a/n: Just so you know I'm going to be changing my username on here to better match my tumblr swans-and-pirates. So when the next update comes from a different username don't be confused :) Please leave a review!
Killian wakes to the shifting of blankets as Emma rolls over and presses herself into his side.
"It's cold," she murmurs, her voice husky from sleep as she burrows deeper into him. Killian jumps a little when she presses her cold nose against the hollow of his neck, but chuckles at the way she sighs happily. He resituates himself and wraps his arms around her, pulling her closer and burying his nose in her hair.
She tucks her toes into the space between his legs next, and he jumps again. Her toes are just as frigid as her nose.
"Bloody hell, you're freezing, love." His breath puffs out in front of him in a white cloud, testifying to the drop in temperature that took place during the night.
"And you're warm," she hums, nuzzling even closer.
Killian lifts his head from his pillow and peeks down at her to find that her eyes are still closed as if, along with warmth, she's seeking just a few more minutes of sleep.
Dropping his head back against his pillow, Killian stares up at the tent's ceiling and rubs his hand up and down Emma's back absentmindedly.
As of late, Killian's found himself cherishing the mornings. Even if they just consist of him holding Emma and feeling the relaxed rhythm of her breathing as she sleeps. If he's being honest with himself, it's taken him a few days to adjust to living at camp—he was so used to always being alone. And though being with others is nice, Killian finds that more than anything he misses the hours upon hours he used to have with Emma all to himself.
Which is why Killian is never one to rush them out of bed in the morning, and it's never hard to convince Emma to linger just a little longer under the covers. A few lazy kisses are more than enough to get her to stay.
But this morning, the cold might just be enough to keep them here all day, the heat between them much more welcoming than the unforgiving and frigid air.
He's not sure what type of weather or seasons this planet goes through, but the air has been getting increasingly colder each day and he's noticed an unmistakable layer of frost clinging to the ground each morning.
He figures it's only going to get colder, which means they need to find a way to not only insulate their shelter, but find a way to supplement their wardrobe with warmer clothes. Because as much as he loves the idea of cuddling with Emma for warmth all day long—it's not a very practical answer in the long run.
Thoughts on how to buffer the inevitable winter bounce around his head as he skims his fingers up and down Emma's spine while she sleeps. It's probably a good half an hour later when he feels Emma stir against him, and looking down at her he watches as she yawns and blinks her eyes open.
"Have you ever been hunting?" He asks before she's even fully awake, his fingers never stopping their path up and down her back. He figures animal skin is one of the surest and easiest materials they'll be able to find to protect them from the oncoming winter.
He feels Emma's soft laughter vibrate against his chest. "Hunting? No, I can't say that I have." And she sounds just a little baffled at being asked such a strange question first thing in the morning.
"Well," he muses, "it's getting colder and I figure we're going to need a little more than these flimsy shelters to keep us warm. And I'm sure the camp would appreciate some fresh meat—so what do you say, Swan? Come hunting with me?"
She props herself up by resting her forearms on his chest and looks down at him. Killian smirks a little at the way she looks with her hair a tousled mess and her head tilted to the side as she stares at him and blinks. And it's quite endearing to watch as she tries to get her sleep muddled brain on the same page as the conversation he sprang on her before her eyes were completely open.
"I don't know…" she deliberates. "My experience with the wild animals here hasn't been all too pleasant if you remember."
And he does. He remembers all too well the panic in his own heart when she'd been cornered by that wild cat.
But that was under completely different circumstances.
He reaches up to tuck some of her hair behind her ear. "Yes. But this time we aren't going to be the prey."
"This is true," she hums as she begins playing with the collar of his shirt. Warm silence envelopes them, and Killian finds himself distracted by the way Emma's soft features spread into an amused smile. It's not the first time he's found himself wishing he knew what she was thinking. But he doesn't have to wait long to discover just what it is that has her so entertained. There's an almost teasing quality in the way she bites at her lip as she traces the edge of his shirt, her fingertips brushing a tantalizing path against his skin before she finally speaks again. "But how exactly are we going to catch anything bigger than a bunny? I've seen your snares, they're not that big." She looks up at him through her lashes; the mischief is clear in both her eyes and her smile.
He rolls his eyes at her teasing and contemplates kissing the smirk right off her lips. "Please, Swan. Those snares were never meant to catch anything bigger than a rabbit. Your doubt wounds me."
"Mmhmm, sure it does." Her fingers move from his shirt to his neck and then slide up into his hair as she brings herself closer to him. And Killian's suddenly distracted by the way her nose brushes against his own and by the way her breath tickles across his lips as she speaks. "When do you want to leave?"
