Police work is never easy. Even on the good days she is still haunted by the thought of the ones they haven't caught yet, the monsters still roaming free. Some cases are harder than others, and sometimes they don't end neatly, they don't end the way she'd want them to. In the end, they'd caught the murdering bastard, but not before he'd taken another set of victims. Not before he'd embroiled her in a bloody shootout that could only end one way for him.

Her thoughts have been chasing each other, and she flinches from the memory of gunfire. The sour tang of gunpowder left lingering in the air like some macabre perfume. It will pass, these horrible memories always do. but for the moment she can't breathe properly. As if her entire being is cinched up tight, as if ready to spring into action and avert the crisis in her mind.

"Lisbon?"

She blinks wearily, lifting her head from it's perch on her crossed arms on her desk. She was exhausted, the case had made her weary. As many of the traumatic ones did.

To her infinite surprise it was Patrick standing at the door to her office, his face an almost perfect picture of concern. Her foggy brain noted that he looked as sharp as he always did. impeccable vest buttoned over a business shirt and slacks. He must have a whole closet of the blasted things.

"Are you alright? You've seemed out of it since we got back."

She isn't surprised that he's noticed that. more that he'd bring it up. She waves his concerns away with a vague gesture of her right hand, muttering feebly, "I'm just tired."

A smile tugged at his lips, "you do remember who you're talking to…right?"

How could she forget? He haunted her dreams and waking hours equally. She let out a soft sigh, sinking back into her office chair. And for a moment her eyes fall closed, when she opens them he is startlingly close, kneeling in front of her. how long had she closed her eyes for?!

"You can't lie to me Lisbon. I know you. I know that you're blaming yourself for what went down, for not figuring it out fast enough, for not getting there fast enough."

He's too close, his eyes too intense for her to get her shields up in time. so the words struck her at her most vulnerable aching spots. Her breath rushes out in a painful exhalation through barely parted lips, "it was my fault Patrick. I should have been faster. I shouldn't have let anything slow us down."

She shudders as the images of a gunfight that should never have happened floated into her brain. the damn trigger happy sheriff had unceremoniously dumped her squad to the side and rushed ahead without them. she could still smell the blood, still hear the high horrified screaming of a child who watched their parents die at the hands of a murderer.

"Lisbon…Teresa…please. Listen to me…okay?"

The nod happens before she's even fully aware of consenting.

"You are not to blame here. you told them not to go in, you did everything you could. You can't keep beating yourself up over this."

To her immense surprise he hugs her.

For a second she is stunned into immobility. He doesn't hug her or anyone for that matter. But he's hugging her. She can smell peppermint and she knows that's from his tea. but she also catches a strong decisive whiff of his scent and his rich cologne. It played along her senses like a ghost.

Her body betrays her, her hands coming up to rest on his sides, her eyes sliding closed and her entire form relaxing into him. her breath escapes her in something that was almost a sob.

It's comforting, that's all it can be. She can feel the warmth he exuded, almost like a furnace. It was wonderful and she wanted to drink it in, absorb it through her skin so that her heart could keep beating.

His hands rub soothing motions on her back, holding her against him even as his curls tickle her ear.

"I didn't think you hugged people."

He chuckled, "I do when the occasion calls for it."

"if you pickpocket me I should warn you that I'll make sure you regret it."

"Promises, Promises"

She laughed. And it surprises her that she can. For the first time since she closed the case she can breathe again.

Authors note: See told you i'd get it up soon :D What do you guys think?