Disclaimer: I don't own it, I just ship it

Warning: AU, strong language, boy x boy pairings, violence (more so bullying in the beginning), and because this was inspired by the manga Iris Zero, there may be some minor spoilers for it.

Humor-centered chapters, how I've missed you… Hopefully the size makes up for the long wait. Real life has been kicking my ass lately :/

oOo

"Ooh, Lovi, aren't you excited about this?!" Feliciano was practically bouncing up and down as he finished packing alongside his brother.

"Thrilled…"

"Ve~ I've never been to a Student Council retreat…I bet it'll be lots of fun!"

"Almost as much fun as getting teeth pulled…"

Lovino still couldn't believe that Feliciano was going with them. Here, he had been looking forward to a weekend away from his hyperactive little brother too… Their stupid Nonno just had to go away on a business trip the same weekend as the Student Council retreat. The man didn't trust Feli to be left alone (a point Lovino couldn't exactly argue, knowing full and well his idiot fratello would get in a car with a stranger if he was offered enough pasta) and insisted Lovino take him along with. The Commissioner was still a little annoyed by this, but the others seemed fine with it; especially after Feli promised to make them all snacks for the meeting. Damned traitors.

Nervously, the older Italian checked his watch. In about 20 minutes or so, they'd meet the others at World Academy and drive to the hotel together. Lovino normally wouldn't have cared too much (provided his iPod was loud enough to drown out the other occupants of the van), but Alfred being Alfred had thrown him through yet another loop the previous night.

"Stupid hamburger bastard…"

oOo

"Hurry up, Dad! I wanna get there extra early!" Alfred exclaimed, dashing into the large van they rented for the occasion. He had already loaded his bags in it over an hour ago.

"Hold your horses, Al!" Ethan Jones tried to get his overly excited son to calm down a little. "Don't you want to check to make sure you didn't forget anything?"

"Nah, I'm sure it's fine!" the younger Jones waved off his concerns. "I wanna get there sooner, so you can meet everyone!"

At the last minute, Ethan had offered to drive them to the hotel site to squeeze in more quality time with his son. Another perk was that he was replacing him as the driver (Ethan still wasn't sure he trusted his son behind the wheel, no matter how official that newly-acquired driver's license was). Alfred figured it would be the perfect time to properly introduce him to Lovi. He had told his dad about the spunky Italian before with great enthusiasm, but he wanted the dating announcement to be in person. Having had the whole thing sprung on him at the last second, Lovino was dreading the whole thing, so it was up to the Hero to get him to relax!

'Any chance I can just walk there myself, bastard?' Lovino had texted him.

'Chill dude. My old man's not anti-Iris Zero or anything.' Alfred texted back, even using halfway decent grammar to appease his boyfriend. 'and he didn't care Mattie was dating another guy. He's gonna love you I promise!'

'Won't that cause problems for our relationship, then?'

The blond snorted. There's the sarcastic Italian he loved so much. Still, he had a feeling Lovino was going to be worried until introductions were done and over with. The sooner, the better; which was why he was trying to get his dad to hustle without sounding suspicious. This was harder than Alfred thought. He was too excited to introduce Lovino to his family, so they could see how amazing the guy was too.

Finally, after what felt like hours (five minutes), the Jones men were hitting the road. They arrived at World Academy's large, mostly empty parking lot shortly after. Not surprisingly, Kiku was already there and readjusting his organized travel bag. What did surprise Alfred was the fact that both Vargas brothers had beat the super-punctual Ludwig. He knew from plenty of firsthand experience that the Italians didn't often show up anywhere on time. They arrived to everything fashionably late or not at all. After the initial surprise set in (and the van had almost come to a complete stop), Alfred tore open the door and bounded over to Lovino.

"Hey, Dad! This is Lovino!" Alfred patted the anxious brunet on the back, trying to will him some of his own enthusiasm.

"It's good to meet you, son," Ethan clapped Lovino on the shoulder without missing a beat. "Thanks for putting up with my brainless boy here!"

"E-Eh?" the Italian responded in confusion. He thought Mr. Jones would be more upset or pulling out a shotgun at the very least.

"Hey! I am not brainless!" Alfred argued.

"You are if you thought this was all supposed to be a surprise," Ethan rolled his eyes.

