheelchair a look of bewilderment, but decided to ask about it later.
''That's okay sweetheart, i'm a wizard remember? I don't need a magic comb.'' Harry told her. She nodded in realisation, having completely forgotten about her friends mystical powers. The dark haired boy patted her once more on the head, before abruptly striding towards the exit.
''Where are you going?'' Santana questioned him suspiciously. Harry turned as he reached the door and tipped her a wink.
''I'll be back soon. I'm just going to ensure that we'll be judged fairly.'' He told her innocently. As he breezed out of the room the rest of the group decided that for once they really didn't want to know what he was up to, as long as they still had a shot at Sectionals then it was fine.
''That judge is going to be joining his wife in the accident and emergency ward isn't he?'' Artie casually stated.
Upon leaving the rest of the glee club in the green room, Harry quickly realised a flaw in his plan. He'd initially decided to track down the judge and either bribe, blackmail or threaten him. It was a difficult decision to make. Maybe he could use sexual bribery and then blackmail him with it? No, that was too tame. He required a plan far more excessive and convoluted. A scheme that was so circuitous and over the top, that by the time it was over everyone involved would be either dead, insane or spiritually violated. It was whilst he was thinking of the available options that he realised he had no idea where he was going. This led him to using a tried and tested method of finding a destination 'If you can't find the path, then make your own.'.
Harry approached the nearest door and carelessly kicked it open, causing it to slam against the wall with a bang. Finding a janitors closet was not what he had in mind and so he proceeded to try the next room. He continued along the corridor in this manner, checking each room systematically. Behind the next door he found a storage room, stacked high with extra chairs and a number of tables. In the room after that he kicked the door completely off of it's hinges, the group of elderly people within didn't even seem to notice his violent entrance and so he quickly left to continue his noble quest to find and manipulate a show choir official. As he approached the next door he heard voices through the wood, which made him perk up in anticipation. At last the judge was within his grasp!
''Entry!'' Harry bellowed, charging towards the door and executing a flying kick. The barrier might as well of been made of toothpicks given how much resistance it provided. As his foot made contact with the wood, a sharp cracking noise filled the air. Instead of the door flying open, his leg had instead pierced a hole straight though it. The noise inside the room shifted from the indistinct mumbles of casual conversation and was replaced by yelps of shock, as his limb suddenly burst through the entrance to the occupants sanctuary.
''Well fuck.'' Harry blinked in surprise. He'd never failed quite so spectacularly at opening a door, thank Lucifer that Sue wasn't there to see him. Tensing his muscles, he attempted to wrench himself free, but found his leg thoroughly stuck. Tugging on his entrapped limb, yielded no results towards trying to extricate himself and he was fairly certain that he now had a few splinters.
''Is everything okay?'' Someone shouted through the door, sounding panicked.
''Yeah, everything's five by five.'' Harry yelled back. He began to consider the best way to get loose and was thus far unsure of how to do so, without the judicious use of dynamite.
''Are you stuck?'' The voice called out again.
''No, i'm just hanging out and contemplating the mysteries of this universe, that I happen to be the centre of.'' Harry snapped sarcastically. The people in the room hesitated before answering him and Harry growled when he felt one of them touching his foot.
''Uh, can I open the door without hurting you?'' One of the rooms occupants queried hesitantly.
''Probably. I'll just hop forwards a little bit whilst you pull on it.'' Harry proposed. The person on the other side chuckled and began slowly easing the door open, Harry hopped forwards on his free leg as he was dragged along with it. It stopped after inching open enough for a person to fit through the gap. A familiar head with meticulously gelled dark hair popped around the wood to peer at him curiously and widened at the sight of his position.
''Harry?'' Blaine blurted in shock.
''Blaine.'' Harry nodded, calmly acknowledging him. He was looking surprisingly casual, considering that his limb was buried through a panel of wood, whilst being held up well above his waist height.
''I probably should have guessed it was you.'' The Warbler observed with a sigh.
''Is everything okay Blaine?'' A high pitched voice demanded. The dark haired Warbler was blocking the gap in the door, preventing anyone else from seeing out.
