AN/ Holy crap, I re-wrote this bitch like six times before finally deciding on a course of action that I can live with.

Anything from the party not covered this chapter will be in the next one, entitled 'Flashbacks and Fakeouts'. Most of the good stuff will be covered then, but I hope that you enjoy this one. I'll say now though, that none of the upcoming cliff hangers will have obvious outcomes, so think outside the box. ;)

On the subject of pairings, all of the romantic interactions that have been shown so far, are the result of the majority of readers asking for those particular couplings. I may need to launch another poll, but remember this fic will at least cover up until when the seniors graduate, so any pairings that occur may change by that point.

Disclaimer: Entities of a lesser status own Glee and Harry Potter, but soon they shall be felled and their assets seized. Those that wish to join my crusade, drop me a PM. For glory!

Santana was pleased. The alcohol was flowing freely, and everyone was slowly slipping into a state where their inhibitions were becoming nothing more than a hazy memory. It was time to manipulate them to her whims. Perhaps an orgy was in order? Or a rousing game of 'Santana's Mystery Dungeon'? Or...

''Luna honey, truth or dare?'' She called out to the blonde, who was currently attempting to use Artie as transportation in her attempts to run down Sam and Mike.

Luna looked up curiously, leaving Artie to continue on his trajectory and roll into a wall with a crash. ''Dare!'' She answered eagerly.

''Swap underwear with someone.'' Santana commanded, after a moment of thought.

Luna paused at her request, and glanced around at her potential choices. Everyone's attention had been drawn by the girl's shouting, and they were awaiting Luna's selection with a mixture of amusement and apprehension. Clearly no one wanted to be her intended victim, so the blonde decided to take pity on them and go for the easy option.

''Haribo, toss me your boxers.'' She requested.

Harry looked up, from where he was pouring shots into glasses, and shrugged in acquiescence. Without the slightest bit of hesitation, he casually reached for the buckle his belt, whilst Luna began fumbling around beneath her skirt.

''Wait!'' Rachel protested. ''Can't you do that somewhere else?''

Her plea went ignored, as to everyone's collective shock, Harry finally finished unfastening his belt and fly, grabbed the waistband of his jeans and underwear, then yanked them down in one fell swoop.

''My eyes!'' Finn wailed.

''My eyes.'' Tina purred, happily taking in the view.

Harry ignored the incredulous stares, as he realised that he couldn't get the garments all of the way off with his shoes still on. ''Santana?'' He whimpered helplessly, uncaring of his pants being around his ankles.

''You are so fucking useless.'' Santana told him fondly, as she walked over and knelt down in front of the boy to begin untying his boots. ''You know, it almost seems like a waste to have my head this close to your bare crotch, without making it worth your while.'' She commented with a leer at the parts on display.

''No! There will be none of that in my basement.'' Rachel insisted, as she determinedly kept her eyes averted from the pair.

''Success!'' Luna crowed victoriously, recalling everyone's attention. Her skirt was now repositioned back to where it should be, and dangling from the tips of her fingers was a bright blue thong. ''It's weird handing Harry my underwear, without the intention of stuffing them in his mouth as a makeshift gag.'' She commented idly as she walked across the intervening distance and handed over the panties.

''I didn't need to know that.'' Finn sniffled.

''I could stand to hear some more.'' Puck countered lecherously.

Santana finally managed to remove Harry's footwear, and helpfully held the clothing pooled around his feet still as he stepped out of it. With a flourish, she extracted Harry's boxers from the pile and flung them to Luna, who deftly snatched them out of the air. After the two Brits had finished exchanging undergarments, and Harry had gotten his jeans back on amidst a mixture of boos of protest and sighs of relief, the game was all set to continue.

''Truth or dare Haribo?'' Luna queried.

''Dare.'' Harry asserted confidently.

''I dare you to knock on the neighbours door, and convince them that you're a rent boy that was called out to their address.'' Luna challenged.

''Dude, that's harsh.'' Sam winced sympathetically.

''That's a cake walk.'' Harry corrected. ''Watch and learn mortals.''

The green eyed boy walked across the room and retrieved his missing shirt, which he slipped back on, whilst making sure to leave a scandalous number of buttons unfastened. Following that, he reached over the arm of the nearby sofa and snatched up Puck's leather jacket.

''Don't bother asking if you can borrow my stuff or anything.'' Puck grumbled sarcastically.

''Don't act like seeing me in your jacket isn't turning you on.'' Harry teased, as he shrugged it over his shoulders and sensuously caressed the leather.

''Enough talk.'' Luna interrupted ''It's whoring time.''