"Have you been spying on me or something?!" his son's eyes widened in panic. Had his top-secret hiding spot for the Tomato Note been compromised? Who sold him out?!

"The way you've gone on about him, I figured Lovino was either your boyfriend or your imaginary friend," grinned Ethan, patting Lovino's shoulder again, barely containing his laughter. "Although his eyes are pretty dreamy."

"I-I never said that!" Alfred blushed furiously. Or at least, he'd never said it quite like that.

The others laughed at their leader's expense and loaded up their bags. Once the final stragglers arrived, they all piled into the car. During the road trip, Ethan was more than happy to tell Lovino lots of embarrassing stories about Alfred as a kid. On more than one occasion, Arthur chimed in or refreshed Ethan's memory about further blackmail. The other passengers had a good laugh at all the stories…everyone except Alfred. He couldn't figure out exactly when the tables had turned on him. Somehow Lovino was cool as a cucumber, while he was a wreck.

"Oh! Let me show you some of these pictures of Alfred as a toddler!" Ethan reached into his pocket and handed a small stack of photos over to Lovino, who got to sit shotgun. "This is when we went fishing at the park and Alfred had his own ideas about what 'live bait' meant. Heh, as you can see, he wasn't the brightest two-year-old in the bunch."

Alfred knew it was bad when Lovino couldn't even make fun of him because he was laughing too hard. Kiku also expressed interest in the pictures, leaning forward to catch a glimpse. The pissed-off blond pulled his Japanese friend back by the collar and resumed complaining.

"Why do you even have those on you in the first place?!"

"Every good dad has pictures of his children…"

"You're a terrible dad…"

"I'm a great dad!"

"You used to tell me ice cream trucks only played music when they were out of ice cream!"

The others had a good laugh at that, even Ludwig cracked a smile. It was all too easy to picture a kindergarten version of Alfred wiping crocodile tears off his pudgy cheeks and dramatically running away from the confused ice cream vendor, who had been trying to sell him a popsicle. After another hour of this and Alfred was ready to snap. Not even calling Matthew for back-up helped, since the suck-up took their dad's side. Instead of chiding their terrible father as Alfred had hoped, his not-so-loyal brother got him started in on the time Alfred nearly wet his pants during his first visit to the dentist. By the end of the ride, Alfred was the one stressed (and convinced he was qualified to have an aneurysm without using his Iris) while Lovino was feeling much more relaxed around Ethan. Alfred quickly ushered the Student Council members to the check-in desk, insisting to his dad he could leave anytime now. Instead, he offered to give Feliciano a ride to the grocery store, so the designated snack chef could pick up what they needed.

oOo

The hotel serving as the meeting place for all of the Student Council groups was large and grand. Luxurious furniture with distinct earthly toned patterns lined the main lobby. Fancy vases with eye-catching flower arrangements were displayed around the entire room. An elegant chandelier hung above that, its delicate glass trimmings twinkling in the sunlight. The front desk was a long section of finished oak, polished to perfection. Even the hallways leading to their destination were trimmed with immaculate woodwork and classic paintings and prints.

Of course, all the boys really got out of that was the wi-fi password and directions to the indoor waterpark for later.

Once inside the Conference Room, Ludwig looked around at all the other refined, professional-looking groups…and then his. Lovino was sitting on Alfred's lap because his chair mysteriously vanished (Ludwig strongly suspected Kiku was involved somehow) and kept himself busy by loudly arguing/complaining with Arthur. The chair-thief and Alfred were going over superhero stats instead of their presentation topic. Alfred was so caught up in discussing Batman's cape, that he didn't even notice Kiku secretly taking pictures on his phone. Ludwig could only sigh and try to make his group look better after a few other Student Council representatives walked past and giggled at them.

The German got another chair, put it far away from Arthur, picked Lovino up and dropped him into it. Ignoring the squabbling, Ludwig then sat between Alfred and Kiku, taking the dark-haired boy's camera too. Kiku pretended to be distraught to distract from the fact he had two spares on his person. He wasn't vice-president of the SHIP club for nothing!

Behind them, several other students looked on in a mixture of awe and confusion. It wasn't that rare to see a few oddballs at gatherings like this here and there, but an entire group of them? The World Academy reps stood out like a polar bear in a desert at high noon. A group of Student Council members wearing heavy woolen uniforms walked past and couldn't help but stare.

