Heyyyyy! So first off, thank you for the reviews! They've encouraged and inspired me to continue this story! I apologize for the delay of this chapter, life has just been very busy! Also, we just got a new puppy, so I've gotten no time to write! So now that it's midnight, I've finally finished this chapter!

Be warned, it's like...Super loooong! Sorry! I just...kept writing and writing! Heh. Hope you guys like it!

WARNING: Lovi's language in this one is...well, you know. Just thought I'd warn ya.

Anywho... I don't own these characters! They belong to Hetalia, which belongs to Himaruya~! Welp...Enjoy!

Lovino didn't want to get up the next day.

Lovino groaned as the alarm continued to blare its annoying ring over and over in his ear. He cracked open his eyes, squinting almost immediately as the bright screen of the alarm burned his eyes in the dark room. He groggily reached over to the nightstand next to the bed and slid his finger across his phone's screen, silencing the relentlessly annoying noise. He glanced around as his eyes grew accustomed to the darkness, growing confused at the different room. Why wasn't he in his room? Did something hap—

It all came back to him like a bullet to the heart. The officer at school, the drive to the river, the news…It all resurfaced in his mind. Feliciano… He was gone. He hadn't come back during the night, saying it was all a dream. He wasn't coming back.

A heaviness weighed in Lovino's chest, slowly seeming to push him down. He suddenly didn't want to get out of bed, much less go to school.

School.

Thinking of the place sent a pang of dread through him. He would have to give the news to everyone; to Antonio, Gilbert, Ludwig.

Ludwig. He was Feliciano's best friend if Lovino remembered correctly. He was blond haired and blue-eyed, had a thicker, muscular, build to him, and a stern personality to match the ever remaining stone-like expression on his face. Personally, Lovino didn't approve of the guy. There wasn't anything specific he could pick out, but he didn't feel comfortable around Ludwig. He looked a lot like a friend Feliciano used to have long ago. He had been Feliciano's closest friend, and Lovino was almost certain the two would blossom into something more, but the boy had left unexpectedly, without a goodbye, and never returned. It had broken Feliciano's heart, sent him crying for weeks, and Lovino could do nothing to console his brother. From then on, Lovino was very protective of his brother as he recovered, and to find that Feliciano had become friends with a boy who looked almost exactly like the one who had crushed his heart set Lovino on edge. Though even after endless questions and accusations, Ludwig still denied ever knowing Feliciano and claimed to have lived in Germany while the two brothers had stayed in Italy. Even as Ludwig seemed completely truthful, Lovino still had his doubts.

But he wouldn't have to doubt or worry about Ludwig anymore. There was nothing to get him worried about the boy anymore.

As much as he disliked Ludwig, though, Lovino still didn't want to break the news to him. Whether he was a stoic person or not, the news of his best friend's death would surely hit him hard. Lovino didn't want to tell the news to anyone, friend of Feliciano's or not.

But it had to come out eventually. News of Feliciano's death couldn't be kept a secret forever, and whether or not Lovino actually told people, the subject of his brother would probably surface sooner or later. Lovino didn't want to wait for that to happen, so as much as he dreaded it, he knew he was better off sharing the news now.

After laying with his thoughts for a couple more minutes, Lovino forced himself to sit up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. The world spun momentarily at the sudden movement, and he put a hand to his forehead to steady his focus. He stood and dressed himself, then took one more look at the room around him. The sinking feeling in him grew, putting a heavy weight on him from his shoulders to his feet. He finally turned around and trudged out into the hall, and then downstairs into the kitchen.

As he walked in, he was met with his grandfather sitting at the table with a mug of coffee in his hand. He didn't look much better than Lovino. His hair was disheveled, his posture slumped, his eyes glistening slightly. He glanced up and caught sight of Lovino, his eyes widening.

"Lovino!" He exclaimed. "I-I didn't know you were going to school today. I though you would want to take a day to rest."

Lovino shook his head. "No. Might as well just go and get the day over with."

"Lovi..." His grandfather looked sadly at him. He opened his mouth, but hesitated with his words, as if having second thoughts about them. Finally, he managed a small smile at his grandson. "Alright. Have a good day then. Stay safe."

