CHAPTER ELEVEN: CHOICES

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"I'm gon' take the shot."

Despite his words the gunshot I expect to follow his words never comes. The engulfing light grows ever so closer, so slowly for a moment I question if it's really growing at all. Evony says several times to shoot. For me to make the call. I guess she still hasn't gotten over the fear of a mortal life. Lauren just says my name softly in that way she does from time to time. The way that says I'm with you either way, but to be sure. I want to make the call, the problem is I just don't know which one. Two little voices in the back of my mind quickly making their argument for each choice. Screw it, logic nor caution has ever been my niche.

"Hold." Left hand raising as my feet begin taking cautious steps forward before I've realized I've made a decision.

I'd swear it takes me a life time to get near the car. I hear Theo yell out something about me and the light. All I can really hear though is the sound of the snow crunching beneath my boots. And of course the racing heart that's threatening to pound out of my chest.

Stepping to the side, outside of the brunt of the light my eyes find the driver's side window. Racing heart dropping into my stomach as I lose my breath. Hand pulling at the handle before a conscious thought can be formed.

"It's Mark!" Revelation yelled as I pull him from the car, dead weight slipping from my hands. "Oh God." Eyes running over him, hands hovering over his face afraid to touch the bloody mess that's been left for us, for me to find.

"I don't see anything." Theo now by my side, rifle aimed out into the darkness of the woods, but there's nothing.

A muffled whisper causes me to jump, attention falling back to Mark. His eyes slowly fluttering open. His hand grabs my wrist with enough speed, enough strength that I jump ever so slightly again.

"N-ot mine."

"What?"

"He's saying it's not his." Lauren's broken whisper rips my attention away from Mark.

Somewhere in the commotion I had lost track of her. She had managed to make it behind me, blood over her forearms and I can't breathe. She's sitting there in the snow, Evony standing behind her and for a moment I can't process why Evony isn't doing anything. For me? She won't lift a finger. For Lauren? She would, well I don't honestly know what she would do, but it would be something.

Then it dawns on me, Mark can't be covered in her blood. A wave of relief that's cut short as I realize she has Vex in her lap. It's him who is covered in blood. It's his blood that's covered Mark and now Lauren.

"Th-there we too many." Mark's voice falls to deaf ears.

"I-is he?" It's all I can manage to get out as I crawl the short distance to her. The icy sting spreading over my hands as they sink within the snow fading away as I watch the pain weave itself into her features. "Lauren?"

"It's weak."

"Hey." My hand cupping her cheek, bringing her face up to meet my eyes. "It's okay. I can fix this."

"Bo." She whispers my name, hand gripping my shoulder preventing me from leaning down. Confusion surely written over my face as I stare into her teary eyes, searching for an answer.

"I can fix this."

"I-I know." She nods, tears finally slipping from the corners of her eyes.

"Help him!" Mark groans out, but my eyes never leave hers. "Help him dammit! Save him!"

"I love him. I love him Bo." Her voice breaks on every other word, twice on my name. "But not as much as I love you."

"Lauren…I can fix this." I'm nearly pleading myself now.

"Don't you let him die." Mark's threat nearly drowned out in his own groan. "Dammit Bo." This time there's base in his voice, as he grabs my arm, jerking me back enough to look at him. Never more than in this moment has he reminded me of his father.

"Mark—"

"It's not her call to make. It's yours!"

"Mark-." This time it's Lauren who tries, her hand stroking Vex's hair.

"Shut up! You don't get to say anything when you're willing to let him die!"

"He knew the risks." Theo says as gently as he can manage.

"No! No, I refuse. I refuse. You can save him. You can. Just—do it. Or will you let another friend die while you stand by and do nothing."

The image of Hale seems to slam into me like a freight train. The image of Kenzi there a broken shell on the kitchen floor begging me the same way he's doing now. The sound of her cries overlapping with his. The heartbreak once written over her face blending with his. Memory and reality becoming all too woven together. An echo of my words to her lingering in the back of my mind, the start of what I go to say to him. I fall silent though.

