The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga
By Queenie Z
Badass Is In The EYE Of The Beholder
"Hey, Time? How'd you lose your eye?"
Time froze, his popsicle only halfway to his mouth. How long had it been since that subject was breached? A few centuries, perhaps? "…Who told you about that, Red?"
Red sulked, fearing that he had gotten the elder Hero angry. "Um… we heard Twilight talking about how you only had one eye when he first saw you."
Of course, he thought, Twilight would go around telling the others those kind of things. He always did like embarrassing him. Time turned to his left, where Green and Vio were sitting. "Is that true, you guys?"
They nodded, munching on their own popsicles. "We're just curious," said Green between licks.
"Well," sighed the older Link, "you heard right. Before I died, I lost my right eye to a peahat."
"A peahat?" asked Blue incredulously, "You mean those little pineapple-looking things? They couldn't hurt a fly!"
"Back in my day they could." Time stretched his free arm upwards to prove his point. "See, when I was alive, peahats were the scourge of Hyrule Field. They could grow to be the size of two men, or even bigger! And their propellers were sharp - they've been known to chop armored soldiers into tiny pieces!"
"That's scary!" whimpered Red.
Vio tilted his head. "So what happened to you, then?"
"I was a knight back then, and I was leading a squad to take care of a peahat colony that was causing trouble." He shook his head. "One of the men was careless, and he lost his arm to one. I was trying to drag him to safety while the others covered me… but those peahats, they didn't want him to get away."
"So it flew into your face?" asked Green with a look of dread.
Time nodded. "I'm lucky it didn't decapitate me."
Growing restless, Blue grimaced. "And you just let it get away after doing that to you!?"
"Of course I didn't!" Time finished up his popsicle and fiddled with the stick. "As soon as I was sure the others were safe, I hunted that bastard all over the field." He closed one eye, holding the popsicle stick like it was an arrow knocked in an invisible bow. "Even though I only had one eye, it didn't stand a chance - I wasn't going to let it have the satisfaction of blinding the Hero of Time for long!" He let go of the stick, letting it fall to the ground rather unceremoniously. "…And then I took its body back and let my squad roast it for dinner."
Red's eyes began to sparkle. "That's amazing, Time! No wonder Twilight looks up to you so much - you're so cool!"
Vio raised an eyebrow. "You ate it? I think you made that part up."
"I did not!" Time pouted. "When have I ever lied to you guys?"
Green began to snicker. "Well, I guess that peahat really earned your - " he paused for effect, "eye-re if you decided to eat it like that…!"
With a groan, Vio took Green's popsicle and shoved it in his mouth. "Don't speak," he spat out curtly. The others laughed.