"Uh…whenever you…" He's not sure he remembers how to form a complete sentence, and he's not sure that he minds. Not when all he can think about right now is closing the slight distance between their lips.
His eyes drift close as he leans towards her, but his lips barely skim against hers when he feels her suddenly pull away. Confused, he blinks open his eyes and furrows his brow as he looks up at her.
She's staring at the tent wall behind him with far too much intensity than the blank wall warrants, and her forehead crinkles as her mouth gapes open. There's a sort of internal curiosity in her gaze that Killian can't place.
"Emma?"
When she doesn't answer, doesn't even so much as acknowledge that she heard him, Killian feels the beginnings of concern start to swirl in his stomach. Sitting up a little so he can look her in the eye, he tries asking her again. "Emma, what is it?"
Her eyes dart around for a second before they finally lock onto his. But still she doesn't say anything, and the longer it takes her to respond the more his anxiety storms inside him.
Smoothing a hand up her arm, he squeezes her shoulder gently, trying to be patient as he waits for her to say something. To say anything.
"It…it's nothing really," she finally stammers out, licking her lips when Killian gives her an incredulous look, because there's no way this is nothing. "I just felt the planet's magic again for a second, that's all."
That's all?
She's felt the planet's strange humming practically since they first landed and he's only seen it make her pause like this once before. Right before the thing practically tortured her in order to get her to go where it wanted.
Killian's heart hammers a disjointed rhythm against his ribcage and he suddenly has trouble swallowing. And as much as he tries to hide his sudden fear, his voice comes out pathetic and quivering. "Like last time? Before it led us here?"
"Yeah, a little like that." And Killian can't believe how nonchalant she's being about all of this. Sure it led them to other survivors, but who's to say that wasn't a decoy just to get them to trust it?
Silence beats between them for the space of several seconds as he continues to stare at her and fumbles with a way to keep his panic under control as well as formulate a plan to keep her safe from the planet's magic.
"You know what? Let's go hunting tomorrow. I've got a few supplies I need to find first." Because the last thing he wants to do now that the planet has decided to ramp up its magic voodoo again, is take Emma out into the forest where it was able to wrap its claws around her the first time.
"Okay?" Emma agrees, but her voice rises at the end, her confusion at his demeanor clear. "It really was nothing, Killian."
"Right. Nothing." He pulls himself into a sitting position, Emma slowly following his lead. "Let's just get ready and then go find something to eat, shall we?"
He can feel Emma staring at him as he grabs his shoes from their place at the end of the bed and tugs them on. She still doesn't move from her spot as he searches their sparse belongings for a jacket and slings his arms through it, pulling the thing on with a little more vigor than necessary.
"I'll be outside," he says looking over his shoulder to find Emma still staring at him, the little lines that form between her eyes when she worries about something in plain sight.
And maybe she thinks he's overreacting, and maybe he is. But he's not willing to risk it. He's not willing to risk her.
She might trust whatever led them here. But he sure as hell doesn't.
-CS-
Emma walks out of their tent several minutes after Killian's sullen departure. It had taken her a little longer to find clothes warm enough to greet the day with. And despite the extra layers, the icy air still seeps through her clothing and bites at her exposed skin.
She pulls down the sleeves of her jacket until the fabric covers her hands and then folds her arms and tucks her hands into her sides as she shivers against the cold. Looking up at the sky she sees nothing but gray—a mixture of both clouds and fog that block out any warmth the sun has to offer this morning. The hazy air presses down on the earth like a shadow, and it makes everything much darker and feel much earlier than it actually is.
Scanning the area near her, she spots Killian a few feet away, he's sitting on the log they'd brought over a few days ago to give them somewhere else besides the ground to sit on, with a fire already blazing. With a heavy sigh she begins the few slow steps it takes to reach him and lowers herself down to sit next to him.
"Hi," she breathes in greeting even though they've only been apart for a few minutes.
He gives her a quick glance before returning his attention to the breakfast he's cooking over the flames. "Hi."
He's brooding. And she knows he's just worried about her, and she can't fault him that even if it is an overreaction. But it's not like she's in any danger or anything.
She sighs again and scoots closer to him until her body is pressed against his. Threading her arm through one of his, she rests her head against his shoulder and lays her other hand on top of his forearm. "It really was nothing, Killian. I mean, I felt it with the same strength as I did last time but it only lasted a few seconds. Nothing else accompanied it—no pain or anything."
She feels him release a long exhale before he shifts and presses a kiss to her forehead. Emma lets her eyes close as his lips linger on her skin.
"I just worry about you," he whispers as he pulls away.
"I know," she says simply. And after what happened in the forest she can't blame him, even if she believes in her heart that the planet's magic doesn't have a malicious intent towards her.