Lovino nodded but said nothing more. With a quick glance at the clock, he headed out the door to the bus stop, not caring for a breakfast. It was raining outside, the sky sending a steady drizzle to the earth. Lovino didn't bother covering his head, he hadn't even put on his jacket, as he continued to the bus stop. Shortly after he arrived at the curb, now partially drenched, the bus came and he stepped on. He said nothing as he found his seat and immediately scooted to the window. He stared out blankly, watching as the bus pulled away and started down the road. The ride was mainly quiet until…

Poke. "Yo, dude! Why such a long face?"

Lovino grimaced. It was Alfred, a kid he had seen Feliciano socialize with at times. Another friend probably. He said nothing in response.

Another poke. "Heeeeeey! I'm talkin' to ya! It's not nice to ignore people, bro."

"It's not polite to annoy people, either, but apparently you have no problem doing that." Lovino muttered out quietly.

"Whoa, man, chill. What's got your tail in a knot?"

Lovino gritted his teeth, about to answer with a snide remark when another voice interrupted.

"Leave him alone. He might be tired, you know."

Lovino recognized the voice to be the one of Elizabeta, a girl with long brown hair who always chose to hung out with the snobby musician, Roderich. He didn't know her that well, but like Alfred, he had seen his brother hang out with her a couple of times.

"Yeah, but he can at least answer, am I right, Artie" Alfred protested.

"Mm." Was his only answer.

"I'm just saying," Elizabeta crossed her arms. "He could be having a rough morning or something. I think you should just leave him be."

Lovino could hear Alfred mumbling a few arguments, but drowned out his voice, turning his attention back to the window as he gazed at the droplets of water that clung to the glass. He closed his eyes lightly, attempting to get some rest as the bus continued to make its way to school.

Lovino could feel the bus slow to a stop as it pulled into the school. He sat up and gathered his things, staring ahead silently until the doors opened and he walked off. He then started towards the building his first class was in, simply wanting to get the morning over with. A sudden hand clapped his shoulder, startling him.

"Hola, Lovi!"

"Hey!" He snapped, his voice hoarse from the other night. "What the hell, man?" He turned to face his close friend, Antonio. He glared into Antonio's green eyes.

"Aw, Lovi, why so angry so early? Is it the weather that has you all gloomy?" Teased Antonio.

"No, now screw off, bastard." Lovino narrowed his eyes and then turned away, mumbling. "And how many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?"

"Aw, I'm sorry, Lovi-er-Lovino," The Spaniard smiled sheepishly as he scurried to catch up to Lovino, who had started to walk ahead. "Don't be mad at me, pleaaaaase? Oh! You must tell me what happened yesterday when you got called out! We're all dying to know, Gilbert, Francis, Alfred, and I and lots of others, too! There were police cars out and everything!"

He said nothing in return to Antonio's rambling, his heart dropping at the reminder of yesterday. He continued walking in silence, ignoring his friend's probing at him.

"Loviiiiiii~!" Antonio whined. "Why won't you tell meeeee?"

After another minute or so of the other's relentless pleads for the news, Lovino gave an exasperated sigh. Stopping momentarily outside of the building they had reached, he turned to face Antonio, his expression serious. "Alright, alright. Gather everybody, my friends and my brother's. We'll meet out by the three trees at lunch and I'll tell you all. Got it?"

Antonio nodded quickly with a smile. "Si! Hopefully Feli will join us, too. I wanna know if he knows anything as well. Though…Feli wasn't here yesterday. Is he better today?"

Lovino's throat burned at the mention of his dead brother, the little nickname he was always called stinging his heart. He swallowed and looked down. "Just…bring everyone, okay? Don't ask questions, just do it. I'll explain everything, so don't pry, got it? I'm going to class. I'm not going to be late because of your lazy ass asking me all these pointless questions." With that, he turned around and headed towards the door of the building. "Bastard…" He muttered under his breath.

Antonio watched Lovino head inside, a somewhat confused expression growing on his face. Something seemed off about Lovino, like something was bothering him, yet he had no idea what it was. But then again, the stubborn Italian was usually like that; too headstrong to admit or share his own struggles. Antonio had to sometimes pester Lovino for days before finally getting a few words out of him. It wasn't healthy for the other to keep it all in, and Antonio knew that full well. So he hoped that whatever Lovino had to share at lunch today would give them a glance into Lovino's heart, his true feelings. Maybe then, they could help them.