"We were…He thought I didn't love him anymore. I-I-I thought I didn't. We weren't okay. We haven't been. B-but now…I can't lose him. I can't. He's the love of my life. Do you get that? I didn't know what that meant until now. You can't let him die. You can't." His words and cries overlap one another, making it hard to completely make out his words. It's doesn't matter. I know what he's saying. I know what he's pleading. If it were me in his shoes and Lauren in Vex's, it would be the same. Well, the last part anyway. "He can't die. Not like this. Not thinking I don't love him. That this wasn't real."

"I can't." My eyes shifting from him to Lauren and back.

"Because of her? Because of-"

"Because it takes a considerable amount to bring someone back from this far gone. Even if I could survive it Mark, neither me nor him would be strong enough to fight Kostas. We have to think—"

"Screw the bigger picture!" He grabs my arm again, jerking me with a surprising force. His eyes changing the way I've seen his father's do a million times over.

"Rethink that line of thought pup." Eyes shifting to the barrel of the gun now pointed at Mark's back.

"Theo." I shake my head slightly, attention shifting back to Mark. Hands cautiously coming up to cup his cheeks. "Vex despite first, second, third and fourth impressions turned out to be a hero in his own right. He wouldn't throw away all of our chances of survival. Your chance. Your father's chance. The world's chance of survival, for himself."

"You're wrong!" He snaps, jerking me again, but I don't look away. "He'd want to live."

"Not at this price." Evony says softly, genuinely. "I've known him a lot longer than you. The old him and the new. The crazy and the less crazy. He's never loved anything like he has being a part of this," She hesitates, features scrunching as she tries to push back tears. "family. And he's never loved anything more than you Mark."

"It should be you," Lauren stops, gently scooting back from Vex until he's lying on the ground rather than her lap. "In his final moments. It should be you holding him. Not me."

I tense as he gets this look, part of me thinking he's actually going to go for Lauren. I'm going to have to explain to his father that I couldn't stop Theo from shooting. That I couldn't stop myself from putting Lauren's life above his son's. But instead of going for her, he turns to me, staring me dead in the eyes with a rage I don't think I've seen before.

"I will never forgive you for this." His voice quivers, but there's a jagged edge to every word. I know he means it. I know now that no matter what, there's a part of him that I will never get back. Just like there's a part of Kenzi I'll never get back.

He crawls the few feet to replace Lauren. Every breath taken, every quiet sob escaping pulling the memory of Hale and Kenzi right back again. A sense of forgiveness I had granted myself quickly slipping away in a matter of seconds.

"Take what you need." Dyson's voice cuts through the air like razorblades on a chalkboard. He's standing there stoic as ever, the missing members of our band of misfits behind him. "Take what you need." He repeats himself, staring me down as he takes another step forward.

"Dyson." His name a sigh as I force myself up.

"Don't."

"You need to think about this." I warn, closing the distance between us. "Dyson this is-."

"Take. What. You. Need." It's not a plea or a question It's not even a request anymore but an order. I feel inclined to remind him I don't take orders anymore, but I can't. I can't seem to find any words.

I know what he's asking me to do and he knows what he's asking me to do. After all it is Dyson. Dyson who needs to be the hero and save the day. Dyson who must always show off and look good while doing it. Dyson the hero we love to hate or hate to love. Something like that. But staring up into his eyes now, I don't think he's any of that. I honestly don't think I know this Dyson. The father who will do anything to end his son's pain, even if it is to save a man he's never liked.

My eyes shift to Lauren for a moment, a single moment of solace. I don't need her permission despite what anyone thinks. Hell, I don't really want permission. I don't need her to sign off on any decision. I don't need any of it. But I do want it. I want to be able to look at her as she stares back at me and see nothing has changed. I want to be able to see that same look of love and acceptance and total faith. And now, even through the pain it's still there.

"I'm sorry." My own whisper cut off as I pull the chi from his body at a rate alarming to myself. His body falls, but I can't focus on that now. Now all I can do is drop to my knees, cup Vex's face as I pass the chi right to him.

