AN/ Hey guys! This only took so long because I've been in Egypt for the past two weeks. It was awesome. So yeah I've been able to check my mail and stuff, but I couldn't update. I banged this chapter out after a couple of hours work, this is pretty much a filler chapter that heralds the beginning of World War Evil.
If anyone has had a change of heart regarding their votes, or would perhaps like to vote for a threesome like some of you have asked, then just review or message me and i'll take it into account. As soon as I have the most accurate idea of ppls favourite pairings then I will be starting the SMUT! WOOHOO!
Some may notice that i've skipped the christmas episode, but that's just me taking advantage of my ability to diverge from canon.
Disclaimer: Glee and HP aren't mine yet, but the schematics have been drawn up so hopefully that will change soon.
''Unacceptable!'' Harry snarled.
''Calm down drama queen.'' Santana told him, sneering disdainfully at his show of emotion.
Harry bristled at the order. He couldn't believe that someone that had betrayed him so callously would dare have the audacity to tell him to 'calm down'.
''How dare you say that, after what you did?'' Harry snapped, glaring fiercely at the cheerleader. ''Then again I probably should of expected this of you Satan. But you Lulu? You're well aware of my rules, how could you do this to me?'' He pleaded, staring at his blonde friend in agonised betrayal.
After beating a man into a coma and fleeing from the authorities the day before, the New Directions had made their way back to Harry's spacious apartment for a small victory celebration. Harry had been thrilled to see Luna, and immediately pulled his friend into a Hollywood style kiss in the middle of the stage as soon as he clapped eyes on her. She'd skilfully evaded his questioning about what she was doing in Lima, and simply insisted that she would tell him later. He ofcourse found this suspicious, but at the time he was too excited to have his Lulu back.
The glee club were surprisingly accepting of Luna's awesomeness, but that was probably due to their regular exposure to Brittany. Sadly the party didn't get the chance to really kick off, as most of the losers had curfews because of school the next day. People had slowly left one by one, until finally Artie and Brittany departed to do whatever it is that couples do, leaving Harry and Luna to their own devices, and Santana scowling at the back of Artie's wheelchair..
They'd stayed up for hours sharing various anecdotes from their Hogwarts years, that Santana seemed eager to listen to. Harry may or may not have spent a good chunk of time bitching about the fact that Blaine was too busy with his friends to come and play at Harry's house, which meant that all his flirting had amounted to nought. At some point Harry must of fallen asleep on the couch, because he awoke the next morning with a blanket draped over him, which he was sure was courtesy of his favourite blonde. Upon waking, he'd decided to be his usual sweet natured self and make breakfast for the three of them. Seeing as it's the most important meal of day. Eventually Luna and Santana had emerged from his guest bedroom, both of them wearing one of his T-shirts to sleep in and showing a teasing amount of bare thigh. At first everything had been hunky dory, but upon greeting his girls with a kiss on the cheek he'd noticed that both of them seemed very satisfied, and not just from having a good nights rest.
''It's not that bad Harry-bo.'' Luna soothed him, reaching out to tenderly stroke his hair.
''Don't touch me, I can't even look at you right now.'' Harry whispered, turning away from her in order to mask his emotional pain.
''What the fuck is the big deal? It was only once.'' Santana pointed out, rolling her eyes at his dramatics. ''Well...okay maybe twice.'' She conceded thoughtfully.
The green eyed boy whipped round to scowl at her. ''That's not the point! Luna, please recite Rule No. 8 of Harry's House.'' Harry commanded the blonde. The girl in question sighed gustily before acquiescing with his request.
''In Harry's House, all hot girl on girl action must be done within his presence.'' She dutifully answered the long since memorised rule. Harry nodded vigorously with her words.
''Exactly! As I have spoken, so shall it be.'' Harry insisted. ''But then you two had the audacity to go and get naked without my supervision! This must be how god felt when that angel dude decided he hated him or whatever.''
Both girls decided to ignore Harry's apparent lack of religious knowledge and the fact that he'd compared himself to a deity. Instead they pondered upon the best way to cheer him up.
''We're sorry H. Why don't we make it up to you? You wanna go get someone fired?'' Santana proposed coaxingly, as she hugged him around the neck and coincidentally gave him a face full of breasts.
''Nuh uh.'' Harry mumbled, shaking his head negatively but keeping his face exactly where it was.