"They seem…strange," one of the girls arched an eyebrow.

"Strange is an understatement…"

"Hmm…I think they seem like a fun group…" the tallest boy chuckled, his scarf trailing behind him.

"Is that what you think or what your Iris wants you to think?"

"Oh, shut up, idiot," the final member spoke up. "It's not like our President has ever been wrong before."

oOo

The presentations leading up to World Academy were nothing noteworthy. Many of the schools followed the same outline of stating their school, introducing each Student Council member, and talking about something they did that made them great. As the rest of the planet followed a different set of standards than World Academy, 'being great' usually meant academic success, meeting a politician, or hosting a sub-standard school dance. A few groups had packets for the others to look over during their 15 minutes of fame and a few more made a boring powerpoint show. Sometimes the roles changed slightly, such as adding a Student Affairs Manager or a Media Specialist, but the majority of the groups consisted of a President, Vice-President, Treasurer, and Secretary. If they were lucky, each member took turns talking; otherwise it was just the President yammering on for the entire time.

Just as Alfred felt his eyes drooping, one of the hotel coordinators informed the students that there would be a 20 minute break to give everyone a chance to use the bathroom, visit the snack table, and stretch their legs. The blond decided to do all of the above. There was only so much 'Hi, my name is Dull McBoring from the International School of Snoozing and I'm here to talk to you about test scores' he could take.

Lovino had been in a similar boat of fighting off sleep. Sitting next to Kiku while he was in Honor Student Mode was the definition of lackluster. He would have much preferred to sit by Alfred to avoid boredom from setting in. Hell, he would have even stayed on his lap despite the extra attention it drew if it meant having someone to entertain him through boring presentation after boring presentation.

Lovino made his way over to the table of refreshments to get a drink. As he was debating between coffee and bottled water he noticed a girl slowly edge his way out of the corner of his eye. The brunet turned to face her while she shyly continued to walk over.

"U-Um, excuse me…" she mumbled, her hands twisting her sweater nervously. "I was w-wondering if I could ask you something…"

"Ask away," Lovino flashed her a warm smile. He didn't sense anything romantic in her intentions, so what was the worst that could happen?

"A-Are you Prince Romano?"

Lovino had been ready to be charming. He had been ready to be helpful. He'd even been ready to be sweet if it really came down to it. He had not been ready to be terrified.

The instant the deceptively timid girl asked that question, his blood ran cold. The last time he'd heard that name, he ended up running for his life in the subway. How was he supposed to escape in a crowded room this size? Even worse, how many more like her were there? Every girl that looked his way now became a suspect in his mind. Lovino was so caught up in trying to do threat-analysis, he completely missed Alfred's entrance until he was standing right next to him.

"What's up?" the cheerful American grinned. "You'd better not be cheating on me, Lovi~"

The blond planted a kiss on the side of his boyfriend's head. Lovino jerked away in a flash and hissed something about 'not feeding the fangirls' to Alfred. What caught him more off-guard was the fact that Lovino was giving him a scared look instead of an angry one.

"Oh, my god…Prince Merik…?!" the girl gasped, covering her mouth in surprise.

It then dawned on Alfred that they were completely and utterly screwed.

He nervously laughed, recalling the subway incident and mentally cursed Mei's incredible artistic ability. Even if Merman-Lovino looked amazing with a tail and fins, couldn't she have made the main leads of her Song of Storms doujinshi look a little less like them? Maybe give Merik a mohawk or tattoos or something?

"Lovino, let's just stay calm and back away sloooooowly, okay?" whispered Alfred.

The nervous boy at his side nodded slightly and followed his lead. Unfortunately, so did the fangirl.

"Th-There's so much I need to ask you…" she looked close to tears. "C-Can I take your picture?"

"Oh, god," mumbled Lovino. "That's how it starts…We need to find a way to immobilize her now."

"How?" Alfred asked, not keen on the idea of hitting a girl.

He was surprised to find Lovino's hands cupping his cheeks with a sudden urgency and bringing him in for a kiss. For a second, Alfred stood there in shock, but didn't object (or take too long before joining in). If anything, he only deepened the kiss until a shriek of sheer bliss was heard along with a thud. Lovino pulled away from him far too soon for his liking and both boys found themselves standing over the fallen fangirl.

