Shout and shout and shout some more
Just stop being such a bore
Don't go near the girl with the broken heart
And stay close the one with the poison dart
== Karkat: Exist
Of course you're existing; you wouldn't be here otherwise. Sandwiched between the two girls in the room you know have some sort of romantic connection to, who are both sitting next to current or former fiancés on their other side. Nepeta, on your right, has Eridan on her right, and Feferi sits to his right. Terezi sits just to your left and Dave is on her left.
You always seem to get caught up in the most romantic drama of anyone else.
However, you have an important role to play and you refuse to let anything but this guide your choices. Romance is for a time when you aren't all frantically working towards a desperate, ancient goal, and so close to snatching it out of the air.
Your brother is still talking and you are sick of it. You hear enough of this before he ran away; you don't care to hear much more. But you guess that as the second-in- command, you should be listening.
Once Kankri finishes gathering everybody's roles and plans, it is your turn to speak. Finally. You'll try to keep the cursing to a minimum.
"Alright, everyone, listen the—listen up. We've got six months to pull this off, maybe two or three weeks leeway. You all know your schedules for phase one. We've got two months for this bit, and it's pretty fucking important." There goes no cursing. After the first one, all bets are off. "We can pull this off, no matter how fucked up this idea is or how much you assholes think you can't, gogdammit. Alright? Alright. That's settled. So, as for any personal challenges, let's try to not let shit like 'love' or 'betrothal' or whatever shit get in the way. Gogdammit, people, let's try to pull our shit together and fuck over this fucked-up monarchy. Unless you are all even more fucking moronic than I thought, we should be able to get this shit done. Okay. Great. Now I need a summation of the plan, so fucking write them down and give them to me and I'll figure this shit out. Thank you."
All you can do for the next fifteen minutes is be incredibly grateful that the thieves (who apparently have no morals; what did you expect of Meenah and Vriska?) stole a fuckton of paper from some noble a while back that's been hidden under the couch in the living room. Your own plan is pretty basic: you are going to use blood, that is, family, and the bloodshed knights see every day to get them to come to your side of the rebellion because they are being used by their lord and their families are dying.
You might've made some of that up, but you can only be so truthful when trying to start a revolution.
After collecting the papers, you tack them to the wall in a sort-of organized fashion and prepare to explain "the summation of the plan."
At least everyone's paying fucking attention now.
"Okay. So the knights and the pages need to build up support from any and all higher-ups without actually revealing the whole magic thing. Heirs and princes need to use their influence to weaken the monarchy in any way they can short of murder. And princes, try not to blow up the whole thing, dammit. Maids need to use that fucking moronic 'women are weak' shit to their advantage to infiltrate by going unnoticed. Yeah, I know it fucking sucks, but if people are going to be morons, we'll use it to our advantage. Bards, first off, try not to fuck everything up. Second, use that poetry shit to make pamphlets and get people to work with us. The maids and heirs and princes will help, alright? I've got this all up here, you can fucking see it."
The members of the Underground all nod and you are glad no one's flipping their shit yet.
"Now for the Magicals. Right. Thieves are obviously in charge of gathering resources, and not getting us fucking caught. I'm looking at you, Meenah and Vriska. You two take too many fucking risks and this whole thing will go to shit. Got it? Good. Seers are in charge of finding out what the monarchy is thinking and also screening any supporters we get to root out traitors. Also keep making money and making people like and trust you. Sylphs are in charge of making sure everyone is healthy and safe, and also getting peasants to like you. Charge less or some shit, I don't know, but get the normal people on your side. Mages and witches, okay, you guys just need to use your magic however you can to support us, make money, and get support from the artisans. Rogues, you're in charge of passing information and goods, as well as making sure to direct suspicion fucking away from us and acting like nothing's wrong. Get it, got it, good. And you can see that here. Got it, Magicals?"