''How about we skip school and go people watching at the mall? We can hurl scathing insults at all the ugly ones.'' The raven haired girl suggested instead.
''Don't wanna.'' Harry muttered petulantly.
''Well what do you want then?'' Santana demanded, her patience quickly running out. The boy slowly extracted his face from her cleavage and fixed her with a pair of mischievous emerald eyes.
''I'll get the hot tub started!'' Harry chirped in answer, before bouncing away onto the balcony, leaving the two girls staring in his wake.
''I believe he wishes to have intercourse.'' Luna helpfully observed, making no move to follow him. Santana nodded her head in agreement.
''How long should we make him wait?'' The Latina wondered thoughtfully.
Luna shrugged in answer. ''I think i'm going back to bed.'' She informed the other girl, smiling mysteriously as she walked back towards the guest room. Santana glanced between the balcony door and Luna's retreating form, debating silently with herself before coming to a decision and following the British girl. She'd always had a thing for blondes and besides, how much madder could Harry get?
Harry grinned smugly, he was sitting in the choir room ignoring the other members of the glee club, who were eyeing him in confusion.
''Wipe that expression off your face, it's creeping me out dude.'' Puck told him, leaning away from him warily.
''Don't bother. He's been a smug little bastard ever since after breakfast.'' Santana grumbled, rubbing her aching back and glaring at the British teen.
''In my defence, I really am sorry. But I honestly thought that fucking somebody through the mattress was just an expression.'' Harry apologised to the slightly bruised girl.
''You did what?'' Puck demanded, sounding outraged. He hadn't had sex today, so naturally it was totally unfair that other people had gotten to.
''Well technically it was the door, not the mattress, but the principle is the same.'' Harry corrected himself, smiling at the other boy tauntingly. ''And it wasn't really my fault, Luna was doing things to my neck and I got distracted!'' He adamantly declared. That'd teach those bitches to try and exclude him! If sex was happening then it was his god given right to be involved if he so chose.
''Luna...? You had a three way with that hot crazy chick and Santana?'' Puck gaped at the other boy, feeling that his stud status was in serious danger of being usurped, especially judging by the looks of respect and awe that the other New Directions guys were giving the newest member of their little club.
''Ofcourse, what else was I supposed to do to pass the time before school?'' Harry questioned, sounding honestly confused about it.
''That's so unfair!'' Puck whined. ''I need to get laid.'' He grumbled.
''I'll do it!'' Harry volunteered, raising his hand eagerly. Puck actually paused for a moment to consider the mechanics of such a thing. He'd tried anal with a few milfs before, so he was pretty certain that it couldn't be that much different. As he began picturing how something like that would go, he immediately got the visual of banging Harry through a door and quickly shook the images from his head. To his surprise he found the green eyed boy was now standing in front of him, pointing triumphantly.
''I saw that! You were totally thinking about it. That counts as consent!'' Harry crowed in victory.
''What the hell are yo...aahh!'' Puck yelped as the smaller boy suddenly sprang forwards, tackling him out of his seat.
''Santana help me! Someone? Rape!'' The mohawked teen wailed.
''Don't be such a whiny bitch Puckerman.'' Harry jabbed, as the two of them rolled across the floor grappling with each other. Santana crossed her arms across her chest and shook her head fondly at the sight.
''Those boys of mine.'' She sighed, her lips curling in amusement at the impeding sexual assault.
''What's going on in here?'' Mr Schuester asked as he entered the room, staring at them sceptically. ''Puck, get off of Harry.'' The teacher scolded, noticing the two boys occupying the floor.
The British student was laying flat on his back with his legs splayed, and Puck in between them pinning the smaller boy to the ground. Or at least that's what it looked like. In reality Harry was holding him between his legs, by gripping the other boy's hips with his freakishly strong thighs.
''Sorry Mr Schue, I tried to get him to stop, but he's absolutely insatiable sometimes.'' Harry apologised on Puck's behalf.
''Lies!'' Puck squawked indignantly as both boys scrambled back to their feet. Harry shuffled around slightly, before suddenly remembering something.
''Oh yeah, here's your boxers back.'' He apologised, holding them out to Puck for him to take. The larger boy stared back at him with his jaw hanging, before swiftly lifting the waistband of his jeans to check on his state of dress. Upon finding that the undergarments he'd been wearing were in fact gone, Puck wasn't sure how to react.
''How the fuck did you do that? They're not even ripped or anything!'' The larger boy protested, as he snatched the boxers from Harry's hand.
