A/N: Thanks for all the reviews for the previous chapter... Now I know that I'm supposed to have a 1000 word minimum for each chapter but both my son and daughter said I could have less than that since I'm over the minimum for words per chapter... So this chapter is going to be short but I wanted to show Lucas's thoughts on seeing Peyton for the first time since she left... Enjoy! Before I forget Happy Holidays to all... I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas...
Disclaimer: I don't own OTH...
As soon as Lucas's eyes landed on Peyton lying in the hospital bed he gasped. He couldn't believe how pale she looked. He slowly walked over to where she was lying at. As soon as he was by her side he took one of her hands in his and slowly brought it up to his mouth and kissed it. He couldn't take his eyes off of her pale face.
As he took in her appearance he couldn't stop the tears from falling down his face that had filled his eyes. As he looked down at her stomach he saw that it was gently rounded and he placed a hand on her stomach. He couldn't believe how thin she still was with her carrying triplets. It was then that he realized she must not have been eating much. He shut his eyes on a wave of pain. He knew that everything she was going through was his fault and he hated himself for it.
When he opened his eyes back up he looked back at her face. He couldn't stop himself from bending down and brushing his lips across her head. He looked at the other side of the bed and saw Haley and Nathan both standing there with slight smiles on their faces. He knew that they were happy that he was starting to realize just how much Peyton meant to him.
He looked behind him and saw a chair and without letting go of Peyton's hand he reached for the chair with one hand and pulled it towards him. Once it was by the hospital bed he sat down in it but kept his hand on the hospital bed grasping Peyton's. As he looked at her still form he vowed that he would do whatever he had to do to get Peyton to wake up and be alright. He vowed that he would never leave her side again.
He leaned his head onto the hospital bed and brushed his lip across Peyton's hand and then took in a deep breath and let it out before whispering "Peyton I know that you hate me because I hate me too. I need for you to be alright though. I can't live in a world that doesn't have you in it. You need to open up those beautiful eyes of yours even if it is only to tell me to get the hell out of here. I love you Peyton and I just now realized how much I love you. I have been so lost without you these past months. I am no longer sure which way is right and which way is left or which way is up and which way is down. If I could turn back time I would. I would not change the fact that we made love but I would change everything after that. I know that what I said to you hurt you and I can never tell you how sorry I am. I didn't mean a word of it Peyton. I was just scared. I was scared that if I let myself love you like I do that you would crush my heart again and I lashed out at you and that wasn't fair. I need for you to be okay. I need you and so do our babies Peyton. Yes I said babies. You're pregnant with triplets and I will never forgive myself for not being with you when you found out. I will never forgive myself for you hurting and being alone these last few months when I should have been with you. Please baby wake up. I love you."
He finally stopped talking and just looked at Peyton has he the tears fell down his face. He didn't even bother to wipe them off his face. He didn't care if his brother and his sister in law saw him cry. All he cared about was the woman lying in the hospital bed still unresponsive. All he cared about was the fact that the woman he loved was carrying his babies. All he cared about was making sure that Peyton and their unborn babies survive. He didn't care about himself or anything else. Right now all he wanted was for Peyton to wake up even if she yelled at him or hit him.
With his head still laying next to Peyton's hand that was clasped in his he shut his eyes. He sent up a prayer to God that he hoped was heard. As he laid with his head on the bed he silently vowed that as soon as Peyton woke up that he would do whatever he had to to make her see that she was the woman for him. He vowed that for however long it took that he wouldn't leave Peyton's side. He vowed that he would be by her side through the rest of the pregnancy and the birth. He didn't care what it took he would make sure that she never doubted him ever again.
He heard Nathan whispering to Haley but he couldn't tell what was being said nor did he really care at that moment. Right now he just cared about holding on to Peyton's hand and letting her know that he was there for her and that he wasn't going to go away. He silently vowed to himself that no matter what Peyton did or tried to do that he wouldn't let her push him away. He vowed the he would make her understand that she was his and that the love he felt for her was true love. He would make sure that he showed her in every way, shape or form that he could possibly think of that he loved her and she was the one he chose. He did turn his head towards the door when he heard it open and he saw the Doctor coming in with a machine. He couldn't wait to see his and Peyton's babies. He kissed her hand one more time. "I love you Peyton Sawyer and I'm not going anywhere. You need to wake up though so that you can see our babies with me."