"…Maybe we should help her?" the Hero was unsure of what to do.

"And risk waking her up? No way!" the normally chivalrous Italian shook his head. "You were there the last time. You saw how fast they bared their fangs."

"We can't just leave her here…"

"We won't," Lovino pulled aside a hotel employee. "Excuse me. This girl just complained about the heat and fainted. She needs help finding her way back to her room."

"Of course, right away, sir," he called over another red uniformed worker and they carried her towards the exit.

"And…done," the Commissioner decided to start walking off in the opposite direction. Alfred quickly caught up with him and squeezed his hand.

"Uh-oh…"

"What?!" Lovino looked around nervously, trying to pinpoint any threat he'd missed.

"I think I see another crazy fangirl!" Alfred barely contained his laughter through his insistent whispering. "Quick, we'd better kiss again if we want to get out of here alive!"

"Keep walking, idiot," the brunet hit him on the back of the head, ignoring the blush taking over his face.

oOo

Arthur and Ludwig might not agree on much, but one thing they did have in common was an appreciation for tradition and professionalism. To them, a good presentation consisted of being direct, showing statistics, and using comparison. Being inspirational was optional, but added a boost in morale when done properly. Given their rank at school, neither was a stranger to a well thought-out and organized speech. Outside school, they gained further experience through the occasional college lecture Ludwig helped give at various universities trying to recruit him and the many board meetings Arthur attended and led for his future company. Presentations were a place to display knowledge, power, and professionalism. They were not a place to show off laser light shows, techno music, and bizarre jokes.

They hoped to god Kiku knew what the hell he was doing.

Clad in a pair of matching sunglasses, Kiku dimmed the light show while Alfred greeted the audience with a string of opening jokes involving alternative uses for room service and only being in this for the waterpark event later. It had taken some convincing, but the duo was able to talk the hotel's convention specialists into lending them some music and lighting equipment for their presentation before they even arrived. Kiku wanted to stand out among the other countless schools presenting that day. Alfred wanted to have as much fun as humanly possible.

"You have to dare to be different!" Alfred exclaimed. "Find a team that you can rely one, surround yourself with people who don't settle for any less than your best, and take time every day to prove to your school why they elected you in the first place!"

"Don't let yourself be limited by your age, abilities, or social status," Kiku took over. "At World Academy, we have assembled a team that can beat all of those odds by doing one simple thing—believing in each other."

"And together, we can pierce the heavens!" Alfred slammed his foot on a chair and pointed towards the ceiling.

The crowd was already enthralled. All eyes and ears were on the center of the room where the boys from World Academy stood. Alfred and Kiku soaked it up, their enthusiasm spreading across the room. Arthur shifted uncomfortably, not quite used to this kind of attention from a meeting. Or maybe it was the way his group chose to deliver their information? Because nothing says 'qualified honor students' like club music and smoke machines. Ludwig remained stoic. He had long since decided that his team's presentation logic was so warped and lost in its own insanity, that any attempts on his part to salvage whatever was left of their professionalism would only blow up in his face. Lovino just distracted himself by trying to determine when it was that Alfred's standard black shades had been switched with an oversized, orange, triangular pair. One does not simply start dating Alfred F. Jones without first becoming accustomed to a certain level of crazy.

"Statistics don't lie, folks!" grinned the President. "If you want to make a difference, you have to go out there and do something!"

"You can start by finding a topic that's important to you," nodded Kiku. "Perhaps academic achievement scores are dipping or student tardiness is on the rise at your school? Choose an area of improvement that matters to you and your team."

"Once you have your cause, you have to fight for it!" the blond boomed. "For example, we focused on reducing the level of bullying incidents at our school. We did a survey to find a starting point and get the initial numbers. Then we appointed an exceptional student to serve as our school's Police Commissioner."

"Dammit, Moon Moon…" Lovino hissed under his breath. He could feel heat rushing to his face.

"From there, he was given the power to create a Police force comprised of reliable students," Alfred proudly gestured to his embarrassed boyfriend (he added that bit after hearing his not-so-loving nickname resurface). "Commissioner Vargas here is now able to assess the individual bullying reports and delegate himself and his team to settle them promptly and non-violently."

Ludwig barely managed to muffle his snort.