Lovino's classes went in a blur. His mind was racing with thoughts upon thoughts, blocking out the information that the teachers provided during the class period. He took notes, as usual, but paid no attention to what he was writing. He was out of it; completely in his own world of thoughts. By the time his last class came before lunch, he had forgotten what subject he even had. During the last forty-five minutes before lunch, the dread of having to actually explaining the situation began to settle deep in Lovino's gut. He really didn't want to do it. He wanted to go home, curl up in bed, and never come out.

Swallowing down his anxiety, he put on his usual stern expression and made his way to the place he had told Antonio. He gripped his paper-bag lunch tightly in one hand. He most likely wouldn't get around to eating it, knowing that explaining the whole situation would eradicate his faint appetite. Upon arriving to the three specific trees outside of one of the buildings of the school, surrounded by green grass, he saw Antonio with a group of other students waiting for him. There was Feliciano's friends; Ludwig, of course, with Kiku, Elizabeta, Roderich, Alfred, and Arthur. Then there was Lovino's friends, which consisted of Antonio, Gilbert, who was Ludwig's older brother, and Francis, a French kid who always seemed to be pestering Arthur when he wasn't around Gilbert and Antonio. Seeing Lovino, they all gave a small smile, though their eyes seemed to hold a question to them. They were curious about what Lovino had to say.

The Italian sighed and took a seat in the grass. He chewed his lip, going through the words he had prepared himself to say.

"So, Lovi," Began Antonio. "What'd you wanna tell us?"

Taking in a small breath, Lovino looked up at the others. "So, as you know, I was called out of fifth period yesterday to address a situation, and there happened to be police in the parking lot as well. To answer any questions about that, yes, the situation involved them."

"Uh, Lovino, we kind of guessed that." Arthur commented.

"Hey! You want me to explain this or not?!" Lovino snapped. "It's not nice to interrupt, you tea-bastard!"

"Now, now, Lovi," Antonio put a hand on Lovino's shoulder, though the Italian quickly jerked away. "There's no need to have a harsh tone. Just continue telling us what happened, okay?"

With a huff, Lovino crossed his arms and continued. "As I was saying, the situation involved the police. Also, you probably noticed that my brother, Feliciano, as you all know, was absent from school that day."

"Yeah!" Interjected Alfred. "He totally missed my cool conversation on the bus! He was sick, right?" The boy's eyes suddenly widened. "Wait…the police weren't here because he suddenly worsened, right?!"

"No…" Lovino said, his gaze moving to the ground. "They came to bring me somewhere. It…It was a place they said they found a body, and they wanted me to see if I recognized it." He paused, taking a couple breaths to steady his voice. "They wanted me to see if the body was…was Feliciano."
A gasp came from the group, and as Lovino took a quick glimpse at everyone, he could see the worried anticipation in their eyes.

"So…" Ludwig spoke up hesitantly. "It wasn't…right?"

Lovino swallowed dryly. His chest began to hurt, and breathing seemed harder than it was before. "They found the body in the river by where I live. It was freezing. No one could survive long if they jumped in. The body was still wet when I saw it, but…" His voice choked up, tears pricking at his eyes. "I-It was him… There was no mistaking it… Feliciano is…d-dead…" His breath hitched and Lovino quickly brought a hand to cover his mouth in an attempt to muffle the small cries that threatened to escape him.

A shocked silence loomed over the group, the others all wearing the same horrified expression as they processed the news the Italian had just presented to them. Alfred gulped. "You…You don't mean it was, um…suicide…was it?"

Lovino nodded weakly. He sniffed a couple times, his voice wavering as he spoke up. "H-he had j-jumped in the…the night before. It was terrifying… His arms…" He broke off the sentence, hunching over slightly as the cries that had been suppressed came rushing up. As hard as he tried to fight them, tears still snaked their way down his face. "T-they…they…" He couldn't finish. His words continued to be interrupted by cries.