For a moment there's nothing. No movement. No sound. In fact I think the snow's even halted. And then there's a collective sigh of a relief as Vex's eyes open. A sigh that's echoed as Dyson groans when Kenzi and Ayesha start to pull him up. And then for a moment there's a sense of peace. What's left of us is still here, still alive. We may be beaten and broken, but we're still here.

And then the moment is gone.

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9:27 p.m.

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"It's easy to forget sometimes." I say gently, handing the lump on my couch another smoothie Lauren had managed to concoct for him.

"What?"

"That a father's love is supposed to be unconditional."

"Trick's love for you was-."

"He wasn't my father." I take a seat next to him, despite the glare his features are fixed in. "And as much as I love him, let's face it, his love for my mother was not exactly unconditional."

"He put the good of many above the good of a few, that doesn't mean his love wasn't unconditional. I would have done the same."

"Yes, it does." I meet his eyes, smiling gently. "The good of many would have been to let Vex die. To lose one over risking two. To weaken yourself and have him weak but alive."

"You dare to judge me on making emotional decisions Bo?"

"No Dyson, I'm just trying to tell you that despite everything that's happened between us, I think you've become a great father."

"But a shit champion."

"Which would you rather die being?"

"I don't plan on dying tonight." He snarls, finishing off the third glass of that sludge. "Do you?"

"No, but I'd rather die a great parent than champion."

"Then maybe you shouldn't be leading us tonight." He pushes himself up, he's better than he was but still nowhere near where I need him to be. "Lauren." Her name said through a clenched jaw as they pass each other.

"Do I want to know?" She asks, taking his recently vacated seat.

"He doubts I should be leading tonight."

"And do you?"

"At this rate I vote we put Ayesha in charge." I chuckle, letting my eyes close as I rest my head against the back of the couch.

"Bo."

"No babe, I don't doubt I should be leading us. I'm just…tired."

"There's an energy drink in the fridge."

"That's not what I meant." My eyebrow raises, eye opening slightly to get a look at her. Small smile on her lips, but there's a weight to it. "Vex understands."

"I know, we talked."

"Then you…"

"We all make choices my love, it's the living with everything that comes after that is the hard part." Her words trail as her smile fades, but she takes my hand giving it a light squeeze. Her attention shifting to…well something other than me. She looks around the room slowly and maybe she's just thinking or maybe saying goodbye.

It's funny, I bitched so much about leaving this place. About losing this place and everything in it. And now, though through an unfortunate chain of events I get a chance to say goodbye. And yet, I can't tear my eyes from her.

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10:16 p.m.

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"Stop the car." I order, bringing us to abrupt stop. The tires skidding slightly. Mark's car swerving out beside us, guess he didn't bother getting snow tires. Slight smirk tugging at the corner of my mouth.

"What is it?" Lauren asks, glance over at me and all I do is point out the window to the Gillard farm in the distance. "Oh."

"What the shit is it now?" Ayesha's voice carries even through the closed windows, Theo jumping slightly as she slams her hands down on his windows.

"Everyone wait here." I say as I get out of the truck. "I mean it." I look back at the group now making their way out of the cars. "It could be a trap."

"It's the only place in fifty miles that has light, no shit it's a trap." Evony snorts.

"They could have a generator." Mark volunteers, Vex shaking his head to him.

"The lake is just around the bend. We are so close to getting Dagny back."

"Ayesha, I get you want your woman back. We all want to get her back. And stop the end of the world too. But please make like a double stuffed gator."

"Wh-what? What does that even mean? What does half of the shit you even say mean anyway?" She barks back at Theo.

"I think he means you need to calm down and that wouldn't be a bad idea." Mark chirps in.

"That's enough." Lauren sighs, attention drifting to the mini brewing riot.

"Okay, well I'm just gonna," I pointlessly gesture behind myself to the farm. "Yeah okay." Laughing to myself I turn around leaving the howler monkeys to bicker.