''This is gonna be hilarious.'' Mercedes giggled, as they all made their way upstairs.

''Couldn't we get in trouble for this though?'' Kurt fretted, ringing his hands nervously as they made their way to the front porch.

Blaine nodded vigorously in agreement. ''Yeah, Harry might get arrested for solicitation or something.'' He added, as he worriedly watched the boy strutting across the lawn to the house next door.

''Strap on a pair, it's only solicitation if he actually has sex in exchange for money. And even if he did have sex and was given money afterwards, as long as it isn't implicitly stated that the money was for any services rendered, then he can't get in trouble.'' Santana explained.

''Do we want to know how you know that?'' Quinn asked, sounding honestly curious. The booze was doing wonders for loosening her up.

''It doesn't matter.'' Santana airily dismissed. ''My pimping days are far behind me.''

Lucas Sorrentino was a young and very successful computer programmer. He was intelligent, handsome, and had been married to the woman of his dreams for just over a year and a half. So all in all, life was pretty sweet.

When the doorbell rang at seven thirty that evening, he wasn't sure what he was expecting to find when he opened the door. But the teenager on the other side of it, leaning casually against the frame, definitely wasn't anywhere on the list.

''Um...can I help you?'' The home owner politely inquired.

The boy smiled at him, his bright green eyes dancing merrily. ''I think that's my line.'' He drawled, absently fingering the zipper of his jacket.

Lucas was momentarily surprised by the sound of his visitor's voice. The thick southern accent, that flowed from his lips with a distinctive twang, wasn't what he'd been expecting at all. It sounded familiar, but for the life of him he couldn't place it's state of origin. Texas maybe?

''I'm sorry, but do I know you?'' The man asked cluelessly. He wondered if maybe he was one of the new office interns that had started work that week.

The boy rolled his eyes, seeming more amused than exasperated. ''Nope!'' He answered cheerfully. ''But you called for entertainment, so I'm here to entertain you.''

Lucas frowned at the odd response, and took a second look at the boy's appearance. He was dressed smartly, but wore the clothing with a casual air that was oddly suggestive for some reason. The emerald green dress shirt hugging his chest had been undone half way, showing far more of his lightly tanned skin than was probably necessary. His jeans were extremely form fitting, highlighting every line of lean muscle in his legs. The look was topped with a leather jacket, adding a bad boy edge to the ensemble. All in all, the teenager before him was almost ridiculously attractive, if you were interested in that sort of thing. Which Lucas wasn't. He'd been married to Angela for just over a year now, and even though the honeymoon period had come to an end, he was still definitely a ladies man. He could see how someone would find the young man in his doorway appealing however, even if he was dressed like a male escort.

''Wait a minute, what exactly do you mean by entertainment?'' The programmer demanded, suddenly processing the teenager's words and coming to a mortifying conclusion.

''I thought that it would sound better than saying, you called for a whore and I'm here for a fuck.'' The boy answered dryly.

Before the older man could correct the obvious misunderstanding, and quickly usher the young man away, his wife poked her head into the hallway, having been attracted by all the noise.

''Honey? What's going...'' She trailed off, as she caught sight of the young man leant casually against their door frame. Her eyes unwittingly dragged over his form from head to toe, before she wrenched them away again in embarrassment

''Um, who's this?'' She asked her husband, looking between the two men curiously.

''He's...um...he's a-'' Her husband stuttered haltingly, before the teenager cut him off.

''He's trying to say I'm a hooker.'' The green eyed boy bluntly revealed. ''Feel free to call me a whore though if it makes you feel more comfortable, or if you've got a kink for dirty talk.''

''What?!'' The woman shrieked.

The situation was becoming more than a little surreal. She had never even seen a prostitute in the street before, let alone come face to face with one in her own home. All of a sudden though, she recalled a conversation she'd had with her husband a few nights ago about spicing up their sex life. At the time she'd only been thinking of maybe doing it doggy style or something, she hadn't even considered anything like a threesome, but that was mostly because she was sure that her husband would insist on picking up another woman. Apparently she'd been wrong.

''Aww honey.'' She cooed, pulling her husband into a hug. ''You didn't have to do this!''

''Do what?'' He demanded cluelessly, still a little confused by the presence of a potentially under aged gigolo in his house.

''Hire somebody just to satisfy my needs.'' She revealed.

Her husband's jaw dropped, but before he could come up with a suitably indignant retort the boy interrupted.

''Can we hurry this up? Coz my pimp is a nasty mother fucker, and she'll probably pistol whip me again if I'm late for my next client.'' He pointed out, in what Mrs Sorrentino found to be a very sexy southern accent.

