Heyyy People! So...Yeah! This is another little story drabble I came up with. Be warned: IT IS SAD!
Also...
TRIGGER WARNING! MENTIONS OF CUTTING AND SUICIDE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND PLEASE BE CAREFUL!
Also... Hetalia characters don't belong to me! They belong to Himaruya Hidekaz! Anywho...that's about it. Enjoy!
Everyone loves lovely little Feliciano. Everyone loves lovely little Feli with his bright, brown eyes and happy smile. Everyone loves lovely little Feli with his cheerful voice and bounce in his step. Everyone loves lovely little Feli with his pure innocence and his constant aura of happiness. Everyone loves lovely little Feli…
But soon lovely little Feli will be dead.
The amber-haired boy laughed quietly to himself as he sat on his bed, looking to the wall across the room from him with empty eyes.
Oh, poor lovely little Feli, all gone and dead. Everyone will be shocked. They'll be asking around. Why…oh why would lovely little Feli, happiest of all, do such a thing? He scoffed to himself. Well, nobody ever noticed that lovely little Feli cried himself to sleep every night. Nobody ever noticed that lovely little Feli was addicted to dragging a razor across is wrist whenever he got the free time. Nobody ever noticed how lovely little Feli counted the days to his demise. No. Nobody ever noticed because why would he ever think of that? He's just
Lovely.
Little.
Feli.
"Tomorrow they'll notice," He mumbled quietly under his breath. "That's right, tomorrow lovely little Feliciano will be gone. First they'll think he's simply taken ill," A smile pulled at his lips. "But then it will be two days, three days, then four. Lovely little Feli hasn't been home or at school. They'll start searching," He chuckled. "But will they find him? Oh, no. If they drained the whole river, maybe, but not likely. He'll be gone," His chuckle grew, turning into an almost hysterical laughter. "He'll be dead! I'll be dead!" He flopped onto is back against the soft comforter of his bed, laughing and laughing. It was a manic, sick laughter, a sound one wouldn't expect to come from such an innocent looking boy.
"Feli! Get down here, you'll make us late!"
His laughter instantly stopped, and his expression matched the blank stare in his eyes for a second. Fratello. His eyes narrowed in annoyance. Lovino. He'll be one I miss the least. I've lived with him for sixteen years, yet he's noticed nothing. The fool. He'll probably not even notice I'm gone. I don't care though. I never did.
His irritated expression vanished immediately "Ah! Mi dispace, Lovi! I'll be right down!" With that, he plastered a smile on his face that looked so real, no one would even suspect his dark thoughts. He quickly dressed and skipped downstairs, grabbing a piece of toast before running after his brother to the bus stop.
"What were you laughing at?" Lovino glanced over to him, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh! Just a joke I thought of," Feliciano answered with a shrug. "Gilbert told me it yesterday in class and I was laughing so hard, the teacher told me to be quiet!" He smiled.
"Learn to control yourself then," Was his brother's response, along with a scowl.
"Oh yeah? I've been controlling myself, waiting for this day. Waiting for it all to end." He mumbled quietly to himself.
"What was that, Feli?"
"Oh, it was nothing, Fratello. The bus is here!"
Lovino looked at him with a puzzled expression, but waved off any suspicion when he saw his brother's happy, nonchalant expression.
Just lovely little Feli
Feliciano found his seat on the bus, and turned his head to look out the window. He envisioned what would happen tonight and a smile spread across his face. A finger tapped his shoulder.
"Yo dude, what're you smiling at?"
Feliciano turned his head and locked eyes with a blonde boy with bright blue eyes and glasses. Alfred. One of the most annoying kids Feliciano had ever met. He despised the guy, how he always asked the stupidest questions in class. Why couldn't he just save his dumb opinions to himself? Unfortunately, Feliciano didn't know the answer to that. Another thing that truly irked the Italian about Alfred was that he didn't seem to know the meaning of 'shut up'. He truly was a loudmouth that honestly didn't know when to stop, and what was worse was that wherever Alfred was, there was Arthur, a snobbish English student that always had his nose in a book.
"Uh…Feliciano? I'm talking to ya, bro!"
"Ah!" Feliciano snapped from his daze and forced a small smile. "Sorry, Alfie," Ah yes, the nickname. He had picked it out for the boy to make it more convincing he was his "friend". As stupid as Alfred could be at times, he had his moments where it seemed he could see through anything. He had even gotten close to looking through Feliciano. Luckily, the nickname made things instantly casual and put Alfred's guard low. "I was just thinking how exciting it is that Christmas break will be coming soon, don't you agree?"
"Heck yeah!" Alfred laughed, oh how Feliciano hated that laugh, so obnoxious, and nodded his head. "I've got such a big list for this Christmas! I want the newest game console, that new zombie game that came out, a—"
"Alfred, no one cares about what you want for the holidays." Came a voice next to Alfred, though the back of the seat covered the person, but Feliciano knew who it was. For once, he was thankful for the comments of the bookworm Englishman.
"Arthur, don't be so meaaaaaan! I'm just tellin' Feli what I want!" Alfred whined.
"Yes, but no one cares." Was his reply.
"Maybe another time, Alfie," Feliciano piped up, using his sweet, innocent voice. "I'm kinda tired right now, so I'm gonna take the rest of the bus ride to catch a few minutes of sleep, 'kay?"