The ones who live in this house nod their understanding. This was a lot easier than you anticipated. People are actually fucking cooperating and you are infinitely glad about this, because you have no patience right now. You are short on sleep, sore from that walk, and exhausted from the crazy workout you got being all knightly today. You spare a moment to note that Michael Summers's real name is Latula Pyrope (he seems to be Terezi's brother) and wonder briefly at the femininity in this name. Perhaps that's why he uses a fake name. Either that or he's actually a she in disguise and she's the daughter from the Pyrope family who ran away and got eaten by wolves in the woods.
That second theory sounds pretty ridiculous, even to you.
That's beside the point. You suddenly hear a voice in your head and as usual, it's your brother ranting internally while forgetting that you two share a psychic link that he has to work to close. You glare at him from across the room while everyone else exchanges gossip and you wonder what it's about. Okay, you sort of don't care, but much of it seems to be centered around Terezi, which you are slightly curious about. Just slightly.
The extra voice in your head suddenly shuts down and you realize that Kankri must've finally closed the connection. The worst is when he does this when you're not here and you can't do a damn thing about it.
You sit down, tired of trying to explain this plan, and listen in. You notice it's a bunch of girls, but you're far too tired to care.
"Your parents. Betrothed you. To Eridan?" Aradia says in a very gossipy tone. "Seriously?"
Nepeta nods, and she looks truly miserable. "I sort of hoped they'd put it off until I was eighteen, at least. I don't want to get married! Okay, maybe one exception." You have a hunch who that might be. "I just have to leave the house in three months! That's even before phase one ends. I swear…"
"I know how you feel," Aradia sympathizes. "I sure as hell don't want to get married."
"I wish I could get married," Rose laments, and you remember that there is not a priest alive who would marry two women. Rose and Kanaya will likely never be married, and will obviously never bear children. You remember your father's lecture on the place of women in society (which you heard after meeting the Magicals and therefore had zero impact on you), which is apparently to bear children and please husbands. You think this is utter bullshit and it sort of makes you want to slap someone.
Kanaya takes Rose's hand. "Myself as well," she affirms.
After a brief pause, Feferi continues the gossip chain. "I wonder who I would've been betrothed to. I mean, my mother is the queen. Probably some man in a foreign land twenty years older than me!"
"I know, right?" Vriska agrees, drawling her vowels. "I'd probably be engaged to Gamzee!"
"Or even Eridan!" Nepeta giggles.
"What about Equius?" Terezi teases.
"Oh no, Equius is all mine," Aradia teases.
"I wonder what would've happened if none of us had magic," Aranea says idly.
"None of this," Porrim says, gesturing at the ramshackle house that is held up only by magic.
"We'd all be betrothed or married," Meulin points out.
"We wouldn't be friends," Damara says, and she sounds sad about it. You have a sudden realization that if it wasn't for magic, you wouldn't know any of these people.
That fucking voice invades your mind again and you walk over to your brother so you can respond to him. "What is it?" you snap.
"You are aware that you are in charge of the entire Underground," Kankri says, and it's not a question and that really pisses you off.
"Yeah, no shit," you say.
"Language," he warns, and you remember that in the castle, knights aren't supposed to swear. Everyone romanticizes knights, but you are disillusioned with the concept. Not that you regret becoming a knight, but there is some stuff that's just overrated. Okay, a lot of stuff. That's also beside the point.
"I am very aware that that's my job," you retort. "You've told me every time you've seen me for the past year, plus a few times psychically."
"Okay," he says, backing down. "I simply must remind you that your role is essential to our plan, especially because the Underground is a very dangerous role to take on. Latula, whom you know as Michael, is at a greater risk than anyone else."
"Why's that?" you ask. He's just a normal knight, why does this matter?
Kankri looks like he's hiding something from you for just a second. "I care a lot about him," he finally says.
"Do you like men?" you ask. Maybe that's it? Who knows with your brother. He was in love with the Pyrope girl before she died, but you think it's probably possible to love both men and women.
"That's not the point," Kankri says. "Please just protect everyone. Especially him." His voice sounds pleading and you decide that this is his moment of weakness, of admitting that he needs your help and that he needs companionship.