As he feebly attempted to get himself together again, Lovino felt a pair of arms wrap around him. He then felt himself being pulled against a chest, and smelled the familiar scent of a garden and the countryside. He glanced up through teary eyes, and out of his blurry vision, he saw Antonio, holding him close and dear. He leaned into his friend, his cries turning into sobs. He hadn't wanted to break down like this, especially in front of this many people, but the news still felt unreal to him, and it hurt so much to say it out loud.

"Lovi…" Antonio said in a quiet voice. "I'm…I'm so sorry. That's awful… And what's worse is that none of us knew he was suffering."

"H-He didn't tell a-anybody…He never d-did," Lovino managed in a shaky sentence. "A-and…and nobody e-ever noticed…We c-could've helped him, b-but…but…" His eyes renewed with more tears and he choked on a sob. "B-But now it's too late! H-He's gone…!"

By now, the other's in the group had their eyes misty as well. Elizabeta cried softly into Roderich's shoulder as the musician stared ahead sadly. Alfred continuously wiped at his nose and eyes, his breath hitching. Arthur looked down, blinking back the tears that tried to fill his eyes. Francis let his flow freely, looking sadly at Lovino as tears dripped down his face one by one. Kiku stared at his feet, biting his lip as his breathing began to grow shaky. Gilbert put a hand on Ludwig, who still stared in shocked horror at the news.

"Why…?" Ludwig mumbled. "Why…why would he do such a thing to himself?"

Lovino lifted his head to glare at the blond. "What do you think I've been trying to figure out ever since I saw his dead body?!" He snapped in a hoarse voice. Ludwig flinched at the harsh words, hurt flashing across his face, but he said nothing.

"Shh, Lovi," Antonio said. "He's affected by the news just as you are. All of us are wondering the same thing. There's no need to get angry. It'll be okay."

"Okay?" Lovino wrenched himself out of Antonio's hold, staring at him with a mixture of surprise and sudden fury. "Okay?! How the hell can you say that?! My brother is dead! He fucking killed himself! How the hell is that okay?!"

"Lovino, calm down—"

"NO!" Lovino yelled, tears streaming faster as anger mixed with the grief inside of him. "I won't calm down! How can I be calm in this situation?! How can you even have the balls to expect me to?! You bastard, you don't even care! You don't understand the pain of having your own little brother taken away from you! You don't get it at all! You can't feel what I feel!"

"Lovino!" Francis interrupted sharply. "That's enough!"

Lovino turned, glaring at the Frenchman. He opened his mouth to retort something, but Francis spoke first.
"Listen, we know we can't feel the amount of hurt you must be experiencing right now. It's probably more than we can think of! But there is no excuse for you to act out like this! Feliciano's death has affected all of us, no matter how long we've known about it." His tone softened, and he stared Lovino in the eye sternly, yet sympathetically. "Feliciano was our friend. He may not have been a brother, but we all felt a great connection to him. He brought smiles into our lives. He laughed with us. Cried with us. Spent every day with us…until now. And…It's our fault we never noticed the pain he carried within himself. That guilt will be burdened within us until we die, just as it is in you." Lovino opened his mouth again to say something, but Francis held up a finger. "But, we can't just break down and dig ourselves into a pit. We must move on. For Feli's sake, and our own. We can't let our grief and emotions get the better of our actions, and let us make rash decisions. Do you understand?"

Lovino looked down, but gave a small nod.

"Good," Francis said. "That doesn't mean we don't hurt. Like I said, this affects all of us. But we will be here for each other. We will help each other through this, no?" He looked around at the others, giving a small gesture. "C'mon guys. We're going to be here for each other through this tough time, right?"

One by one, the others nodded their head in conformation. Antonio put his hand on Lovino's head with a soft pat. He looked down at the teary-faced boy and smiled sadly. "We'll help you get through this, Lovi. We'll be right along with you during this time, okay?"

Lovino nodded, but didn't say anything at first. After a couple moments of silence, he spoke up softly. "Um…we're gonna hold a funeral for him in about a week or so. My grandfather said I could invite some people to it…so…if you guys want to come and all, um, feel free. We're holding it at the park since that was one of Feli's favorite places to go when he was alive. But you guys don't have to come. No one's gonna force you."

Antonio clasped Lovino's shoulder reassuringly. "Of course we'll be there. Are you going to say anything?"