''We didn't call you!'' The man of the house spat out, finally finding his voice again.

The teen blinked. ''You didn't?''

''No!'' Her husband growled. ''Do we look like the sort of people that would take part in that kind of thing?''

''Not really, but I just spent the last two hours getting rammed by a Priest, so looks can be pretty deceiving.'' The young man informed them.

''Get out of our house!'' Mr Sorrentino blustered.

''Are you sure? I give a pretty awesome hummer.'' The boy offered coaxingly, bringing an expression of intrigue to the man's face.

''Really? Huh, what do you think sweetheart?'' He asked his wife. ''It'd be a shame for him to have come all this way for no reason.'' Her husband pointed out, abruptly changing his mind.

''I suppose so.'' His wife hesitantly agreed. ''We wouldn't want the poor thing getting pistol whipped after all.''

''Awesome. Then that'll be twenty eight hundred up front.'' The escort demanded, holding out his hand expectantly.

''That seems a little steep.'' Mr Sorrentino protested.

''And how exactly do you know that?'' His wife inquired, narrowing her eyes at him dangerously.

As the couple began to argue about the standard rates of prostitutes, Harry happily made his way back out on to the porch and cupped his hands around his mouth. ''Hey Santana, these losers totally bought it!'' He crowed victoriously.

''Priceless!'' The girl cackled back at him.

''Yeah, but this cheapskate was trying to haggle me down from twenty eight hundred!.'' Harry bellowed back.

''Seriously? Your smokin' hot ass is worth twice that much!'' Santana protested indignantly, as she elbowed her way passed her group of mortified friends and stomped towards the neighbouring house.

The Sorrentino's had stopped arguing by this point, as they'd been too busy gaping at the boy screaming at the top of his lungs of their front porch. They were even more stupefied, when a girl came storming into their house without so much as a by your leave.

''We'll take thirty five hundred, and not a penny less.'' She snapped, jabbing her pointer finger into the terrified Mr Sorrentino's chest. ''And I get sixty percent.'' She added to Harry, as an afterthought.

''That's not fair, I'll be doing all of the work!'' Harry whined.

Outside, gathered on Rachel's front lawn, the rest of the glee club and the four Warblers listened to the ongoing commotion with varying expressions of incredulity.

''I think they forgot it was a game.'' Sam pointed out, as the noise inside the home escalated.

''Yeah, one of us should probably get them out of there.'' Mike added, wincing when the sound of something breaking echoed out into the street. ''Just so long as it's not me.''

Santana's unholy screeching reached new levels of auditory agony, causing a number of dogs in the surrounding houses to start barking and several neighbours to poke their heads curiously out of their windows.

''I'm never going to live this down.'' Rachel despaired, turning to Finn and burying her face in her ex boyfriend's chest.

''At least it can't get any worse.'' The football player offered, patting the girl's head comfortingly.

''Holy shit, is that a fire?'' Artie cried out.

Luna watched with a sense of detachment, as the party goers unanimously decided to flee back inside, leaving their wayward friends to their own devices.

''I simply must remember to stop giving Harry that particular dare, it always turns out exactly the same way.''

Sue eyed her opponent with a practised eye, and a keen sense of wariness. She'd not had this much trouble with a foe since she'd attempted to discover what Joan Rivers was made out of, and have it replicated into a suit of near indestructible body armour. But she'd be damned if she willingly allowed anyone to get the best of her. Sue Sylvester yielded to no one, be they man or god.

''Drink the thrice damned juice, or suffer unimaginable consequences!'' She hissed, holding out the sippy cup to a giggling Teddy.

The baby babbled happily back at her, completely dismissing her formidable presence that had induced heart failure in lesser creatures.

''So, you still refuse to comply willingly? Even after having the audacity, to empty the vile contents of your infantile bowels on my favourite tracksuit?'' Sue demanded, receiving only another stream of baby chatter in response. ''Your resolve is impressive. You've earned a warriors death.'' She noted, with slight respect for the young one's testicular fortitude. Anyone who could defy her straight to her face was deserving of recognition, followed swiftly by painful annihilation.

''Amber, fetch me the needle-nose pliers!'' The Coach snapped imperiously to one of the Cheerios standing obediently behind her.

''My name's Tiffany.'' The girl pointed out.

''Amber's better. No one will ever take you seriously as a disease riddled stripper, if you have a name that makes you sound like daddy's little girl.'' Sue corrected.

That was the very reason that she usually renamed her cheerleaders after sports cars or particularly gaudy gem stones, she was trying to help them with their future career prospects. Truly she was a magnanimous, wise and caring leader.