''Everything's fine.'' He smoothly assured the others in the room. ''I'll be back in a sec.'' Blaine quickly stepped out into the hallway and started pulling the door closed, forcing a disgruntled Harry to start hopping backwards with it.
''Are you sure you don't need any help?'' The other person shouted again, just as the door closed again. Harry thought it was a girl speaking, but he was fairly certain that Dalton Academy was an all boys school.
''Yeah, I can handle it Kurt.'' Blaine told him, raising his voice to be heard more clearly. Kurt? Wasn't that the former McKinley student that was so flaming he was on the verge of igniting the planets atmosphere? He had to wonder how that kid ever managed to stand in a room with Will Schuester, excessive use of hair products plus flaming homo seemed like a fire hazard waiting to happen. Blaine turned back to him, his face showing a mixture of amusement and concern, so Harry decided to take advantage of the situation.
''So you found me trapped with my leg raised and instantly made sure you were alone with me?'' Harry taunted teasingly.
''Well I thought that since you shoved yourself through our wood, that maybe I should shove my wood in your-'' Blaine began to say, before Harry's loud laughter cut him off.
''Oh my god, I can't believe that you just said something that dirty, I thoroughly approve!'' Harry crowed. And he really did. Who knew that Warbler boy could be such a dirty fucker? This revelation presented a number of very interesting and filthy thoughts.
Blaine could barely believe he'd just said that either. He was a teenage boy and prone to joking around, but he was usually more polite and composed around people that he didn't know that well. Harry didn't seem to mind though, in fact he looked extremely pleased. Luckily Blaine had closed the door so that it couldn't swing open while Harry was attached to it, because otherwise his fellow Warblers would've heard that. Unknown to him, the hole around Harry's leg made it much easier for the curious Warblers on the other side of the door to listen to their conversation.
''So how are we going to do this?'' Blaine wondered, thoughtfully eyeing the other boy's predicament.
''I'm not sure, but it's going to be nearly impossible to get my pants off in this position.'' Harry pointed out flirtatiously. It was Blaine's turn to laugh, though it was accompanied by a slight blush from the comment.
''I meant how are we going to get you out of the door?'' He swiftly corrected, causing Harry to pout in disappointment. ''How did this happen anyway?'' Blaine continued.
''I was trying to open the door.'' Harry answered simply.
''You do realise that it's more traditional to turn the door handle? Or if someone's inside you could always knock.'' Blaine joked, causing the trapped boy looked at him in confusion.
''Knock?'' The Brit repeated, as though testing an unfamiliar word.
''Yeah, if someone's in a room with a closed door you knock for them to let you in, out of courtesy for their privacy.'' Blaine told him, finding the other boy's confusion strange and kind of adorable.
''Privacy? But what if I want to see what they're doing?'' Harry demanded, as Blaine began inspecting the door where his leg had gone through.
''Then you ask for permission anyway, because it's the nice thing to do.'' The Warbler told him slowly.
''Huh...you're kind of weird.'' Harry decided, eyeing him thoughtfully. Blaine chuckled at that little announcement, finding it highly ironic.
''Good weird or bad weird?'' Blaine asked, taking hold of Harry's calf in a gentle grip.
''Good weird.'' Harry assured him. ''But if you wanted to be bad weird, then you could always move your hand a little higher up my thigh and tighten your grip.''
''I thought I'd save that for after the Warblers victory party, which I was just about to invite you to for that first date you mentioned before.'' Blaine said, smiling charmingly. Harry raised a sceptical eyebrow.
''Sadly i'll have to refuse the invitation, on the grounds that you need to win in order to have a victory party. But you can come to my place with the rest of New Directions later, after we've wiped the floor with you.'' Harry retorted mockingly.
Blaine grinned and jabbed the other boy in the ribs, making him squeal. He made a mental note to remember that Harry was ticklish. The Warbler then moved around so that he was standing behind the other boy and wrapped his arms around his waist. Harry smirked at the position and leaned backwards against Blaine's chest.