Lovino shrugged. "Probably. I've gotta figure out what to say first."

"Well, if you need any help with that, I bet Artie'll lend ya a hand." Alfred said, nudging Arthur. He smiled a little. "This kid's like, crazy about writing. Gets all A's in English class, that's for sure!"

"Hey! Don't go spitting my grades out to everyone, you git!" Arthur snipped at Alfred. He then turned to Lovino. "Well, as this moron said, I'd be happy to give you a hand if you need help with writing your speech."

"Ooh! I wanna help in some way, too!" Alfred piped up. "I know! I'll write some jokes! That way the funeral won't be too depressing, y'know?"

"I can bake some thing's that Feli always enjoyed if you'd like," ELizabeta put in.

"I can compose some music in honor of him, I guess." Roderich said quickly after Elizabeta.

"I can create some beautiful decorations," Smiled Francis, flipping a hand through his longer hair. "Even if it is a funeral, a little bit of decoration wouldn't hurt."

The others that were left quickly volunteered to help set up everything when the time came and provide other goodies, gifts, and such. Lovino looked around to each person, fighting the small smile that tugged at his lips. He wiped his eyes, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "Thanks guys. I appreciate it a lot."

"Any time, mon ami." Francis winked. "And remember, we're here for you, okay? Don't be afraid to come to us If you're struggling."

"Yeah, got it."

"Good." He stood up, stretching his arms out, and yawned. "Well then, I do believe lunch is just about over, so I am going to grab my things and be on my way to my next class."

The others nodded in agreement and stood up as well. One by one they headed off until it was simply Antonio and Lovino left. The Spaniard looked over Lovino with worried eyes.

"Is…Is there anything else I can do for you, Lovino?"

Lovino looked over at Antonio, then down at the ground. He shrugged. "I don't think so. It's…just going to be difficult for a while."

"I understand." He paused. "But, just as Francis said, don't be afraid to come to us if you need someone to comfort you. It isn't good to hold it all in. I worry about you."

Lovino looked back up at Antonio, his expression somewhat confused. "You worry about me?"

"Well, yeah." Antonio shrugged, red hinting at his cheeks. "I care about you a lot. You're my friend, and so if something is bothering you, I want to help all I can. But when you hide it all the time, when you bury your feelings and pain away, then I can't help, and it worries me. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

Lovino didn't respond. He hadn't known that Antonio worried about him so much. It was true that he tended to hide his feelings and cast them away or bottle them up, but he hadn't thought it was a big deal to the Spaniard. To hear that Antonio cared about him, and actually worried about him, sent a small, warm feeling through him. He didn't really notice it though under all the other things that weighed down on him. "I'll…I'll try to come to you guys if I need anything, okay? I can't promise, but I'll try."

"Good enough for me," Antonio replied, smiling a bit. "I'll see you later then? I should probably get ready for class. Wouldn't want to be late."

"Ah, yeah, yeah." Lovino nodded. "Catch you later. And…Thanks for listening to me today. Sorry I kinda made a scene and stuff…"

"Don't worry about it." Antonio shook his head. "You're going through something that's very tough. It's okay to cry and break down in these situations. Just know that we're here for you."

He gave another nod. "Got it."

"Hah, alright," Antonio smiled. "Hang in there Lovi." And with that, he turned and began to head off to another building.

Lovino watched Antonio walk off, taking in a deep breath of air. Although the burden of grief on him was still very heavy, it felt somewhat lighter now that he had actually told his friends about what happened. And now he had something to focus on with them, and not all by himself. He would get through the week. He could make it. And when it was over, he would focus on the funeral. And when that was done, well…he wasn't quite sure what he would do.

But perhaps that was okay.

Perhaps he would simply take that time to focus on healing.

Yeah, that sounded nice.

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Was it okay? You guys like it? Or did I totally butcher it... (-) I didn't get to the funeral in this chapter, so I will in the next! But if my writing is too terrible, just tell me and I'll make sure to end the story after that. I'll just do what you guys want, really. Anyway, so...yeah. OH! Just saying, but chapters will not be frequent! They might take a while to write since I don't have lots of time...But I will continue to try and get them out as quick as I can!

Reviews are always appreciated! Thanks for reading, guys! Ciao for now! :D