"Awww, okay…" Alfred pouted, but sat back down behind the back of the seat. Feliciano was relieved for the new silence. He stared back out the window, his empty smile crawling back onto his face. Now all he had to do was get through the day at school. Knowing the control he had built waiting for this day, dealing with annoying classmates for a few hours would be easy.
The day went by boringly slow, yet Feliciano kept himself together and made it through the day without strangling anyone who tried to distract himself from his thoughts on his end. He went through his classes, raised his hand for answers, which he always got correct, and sat there like the good student he was. He chatted with his friends, Ludwig, Gilbert, and Kiku, and seemed completely normal. Nobody questioned him, nobody looked at him strangely, nobody noticed because he was exactly who he was supposed to be.
Lovely little Feli.
When he arrived home, he ate dinner and talked with his brother and grandfather, who was his guardian when his and Lovino's parents passed away in a car crash. He smiled and teased Lovino about his close, very close if Feliciano had to say so himself, friend, Antonio. In return, he received a small shove from the other. Everything was normal. He then went upstairs, did his homework, which was far too easy in his opinion. His public school had no challenge compared to the private school he had before he moved in with his grandfather. Classes were ever so boring. Almost as boring as the people who taught it.
After he finished, he went out, walking down the sidewalks of his neighborhood until he reached the public park. From there, he took a small path leading through some trees to a high bridge over a river. It was a beautiful sight and many people stopped at the bridge to take pictures of the scenery. The trees that surrounded the area, the river racing below, the sky shining through the branches and leaves of the trees; it was all so beautiful. A perfect place to die.
Feliciano gazed down at the river and smiled. It was December, winter. The river wasn't frozen, but deathly freezing, especially at night. "I'll be back soon." He whispered, turning and heading back to the house. By the time he returned, the sky was darkening.
"Nonno, I'm home! But I'm tired after today, so I'm going to head up to bed, okay?" He called out into the house.
"Alright, sleep well, Feliciano. I'll check on you later tonight." Came his answer.
Crap.
He had forgotten his grandpa always checked on him every night before he went to bed himself. No big deal though; he'd just have to wait a mere hour or so longer. He changed into his nightclothes and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over himself. He closed his eyes, trying to get at least a little bit of rest before later tonight. Oh, but, how could he? The excitement that coursed through him made him awake with adrenaline. It was so close to time. So, so close. He was so excited and fidgety, that he almost failed at his performance of being asleep when his grandfather finally came to check on him. Merely a few minutes after he heard his grandfather and brother both shut their doors, he bolted up from his bed. He tiptoed to his door, leaning his ear against it. It was quiet.
Good.
He scampered silently to the window in his room and opened it. He crawled out, taking a deep breath in the cool, night air. He shivered, rubbing his arms. Oh, the river would be freezing. It would be quick to kill him. Brilliant.
He ran down the way to the park, being careful not to be seen by anything. The faint wind of the night blew his hair in his face, and the cold nipped at his bare feet, fingers, and face. He made it to the park, then down the path until finally he stood upon the bridge. He climbed upon the railing, spreading his arms out as he looked over the water.
"Oh, what a day! But finally, finally! I stand here. All those years of pretending to be happy, all those days putting up with imbeciles like my brother, Alfred, everyone are over! Today, I will meet my icy end, and oh, what joy fills me when I imagine it! Goodbye, world, I am done with this present, or should I say, curse, called life you have given me!" He looked up at the night sky and laughed. "Ah, the time draws near! Shall I say a few words? What would be the point? Nothing! There is no point! No one would listen, but I don't want them to listen anyway. I hate them! I HATE THEM ALL! Always seeing me as pure little Feliciano. Wait, no…Lovely. Little. Feli. That's right. That's what I am to everyone. But what if, just for a moment, I wasn't lovely little Feli." His eyes suddenly stung with watery tears. "I'd be broken little Feliciano. Suicidal Feliciano. Dead Feliciano." He began to laugh, ignoring the tears that fell down his face. "Well, it doesn't matter now, doES IT?! NO! IT DOESN'T MATTER! I'M GOING TO DIE!" He laughs, laughing a manic, insane, hysterical laugh. "Why wait any longer? Death is calling me! Well, world? This is where I bid you farewell!"
He jumped.
Cold. It was the first thing Feliciano felt as the water engulfed his body. His lungs instantly began to burn for the air they so desperately needed. The rushing water made his body tumble, hitting rocks as it did. Bubbles upon bubbles escaped his mouth as he laughed under the water, pulling in the liquid his body quickly rejected. Sputtering, silent coughs came from, but no air came in return. His vision darkened gradually, and his limbs became numb. This is what he wanted. This was it. He laughed more, and in return, inhaled more water. Everything was becoming slower…fuzzier…darker.
Down.
Down.
Down.
He seemed to spiral. It became darker.
And darker.
And darker.
Goodbye everyone. This is the end of lovely…little…Feliciano…
AN: WHOA that was depressing! Sorry guyyys, but when the idea came to my head I had to write! Anywho, reviews are awesome! Constructive criticism is good, too, but I just ask you don't engulf me with flames...
I am a fragile smol bean please be tender with me (._.)"
Anyway, until next time! Byesies~!