''I'm a sex ninja.'' Harry explained with a shrug of his shoulders. Santana raised her hands in the air in agreement. ''Preach.'' She intoned, concurring with her friend.
''You. Are. Terrifying.'' Puck informed the Brit, staring at him warily and slowly backing away.
''Thanks, you're sexy.'' Harry responded in kind.
''I wasn't complimenting you! I meant that you are genuinely disturbing on a number of levels. I'm pretty sure that you're the reason that children cry and puppies get cancer.'' Puck retorted, attempting to set the boy straight about his assumption.
''Oh now you're just trying to turn me on! Stop with the dirty talk you big flirt.'' Harry teased, smacking the other boy on the arm as a rebuke. Puck sighed in aggravation, whilst rubbing his abused arm. It was probably best to just ignore it and move on, but he couldn't help but have one more dig at his quirky friend.
''One day you're going to get some ridiculously dangerous comeuppance from karma, for being such a dick.'' The jock grumbled, prompting Harry to laugh at him. It was at that moment that one Sue Sylvester popped her head into the choir room.
''Green eyes, i'm firing you out of a giant cannon across the football field. Don't forget to make peace with everyone you've ever wronged before your potential demise, which will likely be caused by impact fractures to your cranium. See you in practice in five minutes.'' She barked, leaving no room for any argument as she immediately disappeared back into the hallway.
The glee club stared at where she'd been standing, unsure of whether she was being serious or not. Harry however looked mildly intrigued by the information that the cheerleading coach had imparted to him.
''I've had a lot of shit try to kill me before, but a giant cannon is definitely a new one.'' Harry announced, bouncing excitedly at the mere thought of a new form of bodily harm..
''I'm sure she was just joking Harry.'' Mr Schuester told him, mistaking the boy's excitement for nerves.
''Not likely.'' Santana butted in. ''Me and Brittany went with her to pick the cannon up, and she already got approval from the National Cheerleading Association.'' She informed them all, ignoring Harry's correction of her statement to 'Brittany and I'.
''What?'' Mr Schue demanded, sounding outraged on his students behalf. The man immediately stomped towards the door, no doubt heading to the principals office to complain about this latest injustice. ''Don't worry Harry i'll take care of this.'' He reassured the boy, before he abruptly left the room, leaving the entirety of New Directions to discuss Harry's imminent demise.
''Sucks to be you, I call dibs on your hot tub.'' Santana told him unsympathetically, whilst idly filing her nails.
''Just for that comment, I really hope that I get aimed directly at you.'' Harry retorted grumpily.
''Dude, you're not seriously going to let her shoot you out of a cannon are you?'' Sam asked him, sounding deeply concerned. Harry shrugged.
''I suppose so. If I don't do it then she'll probably force someone else, and they might die or something.'' He reasoned.
''But you could be seriously hurt!'' Tina protested. ''...And since when do you care that much about other people?'' She added sceptically.
''I have a saving people thing.'' Harry informed her. The others fixed him with disbelieving stares, bringing an indignant pout to his face. ''I do! I can't help It that i'm a naturally giving person.'' Harry told them all sullenly. He slouched down in his chair and crossed his arms across his chest, scowling at nothing. ''You guys are so mean to me.''
''Uh huh, we're mean.'' Puck sarcastically agreed.
''So Harry's getting shot head first out of a weapon of war?'' Artie summarised in careful consideration. ''At least things can't get any worse.'' He finally decided after brief deliberation.
''I cannot believe that you just said that!'' Harry accused, pointing at the bespectacled boy dramatically. ''That's like giving Fate a green light to fuck me in the ass without any lube!'' He complained.
''You're overreacting. What's the worst that can happen?'' Rachel asked him, trying and failing to reassure her team mate.
''You just won't be satisfied until the universe is riding my ass with a twenty inch strap on, will you Berry?'' Harry sneered disdainfully.
By lunch time, it became apparent that Artie and Rachel's callous mockery of Murphy's Law, had indeed resulted in shit hitting the fan. Apparently Coach Beiste and Mr Schuester had come up with the bright idea of forcing the football team to join the glee club, in performing the half time show for the upcoming game. One may wonder why the club was doing the half time show in the first place. The answer to that question could be condensed into two simple words. Sue Sylvester.