"As you can see by this graph, bullying rates have gone down significantly since the establishment of the World Academy Police Force," Kiku used his laser pointer on the screen. "A 40% drop is the most significant decrease our school has ever seen since it was originally founded over 50 years ago."

"Our Student Council has made a huge impact on our school and you can too!" the President encouraged the crowd. "If you lack the confidence to believe in yourselves, believe in me! Believe in the Alfred who believes in you! Now go out there and make a difference!"

Thankfully, Kiku had managed to talk his friend out of finishing with a mic drop. As the entire convention hall applauded them, the boys from World Academy walked off the stage with class (and background music). By the time they resumed sitting in their designated area, several dozen students were still clapping and cheering for them.

Alfred was happy with how things went. Although, it may have seemed like something he pulled out of his ass, he'd actually done his fair share of researching the best method of presenting World Academy's information to the audience. He and Kiku took note of who their audience was, what they would be interested in hearing, how familiar they were with each topic, and how open they would be to the use of technology. The level of humor and special effects may have been too much for adults, but what the others failed to grasp was that this room was filled with a bunch of bored teenagers struggling to stay awake and/or look grown-up. Despite the fact that a lot of what they were telling the crowd was the same as so many other groups, they managed to be memorable. Music, lights, and jokes only benefitted their presentation by adding that extra zing that stood out from the others. People would leave here and remember them because they weren't afraid to stand out. And that was a presentation model Alfred could fully support.

A quick scan around the crowd showed Kiku how impressed most of the audience was with them. With their thoughts being like an open book to the Japanese boy, it wasn't hard to see the 'Wow!' 'Why didn't we think of doing that?' and 'They seem cool!' that popped up above several students. He smiled and made a mental note about it. This data was far more accurate than any survey he could ever give. Kiku dropped his eyes back to his paperwork when he read the thought bubble about 'Weren't those two guys the ones making out earlier?' being replaced with '…They should do it again.' Laughing for no apparent reason wasn't professional.

oOo

"Ugh, that was exhausting!" Arthur complained at the end of the meeting. He was more than ready to return to his hotel room to be treated with unrivaled comfort and a beautiful view of the cityscape far below him.

"No kidding, bastardo," agreed Lovino. "Any longer and I would have tried to find the fire alarm to save us all."

"C'mon, you two barely had to do anything at all besides stand there and look pretty!" Alfred joked.

"Which is why it was unfortunate that I stood next to you, git," his cousin smirked. "Do you have any idea how much extra effort I had to put into my appearance to make you seem halfway decent?"

"If anyone's a victim here, it's Lovino!" Alfred retorted. "He had to stand by you! If he had been any less charming and exotic, we'd all look like dogs!"

"Hey, bastard, when do we get to go to our rooms?" Lovino interrupted, trying to end another family feud before it began. When he noticed the look Kiku sent his way, he smacked him in the arm. "You know what I meant, dammit!"

"Actually, guys…we're not staying here," their President grinned widely.

"What?!" they all chorused.

"They filled up weeks ago, so I sold our spot to some other desperate group and used the money to buy us a campsite pass!"

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me…"

"Oh, come on, this will be way more fun than a boring hotel!" insisted the blond.

"Indoor waterpark!" Lovino argued.

"Gourmet food!" added Arthur.

"Free wi-fi…" even Kiku seemed dejected.

"What about provisions?" the easily adaptable Ludwig asked. "And housing? Will we be relying on natural resources?"

"Sort of," Alfred opened the doorway leading back outside. "See, I already packed tents, propane, and all kinds of equipment…And since I knew there'd be some complaints, I left Feliciano in charge of picking up the food we'd need."

"That little bastard was in on it too?!" snarled the older Vargas brother, fully prepared to strangle his fratello the next time he saw him.

"Whoa, whoa…he wasn't until my dad gave him the special list of instructions I left for him after we left for the meeting. He didn't know a thing until then!"

Feliciano watched the group trudge back to the rented van. Kiku looked remarkably composed while the two tsundere officers at his side looked absolutely miserable. Both were dragging their feet along with their bags. Alfred looked as energetic as ever, bag swung over his shoulder, happily chatting away with Ludwig, who seemed surprisingly into the whole 'living off the land' idea. Feli offered them a weak wave as they returned.

