BtVS by Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Animaniacs & Pinky and the Brain & Tiny Toon Adventures & Gremlins by Spielberg and the WB. Fire hydrant on loan from Diane Duane's "So you want to be a Wizard"
"Us? In trouble? Balderdash! I don't know what got into his head, Pinky, but, as you can see we are clearly not-" Brain trailed off as the immense white whirlwind with the naked Oz hanging in the center burst out of an alleyway. "... Well."
Both mice turned as one to look back across the street. The oldest Warner brother was nowhere to be seen.
"Egad, Brain!" Pinky yelled. "We saw that red-head holding the amulet! You don't suppose he got ahold of some power that doesn't agree with him?"
"My Lord... In my mad quest to win this contest and rule a world, I might have accidentally set in motion a plot thread that could consume this one!" Brain yelled, then turned around and grabbed Pinky by the shoulders. "Pinky, think fast! What do we do back home when we have a problem this big?"
"Well... We usually drop an anvil on it."
"Calm yourself, Pinky," the smaller mouse said as he let go and brushed himself off. "Where are we going to get an anvil... Quick! Pinky! Wish there was an anvil fairy!"
"Okay, Brain... But wait? How did Yakko follow us here?"
"Good question... But right now, you need to make that blasted wish!"
"Okay! Troz! I wish there was an Anvil Fairy."
Brain's face went veiny and he boomed: "Granted."
"Good," he continued, in his normal deep voice. "That's done with, now where-"
He was interrupted by a foot-long anvil falling on his head.
A purple suited guy with little silver wings flitted above, said 'oops', and sped off.
"Ouch," said Brain, from under the anvil.
Pinky, very carefully, pulled his flat friend free, shook him out, and held him steady until he popped back into shape.
"Uh, Brain, do you want to track down Yakko and say we changed our minds?"
"No. Absolutely not. The last time they tried to save a kingdom they destroyed it with a music cue," he panted in reply. "This bit is up to the Slayer, wherever she is."
##
"What's the chances of Giles solving the mystery by the time we get there?" Xander asked.
He was driving Dawn, Willow and Tara across town.
"Almost none. Why am I having Scooby Doo flashbacks?"
"No idea."
"Holy-" Xander yelled, slamming on the brakes. The car skidded to a stop, barely missing the scared and very mobile fire hydrant barreling across the road.
As it passed, a very dazed pigeon landed on the hood of the car.
The bird hesitantly waved a wing. When it grinned it showed a full set of teeth.
Finally, a little red-headed girl in a green dress raced into the middle of the street.
She came to a dead stop in front of the car.
The pigeon freaked out and pretended to be an oversized hood ornament.
The girl turned on her heel, faced the passengers, and raised an eyebrow.
##
Some deep, suppressed, instincts kicked in and, much to Tara's surprise, she found her body turning completely wolfy. A little voice in the back of her mind was also screaming: Run, Run, Run!
The girl that inspired this reaction burst into a big grin. She began to sing-song in some valkyrie-inspired tune: "Oh, my. Oh my, the choice I have - Oh where oh where should I go? Should I take the little bird in hand, oh should instead I go for... CUTE!"
When the echoes from the immense volume of the last word faded into the distance, the oddly-shaped girl had already run out of sight, in pursuit of the hydrant.
"What was that?"
"I have no idea."
"Oh my God!" Dawn yelled, nearly hyperventilating. "That was Elmyra, from TV! Cartoons are running loose in Sunnydale! Oh, hey. If there's a leak from the Tiny Toons show, does that mean that Buffy can do a Babs impression and change outfits by spinning around?"
Xander took his foot off the brake, only to stop the car, again, because a little black-and-white thing in a blue shirt was suddenly standing in front of them. This one was holding a stop sign and blowing a whistle.
An odd music cue started blaring from the radio as a figure in brown and one in pink ran by with large nets, scooping up the one in blue and the grinning pigeon and carrying them out of sight.
Everyone in the car sat in stunned silence for several seconds.
##
As he, hesitantly, began to drive again, Xander came up with a safe conversation topic.
"So, those little balls of magic should catch up with Spike and Buffy and lead them to the Magic Box?"
"Yes, or to our current location, I'm not sure which..."
"Oh hey guys," Buffy yelled, spotting them. "I was wondering why the little thing was hurrying so fast."
"Apparently the latter," Willow stated as they pulled over, next to the Slayer.
