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Disclaimer: You people have short memories don't ya?

Rule 63 A.K.A the 'Guns, lots of guns.' Rule

It started with a note that said simply 'Wake up Kazuhiro".

The ANBU appreciated the joke, especially when it was at the expense of their paranoid planning officer. Not paranoid to dangerous levels per se, unless of course you were an enemy nin caught in one of his elaborate traps.

They quietly applauded when two pills, one red one blue made their appearance on his desk with the note that said only "Choose!"

They passed off his sudden addiction to black shades and trench-coats as just another quirk he'd developed after spending long hours locked up alone in the dimly lit planning room.

When he started referring to himself as 'The One' and attempting a 'Bullet-Time Jutsu', then they started worrying.

The final straw came when he was stopped at the security desk for carrying way too many kunai, shuriken and various other assorted pointy objects, even by ANBU standards.

A partial itinerary follows

Offiical Security Log

Name Of Detainee:Kazuhiro

Items Confiscated:

12 Ninjato

13 Katana

2000 shuriken

4000 kunai

Detainee's reason for carrying:

"To kill those bastard Agents, since I couldn't find any guns!"

Rule 74 A.K.A the 'I need to bleach my brain' rule

The Hokage looked up from the report and glanced at Ibiki before looking back down.

After the fortieth time, Ibiki asked with the slightest hint of exasperation lacing his tone. "Hokage-sama?"

Sarutobi had the grace to look sheepish. "I was just wondering why your team's reports to Intelligence referred to you as, ahem, 'a sex-god'."

Ibiki blushed. "I might have had a little too much to drink last night, sir. It seems my gennin team is now convinced not all my scars are from torture, at least not the unpleasant kind."

"Understood, dismissed." The Hokage shook his head as he drafted a new addition to the 'Rules'. "When has torture ever been pleasant? I'm surprised his team's as sane as they are." He mused.

Soundtrack: 'Smooth Criminal'- Michael Jackson