I should be pissed or at the very least upset that the fate of the world is on the line and they can't go five minutes without arguing. But truth be told, at the moment the distraction works in my benefit. Immaturity has it's perks I guess, I should point that out to Lauren.

Another chuckle escapes as I shove my hands in my jacket, making my way across the field. Snow crunching beneath my feet with every step, its turning to ice. Maybe the hell demons will feel the cold and say screw it. Or maybe I should be a bit more focused and cracking less jokes to myself.

Nearing the farm, hands drop to my sides. Another chill shooting down my spine, but this time it's something more than the temperature dropping. The barn door is open halfway, just enough to peek someone's interest, not enough to see in.

"So, trap it is."

The door creeks as I pull it open, a surefire way to let anyone and everyone know I'm here. Yep, trap with an alarm. Thought I would have outgrown walking into these. Despite the house having light, there isn't a bit here. Nothing other than a cloud obstructed moon seeping through the cracks in the wood to guide my way. I should have put a bow on myself at this rate.

It doesn't take but ten seconds or rather eight steps into the darkness before I find myself being picked up and then thrown through the air. A wood beam kind enough to stop me from going too far. Groan unintentional as I hit the floor.

"Really don't have more time for flunkies." I look up at him, shaking my head more with impatience and annoyance than anything. Hands pressing to the ground, readying to stand. "Let's make this quick…or let's not." I snort, as he falls to the ground. Eyes on the blade of an axe stuck in the back of his head, up the long red handle to Lauren's legs. "I did say to stay there, right?"

"When do I ever listen?"

"Hey!" I laugh, brushing myself off as I stand. "That's my line."

"We're practically married Bo, what's yours is mine."

"And yours is mine?"

"Um, no." She shakes her head. "I don't share my Star Trek collection with anyone."

"You are one of a kind." Smile half forced as I look down at Mr. Gillard. Or rather, what was once him. "Interesting trap. He would have had to know this wouldn't do much."

"He's leading us in the way he wants."

"What?"

"The cars, they died." She sighs. "The engines just died. The boys did their macho act, looked under the hoods but they're dead. Theo pointed out we could cut through, hit the lake on the west side."

"Instead of coming up on the north." I nod, sighing. "We should have just kept going."

"Bo, the cars could have died just the same."

"Or they might not have."

"Or they might not have, we won't know. All we can do is push on."

"I don't suppose if I ask nicely that you'll…"

"Let Evony and Vex take me away?"

"Not a chance, huh?"

"No Bo, not a one." She smiles, taking my hand.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"So stubborn." She flashes me that smile once more, turning to walk away but I can't help myself. I pull her back, to me. Arms wrapping around her, lips finding hers effortlessly. It's chaste and quick, and in a way ill-timed but that's us. There are moments with us when the word just pauses and it's just us.

This can't be the last one of those…it can't be.

Without a further word she leads me out of the barn to our waiting bunch of warriors. Our hands fall apart as we step out into the pale moon light, clouds having drifted away for the moment. We press on the way we do. Somewhere along the way I make my way in front of them, Lauren and Theo just behind me. For a while I wonder when it stopped being Kenz at my side with Lauren, but then the screaming silence pulls at my attention and it's just another thought lost.

I keep waiting for the bickering to start back up. Waiting to hear something other than the sound of snow beneath our shoes. The sound of our breaths labored as the temperature continues to plummet.

And then suddenly none of it matters.

"Oh my God." Theo says, shoulder hitting mine as we pull to a stop like a train being pulled from behind.

Pure, untainted snow suddenly becoming something…different. The lake in front of us, welcoming us a dark black. Or at least it looks black. But there's parts, slivers even that when the mood makes it through the passing clouds, it's clear. I was mistaken, black isn't black, it's a maroon. Like coagulated blood, the air even has the scent. It's unmistakable. Impossible to describe, but once you know it, you never forget it. My eyes fall to the ground, to the toes of my shoes stopped just before white becomes red.

"What do we do Bo?" Kenzi the only one brave enough to ask. Some things don't change.

Choices are the easy part, it's what comes next that's the hard part.