"Oh, hey, Buffy," Dawn asked, bouncing up and down in her seat. "Can you spin around real fast and try to be wearing a different outfit when you stop spinning?"
"Uh." Buffy frowned as she hopped in and buckled her seatbelt. "No."
##
"Buffy, you won't believe what we just saw!"
"Oz," Xander said, slowly braking the car. "Naked?"
"No surreal or silly guesses Xander, you were there. The game's for Buff-"
"Oh, my God."
Tara blushed. "Willow, I guess I understand a bigger amount of what you saw in him."
"From the underage ears in the car," Xander said, reproachfully. "I can safely assume that you're talking about the white whirlwind and his newfound flying ability-"
"Buffy," Dawn said, trying to pull her sister's hands off her eyes. "You're probably going to need those for holding weapons."
"Is it really him?"
"Yep, when he was clothed, we had coffee," Buffy stated, then, after a second's thought... "Spike?"
"Spike."
"He is so dead," Buffy said as the car, ever so slightly, attempted to lift off the ground.
##
Xander quickly reversed out of the area of effect.
"Is it just me, or does it look like no-one's home in there right now?"
"The big question is how mindless his beast actually is."
"A smaller question is: Who invited Rack to the party?"
"Huh?"
They craned their heads to see the scarred figure of the power broker challenging the whirlwind's maker.
"I can feel you. You're using all this power, but you have no direction. If you keep up like this, you're going to drain yourself, a dry and used up leaf crumbling in the wind. Let me help you. Mold you. Give you a purpose. It'd be a fair trade. I have power. I can sustain you. Come with me."
Oz's beast was confused by the dark figure, whose power was casting a terrible shadow...
The 'man' smelled vaguely like food. If Oz's beast were insane it might attack, maybe even win, feed, and move on.
However, the animal was put off by the display of power, so it turned around and floated away.
No grand fight for dominance here. Simple acceptance of territorial boundaries.
The dismissal, however, really set Rack off.
Rack walked forward, yelling invective after the nude body of Oz. As he did so, the power broker stepped within the boundaries of the retreating whirlwind and was neatly decapitated by a high-speed mailbox.
Cries of 'ewww' came from the car as the headless body fell to the ground.
Gulping, Xander nosed the vehicle forward.
They followed the whirlwind, at a safe distance.
##
"I'm sure we're all vaguely happy that happened," Buffy drawled. "But we still need to bring Oz down before anyone else gets hurt."
"Hey, Slayermobile!" yelled Spike, who was doing his best hitchhiker impression.
"Except maybe him."
"You need to get those flashing bugs fixed. Led us on a wild goose chase all over town."
"Us?"
"Yes, I know, little puppy, I made you with short legs," said Anya as she came around the corner carrying the metal dog. "I didn't expect there'd be all this running. Maybe next time, I'll make you out of a motorcycle. Oh, hello."
"Listen," Spike stated, firmly. "We need to track down Oz... A couple mice have stolen my girl's knack for money and that amulet I gave him may be the key to getting it back."
"Your girl?" Xander asked, confused, until he saw Spike protectively putting his arm around Anya's shoulders. "Ah, c'mon."
##
Everybody compared notes.
"You went back to being a vengeance demon? What, couldn't stand what three years of aging had done to your figure?"
"You were going to hide Oz from me? I mean, I can understand Buffy doing it, but-"
"I was a witch for ten minutes? Well, if I'd known I sure wouldn't be standing here right now. Goodbye Sunnydale. Hello Hawaii and magical sun-block."
"Do you think the Warner Siblings do birthday parties? I can't believe you didn't get their autographs when you gave them yours."
"So there's a white cartoon mouse, out there, somewhere, running around granting wishes. Yay, Hellmouth. Never a dull moment"
"So they were after me? Why would Pinky and the Brain want to slay vampires?"
"Maybe they're trying to break into an undead cheese factory."
"Xander."
"What?"
"So, he's me. If I went all power-bad, how would you guys stop me?"
"Throw a bus at you?"
"Good idea, but it'd probably leave him with broken bones... or neck... Any others?"
"So, he's spent years repressing his beast," said Anya. "And it getting loose is one of his biggest fears, as seen by the bunny costume incident. So... It what, just runs around and jumps people? Not very constructive if you ask me."