The tyrannical cheerleading overlord had recently become disillusioned with the lacklustre performances of her squad, and with a seventh consecutive National title on the line, she had decided to pull out all the stops. Which meant that she expected her Cheerios to do the same, and also explained why Harry, Santana, Brittany and Quinn had been called to her office.
''You want us to quit glee club?'' Quinn parroted her coach's recent words. ''Coach Sylvester, that hardly seems fair.'' She protested lamely.
''Sorry Q, but those are the breaks. We all have to make sacrifices in order for me to succeed. And that steaming dung pile of talentless loserdom, that you all associate with, is an unnecessary distraction.'' Sue apologised with about as much sincerity as Bill Clinton.
''But coach that's not-'' Santana began, only to be cut off.
''Enough!'' Sue snapped, eyeing her underlings sternly. ''You three have a choice to make. You can maintain your social status and winning streak with the Cheerios, or you can hand in your uniforms and condemn yourselves to the depressing ambience provided by Will Schuester's grotesque hair. I expect your answers by the end of the day.'' She briskly informed them, before handing each of the three girls a slip of paper detailing their resignation from New Directions.
Both Santana and Quinn were surprised and confused. Neither of them had missed the fact that Harry wasn't given a permission slip, or that Sue had specifically stated that only 'three' of the them had a choice to make. Had Harry already made his? And what made Coach Sylvester so confidant that the boy had chosen the Cheerios? Sure he was the team captain, but he genuinely seemed to enjoy glee club. Santana eyed the expression on his face thoughtfully. Over the last few months she'd gotten fairly good at anticipating Harry's somewhat mercurial moods, but at the moment his face was completely blank, despite the news that they'd just been given. When Harry looked like that, it was a good indicator that something convoluted and potentially crazy was brewing beneath the surface of his calm façade. The question was whether it would be bad for New Directions or for Coach Sue? Santana knew one thing, wherever Harry went so would her nation. She was loyal and awesome like that.
''Coach, may I speak to you privately for a moment?'' Harry requested politely. It was the first time that he'd spoken out since the impromptu meeting had began. Sue looked mildly curious about his request.
''Leave us.'' She commanded, not sparing the three girls so much as a glance. Quinn and Brittany quickly vacated the room without looking back, which was probably wise. As Quinn left she was looking conflicted about something. Santana was unsure of which team the blonde would choose in the end. The glee club had supported her in a time of need, even though she was blonde enough to let Puckerman knock her up. But on the other hand, popularity and the Cheerios were a symbol of normalcy and seemed to mean a lot to her, for reasons that Santana wasn't completely certain of.
On the way out the Latina attempted to catch Harry's eye, but he purposely avoided her gaze. She didn't know what was going on with him, but he was clearly preoccupied with something and it was probably related to their Coach's ultimatum.
''Some time today Chesty Laboob.'' Sue barked, prompting the dark haired girl to hurry her steps towards the door. With one more brief glance in Harry's direction, she departed from the room. No sooner had she crossed the threshold than the door slammed violently shut behind her, making her jump in surprise. She'd love to be a fly on that wall.
''What's on your mind kiddo?'' Sue asked him, without looking up from the paperwork that she had chosen to occupy herself with. She was mildly curious as to what her nephew wanted.
''Really? You actually expect me to believe that you don't have any idea what i'm thinking? I'm not a naive eleven year old anymore, so spare me the evasive questioning.'' Harry sneered, his arms crossed imperiously across his chest.
Sue raised an eyebrow at the teenagers demand. She eyed him for a moment, silently judging how serious he was, before nodding to herself in acceptance. He was serious alright.
''Okay then. Let's lay our cards on the table.'' She conceded. ''You're angry that I dragged you across the Atlantic ocean and forced you to join a group of singing dorks, and then made you put hard time and effort into making them better, just so that you could bring them under my sway and win Nationals with them using my suggestions, thus bringing greater prestige to the name of Sue Sylvester.'' Sue accurately surmised, eyeing the frowning boy across the desk from her. ''Now i'm asking you to throw all that effort away for nothing. Your displeasure is understandable but ultimately boring, so just say whatever angry rant you've concocted and get out of my office.'' She finished, eyeing him distastefully.
''You're spot on.'' Harry said, confirming her observations. ''But you left out the part where I call you clinically insane, for assuming that I'd choose flipping about waving pompoms in skin tight pants, over performing and socialising with a cluster of weirdos.'' He told her coldly.