''If you don't come back with those pliers in the next fifteen seconds, I'll beat you with this pillow case full of apples!'' She barked at the girl's retreating back, as she scurried off to fulfil her assigned task. Wise and caring indeed.

Now, were babies really resistant to electricity, or was that one of the many urban legends that she'd perpetuated over the years?

''So where's Teddy tonight?'' Blaine asked curiously.

Harry and Santana had returned from whatever they'd been doing ten minutes ago, but refused to comment on how they'd gotten out of the situation without anyone calling the authorities.

''He's with my Aunt.'' Harry told him. ''Which probably isn't a good a idea. Last time she watched him, he picked up the habit of throwing things at my head.'' He revealed.

''He only threw one pacifier at you.'' Luna pointed out. ''And you tossed a book back at him in retaliation, thank goodness you missed and hit the window washer.''

''I thought he was challenging me for dominance, I had to reassert my position as the alpha male.'' Harry insisted. ''Plus that window cleaner was fine, it was just a little fall.''

''You live on the sixth floor.'' Blaine reminded him.

''Semantics.'' Harry dismissed.

''Hey bitches, quit jawing at each other and get your asses over here!'' Santana demanded. ''It's time to spin the bottle.''

''Cool.'' Blaine chirped. ''Um, will the other New Directions guys be okay if Kurt, Nick or I spin and it lands on them?'' He asked hesitantly.

''They'll be fine. I kiss them all the time as a way of saying hi, and they don't mind.'' Harry reassured him.

''We do mind! You're just freakishly strong.'' Sam griped.

''Silence blondie.'' The Brit retorted.

After some cajoling of the more reluctant participants, everyone settled in a circle on the floor while Santana explained the rules.

''Okay people. You spin the bottle, and when it lands on someone, you kiss for no less than five seconds. If it lands on the same person more than once during the course of the game, then you have to escalate. Questions?'' The ex Cheerio prompted.

''What do you mean by escalate?'' Tina inquired curiously.

''She means you have to add a little something extra, like some tongue or a bit of groping. And you have to extend the time by another ten seconds.'' Quinn explained, having experienced Santana's sense of play many times before.

''Sounds like fun.'' Mercedes grinned.

''Don't forget that once you choose to spin, you have to kiss whoever it lands on, with no exceptions. If you want, then you can elect not to spin, in which case you'll be out of the game.'' Harry chipped in.

''Why would we pussy out?'' Puck scoffed. ''It's just a little kiss.''

''That's why we have the escalation rule Puckerman.'' Santana sneered. ''You have to keep upping the ante each time you kiss the same person, and if you play the odds and keep landing on them then things will eventually get pretty raunchy.''

''I'm out!'' Kurt declared, shuffling out of the circle and throwing himself into a nearby chair. He was a firm believer in romance, and as much as he might like to kiss Blaine and maybe a couple of the other boys there, he didn't want to do anything too risqué.

''Come on Kurt, don't be a spoilsport.'' Nick piped up.

''No.'' Kurt adamantly refused. ''A brush of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets for me, I refuse to be part of anything...unseemly.''

There was a brief moment of silence before Harry, Puck and Santana burst into raucous laughter.

''Brush of the fingertips!'' Santana howled, hanging off of Harry for support.

''You slay me Hummel.'' Puck sniggered.

The dark haired Brit fell to the floor, thumping his fist against the carpet in hysterics. ''Legendary!'' Harry proclaimed.

It took a few minutes for the three of them to calm down, during which time a blushing Kurt had been trying to burn them to ashes with the force of his glare. Eventually though, Harry sat up and reached for the empty bottle.

''There are far sexier things to brush than just the fingers Kurtsie.'' The green eyed boy purred, as he set the bottle in the middle of the circle and set it spinning with a deft flick of his wrist. Everyone watched with anticipation to see where it would land, before it finally slowed and came to a stop.

''C'mere Angelcake!'' Harry beckoned, as the bottle halted in front of Brittany.

The blonde bounced to her feet and strode across the circle, before dipping down and pressing their lips chastely together. After five seconds was counted out, the two pulled away and Brittany returned to her seat next to Artie.

''How was kissing the underwear model?'' Her boyfriend asked her teasingly.

''Awesome!'' Brittany chirped. ''Harry tastes like cherries.''

''He totally does, it's really gay.'' Santana agreed.

''Fuck you Satan.'' Harry retorted.

''We'll see, if the bottle lands on you enough times.'' She shot back suggestively.

Next up Brittany landed on Sam, who in turn landed on Mercedes. After the sassy girl landed on Puck, and he returned to his seat, they finally got a more interesting pairing. As the bottle slowed to a crawl in front of Harry, Puck pumped his fist in the air.