"Hey, we have Warren's hideout." Willow perked up. "Maybe we could break in and steal some ray guns."
"Have you tried giving it a name? I always give my monsters names and it seems to help," said Dot, descending from the sky in an umbrella.
The pink-dressed Warner sister landed neatly, then held out a small blue box. "This one's Murphy. Wanna see?"
They just stared at her.
"Don't open the box," Dawn warned, eventually.
"Okay, so, he's a battery," Buffy stated, after deciding to ignore the cartoon. "He's running around, not recharging, so he's gonna wear out eventually. We just need it to happen sooner..."
"I've got it! We've just got to get him into a dinosaur costume!"
"Dawn, uh, are you okay?"
"No, it's perfect. Just... Tara, do you think your powers will let Willow do some serious levitation?"
"It's worth a shot."
"I've got one of those here," announced Dot, holding up a large orange suit, complete with head.
"Of course you do..."
##
"Uh, guys," said brown-suited Yakko, turning to his family. "I... Just don't like this, it's dealing with atomic weaponry."
"Funny," Dot said, slightly annoyed. "That's exactly what they said about us."
"Why do I have to be the bait?" asked blue-suited Wakko as he held up a bullhorn.
"Because you're funny," stated Yakko. "Now get down there and do your stuff."
"Oh, alright," Wakko said, as he jumped off the rooftop.
Unphased by the fall, Wakko walked to the middle of the street, booming: "Baloney convention, this way, come see the silly dinosaur!"
##
Oz's beast was annoyed when the levitating costume approached and pulled itself over his legs, but he couldn't see anyone to lash out at.
He was even more annoyed when the lights went out.
He was still floating in mid-air trying to pull the dinosaur head off his shoulders when he was brutally tackled by Elmyra.
"Oh, the humanity," Dot said, cringing at the ensuing battle.
"There's some of my finest work," Anya said, waving a hand at the superpowered cartoon girl.
"You'd better not let that get around," Yakko cautioned. "There's a lot of furry animals out there, myself included... I mean the price they'd put on your head... Hmmm... Hey guys, wanna go into the bounty hunting business next?"
"I don't know, Yakko," answered Wakko. "Think we'd be any good at it?"
"C'mon, I mean after meeting us they'd be begging to be thrown in jail."
"You got that right," Dot said, snidely.
##
As Oz's borrowed power drained from Elmyra's assault on his physical body, there was an epic battle happening inside his brain with himself on one side and his beast on the other.
Finally, they looked at each other and -for the first time ever- simply acknowledged each other's existence rather than battling for control.
Joining forces, they turned on Elmyra.
With the focus the end of the internal battle had given them, they were able to change the random display of power into an actual directed force and blast Elmyra across the country.
Panting, they sniffed tails, inside the little world of Oz's head and sank to the ground, exhausted.
The much weakened trickle of Willow's power finally shut off.
##
Around them, back in the real world, the whirlwind suddenly stopped and a huge amount of random items thumped and tinkled to the ground. Including, the glittering enchanted hair clip.
##
So, finally, everybody, including Giles and not including the dimension-hopping Animaniacs, headed to the dining room of the Summers' home to regroup.
They'd rescued the amulet from the rubble and decided to return powers to their rightful owners.
... And everything would've gone well, if Brain hadn't chosen to test out Anya's teleportation just one more time...
A Dark, Dark Place
"Oh, great, Pinky..." frowned Brain. "Here we are at the Memory Soak again. I'll go first."
Pinky watched the smaller mouse disappear into the black foam of the 'wall'. He was about to follow, but a gnarled pair of hands emerged from the darkness behind him and picked him up.
"Hey there little guy, don't worry, I won't hurt you," said the owner of the hands. "You've already been weighed and measured enough. You're unacceptable for my purposes, but I have a friend who'd be just happy to welcome you into his little organization. It's alright, now off you go... While I take care of your little friend."
The tall figure pushed Pinky into another reality, before bending down and blowing away the memory-reading puffs of black foam. This revealed the suddenly frightened Brain cowering underneath.
Brain stammered. "Who... Who are you?"
The blue skinned demon stood tall, bathed in the sunlight from the rapidly shrinking portal he'd shoved Pinky into. Through it, Brain caught a glimpse of white fluffy clouds with fuzzy things lounging about before it closed fully.