''I thought that we agreed that I couldn't get my pants off in this position?'' Harry murmured huskily. He turned his head to look over his shoulder, bringing their faces closer together.
''We did. The new plan is for me to pull you.'' Blaine muttered back, his breath tickling against the back of Harry's neck.
''In England saying that you're going to 'pull' someone, means something completely different.'' Harry informed him amusedly.
''I'll keep that in mind.'' Blaine promised. ''Okay i'm going to pull you on the count of three.'' He cautioned.
''Wanky.'' Harry purred.
''Behave.'' Blaine chided him, adjusting his grip on the other teens midriff. ''Okay...one, two, three!'' With a hard tug and the sound of splintering wood, Harry was wrenched free of the door, sending him and Blaine stumbling to the ground. They lay there for a moment blinking stupidly before bursting out laughing. Harry rolled over, propping his chin on Blaine's impressively firm stomach.
''So...since we're already down, do ya wanna get dirty?'' The Brit asked, waggling his eyebrows.
''Shouldn't I know something about you other than your name first?'' Blaine wondered, his chest rumbling beneath the other boy as he chuckled.
''My favourite colour is green.'' Harry informed him, his tone completely deadpan as he slid up Blaine's body to straddle him. ''Is that enough info?''
Blaine made a show of thinking about it, which was extremely difficult with Harry sitting on his groin. ''What's your favourite movie?'' He finally asked. ''That's not a porno!'' He quickly added when Harry opened his mouth to answer. The English boy pouted before giving the question some thought.
''Hocus Pocus.'' Harry answered, a slight smile of nostalgia curling his lips.
''The Disney movie?'' Blaine exclaimed delightedly.
''Disney is awesome, anyone who disagrees can go and fornicate themselves with a railroad spike.'' Harry asserted viciously.
''That's adorable.'' Blaine told him sarcastically. Because really, a railroad spike? That was kind of twisted, no matter how cute the Disney thing was.
''Most of what I do generally is.'' Harry agreed.
At that moment one of the stage crew walked passed, staring at them laying on the floor in the middle of the hallway. ''What are you looking at thunder thighs? Every moment you spend staring like a moron, is time you could be using to vomit into a toilet bowel in hopes of reducing the size of your colossal backside!'' Harry snarled.
Watching the woman burst into tears and quickly flee, made Blaine ponder whether the other boy was bipolar or something. Either that or he hated being stared at. But he was straddling another boy in the middle of a public corridor, so he probably should of expected it.
''Oh crap, It's time for those pensioners to screech at us!'' Harry exclaimed, staring at his watch in dismay. Blaine's eyes widened at that bit of information.
''I'd better get back in there, Wes will want to talk to us before we take our seats in the audience.'' The Warbler said apologetically.
''That's cool.'' Harry told him. ''I should get back to my swarm of misshapen minions anyway. They need a firm hand and a scathing tongue to keep them in line, and Santana will probably exhaust her insults for the day if I leave them alone for much longer.''
Blaine grinned and sat up, with Harry still in his lap. The other boy eyed him and his wide smile suspiciously. Apparently his caution was warranted, as the Warbler chose that moment to slide his hands up Harry's ribs and begin tickling him. The green eyed boy tried desperately to stifle his undignified squeals, but to no avail. He mentally cursed Blaine for discovering his one weakness. Harry had long since discovered a vaccine to prevent bullet wounds, but he had yet to find a way to deal with his ticklishness.
''S-stop! I'm gonna die!'' Harry howled, wriggling in the other boy's lap.
''Make me.'' Blaine challenged smugly. The loud clearing of someone's throat brought an end to Blaine's ministrations and the pair on the floor turned simultaneously to find the entirety of the Warblers crammed into the doorway of their green room, watching them intently.
''How long have you guys been standing there?'' Blaine asked tentatively.
''Pretty much since you guys hit the floor. The sheer cuteness that you just displayed was almost gag worthy.'' David brightly informed him, as the two of them got back onto their feet.
''Did you just call me cute?'' Harry hissed menacingly.
