This is a dark story. M for self-harm and suicide. Don't like please don't read. Review guys tell me what you think.
This is My Hell
Haley's POV
I hid my body under the duvet. In my head, if no one could see me, then I didn't exist. That's what I wanted, not to exist, I knew everyone else would prefer it that way. My old friends didn't want anything to do with me, if I wanted a conversation I would have to start it, my new friends didn't care for me, not in any way at all. Sure they seemed 'friendly' but that was fake, you could see that from a mile off. It didn't take a genius to realise that I was nothing more to them than a waste of space.
Do you ever think to yourself "If I died, who would come to my funeral? Who would miss me? Who would mourn me? Would anyone realise I was gone?" I could list my family…But they had to. No one else.
I was a burden, I pain. I pissed everyone off and I was fed up of it. I had enough people telling me that I was a bitch, and worse. I was called all sorts of things, and the worst part was, I deserved it, sure I made a few mistakes, and sure I regret them, but that doesn't make a difference in this world. "I'm sorry" is bullshit! It doesn't make any impact anymore.
I got up and went to the bathroom, I got in the shower, putting it on as hot as I could get it. I could feel the hot water blistering my skin, but it didn't hurt. The tears falling down my cheeks were hotter.
Their words echoed in my head.
"Backstabbing bitchy cow"
"Slut"
"Whore"
"She doesn't care"
"Waste of space"
"Liar"
I took a deep breath, it was all true. No one likes me, no one loves me. Andy was happy with Beth, but I fucked that up. I fucked up everything. Everyone would benefit from me being gone. But no one would touch me with a 50 foot barge pole. Guess this was up to me then.
I took the blade out of a razor. I started on my ankle. Digging the corner of the blade in me and dragging it along, breathing through the pain, which was nothing compared to the pressure building up in my chest. I needed to release the pressure and the sight of the blood falling out of this fresh wound helped a bit, I smiled as the trail of blood met the run of the water, and travel down the drain, I laughed to myself as the soapy suds and water jets hit the wound, causing it to sting and burn. I went into cutting more of these delicious cuts, I covered my whole leg until it was red all over, and felt like it was fire. But the pressure still hadn't left. I went to my wrists, slicing through the skin, needing to see the blood, more and more. What got me through the pain? Their words
"Hate"
"Whore"
"Bitch"
"Good for nothing"
"Messed up"
"I hate you"
There were three cuts for each insult, I was getting light-headed. Blood loss. But I didn't stop. There was a devil on my shoulder, taking over my body. Their words were louder than ever in my ear, screaming, I could no longer feel the pain of the cuts, only the pain of their words.
The pressure was building on my chest, cutting no longer cured it, but I didn't stop. The world was spinning. I closed my eyes and leant against the wall, still cutting, but feeling no pain. Only the boiling hot blood seep out of my body. I something made me open my eyes. I was no longer in the shower, I was strapped to a bed, restraints on my body and a gag in my mouth. I looked around and there they were, the people that killed me. The words that haunted me replayed in my head, I needed to scream but the gag stopped me, the pressure was building on my chest, I couldn't breathe, yet I was panting. It was like someone had taken all of the oxygen out of the air, I couldn't breathe. I was suffocating on their words. A scream of my own caught in my throat, the pain of the cutting came back. I was still doing it. But I wasn't breathing. I fell, I fell forwards, the last thing I felt was a blinding agony in my head, after hitting it on the wall…Then black.
Thank you you for reading