They sit in peaceful silence and let the warmth of the fire wrap around them, Killian only moving from his spot by her side to occasionally check their breakfast. Soon sounds of the rest of the camp waking up fill the air, but except from a brisk greeting from the grouchy old man whose tent sits across from theirs, they're left alone.
It's not until after they've finished eating that Ruby and Elsa come waltzing up to them, arms filled with what she can't quite identify.
"Hey, you two," Ruby sings in greeting before dropping the load in her hands. Emma can now make out a tarp and some rope mixed in with other random odds and ends. "Elsa and I were just about to make my tent, because as much as I love rooming with her, I'm sure she doesn't appreciate my tendency to sprawl out while sleeping."
Elsa rolls her eyes, but the action loses all vitriol when accompanied with her soft smile. "I told her she could stay. I think it has more to do with the fact that she wants her own space again."
Ruby shrugs, not denying it before reaching down into her dropped pile and picking up a hammer. She tosses it lightly towards them and Emma flinches covering her face, but Killian stretches his arm out and catches the tool with ease.
Emma looks up and shoots a glare at her. She can't believe she really just threw a hammer of all things at them.
Ruby just grins and shrugs again. "What do you say handyman? We could use some muscle." She winks at Killian, laughing when the tips of his ears turn pink.
Emma smiles to herself, fully enjoying the fact that she can see his blush spread down the back of his neck. She doesn't think she's really every seen him get embarrassed and she kind of loves it.
Killian scratches at the back of his neck and huffs a bit trying to play off his obvious blush and Emma's smile only grows wider. He gives the hammer a superfluous twirl and stands, grabbing her hand as he does so and easily pulling her to her feet with him.
"Alright then, show us where you want your tent."
They work together putting up Ruby's tent, Emma often holding the branches in place as Killian ties off the tarp. She finds herself smiling as she listens to him quietly explain to her what type of knot he's using and why he's using it. She loves when he shares what he knows with her, loves the quiet passion in his explanations.
It's during one of these quiet lessons that Emma feels the buzzing again. It comes sudden and unexpected, the strength of it hitting her out of nowhere. It feels like a swift wind that rushes through the campsite and blows through her hair and tugs at her clothes. The humming feels even more intense than it did this morning, but much like earlier it doesn't linger—departing as rapidly as it enters.
It's not until she feels the tension radiating off Killian besides her that she realizes she must have frozen when she felt it.
"Was it the humming?" he asks. And when she looks up into his eyes the same storminess that was there this morning is present.
She smiles in an attempt to reassure him and reaches for his hand to squeeze his fingers. "Same as this morning, I promise it's not anything to worry about."
She can tell by the look in his eyes that he doesn't necessarily agree with her sentiment.
And she doesn't think it's anything dangerous to worry about at least. But she'd be lying if she said these quick and abrupt appearances haven't made her curious. Is it trying to lead her somewhere again? Is it trying to tell her something different? Should she listen?
Will she have a choice?
And as much as she knows that Killian hates the humming, hates that it hurt her, she can't help but trust it. It led them to survivors didn't it?
As the day goes on, the humming continues to get stronger. Each time it appears in a burst more powerful than the last, and each incident lasts longer than the previous. And she tries not to show any signs that she feels it, but she knows she fails each time Killian stiffens beside her. But after the episode at Ruby's tent he doesn't say anything. He only clenches his jaw and gives her a tight smile when she threads her fingers through his.
But each rush of humming that she feels only serves to increase her curiosity. Especially when she considers that, as far as she can tell, Elsa hasn't felt any of these strange bursts of magic.
Well, either she hasn't felt it, or she's much better at hiding this sort of thing than Emma is. But she doesn't think Elsa is good at being that stoic, as much as she pretends to be.
But the fact that she doesn't think Elsa can feel it only confirms to Emma that the magic is trying to reach her for some reason. And as the day wears on the need to figure out what that reason is builds inside her chest until it saturates every breath she takes. She's practically itching to head into the forest again and see if that spurs it into giving her more definitive directions.
It's while she's sitting at the campfire next to Killian, Ruby and Elsa have long since retired for the night, that Emma feels the strongest wave of humming since the day started. And this time, the smallest level of pain accompanies it, zipping up her spine like a quick jolt of electricity. She cringes, and because Killian is sitting so close to her he notices.
"It's been happening all day, hasn't it?" His question is almost resigned. He sighs and throws a stick he's been holding into the flames before looking at her. "Is it hurting you?"
She shakes her head, because with the exception of this last one, it really hasn't.
"Don't try to follow it, Swan. Don't seek it out. Please, for me, just let it be."
She gapes at him, amazed that he seems to know the exact thoughts that have been running through her head for the last hour. But despite the tormented look in his eyes, Emma finds herself frustrated that he's so hell-bent against the planet's magic.