The group found their seats in the van once more and Ethan drove them twenty minutes down the road to the campgrounds. As soon as they cleared city limits, giant pine trees sprouted up around them. Mr. Jones turned onto a well-used dirt path that led to the campsite Alfred rented. Once the vehicle was parked, everyone pulled out their gear and Alfred showed off the secret compartment he hid the camping supplies in. It had everything they'd need to survive the night from sleeping bags to an industrial size can of bug spray. They would either kill every bug within a mile of their campsite or give themselves cancer inhaling the fumes. Ludwig and Feli were impressed. The others looked like they wanted to strangle Alfred with the tent rope.

"Well, you boys have fun!" Ethan waved from the van.

"Y-You're not staying?" Feliciano spun around in shock.

"I gotta catch my flight to my company's business meeting in Hong Kong," Ethan explained apologetically. Noting the fear creeping into the boy's eyes, he continued. "I have complete faith in my son's camping skills. I taught him and Matt everything they need to know to survive in the forest for weeks! And the reception out here is decent if you need to call someone for an emergency."

"Don't worry, Feliciano," Lovino patted his shoulder. "If worse comes to worse, we just need to get Alfred and Arthur to argue about something. That'll be enough to scare off any wild animal."

"That's true!" Mr. Jones laughed. "I knew you were a good match for my boy!"

Lovino tried to stammer his thanks, but felt like his face was on fire.

"Well, see you all later!" Ethan waved. "Have fun! Someone will be here to pick you up Sunday morning at ten! …Don't do anything stupid until then, Al!"

"Thanks, love you too, old man!" huffed his son. "Don't forget to bring me back a souvenir!"

oOo

Following Alfred's instructions, the group got camp set up. The President and Ludwig began putting together the giant 6-person tent with surprising efficiency. As long as instruction manuals and engineering were involved, the German was a happy camper. Feliciano organized the food, making sure that all the perishables made it into the coolers before they went bad. Lovino did his part by supervising. To both of their relief, they found a small visitor's center nearby to supply them with clean water, working bathrooms, and potentially traumatizing showers during their walk around the place. Kiku and the second tsundere kept busy by gathering firewood nearby. In about a half hour the Student Council campsite was completed and Feliciano had already started roasting dinner.

"Ve~ I've never been camping before," the younger Italian made conversation with his brother. "It's not really what I pictured, but it's fun!"

"Really? Because this is every bit the muddy, mosquito-infested, deathtrap I imagined it to be," Lovino responded, lazily.

A glance around the campsite showed off a modest clearing, just the right size for an RV or a couple of tents. It had rained recently, so there were a few mud puddles. Alfred had bags thrown at him when he suggested using those as a 'Slip-N-Slide' to have more fun than the waterpark visitors. The muggy weather had brought out the bugs, but many were already taken care of by some strategically placed Tiki Torches filled with enough citronella to make any insect think twice about invading this particular campsite. Only the occasional cloud of mosquitoes had been brave enough so far. The boys were more concerned that the muggy weather meant rain. They had all seen enough TV shows and movies about camping trips gone bad when it rained the entire time. Feliciano, Kiku, and Ludwig already had a betting pool on who would be the first one to snap and try to kill everyone.

"You could give me a hand, fratello…" Feliciano tried to guilt-trip him. When he had agreed to cook for the Student Council, he was under the impression he would have a fully-functional kitchen to do so.

"But we're camping, Feli. Don't you know that misery builds character?"

"It would make things go a lot faster."

"I am helping."

"How so?"

"Bug duty," Lovino responded, lifting up a burning branch in one hand and a bug spray can in the other. When a swarm of mosquitoes flew their way, he incinerated them by spraying the can into the tiny torch. This effectively created a mini-flamethrower and a pile of dead bugs…or their ashes, anyway.

"…Try not to cause a forest fire."

Not long after Feliciano began chopping up vegetables, Kiku and Arthur returned from their firewood-collecting expedition. The Brit's face lit up when he saw how simple the task looked. If the spacey Feliciano could do it, surely he could too. This was his chance to shine!

"Vegetable stew?" he smelled the air. "What do you say I—"

"Drop the firewood there and keep on walking, eyebrows bastard."

"Lovi!" his brother scolded him.

Arthur also looked like he had something to say about the demand, but Kiku saved the day yet again by distracting his blond friend with a Doctor Who article on his phone.