''No master!'' David quickly blurted, his eyes wide.
''Damn right.'' Harry asserted.
The Warblers were apparently very easy to train. Perhaps he should turn them into a private harem? Many of them were aesthetically pleasing, and he was sure that Satan and Angelcake would enjoy having new toys to play with. Although he might have to keep one or two for his personal use. Glancing at Blaine, who was now being mercilessly teased by his team mates, Harry amended that thought to keeping just one for his personal use.
''Blaine!'' A shrill voice snapped, interrupting the other Warblers good natured banter. Kurt stomped forward and began brushing imaginary dust from the soloist's uniform. ''What were you thinking? Your uniform is filthy now.'' The effeminate boy chastised.
Harry was pretty sure he could smell an unrequited crush, which had the potential to be highly amusing if he had his way.
''Aww it's not Blaine's fault.'' Harry cooed, stepping as close as possible to the dark haired Warbler and looping an arm around his neck. ''I was bound to straddle him in public eventually, and it'll no doubt happen again. I mean look how hot he is!'' He pointed out, gesturing at Blaine from head to toe. ''Don't you think he's hot Kirk?'' Harry asked the former New Directions member innocently.
''My name is Kurt!'' The fashionista corrected peevishly.
''Yes yes.'' Harry soothed, waving a hand dismissively at the unimportance of a mere name. ''But you didn't answer my question, don't you think Blaine's hot?'' He repeated tauntingly.
Kurt faltered, whilst somehow managing to look both pissed off and highly embarrassed. Harry was tempted to pinch his cheek, but something told him that the other boy was a biter.
''So you don't think that Blaine's hot? Well I guess that gorgeous isn't everyone's type, to each their own I suppose.'' Harry said, when no answer was forthcoming. Kurt sputtered indignantly at the insinuation, but Harry was no longer paying attention, he was far more interested in the fact the Blaine's blush apparently extended down his throat. As far as necks went, it was a very nice one.
''Well I'd better be hitting the old dusty trail.'' The Brit declared, stretching out his recently trapped leg. ''Bye bye Blaine.'' Harry chirped. Reaching out he gently tipped the stunned boy's head to the side and leaned forwards, licking a hot stripe along his jugular vein. The Warblers gaped at him as he pulled away from their soloist, licking his lips lasciviously.
''I hope you can make it to our victory bash later, feel free to bring your little friends if you want.'' Harry called as he practically skipped away down the hallway and around the corner out of sight.
Blaine watched him go with a slightly dazed expression, not even hearing his team mates speaking to him.
''Blaine!'' Kurt's shriek snapped him out of his reverie and brought him crashing back to reality. He turned to look at the pale skinned boy with a questioning expression.
''Yes Kurt?'' He inquired dazedly.
''Wesley suggested that we go and take our seats. What were you thinking about, that you didn't hear us talking to you?'' Kurt demanded suspiciously.
''Probably that Harry dudes ass.'' Flint bluntly suggested, causing Blaine to blush and the others to stare at him, only to find that he along with Nick and Jeff were still looking at the spot where Harry had vanished with their heads cocked curiously to the side.
''That backside should probably be illegal.'' Nick agreed, before turning to glare childishly at Blaine. ''You lucky bastard, I actually hate you a little bit right now.'' He told him grouchily.
''You really think he likes me?'' Blaine asked them hopefully. Surprisingly it was Wes that answered him.
''You just exchanged filthy innuendo before being straddled and licked, all within the space of a few minutes, I'm sure he's not interested in you at all.'' The Asian boy said dryly, his tone dripping with sarcasm.
''I'm sorry that you won't be able to go to the New Directions celebration, but we're going to be winning this thing, so they probably won't be having one.'' David chipped in, looking confidant. ''But you can still ask him to ours. That way we can keep an eye on our wittle Blainey bear during his date.'' The dark skinned boy cooed mockingly.
Before Blaine could retort he found both senior councilmen dragging him towards the auditorium, bombarding him with last minute pointers for their performance. By then though he was hardly paying attention, as his thoughts were far more focussed on a pair of excessively green eyes and whether or not he might have a new favourite colour.