"D'Hoffyrn, and you should be afraid. You've been interfering with my selection process long enough. I've read you and I frankly don't like you." The horned demon bent low enough that his elaborate goatee nearly touched the ground. "Now be a good insignificant little mouse and run along and give my dear Anyanka back that bit of my power, before I bite your head off."
"Yes sir..." Brain said, backing across the dark ground. "Not a problem at all."
Summers' Residence
"Darn it," Brain muttered to himself as he abruptly fell through the 'ground', into the Summers' living room. "That feeling of fear, it's unnatural, it must be a restriction of this power... A bond to the one who gives it to his minions. I've got to get the Slayer's power and get out of this reality, but how? I don't even know..." He heard voices and looked into the next room. "Where she lives. Right..."
At that moment, the Scoobies were exchanging the powers of Oz and Willow (reverting her to 'normalcy', but leaving Oz with Tara's powers).
"Yes!" Brain's mouth split in a wide grin. "Now, come Pinky... Pinky?"
"Right here, Brain. Whoa, kinda unsteady on my feet here. They didn't go over that in the manual."
Brain did a double-take. "Egad, Pinky? What happened to you?"
"I have now been recruited to the proud order of Gremlins!" announced the brown and white Mogwai-Pinky.
"You mean that the real reason all my plans blow up in my face is that there are actually teams of gremlins jumping around with 'fingers in their ears'?" Brain asked, referring to a previous attempt at an explanation.
"No, Brain. It's still you," he answered, referring to the real reason.
Brain growled furiously at this confirmation. "I can't believe you actually got the most useless powers ever! Can't eat food after midnight! Can't get near water!"
"Well, actually..."
"Shut up, Mogwai-Pinky, we need to get that amulet now!"
##
Oz was reaching across the table to hand the amulet to Tara, everybody standing clear to not interfere with the transferring process...
Suddenly the table exploded upwards, thanks to the enormous borrowed strength of Brain.
The amulet went flying.
Spike immediately moved with the instinct of a true predator and Brain found himself dangling by his tail from the vampire's fist.
"You're lucky I'm not Angel," Spike affirmed. "Or I'd eat you."
"Put him down!" someone yelled.
Spike suddenly was swarmed by a mob of brown-and-white fuzzy things, each looking like each other and Mogwai-Pinky, but not quite identical...
"I've got the amulet! Woohoo!" Mogwai-Pinky yelled from around the corner as Spike dropped Brain and began to try and save his jacket from the clinging troops.
"Blast! You idiot," Brain yelled, falling into the arms of a Mogwai that had his eyes set just a bit too far apart. "Am I going to have to kill all of your clones, so they don't organize and destroy this world?"
"With all due respect, Brain... Shut up," the clone holding him replied, in Pinky's exact voice. "I'm not a representation of those animals called Gremlins."
All the clones announced, as one voice: "I'm the Concept."
##
A quite unfair match of catch and toss between the linked Mogwai and the Scoobies shortly began...
(It was made harder because no-one actually wanted to grab it out of their little pink hands)...
Unnoticed in the confusion, Brain was able to catch the amulet and, driving one paw after another into the wall, work his way straight up.
At his signal, all of Pinky's clones merged back into the original. The critter spread his empty hands and grinned.
Dawn had the presence of mind to grab a bowl and trap him under it, while the rest of the Scoobies began turning over furniture, trying to locate Brain.
Buffy looked up, but she was a second too late-
Brain was already falling towards her, amulet at the ready.
(His strength had allowed him to crawl across the ceiling).
The amulet made contact and-
##
Brain continued to fall towards the ground.
Buffy tried to grab him but, suddenly deprived of her Slayer skills, her aim was slightly off.
Before she could recover - before anyone else could move to trap Brain - D'Hoffryn teleported into the room, incensed at the new transfer.
The head of the Vengeance Demons grabbed the short blond girl by the neck and began to lift her off the ground.
"I've had enough of these incessant transfers and it is well within my rights as patriarch to kill," he snarled... He trailed off, his eyes focusing on the young woman struggling in his grasp.
"Oh, it is you, Slayer. My apologies. I had no idea," he said, then shrugged and tightened his grip. "Well, this is just going to make your death all the more sweeter..."
...START...BrainAnya....BuffyOzBuffy...SpikeOz...
...SpozWillow...WozTara...SpillowOke...OwWillra...BranyaBuffy
Current: Anyain, Taroz, Ozara, Brainfy, Buffya.