Disclaimer:- It got ate.
Rule 31 a.k.a. the 'It came from the kitchen" rule
"But I cut it on the edge of the toaster." Iruka complained.
"So?" Tsunade queried.
"That thing's ancient, plus it doesn't look like it's been cleaned in ages. Why hasn't it been cleaned in ages? "
"I'll find out, okay?"
"But it could be crawling with germs! And in my current weakened state, I could die. All because of that toaster."
"Iruka, for the last time you do not have A.I.D.S! Even if you did, it wouldn't be from a toaster."
"Ebisu used that toaster."
"I'm aware of your team's opinion, varying daily as it is, of Ebisu. I can assure you, Ebisu is not the cause, direct or indirect, of your hypochondria."
"But he's a closet pervert! Wait a minute, what's hypo-typo-hippochondria?"
"Sigh, never mind; take two of these and call me tomorrow afternoon."
Rule 34 a.k.a. the 'You are what you eat' rule
"RRAGH!"
The roar came from the vicinity of the Jounin kitchens, causing a crowd to form, at a safe distance away. Memories of last month's popcorn mini-tsunami were still fresh.
"What the hell is that thing made of?" Shishui Uchiha yelled as the monster sandwich just brushed off his Katon jutsu.
"I believe that is a BLT, my youthful comrade." Gai Maito said before attempting a 'Konoha Senpuu' only to be swatted aside by the now lightly toasted sandwich.
Shishui sighed and ducked to avoid flying debris as Kakashi Hatake, pulling out all the stops, unleashed a Chidori smack dab in the sandwich's center.
"Never ever set foot in the kitchens again! Are we clear Ibiki?" A lettuce covered Kakashi demanded hotly.
Ibiki nodded numbly.
"Soo…" Asuma said, as he surveyed the kitchen's remains while supporting the battered, Jounin with the horrible scars, "Take-out pizza tonight?"
Chapter Soundtrack- 'Nightlife'- Karl Wolf