Sue, for the first time in a while, felt thrown completely off balance. If she didn't know any better she'd assume that her young relative was openly defying her. But that was ofcourse impossible. Harry was intelligent, driven and selfish, but he was also obedient and loyal to a very select few. And she happened to be one of those few, which was something that she was fully willing to take advantage of. Hence how she'd gotten him to relocate to America on a mere whim without him disagreeing about it. Now she realised that even if she was successful in taking over the glee club, it would mean nothing if her Cheerios broke their winning streak. So she had elected to turn her full focus towards gaining yet another National title. Which also meant that she didn't want to waste any time or resources trying to oust Schuester from his position. Harry should have been completely willing to abandon New Directions, but for some reason he seemed displeased by her decision.
''I'm resigning from the ranks of you hapless whores.'' Harry informed her scathingly, much to her shock. ''I've put too much effort into the choir to bail out now. Believe it or not, but I actually enjoy the shenanigans that they get into, even if being around them is like staring at a number of fun house mirrors. By which I mean distorted, unappealing and reminiscent of being on drugs, but still amusing regardless.''
Sue stared at him for a moment, her face displaying the rare emotion of complete disbelief. Harry remained unphased by her reaction, even as her visage slowly shifted to that of unholy rage. He did however tense in preparation for whatever the woman's response would be.
''You dare defy me?'' She hissed, rising slowly from her seat and narrowing her hawk like gaze upon him.
''I'm doing more than that. Just ignoring your wishes would be boring. So instead of defiance, I've chosen to completely ruin your precious harem of barbie dolls, starting with taking Santana, Brittany and Quinn and getting them to quit the squad in favour of the glee club.'' He boldly declared, staring down his tyrannical aunt without so much as flinching.
To his surprise Sue's expression cleared at his words, the anger now being replaced by amusement. ''Good luck with that brat. If there's one thing I know it's teenage girls, seeing as most of my replacement body parts are around that age. And teenagers crave the sensation of superiority over their peers. The Cheerios can give them that, whereas I sincerely doubt that you can promise the same.'' She pointed out tauntingly. Harry scoffed at her words.
''Oh please, I could rule this school in a matter of hours If I so chose. But that's not the reason that they're going to come with me. They're going to follow me because New Directions is about to undergo the upgrade to championship status, with me bankrolling the operation for inevitable glitz, glamour and victory.'' He claimed with complete self assurance.
''You wouldn't dare.'' Sue told him, her tone holding a hint of warning.
''Hmm, what would double the Cheerios annual budget be?'' Harry questioned innocently. ''That sounds like it would come in handy.''
Sue stared at him, feeling momentarily torn over how to respond. Finally she decided that only one form of reply was suitable for such betrayal. Reaching into the front of her tracksuit, she plucked out a remote and quickly pressed the button. The floor beneath Harry's seat snapped open, dropping the chair that he'd been sitting on into a dark hole. Fortunately Harry had anticipated this move, and leapt aside the instant his aunt had drawn the device.
''You'll have to do better than that.'' Harry informed her, feeling rather insulted at the lack of creativity that was put into incapacitating him.
''Actually that was just a distraction, so that you wouldn't notice Becky sneaking up behind you with the chloroform.'' Sue revealed. Before Harry could even process that statement, a damp rag was placed over his mouth and nose, sending him crashing to the floor and into blissful unconsciousness.
Becky looked down at the fallen boy. ''Is he gonna be okay Coach?'' She asked her idol curiously. Harry was always nice to her, so she hoped that her mentor wasn't going to hurt him.
''He'll be fine, if cockroaches can survive a nuclear holocaust, then i'm sure he can survive what I have planned.'' Sue told the girl, dismissing her concerns as trivial.
She had always known that there was a seventeen percent chance that Harry would go against her, and so she had put in place a fool proof plan to remove him from the picture. With him safely out of the way she'd be unopposed in her destruction of the glee club. The boy would rue the day that he crossed Sue Sylvester.
''Wait a second, you're saying that Harry just left? In the middle of a school day? Without saying goodbye? To move to San Francisco and have a sex change operation?'' Santana asked in disbelief.
The glee club had been in the middle of a meeting with Coach Beiste and the football team, when Coach Sylvester had burst into the room, in the middle of Puck and Rachel's duet. According to her Harry had left Lima, despite the numerous gaping holes in her story she assured them that it was true.