''Score!'' He crowed, before crooking a finger in the other boy's direction. ''Come get some pretty boy.''

''Try not to shoot your load Fuckerman.'' Harry sneered, crawling across the circle on all fours. Puck met him half way, and after taking a moment to glare, Harry tilted his head and pressed their mouths together. Five seconds came and went entirely to quickly, leaving Puck pouting as they pulled away.

''You definitely use lip balm or something.'' Puck decided. ''No way do your lips taste like that naturally.''

''Bitch please, cosmetic enhancements are for lesser beings, and for Santana's dried out husk of a face.'' Harry retorted.

The dark haired boy grabbed the bottle for the second time, ignoring Santana's scathing comeback, and gave it a hard spin. When it finally halted, Harry scoffed in amusement at where it was pointing. ''Look at that, the power of wishful thinking strikes again.'' He teased, shooting Puck a meaningful look.

''It's not my fault that the universe totally loves me.'' The mohawked boy defended, as he clambered to his feet. ''C'mere baby and give Puckzilla some sugar.'' He prompted, crooking a finger in Harry's direction for a second time.

''I think I preferred it when Puck was after my girlfriends.'' Finn muttered, completely bewildered by his friend's behaviour.

''Is there something wrong with two boys kissing, Finn Hudson?'' Kurt spoke up warningly.

''No, but the last thing Harry needs is a muscular, violent, slave with impulse control issues.'' The taller boy explained to his stepbrother.

''Hmm, muscular slaves.'' Harry pondered thoughtfully. ''Why didn't I think of that?''

''Enough talk.'' Puck demanded, slinging an arm around the shorter boy's waist and tugging him forward.

''Don't forget to escalate.'' Tina reminded them eagerly. ''Ten seconds, and I expect to see tongue action!'' She commanded.

''You heard the lady.'' Puck said, willingly accepting his orders. He slowly lowered his head, until the tip of his nose was brushing against Harry's, who was smirking up at him.

''Round two, ding ding ding.'' The shorter boy singsonged.

''Shut up.'' Puck ordered, before surging forwards and making sure that Harry did exactly that.

The first kiss had been annoyingly short, lasting only long enough for a short press of mouths. This time Puck went straight for the kill, and slipped his tongue out to trace Harry's full bottom lip right off the bat. The dark haired boy immediately complied and parted his lips for the questing muscle, which wasted no time in plundering the unguarded cavern.

Puck didn't kiss anything like Harry had expected. He'd expected him to be all relentless force and wild aggression, but whilst it wasn't lacking the expected heat, it was still surprisingly tender. The passion was there though, in the way the larger boy encircled his waist, pulling them flush against each other. Even though Harry was used to taking the lead, he still slid his questing hands up Puck's firm torso and looped his arms around his neck, pulling him even closer. Say what you like about Noah Puckerman, but the insensitive asshole knew how to kiss.

''You guys can stop any time now.'' Blaine groused, snapping them out of their reverie.

Harry immediately pulled away, ignoring Puck's whine of protest and seeming completely unphased as he returned to his seat. Noah took a few moments longer to collect himself, but after a second of contemplation, he finally sat back down with a pensive expression on his face.

''Your turn again dude.'' Finn reminded his mohawk toting friend.

Puck blinked, returning from whatever smutty reality his brain had taken a detour to, and reached forward to give the bottle another spin. After he landed on Santana, and shared their first kiss of the game, the fiery Latina had her turn and ended up having what amounted to her third kiss with Blaine. After the pair finally pulled apart, and Santana released her grip on the boy's bow tie, Harry couldn't help but voice his opinion.

''That was fucking hot.'' He declared enthusiastically.

''Hobbit Warbler's got skills.'' Santana agreed, licking her lips lasciviously.

Blaine flushed slightly at the praise, but turned a deep shade of crimson from Harry's next words.

''Plus he's hung.'' Harry commented, whilst idly inspecting the label on a booze bottle. ''Is this crap Ukrainian?'' He sneered, trying to decipher the writing. After a few moments of silence he looked up to find everyone staring at him.

''What're you twats staring at?'' He demanded.

''What did you just say about Blaine?'' Kurt squeaked shrilly.

''You mean the hot thing, or the hung thing?'' Harry queried.

''The hung thing!.'' Nick pointed out with sadistic glee. ''Omg, Blainey got down and dirty!'' He crowed, causing his friend to turn an even deeper shade of red.

''Was I the only one who knew about that?'' Tina wondered, glancing around the circle in bewilderment.

''I knew.'' Luna volunteered.

''I know all and see all.'' Santana added.

