The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga
By Queenie Z
I'll Protect You Forever... And Ever... And Ever...
The Hero of Time whistled a happy little tune as he tossed a stone across the pond. He grinned as the rock skipped over the water not once, not twice, but three times before sinking to the bottom. He always had been good at skipping stones; Saria had taught him how when he was alive, and he had spent the last few thousand years perfecting his technique.
He reached for another rock and inspected it, checking to see if it was smooth enough to use. Suddenly, however, he heard a chorus of raucous laughter approaching from behind. Startled, he dropped the rock and turned his head.
"Cut it out, you guys! There's nothing wrong with liking cats!"
Time's ears perked. It was Twilight, and it sounded like he was being laughed at.
"Of course there's not," laughed Light's voice, "but watching the great Hero of the Twilight Realm baby talking and kissing kittens is pretty damn funny!"
"I-I was not baby talking - "
Mini chimed in, his voice high-pitched and mocking, "'Aww, who's a good kitty? Who's the prettiest kitty in the whole wide world? Who's a cute little baby boo-boo-boo-boooo?'" He laughed. "Don't tell me that wasn't baby-talk, Twilight!"
"I didn't say that!"
"You did too!"
Time's eye twitched. Those brats were being awfully rude to his descendent! He had no intention of letting it go on, of course, and stormed over to where the trio of Heroes stood.
"What are you doing to my protégé?" he bellowed with a fierce, authoritative edge.
All eyes instantly turned to Time, and immediately they noticed something quite terrifying. He had a disturbing glint in his eyes and a distinctly evil aura about him; an aura that should never follow in the presence of a champion of good like him.
Light gulped. "We... we were just kidding around, Time! Honest!"
"Kidding around? ...And making my Twilight cry?" He tilted his head with an unsettling smile. Then, he wrapped his arms around Twilight's neck, causing him to let out a nervous squeak. "Did you really think I'd let you get away with that?"
"I," stammered Twilight, "I wasn't crying, Time..."
"Shh," Time said, putting a finger to his pupil's lips, "it's all right, Twilight. Teacher's here. I'll protect you from these scoundrels." He flashed a wicked grin at the other two at the word "scoundrels".
"W-We're sorry, Time!" cried Mini, "Forgive us, please...!"
Time chuckled. "Forgive you? Heh... heheheh..." He then scowled ferociously. "Leave!"
The two petrified Heroes screamed and tripped over themselves trying to flee Time's wrath. Once they were out of earshot, however, he let go of Twilight and began to laugh until tears filled his eyes. Eventually, he caught his breath and wiped his eye. "Hahaha! Did you see the look on their faces!? I can't believe they fell for that!"
"Wait, wait, you were faking all that!?" Twilight looked at the elder Hero like he was positively nuts. "Time, that was the scariest thing I've ever seen...!"
Time's laughter began anew at his reaction. He ruffled Twilight's hair. "Well," he said between chuckles, "it got them to leave you alone, didn't it?"
"Well, yes - but now they're going to think you're completely insane!"
"Let them; it'll be funnier that way." He took the younger Link's chin in his hand and narrowed his eyes. "Won't it, Dear Twilight?"
Twilight screamed.