''But I was at his apartment this morning, and he hadn't packed any of his stuff.'' Santana pointed out.
''He said that he'll send for his things.'' Sue quickly explained.
''He left his bag in my locker after second period.'' Mercedes added, feeling equally sceptical.
''He said that any luggage would merely slow him down, in his quest to gain a vagina of his own.'' Sue countered.
''Harry wouldn't just ditch us. Besides weren't you the main reason he came here anyway?'' Puck demanded.
''I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, and that Mohawk in no way brings your sexuality into question.'' Sue retorted sarcastically, prompting Puck's hands to start nervously patting at his strip of hair.
''You guys are all freaks.'' Azimio muttered, from amongst his fellow football players.
''Yeah, who cares if that fag is gone, if he were here right now then I'd...'' Whatever Karofsky was about to say was cut off by the door flying open, in a manner that only one person could be responsible for.
''Finish that sentence you porky closet case, and i'll turn you into the world's ugliest throw rug.'' Harry threatened, as he strode menacingly into the room. The sudden chill that swept through those assembled was hard to explain, given the fact that the weather was pleasantly mild that day.
''Harry you're okay...and wearing nothing but boots and boxer shorts...what the hell?'' Tina happily noted.
''Impossible!'' Sue declared, pointing at the boy in accusation. ''How did you get out of those chains? You should be two hours off shore locked in a shipping crate, on the way to Timbuktu by now!''
''Oh I was.'' Harry told her. ''But you forgot about Hedwig. Not only does she have exceptional navigational abilities, but her lock picking skills are second to none.'' He explained smugly, as his beloved owl fluttered through the doorway and alighted gracefully on her master's shoulder.
Sue mentally cursed at having miscalculated so badly. She knew that she'd one day regret letting her nephew genetically splice his pet with preserved DNA from Velociraptor fossils, and apparently that day had come.
''How did you get passed the alligators?'' The cheerleading coach further questioned him, out of idle curiosity.
Harry pointed at his feet, bringing everyone's attention to his boots and the fact that they appeared to be made out of some form of reptile hide.
''So you escaped being bound from head to toe in chains and getting locked in a steel crate sealed with a blowtorch. You killed a trio of giant alligators, each of which was a proven man eater, and you did so presumably with your bare hands. After that you somehow got off of a heavily monitored cargo vessel and made it seven miles back to shore, whilst miraculously finding the time to fashion yourself serviceable but stylish footwear from the skins of your vanquished foes?'' Sue summarised, leaving the room staring between her and Harry as though assessing whether she was serious.
''Indeed I did.'' Harry affirmed proudly.
''Unimpressive.'' Sue sneered. ''Frankly I expected you to be here about fifteen minutes ago.''
''Hey it's not my fault that the guy, who's car I hijacked to get here from the beach, kept giving me the wrong directions!'' Harry protested, trying in vain to defend his badassness from his aunt's criticism.
''Regardless, I expect better from one of my relations. Next time I want you to shave that time in half.'' The Coach scolded.
Puck's eyes widened at the insane woman's words. He glanced around at everybody else, but to his confusion they seemed completely unaffected by her revelation. He decided to find out what was going on. Hoping against attracting the attention of the two alpha predators facing off in the middle of the room, Puck leaned slowly towards Mike in the seat next to his.
''Wow, Harry's related to Coach Sylvester. That sure is a shock.'' He whispered discretely, doing an appalling job of acting surprised. Mike looked at him in bewilderment.
''Dude, you didn't know that? It's all over his Facebook.'' The Asian boy pointed out.
''Plus Rachel discovered it during her routine search for potential spies.'' Tina added, leaning over from her boyfriend's other side to add her two cents.
''Jacob Ben Israel announced it over the loudspeaker like two weeks ago, that's why Harry hung him from the flag pole and covered him in raw meat...I didn't even know that we had Bald eagles in Ohio before that.'' Artie chipped in from in front of them, having overheard the conversation.
''Seriously? So I've been keeping that juicy ass gossip to myself for no reason? I thought I was being a good friend!'' Puck whined indignantly. He couldn't believe that everyone knew already, it was so unfair.
His attention was returned to the family confrontation in the centre of the room when he heard Harry's next declaration.
''You've gone too far this time aunt Sue.'' The dark haired Brit boldly claimed.
''Really?'' Sue asked him, sounding highly doubtful of that fact.