''Okay guys, are we ready for this?'' Finn questioned the assembled New Directions members. They were gathered back stage for their imminent performance, and after watching the Warblers in action they knew they'd have to give it their all if they wanted to win.
''Are you trying to give us a pep talk?'' Santana asked him incredulously.
''Well yeah, i'm the leader after all.'' Finn reminded her, blinking cluelessly. The cheerleader scoffed disdainfully at him and took a sip from her water bottle, not even wanting to dignify that with a scathing remark.
''Why the hell would we follow your leadership? I'm pretty sure that you can't even count to twenty one unless you're naked.'' Harry sneered, causing Santana to choke on her water and spit it over Rachel's shoes as she cackled. Apparently Finn didn't really get the joke though.
''Why would I be doing maths naked?'' The lanky teen asked sounding completely bewildered.
Harry's eye twitched, as he forcibly restrained himself from punishing the boy for his stupidity. Plus he didn't get his jokes which was practically blasphemy or something. Luckily for Finn he was rescued by Puck's intervention.
''Come on Harry, we'd better get into position.'' Puck told him as he gently gripped his arm and lead him to the doors at the back of the audience.
''Alright.'' Harry agreed simply with a focussed expression on his face.
''Seriously? I just told you that we'd better get into position, are you really going to let that go without a dirty comment? Are you feeling okay?'' Puck asked him, sounding genuinely concerned.
''I'm fine Noah. But it's competition time, and I settle for nothing less than total supremacy over any and all lesser creatures that dare give challenge to my greatness.'' Harry coldly declared. Puck usually pushed any potentially gay thoughts to the back of his mind, but he had to admit that watching Harry slip into 'ice prince mode' was actually pretty sexy.
''Are you prepared?'' Harry queried, raising a single eyebrow questioningly. Puck kind of wished that he could do that, he'd have to practice later because it seemed like a useful skill.
''Yep i'm totally in the zone and ready to rock this shit.'' The larger boy assured him with confidence.
''Excellent.'' Harry nodded to him and made his way to his starting position, leaving Puck alone.
''Oh and Puck?'' The Brit suddenly called back to him, getting the other boy's attention. ''I'll be questioning you later, about why you've been acting so weird around me for the last few days.'' Harry informed him sternly, making it abundantly clear that Puck wouldn't be able to weasel his way out of it.
That was not going to be a fun discussion. What was he supposed to say to the green eyed boy? 'I know that you're related to Sue freaking Sylvester, is that why you're inherently evil?' he wasn't sure how well that would go over with him. He also harboured suspicions about Harry's loyalty to the glee club. Coach Sylvester had tried to sabotage and destroy them on multiple occasions, and the fact that both she and Harry had failed to mention that they were related, didn't look exactly innocent. Maybe Harry worked so hard to get this duet so he could sabotage it. Was that why Sylvester hadn't been bothering the club lately? Then again Harry had also been helping some of the team with their dancing and Puck knew for a fact that he'd been giving Mike singing lessons, he wouldn't go to that kind of trouble to make them better if he was planning to sabotage them. Maybe Harry had kept it a secret because he didn't want to be treated differently? If they'd known from the start that he was related to Sue, then they probably wouldn't of let him join in the first place. And maybe the cheerleading coach was leaving them alone now because Harry was a member of the team? That would make sense.
''And now, from William McKinley high school in Lima Ohio, the winners of last years Sectionals competition, it's the New Directions!'' The announcers voice rang out over the tannoy, interrupting Puck's thoughts and giving them the signal for them to start the music. It was show time.
''Hey Harry what happened with that judge?'' Puck abruptly called out, having just remembered the other boy's self imposed mission.
''Oh fuck!''