"I promise," you say. How can you deny your brother this when he hasn't shown weakness in the five years since he ran away?
"Thank you," he says, letting you leave to find your friends.
Gamzee and Sollux are here, as well as Tavros and Equius and Eridan. So is Dave, who you sometimes think loves men like John. John's here, too. In fact, all of your friends are here, and it makes you so happy to see them all in this safe place. Especially Sollux, who is a Magical and you therefore never see.
Not like you'd ever say that aloud, or even let one of the seers catch you thinking it.
You've got to be a lot more careful of your thoughts with the seers around.
You know that they try to avoid just accidentally reading thoughts, but you can feel them nosily poking around your mind sometimes. You feel the sylphs as well, but their magic occupies them. You kind of hate it, but you know if you were the psychic one, you'd never stop invading other peoples' thoughts.
Sollux is a mage, though, so he's mostly about zapping sparks around the room and catching them just before he lights the place on fucking fire.
You know that was only once, but it's not the sort of thing you forget.
It's getting late and it's been decided that everyone's sleeping here tonight. That does mean four people to a room, but you've had worse. Your family has an extremely low status and next to no money, so you grew up sleeping on a hard dirt floor every night. In comparison, this rundown old place you call home is like a palace.
To you, it is a palace.
Most of your friends attach similar emotions to the place. Pride, hope, light, life, love. Family. As far as you know, only Kurloz and Gamzee consider somewhere else their home. You don't have a "real" home anymore, now that your parents are dead. This is the only home you have now.
Your father was impressively stupid about some things (women mostly—the first Magical you ever met was Feferi, well known as the best witch in the city), and your mother died when you were very little, but you grew up on the radical side. Your father taught you about the monarchy, about how it really is, and you grew up wanting to leave it. Then you met the Magicals when Kankri introduced you to the group (though your father did not get an introduction, with his whole misogyny thing) and you discovered the plan to overthrow the government and you thought, what the hell? It's not like it gets much worse.
You had one foot in and one foot out until you were fourteen and your father died. Then you were a squire for two years, and very recently you became a knight. You enjoy your title as a knight and your title in the Magicals, because you feel they both describe you well.
You notice that one of the thieves seems to have stolen a mirror and examine yourself. You have very dark hair, nearly black, and gray eyes. Your brother and you have the same eyes, but his hair is the color of wood and much less messy. You'd like to think you're taller than him, but the reality is that you are rather short and awkward.
At least you're pretty strong.
You turn to the plans you've posted on the wall and inspect them as well. Hopefully you all pull this together and actually do something. For you, for your friends, for your parents and brother.
You would really like that.
Terezi pokes your from behind and you screech loudly. That was not a sound any human should ever make, but she has fucking sharp fingernails. She cackles and you blush. You've wanted to court her since you met her, but it's not the time for that with a government to overthrow. You do have a plan for what government you'll have next: a democracy. You've only heard of them, but you have a rare good feeling about this.
"Hey, Karkles," Terezi says with a sly smile. "How's knighthood treating you?"
"Fine," you shrug. "Some if the shit we do is really hard."
She nods. "No one's raided our village in about a month. It's so easy to just pull off a couple accidents!"
"Have you killed anyone?" you ask, horrified. Your father always taught you that you should never kill anyone.
"Don't be silly!" she laughs, as if that should be obvious. You don't put anything past the thieves and Terezi. Except maybe the horrifying things the king and queen inflict on this forsaken country. "We make it look like magic is being used somewhere, then they raid it, then when there's nothing, the authorities leave."
"This is a really fucking lax village," you comment.
She nods. "It's 'cause everyone here needs our magic. If they killed us, this whole village would die. They all know it, too."
She's right. A lot of villages would be long gone if it weren't for the magic and psychic powers that pervade the world.
You wonder if there are those with magic who work for the royalty.
If there are, you know that you must save them.
No good can come of working for the royalty.