The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga
By Queenie Z

Does This Goatee Make Me Look Old?

Twilight grinned in the mirror, brushing the small patch of hair on his chin with his thumb. When was the last time he'd let himself grow a beard like this - when he was in his thirties, maybe? Sure, it looked a little strange on the boyish face he came to the afterlife with, but it brought back pleasant memories of his days with Hyrule's secret guardians; days of adventuring with Ashei, of archeological exploration with Shad, and plenty of drinks at Telma's bar. That was why he decided to keep it for a while, weird looks from his fellow Heroes be damned.

Said other Heroes, however, just couldn't get over how, well, ugly the Hero of the Twilight Realm's beard was. Try as they might to be polite about it, they simply couldn't keep their disgust to themselves. That was why, after many unsuccessful attempts to politely suggest he get rid of it, they decided to send Time, the one they knew Twilight would listen to, to stage an intervention.

"Twilight," he said, standing at the doorway of his pupil's room, "we need to talk."

Twilight screamed and nearly fell on his bottom. He glared at the elder Hero. "D-Did you just come into my house without knocking!?"

"I did knock," said Time, crossing his arms, "you were just too busy admiring yourself to hear me."

"Well, sorry," he said with a huff. "I was just reminiscing a bit. What did you need to talk about?"

Time pointed at the small square goatee on Twilight's chin. "That."

"Why do you guys care so much about my beard!?" Twilight spat, swatting away the pointed hand. "It's my face, I can do with it what I want!"

"Twilight," Time narrowed his eyes, "I'm going to be honest with you, because you're family and I care about you. That beard is the single ugliest thing I've ever seen stuck to someone's face."

Twilight frowned, looking genuinely hurt by Time's honesty. "It is not ugly!" He turned back to the mirror. "…Is it?"

"I'm afraid so. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it's so ugly, it disgraces your ancestors."

"You mean you."

"I'm pretty sure your other ancestors would agree with me, though." He placed a hand on the sullen Link's shoulder. "Look, Twilight, I'm not afraid to tell you that you're a good looking man. You're way too handsome to not pay attention to how you look." He reached in his pouch and pulled out a small razor. "Now do us all a favor and shave. Please."

Twilight looked at his teacher's reflection, then at the razor. He sighed and took it. "Fine, if it really bothers you guys that much…"

"I'm glad we could come to an agreement." Time smiled and patted the other's shoulder. "Just be grateful it was me who told you instead of, say, Midna. You know she wouldn't have been nearly as nice about it."

"Don't remind me." Twilight stood and sulked over to the bathroom.