The Warblers seemed to be genuinely looking forwards to this performance. Kurt had told them a lot about New Directions and they had won their Sectionals last year, so they were sure to be good. They'd watched some of their recorded performances online and Blaine could definitely admit that they had some amazing voices. Like with the Warblers featuring him as their front man, the McKinley glee club seemed to favour Finn Hudson, Kurt's stepbrother, and Rachel Berry, a girl with an admittedly exceptional voice. Kurt claimed that there were other members of the club that were just as good, but it was hard to believe that one school could have that much potential star power. They'd only really heard the previously mentioned pair singing, as they'd done almost the entirety of the solo parts during New Directions competition performances last year, so Blaine and the others were curious about what they had put together this time.
As the announcer called out the beginning of the groups performance the audience turned their full attention to the stage. When the music started Blaine didn't immediately recognize the song, but Jeff clearly did if the gasp of excitement was any indication. To everyone's confusion, the curtains of the stage didn't go up, leading them to believe that the stage crew had messed up the timing, until a voice belted out from the back of the room.
''So hot, out the box
Can we pick up the pace?
Turn it up, heat it up
I need to be entertained
Push the limit, are you with it?
Baby, don't be afraid
I'm a hurt 'ya real good, baby!'' - Puck
Everybody seemed to turn in tandem at the sound of the husky tenor flowing easily through the room, commanding everyone's attention. Blaine subconsciously gave the rather muscular boy a once over. Kurt had failed to mention that New Directions had any hot members, but if Harry, Brittany and Santana were any indication then he probably should have guessed anyway. The boy singing was definitely yummy, with the whole sexy bad boy vibe he was giving to the song.
''Puckerman?'' Kurt gasped quietly, sounding perplexed as the jock prowled down the aisle on the other side of the room. As Puck's verse came to an end, the set of doors at the end of the aisle that the Warblers were seated in slammed open and another voice took over, seizing the audience's immediate scrutiny.
''Let's go, It's my show
Baby, do what I say
Don't trip off the glitz
That I'm gonna display
Harry's smooth, resonating voice seamlessly took over, sweeping through the room and sending delightful shivers along people's spines. Blaine idly noticed that not only was Harry an amazing singer, but the lyrics of this song seemed to work brilliantly with his sexy confident attitude.
I told ya, I'm a hold ya down until you're amazed
Give it to ya 'til you're screaming my name.'' - Harry
As Harry came next to where the Warblers were seated, in the course of strutting down the aisle, he turned to face Blaine and sang those last two lines directly to him. The way Harry undulated his body, finishing with a snap of his hips, pretty much scrambled Blaine's brain and he was sure he wasn't the only one.
''No escaping when I start
Once I'm in I own your heart
There's no way you'll ring the alarm
So hold on until it's over'' - Puck
Puck effortlessly took over again, regaining the focus of the crowd as he reached the front of the room and began to ascend to the stage.
''Oh, do you know what you got into?
Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do?
'Cause it's about to get rough for you
I'm here for your entertainment.'' - Puck/Harry
Harry rejoined for the chorus. The two boys harmonised surprisingly well with one another. As they met each other on centre stage, the curtains behind them rose revealing the rest of their glee club who joined in for the next part even as they all jumped into a surprisingly complex dance routine.
''Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet
'Ya thought an angel swept you off ya feet
But I'm about to turn up the heat
I'm here for your entertainment.'' - New Directions
One thing that every member of the Warblers could admit, was that the other glee club definitely seemed to have fun with their performances, if the grins on their faces were any indication.
''It's alright.'' - Harry
''You'll be fine.'' - Puck
''Baby, I'm in control.'' - Harry
''Take the pain.'' - Puck
''Take the pleasure.'' - Harry
''I'm the master of both.'' - Puck
''Close your eyes.'' - Harry
''Not your mind.'' - Puck
''Let me into your soul.'' - Harry
''I'm a work it 'til you're totally blown.'' - Puck
Puck and Harry tackled the verse by trading lines back and forth whilst dancing provocatively, as the rest of New Directions danced and created an echo of the more significant lyrics in the background. The last line from Puck was sung with a growl and a lick of his lips that had most of the audience shifting forwards in their seats.
''No escaping when I start
Once I'm in I own your heart
There's no way you'll ring the alarm
So hold on until it's over.'' - Harry/Puck
''Oh, do you know what you got into?
Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do?
'Cause it's about to get rough for you
I'm here for your entertainment.'' - New Directions
''Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet
'Ya thought an angel swept ya off your feet
Well I'm about to turn up the heat
I'm here for your entertainment.'' - New Directions
Puck was having a blast. The audience was totally eating up their awesomeness and he was rocking the whole sexy vibe, he fully expected to get some phone numbers out of this. He considered trying out for competition solos more often.
''Oh oh... mmmm
Entertainment...
Oh oh... Oh entertainment...
I'm here for your entertainment...'' - New Directions
The club all but chanted the lines of the song at that point, building up for the closing of the song.
''Oooohhh...
Do you like what you see?
Wooooaaaahhhh...
Let me entertain 'ya till you screeaaam.'' - Harry
Harry's vocal strength, as he wailed out the notes of the last verse, had jaws dropping throughout the auditorium. Blaine almost jumped out of his seat and started applauding prematurely, as he watched the boys performing with a star struck expression.
''Oh, do you know what you got into?
Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do?
Cause it's about to get rough for you.
I'm here for your entertainment.'' - New Directions
Kurt found himself feeling a stab of disappointment watching his friends dance around together, clearly enjoying themselves. Not only that, but apparently Mr Schue was finally giving other people a stab at solos and to rub salt in the wound they were doing a refreshingly controversial performance. It was typical that the club would change for the better after he'd already transferred to another school, where everything was so boring and...uniform.
''Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet.'' - Puck (bet ya thought) - Harry
'Ya thought an angel swept ya off your feet.'' - Puck
''Well I'm about to turn up the heat.'' - Puck (turn up the heat) - Harry
''I'm here for your entertainment.'' - New Directions
The crowd roared with approval as the number came to an end, leaping to their feet to give a thunderous standing ovation. The glee club beamed at the praise, whilst taking a moment to catch their breath. Then to the delight of their captivated audience the beat of a more familiar song started up, as Santana stepped up from the rear of the group, walking with an extra sway to her hips.
''Well sometimes I go out by myself
And I look across the water.'' - Santana
''I think we all know who the winners of this little contest should be, so shall we just vote for the New Directions and get it over with?'' The first judge proposed.
''Hardly! We need to reach a unanimous decision, and I for one think that the Dalton Academy Warblers deserve first place.'' The third judge adamantly insisted, prompting the other two to stare at him in surprise.
''I agree that the Warblers were good, but the showmanship and dance moves added to the New Directions performance showed far more effort and versatility on their part. Those kids knocked it out of the park.'' The second judge refuted, narrowing her eyes.
''Well i'm not voting for them, I refuse to let him win!'' The third judge stubbornly declared.
''Him?'' The first judge asked, sounding confused.
''I meant them.'' The third judge swiftly amended, causing the other two to eye him with suspicion. ''Either way it doesn't matter, we need to vote unanimously before we can leave and I refuse to vote for the McKinley glee club. I'll keep you here all night if I have to!''
The other judges looked annoyed and slightly resigned at that statement, but they couldn't for the life of them figure out a way to compromise.
''I think that I might have a solution.'' A dreamy voice pitched in, startling the three judges at the speakers presence in the room.
''Who the hell are you?'' They demanded in unison.
Finally it was time for the verdict. The three competing glee clubs had assembled on the stage to await the judges decision, with many of the performers shifting about anxiously for the results. At last one of the judges stepped out on the stage to address the crowd, whilst spearing Harry and Santana with an evil glare. The pair responded in kind, the malevolence in their combined gaze was such that it made the man flinch as if struck a physical blow.
''In third place...The Hipsters!'' He grandly announced. The audience applauded as the group of elderly singers came forward and accepted the third place trophy with good humour. The judge paused for a moment before continuing.
''And now in first place...we have a tie.'' The competition official announced with a trace of bitterness. ''The Warblers and New Directions both qualify for the Regionals competition later this year. Thank you all for coming!'' He proclaimed.