She has magic—so it's not like magic in and of itself is anything to worry about.
And it led them to survivors for heaven's sake.
"Killian," she sighs, trying to infuse softness in her tone in a hope to soothe his fears. "I really don't think it's anything to worry about. I trust it. It led us to survivors." She pauses as something she hadn't considered before invades her thoughts. "What if it's trying to show us a way off the planet? A way home?"
And she hadn't really thought of that as a possibility before, but as she says it she feels an excitement build inside her that's hard for her to tapper down.
What if it's trying to help them get home?
Killian drops his head in his hands and rubs his palms down his face before he looks up at her again. She can tell he's upset, and she sits up a little straighter, preparing herself for whatever words he throws at her to convince her she's wrong. She's not going to let this drop, not when there's a possibility that this is how they get home.
"I've never told you how my brother died." His voice is so low that she almost doesn't hear him. But when she does register his words she feels all the righteous defensiveness in her evaporate. This is definitely not what she expected him to say.
Water gathers in his eyes and Emma's feels her heart break at the way he sucks in a breath to try to keep the tears at bay.
"Killian—"
"He was always so sure of himself," he interrupts her, "and it's a trait I always admired. Always aspired to have…but he could also be a hardheaded fool."
He swallows, and Emma can see the physical effort—the pain—he's enduring to relive this. She places her hand on his thigh, rubbing her thumb back and forth across his leg as she waits for him to continue.
"We were on a mission. Sent to retrieve something of value. But something happened as we journeyed that held up our crew and we were at least a day's journey ahead of the rest of our men. We'd been warned by the locals of the extreme danger that surrounded what we sought. I begged with Liam to wait—to wait until our men caught up with us so we'd be safer. But he…he pulled rank on me. Told me that as his captain he was giving me two options—I could come with him now, or wait alone until the rest of our crew showed up."
His gaze had drifted towards the burning flames during his tale, but he looks at her again, and in the orange light of the fire Emma watches as a single tear slides down his cheek. And her chest aches with a tightness that crawls up her throat and threatens to choke her. She feels her own eyes begin to water and she wishes that she could take his pain, suffer it herself a thousand times over so he wouldn't have to feel it anymore.
"I went with him, of course. But you see, Emma, he ignored every sign of danger, every warning we were given, he ignored all my pleadings and went headfirst into danger anyway." He pauses and drops his gaze to his hands. "I held him as he died. Felt him take his last breath. And not a day goes by that I don't miss him."
Killian reaches for her hand, and she squeezes it desperately but doesn't say a word, sensing that he's not done with what he has to say.
"Emma, I don't trust this. It's hurt you already, and I can't…I can't lose you. Not the same way I lost my brother. Please, love, don't go after this. If it gets worse, if it starts hurting you, we'll revaluate, we'll figure it out together. But don't chase it if you don't need to."
His blue eyes pierce hers as he pleads with her, and she's helpless to do anything but nod in response.
"Okay," she finally whispers, reaching up to brush the tear from his cheek.
Killian's relief at that one word is practically tangible. He smiles a soft, broken, but grateful smile and leans forward to press a kiss to her lips.
Emma tries to ignore the humming the next day—she honestly, truly does. But the more she ignores it the more incessant it becomes. The intensity of it screams at her and by midday she spends less time not feeling the buzzing than she does feeling it.
By the time she eats dinner she has a headache, and it's only spurred on by an occasional burst of magic that sends a familiar pain shooting up her spine.
She knows Killian notices, there's no way he doesn't. But he doesn't bring it up and she's not sure if it's because he trusts that he said enough last night, or if he's waiting for her to tell him it's getting worse.
It's not until that night when she's lying next to a sleeping Killian that she considers the option of following it out into the forest again. She knows Killian doesn't want her to, and she doesn't want to hurt him, especially not after what he shared with her, but it's been over an hour and the humming hasn't stopped. And the bursts of pain are becoming more and more frequent. If this keeps up she's not going to get any sleep.
Sitting up she turns and looks at Killian. She can barely make out more than his silhouette in the darkness. But she can see his chest rise and fall with his quiet breathing and can make out the way pieces of his hair fall in a lazy mess across his forehead.
He's going to hate her when he wakes up.
But this is something she feels like she needs to do, and so leaning over she presses a light kiss to his forehead. "I'm so sorry," she whispers, squeezing her eyes shut as she grimaces. She knows upset isn't going to be enough to cover how he's going to feel come morning.
Extracting herself from the blankets as carefully as she can so she doesn't wake him, Emma locates her shoes and jacket and pulls them on before quietly slipping out of the tent and jogging towards the forest.