''Okay not really. I suppose that you didn't do anything extreme, but i'm still pissed off that I had to take a dip in the Atlantic ocean.'' Harry amended peevishly.
''Nothing extreme?'' Quinn murmured faintly, as she mentally reviewed the atrocities that Sue had claimed to have put Harry through. Suddenly the blonde felt that it was a very good idea to never get on either of their bad sides. She fancied herself as being clever, ambitious and bitchy, but that family took power games to lengths that defied all logic.
''I grow tired of your incessant whining.'' Sue abruptly decided, turning her back on Harry in a sign of disrespect. ''Come my minions, we must prepare for our next offensive.'' Sue commanded the three Cheerios in the room.
''Satan, Angelcake, bitch I don't like, stay where you are.'' Harry ordered, ignoring Quinn's sputtering at the manner in which she was addressed.
''I said come!'' Sue repeated, snapping her fingers sharply. ''Good dogs are so hard to find these days.'' The cheerleading coach muttered conspiratorially to Coach Beiste and Mr Schuester, both of whom could only gape stupidly at her words.
''They're staying right here.'' Harry insisted. ''After all without the four of us, your squad lacks the required star power for you to win Nationals. And when you lose, the Cheerios remaining funding for the year will be funnelled into the school's other clubs. Which when added to the rather sizeable donation that I just made to Principal Figgins, means that the glee club's annual budget will eclipse that of even Vocal Adrenaline.'' He pointed out smugly.
''I think I love him.'' Rachel whispered, watching Harry reverently. The other glee club members exchanged looks of delight at their apparent financial gain. It was about time that they managed to one up Coach Sylvester.
''Get in line girly.'' Puck spoke up, challenging Rachel's words. Those around him stared in surprise. ''What? He's standing almost naked in alligator skin boots, whilst carrying out acts of almost cartoonish villainy, anyone who says they aren't turned on by that is full of shit.'' The mohawked teen defended.
''Truth.'' Santana agreed wholeheartedly, whilst absently caressing herself. ''He is so getting laid tonight.''
Sue seemed at a loss when both Brittany and Santana remained sitting, Quinn looked reluctant but surprisingly Finn of all people managed to keep her seated as well.
''You think that I need you sagging Jezebels to succeed?'' Sylvester asked mockingly. ''And even if by some miraculous stroke of fate I did happen to fail, you still wouldn't get your hands on my squad's funding. That's what illegal offshore bank accounts were made for.'' She asserted confidently.
Harry paused at that revelation, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. ''Hmm, If only I'd anticipated that and had a genius hacker at my disposal...oh wait, I do!'' The green eyed boy looked towards the corner of the room. ''Hermione, did you get all of that?'' He queried.
Everyone jumped when a disembodied voice answered him, out of a hidden speaker that the club had been unaware of. ''It's taken care of Harry. I've already siphoned the funds and had them deposited back into the school's accounts under the guise of a donation from Potter Trading Inc.'' The evidently female person answered, her voice tinged with amusement.
''Granger.'' Sue cursed in realisation, glaring in the general direction of where she was certain that a camera must be.
''Hello Ms Sylvester, I trust that you are well?'' Hermione crisply replied.
Well that was certainly annoying. Sue hadn't anticipated Harry getting his little friends involved. Hermione Granger was nothing short of brilliant, her one failing was her moral calibre and tendency towards straight forward thinking. Unfortunately the erratic thought process of Luna Lovegood and Harry's complete disregard for rules and order, rounded out the girl's shortcomings. Combine the three of them with Hedwig's affinity towards espionage and you had a group that had risen to legendary status in the halls of Hogwarts, overshadowing even the legacy of the legendary Marauders.
''So, it seems that I finally find myself up against that group.'' Sue hissed, though she mentally acknowledged that she had temporarily been bested and felt a surge of pride in her nephew's resourcefulness. It was damn near impossible to one up Sue Sylvester, and anyone that managed to do so deserved her respect, followed by a swift and painful demise.
''That's right aunt Sue.'' Harry agreed, before speaking seemingly to the room at large. ''Good morning Angel's!'' He chirped.
''Good morning Harry.'' Luna dutifully responded as she arrived, entering the room with perfect timing.
''Hoot.'' Hedwig added in synchronicity with the blonde.
''You do realise that's it's the middle of the afternoon?'' Hermione observed over her speaker, neglecting to give the proper response.
''Damn your accurate time keeping woman!'' Harry groused, shaking his fist in the direction of the computer genius's camera.