"Thank god…" sighed Lovino. "I was afraid he'd stick around to 'help.'"

"It still wasn't nice of you, fratello," Feliciano pointed out. "What harm could he do?"

"Irreversible stomach ulcers?"

"Lovi…"

"Look, aside from me, the only person in this group I trust to cook is you, idiota."

"What about Alfred?" Feliciano asked politely, as he stirred the soup. "Isn't he taking the same cooking class as you?"

"Yes, but it's not a blow-off class for him," Lovino shrugged, watching Alfred finish hammering stakes into the ground and dashing over to help his cousin and Kiku carry more firewood with a smile on his face. "Holy crap, he's like a hybrid human-Labrador of joy."

"Ve~ At least he's helpful!" Feliciano giggled.

"Are you trying to say I'm not helpful, bastardo?" his older brother gave him a shove. "I'm the one who found the visitor center, remember? You'd be taking a piss in the woods, if not for me."

"You're right, you're very helpful too, fratello," the amber-eyed boy beamed. "But you're more like a cat than a dog."

Alfred would bend over backwards to help someone cross the street with ten bags of groceries while planning a fundraiser to help end poverty in the tri-county area. Lovino would be off doing his own thing and delegate the work to his minions so he didn't have to leave his comfy perch or worse, do it himself and risk socializing with others. The brunet scoffed at this, but couldn't really argue.

Dinner was ready in short order and everyone was eager to dig in. Even if their meal was just chicken, vegetable soup, and pre-made dinner rolls, Feliciano had been able to work some kind of Italian magic to make it better than most restaurant food.

"See? We didn't need to go to the hotel, after all," Alfred laughed. "Not when Feliciano can cook better than all their best chefs! Who needs that boring waterpark and lame interior decorations when we have nature and smores and sleeping under the stars? This is way more fun!"

Lovino glared at him.

"Don't give me that look…" the blond winced a little.

"Then don't give me a reason to."

oOo

After dinner was over and several dozen smores had been made, the gang settled into another standard campfire ritual – telling ghost stories. Alfred had tried to talk the others out of it, but Arthur insisted they get the complete camping experience.

"If I have to be stranded out in the middle of nowhere with you wankers, I'm going to make the most of it," he huffed.

"You just want to try to scare me…" Alfred mumbled under his breath, unsurprised by the glowing 'O' above his cousin's head. "You even qualify for it…"

"Now then, what I'm about to tell you is based on real events…" Arthur said in a gravelly voice, getting into his role. As if by magic, thunder rumbled far off in the distance.

"I-Is it a true s-story?" Feli squeaked.

"Yes…" the Brit's eyes glinted in evil delight.

"You're lying."

"Bullocks!" the storyteller snapped in Ludwig's general direction.

"I can see through lies, remember?" the taller blond gestured to his eyes.

"Then my talent of crafting brilliant ghost stories is wasted on you, wanker!" he spat. "Just sit in the corner and shut your trap until I finish!"

"Hmph…"

Arthur began his tragic tale of horror and woe much like any other, a group of unwitting campers gathered in an abandoned forest for the weekend. The campers were a little on the carelessly rebellious side, with a disregard for nature and common sense (the leader was especially arrogant and foolish). Little did they know that the dying tree they cut down while vandalizing the forest was actually a magic seal to keep an ancient evil from rising once more…

He smugly took some satisfaction in the freaked out expressions the others were wearing. The Treasurer was just getting started! Once he got going, he could spin a story scary enough to spook an actual ghost.

As Arthur continued his tale of blood curses and raising the dead, even Ludwig had to admit he felt a little unnerved. Perhaps it was the wind howling in the distance or the way the Brit was getting way too into it. Either way, he kept a strong face, but every snapping twig in the distance sounded like footsteps getting closer and closer to their campsite. His Iris could only measure if Arthur was telling the truth, not if something dangerous was actually out there…

No…I'm being ridiculous. It's just a wild animal. That's all.

Lovino was sure he'd be more freaked out if he wasn't currently wedged between Alfred and Feliciano. He could no longer feel his fingers from how tightly the two scaredy cats were holding him. It made focusing on the ghost story very difficult. The tsundere glared at Ludwig, who was sitting by himself on a nearby log, staring into space. Lovino never thought he'd want the potato bastard to be dating his brother, but at this point he'd be willing to put up with it if it got his clingy brother off and feeling in his arm again.