''I just thought they made out or something! I didn't realise they defiled the damn movie theatre.'' Mercedes pitched in, looking thrilled at the scandalous revelation.

''What the hell are you gossiping hens squawking about?'' Puck snapped. If looks could kill, then the Warbler would be six feet under from the eye balling the jock was giving him.

''Harry being a slut, and handing out oral sex like pieces of candy.'' Santana callously revealed.

''Dude, I so don't need to hear this!'' Sam protested, leaping to his feet.

''Ditto, my blood alcohol ratio isn't high enough yet.'' Mike agreed.

Finn rose to join them and quickly grabbed the back of Artie's chair, dragging the other boy along with them to the table serving as the impromptu bar area. Jeff made a valiant attempt to follow them, but was immediately pulled back into his seat by Nick.

''Details!'' Quinn insisted, as soon as the reluctant males were gone.

''What do you want, a play by play?'' Harry mocked.

''Screw that, I wanna see pics or I won't believe it happened, in which case you'll have to do it again under my careful supervision.'' Tina purred.

''Harry!'' Blaine whined, hiding his face in mortification. The green eyed boy glanced at him, before sighing and complying with the Warbler's unspoken request.

''Shut your noise holes, you're embarrassing Blainey bear.'' Harry chastised them all. ''Plus I don't have any pics of it.'' He belatedly added.

''Boo!'' Mercedes heckled.

''I've got a picture of Noah stark naked and soaking wet?'' Harry offered as a compromise.

''Deal!'' Tina agreed, eagerly reaching for Harry's proffered phone.

''I've already seen the goods, but a bit of revision never hurt anyone.'' Quinn pitched in, moving behind the other girl to see it better.

''Who's Noah?'' Nick piped up curiously.

''I am!'' Puck snarled, glaring at the girls as they scrolled through Harry's phone.

Nick paused at that revelation, giving the McKinley boy a lingering look, before climbing to his feet and sitting down next to Tina. ''Let the show begin.'' He chirped, craning his head and looking over the girl's shoulder.

''Harry!'' Puck growled, advancing on the other boy threateningly, assuming that he'd be an easier target for his aggression than a bunch of horny chicks.

''Don't blame me for this, it's your fault for using communal showers in the first place.'' The dark haired Brit pointed out.

''I didn't ask you to get in with me.'' Puck protested, as he began to regret ever letting the other boy snap a picture of him.

''Mores the pity.'' Harry teased flirtatiously

''You were in the shower with him?'' Blaine asked, shooting Puck a poisonous look.

''Only in the physical sense.'' Harry uselessly reassured him.

''You went down on him in a cinema?'' Puck queried accusingly.

''Only in the physical sense.'' Harry repeated, receiving a glare from both boy's for his response.

''Couldn't you have kept that whole thing to yourself?'' Blaine whined pitifully. Not that he really regretted doing it, but it was still embarrassing and Kurt looked seriously pissed for some reason.

''Not bloody likely. Hermione probably has every piece of modern technology in my possession bugged somehow, so people would've found out when she posts her monthly newsletter anyway.'' Harry explained.

''Why are you complaining about it? We're guys, you're supposed to brag about that kind of stuff.'' Puck pointed out to the still flushed Warbler.

''Then why do you care that Harry is flashing around pictures of you?'' Blaine countered.

''Coz Puckzilla is a privilege that must be earned! Only a lucky few get the honour of seeing him, let along being in his presence.'' The jock asserted. His illustrious wang wasn't just for anyone after all.

Any further discussion was derailed by Tina, who had found even more interesting material on Harry's phone than a naked Puckerman.

''Why are there so many half naked photo's of you, and a smoking hot blonde girl, in various suggestive poses?'' The Asian girl wondered.

''Those are still shots from old photo shoots, that Narcissa blackmailed me into.'' Harry answered, whilst taking a hearty swig from a nearby bottle of rum.

''You were in Vogue! I completely forgot about that!'' Kurt piped up, momentarily setting aside his ire at both Harry and Blaine.

''Yeah, I can't believe I let her rope me into that one.'' Harry groused.

''Who's Narcissa?'' Quinn inquired, curious about the unusual name.

''She's a designer, as well as a callous, manipulative, vindictive, bitch, that has been known to spawn half-ferret demon babies.'' He answered.

''Designer? You mean Narcissa Malfoy?'' Kurt hissed disbelievingly.

Harry wrinkled his nose and gagged. ''Eww, don't say that surname!'' He complained. As far as he was concerned, she may as well be names Narcissa McScumpile.

''You know Narcissa-freaking-Malfoy?'' Mercedes demanded incredulously.