''Are you shaking your fist at me?'' Hermione snapped.
''No mam.'' Harry quickly denied, lowering his hand to his side. ''This is why Hedwig is the lead Angel, ya bossy know it all.'' He muttered under his breath.
''You do realise that this sound equipment can pick up everything you just said don't you?'' Hermione asked him sweetly.
''No I did not, but I'll be sure to remember that in the future.'' Harry assured her unapologetically. As long as she was half the world away he was safe. ''Anyway the point is that Harry's Angels are back in action!'' He crowed joyously.
''You put together a group of chicks called Harry's Angels?'' Sam questioned. ''Dude, that's awesome.'' The blonde boy told him approvingly.
''Yeah I know. It was going to be called Harry's Harem, but Hermione wouldn't stop punching me in the face.'' Harry stated, rubbing his jaw in remembered pain.
''Enough of your clownish antics!'' Sue roared, making those assembled flinch in fear. ''You may have won this round Angels, but no one crosses General Zodd and gets away with it. Enjoy your temporary victory, but you haven't seen the last of me! Mwahahaha!'' With her crazed declaration Sue extracted a small white orb from her pocket and swiftly smashed it on the floor, enveloping the room in a cloud of pungent smoke.
The New Directions and the gathered football players began coughing at the lungful of fumes that they all received, but fortunately the smokescreen dispersed as quickly as it came. To no ones surprise Coach Sylvester was gone, and Mr Schuester now lay on the ground with a emptied trash bin dumped on his head, clutching at his abused testicles.
''Well that was certainly over dramatic.'' Harry observed, eyeing the after effects of Sue's departure curiously from his new position seated on Puck's lap, with Luna perched on Harry's. Noah was unsurprised at their sudden change of location, but there was one thing that he just had to know.
''Dude...where the hell did you get that shirt and pants?'' He demanded, eyeing Harry's new ensemble of dark jeans and a sleeveless white t-shirt.
''Luna brought them for me, that's why she showed up.'' The green eyed boy breezily explained.
''No I meant how did you get changed that fast?'' Puck clarified.
''Luna.'' Harry answered simply, giving the blonde girl on his lap a squeeze. Puck wisely chose not to enquire further about the matter.
''Who the heck is General Zodd?'' Finn pondered, speaking up from where the rest of the glee club sat looking only mildly surprised at the events that had transpired.
''I believe that it's Coach Sylvester's alter ego...or she could be schizophrenic, which would explain a lot.'' Rachel added.
The football players, who had remained almost completely silent throughout the weirdness that had occurred, finally found the wits to react.
''Coach Beiste?'' Azimio whispered, with his eyes still trained on the glee club.
''Yeah boy?'' The football coach asked him.
''We'll do the half time show, we'll wear fricken tutus If we have to...just keep him the hell away from us!'' He pleaded, pointing at an oblivious Harry who waved back at them with a cheery smile.
''I think that can be arranged.'' Beiste told him. She was pleased that her team had decided not to give her anymore trouble, but all things considered she couldn't really blame them. That Harry kid was just plain terrifying.
''Do you think we could get him to go after the hockey team?'' One of the footballers asked curiously. They were always eager to find a way to get back at the other rival sports club.
''Hey good idea.'' Sam agreed, having overheard the boy. The blonde cupped his hands around his mouth. ''Hey Harry, the hockey team said that you hit like a girl.'' He called out.
''Meh.'' The raven shrugged uncaringly.
''They said that your ass only rated an eight out of ten.'' Santana chipped in helpfully.
''They what? Mother fuckers! Luna where'd I leave my war mace?'' The Brit snarled, surging menacingly to his feet and bumping Luna off of his lap.
''I checked the camera in your bedroom, it's under your right pillow.'' Hermione's voice rang out.
''Thanks Mione!'' Harry called as he jogged out of the room.
''You have a camera in his bedroom?'' Santana asked aloud.
''Yes and his shower.'' Hermione answered mischievously.
''So that means that you saw...''
''Yep.''
''With the...''
''Yes indeed.''
''Huh...so what did you think?''
''I'd give you an A+ for execution.''
''Wanky.''
AN/ Next chapter Sue loses her Nationals and recruits new members for the League of Doom that are more familiar with her current opponents. League of Doom vs Harry's Angels, who shall triumph? Finn and Rachel split, Rachel and Harry BOND?