Both of the winning glee clubs exchanged bewildered looks for a moment, before abruptly bursting into cheers and screams of excitement at their victory. Puck beamed at the news, exchanging hugs and fist bumps with his team mates. He turned to look beside him where Harry had been standing, in order to give the shorter teen a crushing hug, but was confused to find him gone.
''Um excuse me, but did you happen to see where Harry went?'' Someone politely asked, as he stepped in front of him. Puck recognised his as the Warblers lead singer. He glared suspiciously, but before he could demand to know how the other boy knew his friend, everyone's attention was drawn back to centre stage.
''Death!'' Harry roared, as he charged the judge and violently tackled him to the floor, where he proceeded to rain down physical abuse upon the man. Both clubs stared for a moment in shock, before Puck had the sense to alert the one person who might be able to stop the boy.
''Santana, can you stop him?'' He asked. When no reply was forthcoming, he glanced around in confusion but didn't see the fiery girl anywhere. ''Where the fuck is San-''
''Vengeance!'' He was cut off as the girl in question charged forward and leaped into the air, before landing elbow first on the offending judge, who yelped in agony from the impact.
''Screw this, we'd better get out of here before people realise that we know those lunatics!'' Finn shouted to the rest of the group. He spun to his left in order to help wheel Artie off of the stage, but to his confusion the handicapped boy was gone. ''Hey where did Artie go?''
''Boo yeah, mother fucker! It's New Directions bitch!'' Artie howled. The judge now lay pinned to the ground with Santana holding down his legs and Harry restraining his shoulders, as Artie barrelled towards his prone form at top speed.
''This is so embarrassing.'' Tina moaned, hiding her face in her hands. A hand patted her comfortingly on the shoulder.
''Don't worry, you'll get used to it eventually.'' The person soothed her, whilst Tina stared at the girl in confusion.
''Who are you?'' She blurted, eyeing the blonde in bewilderment. The Warblers didn't have any female members and the Hipsters were all ancient, so she wasn't sure what the strange girl was doing on the stage.
''I'd give you my name, but unfortunately we're in a public venue where any malignant entity could easily overhear. One must never give their true name so freely, as those with knowledge can use it to gain power over you.'' The unfamiliar girl lectured, as she gazed at the backdrop of the stage with a dreamy expression. Suddenly her gaze snapped to Puck, whom she began studying intently.
''Did you know that you're covered in Flaming Gumplies?'' She demanded.
''Uh...no? What are Flaming Gumplies?'' Puck asked her incredulously.
''They're microscopic entities that feed off feelings of repressed homosexual attraction.'' She sharply informed him, making his jaw drop at her implication.
''Everyone knows that.'' Brittany chimed in nodding wisely, whilst standing literally nose to nose with the strange unknown British girl in their midst. The two blondes were inspecting one another curiously, completely ignoring the flabbergasted expressions of those that surrounded them.
Rather suddenly the vacant eyed blonde pulled out a can of aerosol and sprayed it in the air above her head. ''To prevent eavesdroppers.'' She briefly explained to them.
''Now for introductions. I'm Luna C. Lovegood.'' She introduced, smiling prettily.
''Hi Lunacy!'' Brittany chirped. ''I'm Brittany S. Pierce.'' The other blonde responded in kind.
''I quite like your music. But I always imagined that Brittany Spears would have more Jabbering Clitcloggers surrounding her.'' Luna noted curiously.
''Jabbering Clitcloggers?'' Rachel queried, eyeing her warily.
''Evil fairies that promote the spread of STD's'' Brittany explained for her. ''Sorry, some of my friends are kinda stupid.'' She confided to Luna apologetically.
''Anyone else feel a headache coming on?'' Puck asked the others, receiving multiple raised hands in answer. ''Just checking.''
AN/ Okay? I hope so, since I actually felt reasonably good about this chapter, in my next one i'll be posting another requested scene that I hope that you'll all find amusing. I've spent a lot of time coming up with new and hilarious one liners and insults for Harry, Sue and Santana to fling at people and we'll be seeing them in the coming chapters. Feel free to make more requests, peace out!