''That's sooo cool!'' Blaine enthused.

''Really? Please don't tell me, you guys are actually fans of that heinous bitch monster?'' Harry pleaded.

''I'm not, I don't even know who she is.'' Puck volunteered, wondering what the big deal was.

''That's because you're an uncultured buffoon.'' Kurt sniped. ''For you information, Narcissa Malfoy happens to be a creator of pure artistic genius!''

Harry snorted. ''If you say so. Personally I don't trust anything she creates, especially after the slap dash job she did with her twisted offspring. But if you guys want to meet her, then you can come with me to take Teddy back to his grandmother in New York.'' He offered.

''Teddy's grandma lives in New York?'' Blaine questioned. ''I figured he was British, like you and Luna.''

''Oh, he is.'' Luna piped up. ''But Andromeda is Narcissa's older sister, and she's in the city visiting her, so she dropped Teddy off here to see Harry.'' She explained.

''Your Godson is Narcissa Malfoy's great nephew? I wouldn't have thought she was old enough'' Kurt wondered, finally piecing together how the other boy knew the older woman.

''Yeah, she wishes.'' Harry snorted.

''That's cool and everything, but there's no way that I'm blowing my allowance on a weekend trip to New York.'' Mercedes reluctantly refused.

Harry shrugged. ''No problem, we get free air travel thanks to Luna, and free accommodation thanks to me. All you'd have to bring is yourselves and a bag of essentials.''

''And how do you two plan to wrangle us free travel and accommodation?'' Kurt sneered condescendingly.

''Simple. We're taking Luna's Jet, and I have a four bedroom penthouse apartment in the city.'' Harry revealed unconcernedly.

''What? How fucking rich are you guys?'' Tina blurted out, amidst the gaping mouths of the others. They'd all gotten the impression that Harry was fairly well off, and that he'd apparently attended a pretty swanky boarding school, but they didn't think that he and Luna were quite that loaded.

''Luna's father is the owner of Quibbler magazine, which publishes in the UK, Ireland, and Australia. They have a few planes on standby, just in case their journalists need them.'' Harry helpfully explained.

''And Harry's family have been in property development, ever since houses were being constructed out of mud and straw.'' Luna added.

''That still doesn't answer my question.'' Tina pointed out.

Harry sighed. ''Hold on a second.'' He grumbled, before snatching his phone out of her hands and scrolling through it for the required app. ''My account currently stands at...eight hundred and thirty two million, three hundred and seventy four pounds, and twenty seven pence.''

There was a brief moment of silence, though Nick, Jeff, and Blaine, only looked pleasantly surprised rather than shocked. They knew students at Dalton, who's parents could boast similar fiduciary status, Jeff's mother in particular. That amount of wealth was far more uncommon to the McKinley students and Kurt however, and they all stared for a minute or so, before everyone turned expectantly to Luna.

''I don't have nearly that much in my personal accounts. But if you added my daddy's net worth, to the money we make off of the patents for mother's inventions, as well as my own savings, then I'd estimate that our family is substantially more wealthy that Harry's.'' She mentioned thoughtfully.

''I didn't include the Black family assets with my bank statement. I manage those separately, and Andromeda has full access to them as well, but I'd hazard a guess that there's more money in the Black family coffers than in the Potter and Lovegood's combined.'' Harry added.

''Holy shit. Marry me?'' Puck asked.

''Which one of us are you talking to?'' Harry teased.

''Since we're apparently going to NYC, it doesn't really matter which one of you I get hitched to. Gay marriage is legal there right?'' Puck pointed out.

''Oh be still my beating heart.'' Harry deadpanned.

''We could seriously spend the weekend in Manhattan?'' Quinn double checked.

''Sure, if any of you feel like tagging along.'' Harry offered agreeably.

''I'm in, my parents should be fine with it, I go to visit my older brother in LA by myself all the time.'' Blaine pitched in.

''My ma won't care either. She really likes you, ever since you started showing up at my house uninvited, even though you know I'm not home.'' Puck agreed, narrowing his eyes at Harry. He had no idea how the green eyed psychopath had managed to charm his mum and sister into worshipping him, since it was doubtful that they held the same interest in him that Puck himself did. Though now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure that his sister had a little crush on him.

''I doubt my parents will let me go, without proper adult supervision.'' Mercedes grumbled.

''Mine won't either, and Mike's are even stricter.'' Tina muttered.

''My dad's should allow it, as long as there are enough of us going. They trust that I'm responsible.'' Rachel piped up.

''My parents have an apartment in NYC for my mum's business trips, so they probably won't care if I come.'' Jeff decided.