It was only Kiku who seemed completely unfazed by the bushy-browed boy's storytelling methods. Fictional people getting impaled on trees and force-fed their best friend's internal organs by a serial killer meant nothing the the Japanese boy. They could always count on the Secretary to keep a cool head, no matter what the situation. Of course, this was the same guy who willingly came to every Student Council meeting and took notes on all the crazies present, so he had steadily been building up a tolerance.

Before Arthur could finish his delightful story about the escaped asylum patient skewering his victims alive, a faint scratching sound assaulted their eardrums from a distance. It wouldn't have been so bad if it didn't fit Arthur's description of one of the soon-to-be-victims hearing the voices of demons…and didn't sound like nails on a chalkboard. The noise periodically stopped and started up again from a different direction, getting closer and closer to the campsite.

"Damn it, Artie!" the American temporarily released Lovino/his human comfort blanket to cover his ears. "That's not funny!"

"Please stop making that noise!" Feliciano wailed.

"It's not me!" Arthur insisted, a note of distress in his voice.

Lovino felt a chill run through his body. He could tell by looking at the upperclassman that he was telling the truth without Ludwig confirming it for them all.

"This doesn't make any sense, it sounds like metal scratching on metal out there," he winced as the terrible noise picked up again, this time at the outskirts of their campsite where the flickering light of their campfire met the endless shadows covering the forest.

"What do you mean?"

"When Feli and I walked to the Visitor's Center, we didn't see any metal signs or fences!"

"Could it be tools of some kind?" Kiku suggested, eyes darting around the bushes in the distance. "Is there another campsite nearby, Alfred?"

"There's a few on the other side of the Visitor's Center, but we're the only ones out here this weekend," answered Alfred. "This place should be deserted!"

Suddenly the scratching fell silent. Branches stopped breaking, crickets stopped chirping, and the nearby owl stopped hooting. Even the wind seemed to go dead. The only thing the Student Council could here was the crackle of the fire and the thudding of their own heartbeats.

"Perhaps we should go into the tent?" Ludwig glanced around uneasily.

The others agreed. They quickly scrambled to their feet and made their way over to the tent. Ludwig had to keep both Vargas brothers from sprinting over, insisting on looking strong, not threatened. Arthur nodded, but secretly agreed with the Italians. Something didn't feel right about this whole thing. Meanwhile, Kiku helped Alfred put out the fire before they followed the others. Surely, they would be safe inside the confines of their tent.

They were wrong.

Alfred practically tripped over the entrance in his hurry to get inside. According to his Iris, Lovino qualified as someone who needed him right now. Despite the brave face his Italian was wearing, Alfred could tell this was really bothering him. Lovino hated the unknown, so a situation like this was awful for him. Biting his lip, Alfred readjusted his mental question to 'Who needs my protection from the danger outside our tent?' The 'O' above Lovino's head remained unchanged and his worries only intensified.

Had Alfred looked to his left, he would have seen that Kiku also qualified under those same terms.

The second the black-haired boy stepped in, the screeching sound started back up. It sounded even closer than before. Kiku never had the chance to zip up the tent. By the shaky flashlight beams, the group watched in horror as a giant claw wrapped itself around Kiku's chest and pulled him into the darkness. He let out a cry of surprise and reached out to his friends.

The bobbing beams of light did them no good in their attempts to save him. They could hear Kiku being dragged off by some unidentifiable creature. Alfred quickly got the large lantern lit and stuck his head out of the tent. Ludwig was fast to join him in calling out for their friend to no avail.

It was too late. Kiku was gone.

oOo

A/N – As much as I wanted to write about the waterpark, I wanted to write about the camping adventure more. I still might include a later chapter about waterslides, wavepools, and the like…we'll see. Until then, what the crap happened to Kiku?

-Rajikka

Translations

Fratello – Brother (It.)

Bastardo – Bastard (It.)

Tsundere – A type of character seen in anime or manga known for appearing cold or hostile, but having a hidden sweet side. "Tsun Tsun" is the aloof or irritable side, while "Dere Dere" is the lovey dovey side. (Jp.)

Stronzo – Bastard or Asshole (It.)

Doujinshi – A self-published work (Jp.)