''Where he goes, so goes my nation.'' Nick added, as soon as his friend agreed.

''I'll ask my dad as soon as I get home!'' Kurt informed them, with determination. His father would agree, one way or the other. Plus he could always ask Carol, and it would be easier to get permission if his father knew that Finn would be accompanying him.

''Okay cool, just let me know who's in and who's out before next Friday.'' Harry told them, as he bounced to his feet. ''Right now, it's time to get my groove on. Santana put on some tunes!'' He requested.

''Oh, oh! Let's do karaoke!'' Rachel begged.

''You losers do that, I'm setting up a round of beer pong.'' Puck scoffed.

''I'll play with you!'' Finn volunteered.

Quinn sat back and observed, as the party sprang back to life. She was lightly buzzed, but only enough to have fun, not enough to do something she might regret later. However it didn't look like any of the others were planning to restrain themselves apart from Kurt.

Watching everyone start really getting into the swing of things, made her curious about how the evening would end up. Something was always bound to happen, when a group of rampant teenagers got out of control. The question was, how amusing would that something be?

Harry came to a lot slower than he usually did. Normally he was a fairly light sleeper, and rarely had trouble getting up in the mornings. His sluggishness suggested that alcohol, or other substances, were probably involved. After a few moments of consideration, he remembered going to Rachel's house, but the memories of the party were still hazy and disjointed. He was sure that they would return soon enough however. At least he didn't have a headache, thanks to his hard earned resistance to most toxins.

Without even opening his eyes, he could tell that he was at home by the scent of his fabric softener on his bed sheets, and the familiar comfort of his water filled mattress. Knowing that he was in a safe place prompted him to relax again. He shuffled slightly, burrowing deeper into his comforter with a sigh of contentment, and pressing back firmly against the warm body behind him.

Harry froze, at the sudden realisation that he wasn't sleeping alone. The feel of the warm weight laying flush up against him, and the arm wrapped around his waist, indicated that whoever was behind him was male. And possibly naked. He was just about to risk opening his eyes, and inching round to catch a glimpse of his new cuddle buddy, when the bed shifted in front of him and something brushed up against his chest.

Harry's eyes snapped open, and he bolted upright, startling the other two members of the bed with his sudden movement. Harry took a moment to notice his own state of undress, before turning to the two sets of wide eyes staring right back at him.

''Oh bugger.''

Santana groaned as the morning light trickled in through the nearby window, searing it's way through her eyelids.

''Fucking sun. You're next on my shit list!'' She grumbled.

A sleepy moan emerged from the pile of blankets next to her, distracting the former cheerleader from her thoughts of annihilating the centre of the solar system. She sat up slightly in the bed, catching a peak of blonde hair poking out of the covers.

She grinned, and slowly pulled the bedding down, but froze in disbelief at who was hidden under it.

''Damn, I'm good.''

Mike had been to plenty of high school parties. He was fairly popular, even with being a member of the glee club, and he'd done plenty of crazy stuff with the guys on the team over the past few years. But waking up in a shuddering train compartment, with his crippled friend, was definitely a new one.

''Artie?''

''Yeah dude?''

''I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.''

''That's not what that sign we just passed says.''

''Aww fuck.''

Luna blinked blearily as she awoke. Her blurred vision, and the unpleasant taste in her mouth, leant credence to the theory that she had been incapacitated by a Chlorophormic Assbungler. But she was quite certain that such creatures didn't live in suburban homes, such as the one she now found herself in. And they mostly preyed upon young men. Perhaps the family cowering in the corner could provide her with answers?

''Excuse me, would you happen to be Chlorophormic Assbunglers?'' She inquired of the man, who was crouching protectively in front of a woman and two children.

''Please, just take whatever you want and get out of our house!'' He pleaded desperately.

''Are we going to die mummy?'' One of the children sniffled.

''Yes baby, we'll be with grandma very soon.'' The woman sobbed.

Luna stared at the terrified family, before casting her gaze around the room, at all of the overturned furniture and damaged crockery.

''Americans really are rather barmy.'' She noted, before following the man's advice and selecting a nearby vase, which she picked up carried out the door with her with a skip in her step. ''They didn't even offer me breakfast.''

AN/ What happened to everyone? Where have they all ended up? Has anyone done anything that they shouldn't have? Next chapter will have the convoluted and crazy retelling of what they got up to, and what the consequences will be. Plus Sexual Education, and the lovely Holly Holiday will be paying a visit!

Tell me your thoughts, and what you think might have happened to the respective glee clubbers. If anyone has something they think would be hilarious to put into 'Flashbacks and Fakeouts', then feel free to ask.