Chapter 8

Not So Distant Pasts

Caelyn gazed into nothingness as she lay in bed. She did not feel like running this morning, but she could not sleep. The curtains shut out the black sky, soon-to-be-rising sun and the outside world. Surprisingly, the house was as silent as it could possibly be. I wonder if Severus is up.

Thinking of her husband made her smile. Her marriage was going far better than she had anticipated. Of course, she had never assumed that Severus would have graciously taken her into her arms and they live happily every after, because after all this was life, and it didn't work that way. Especially considering they were both Death Eaters and he was second in command. However, it was going incredibly well. He was far more, Caelyn thought for a moment, normal than she would have expected. It was just like being in school, he acted like a regular guy. Her grinned widened blissfully.

A door closed, making Caelyn raise her head from the pillow. Not a five seconds later, she heard the creak of the stairs indicating that someone was descending them. So he is up, she confirmed to herself. Pit pats of raindrops began knock on her window, and soon the familiar smell of rain filled her room. Caelyn loved the rain. She pulled herself up off her warm bed and threw her robe and house shoes on.

She glided down the stairs to the living room. Well, not here. Suddenly, the smell of breakfast hit her, making her mouth water. The smell led her into the kitchen. He wasn't there either.

Mika appeared in front of Caelyn, "Is Mistress hungry?"

"Ya," she replied rubbing her arm absentmindedly, "Do you know where Severus is?".

The house elf was now on a stool attempting to flip sausage in a skillet. She nodded her head, "Master in potions lab, Mistress." A bit of grease popped up, hitting Mika on the arm. She growled at the raw meat and poked it revengefully with a fork. Caelyn found this amusing, not that she was glad the elf got hurt, but because the look on her face was priceless.

Caelyn told the elf to bring the food down when it was ready. She grabbed two cups of coffee and headed towards the lab. When she reached the door Grimm was already holding it open for her. She smiled at him, "Thanks Grimm."

"Anything for my mistress," he bowed as she passed.

Grimm wasn't near as friendly to Caelyn as Mika, but he seemed to cater Severus to no end. But when she thought about it, Mika did the same for her. Perhaps it was a gender issue. Now, however, he was warming up to her. Severus had told her several days ago that Grimm had always served his family and was wary to new comers. It wasn't personal.

When she reached the familiar lair the two shared, she saw him already over a cauldron. His hair was pulled back into a low ponytail. Caelyn found this very flattering to his strong jawline. He looked up from his brew and smiled at her.

"Hello," he called, waving his hand in a manner that told her to come over, "Ooh," he grinned widely reaching for a cup, "Coffee. You're so sweet," he teased, looking at what she was wearing, "that look suites you."

Caelyn returned the smile, "Thank you and you're welcome," she looked at her husband's boiling cauldron, "What are you making?"

He pulled his cup from his mouth and wiped it with his sleeve, "Wolfsbane. That's what the Dark Lord requested when he summoned me." The potion sizzled as he dumped the ingredients he had finished slicing. The smell in the air changed from a bitter smell to a metallic tinge. Caelyn wrinkled her nose.

"That doesn't go in there," she raised an eyebrow and a finger and pointed at two Ashwinder eggs lying neatly on the table.

She watch him smirk at her, "You're lack of faith in my potion making is rather daunting," he kidded, "as I recall, you were the one who couldn't pass last year potions." He looked back down and continued to stir the now silver blue liquid.

"Excuse me?" she returned the egotistical attitude in a playful manner, "I passed."

Severus laughed out, but remained silent for a few moments before chopping up the eggs and adding them as well. She could see the creamy liquid turn into a smooth white color, much like the moon, "You passed because Bella did your work when Slughorn wasn't looking."

A wry smile caught Caelyn's lips, "Well ya." She looked down at her cup of coffee with a longing smile thinking of the days of Hogwarts where all she had to worry about was a potion's examination.

The small tingling in her head returned, but no pressure. She knew it was Severus' bad habit. But they had both resolved that as long as he did not push too hard or he didn't try to access private thoughts that Caelyn deemed too private, he was allowed to use his Legilimens.

Caelyn did miss causing mischief with Bellatrix, "Were you friends with her?"

Severus looked up at her surprised, he opened his mouth, closed it, and then tried again, "Bellatrix and I have an odd relationship, but I was forced to conform to her little group after Lily and I-" he stopped, looking pained. She put two and two together. She remembered the rumors well. It was quite the scandal apparently; 'Gryffindor and Slytherin Are Friends' seemed to linger on every student's tongue. Lily? Maybe she's not his sister.

Caelyn did all too well, "You and Lily-"

A large bang rang throughout the lab room; Severus had slammed his hand on the table with a knife now pinned between it and the granite. She stopped breathing, and watched her husband carefully not sure what to do next.

"There was never anything," he finally said with a forced grin on his face, "just wasn't in the cards."

She nodded, not wanting to push farther. Severus must have felt her discomfort, because he chided in quite quickly, "So what about you, dearest wife. Have you ever had a significant other?"

A grin spread across her face, "Nah, I'm not exactly the," she made air quotes, "'appealing' type."

"Yet you're married," he laughed throwing a spare bit of willow root at her. She giggled and jumped out of the way, "to me nonetheless. That makes me feel good."

"I don't see you trying to shag me," she retorted playfully, but as soon as she said it, she wished she hadn't. Caelyn mentally slapped herself. Shit. Shit. Shit.

He ran his hand through his hair and let out a long and loud breath. Caelyn shifted in place, rather uncomfortable. He wasn't saying anything. She lectured herself silently; she apparently could not keep her mouth shut today. Way to go, you're being incredibly awkward, Caelyn.

"No, no," he sighed, again, "you just caught me off guard."

Severus came out of the bathroom while straightening his bow tie. These little "shindigs," as Lucius liked to put it, were not precisely on the top of his priority - or enjoyment - list. He shoved his annoyance out of his mind and went to check on his wife's progress.

The door was already open, and he slipped in. Caelyn was standing in front of the mirror uncomfortably. Her hands were fidgeting with the hem of her cocktail dress. He gazed at her; she did look lovely.

His mind wandered back to a few days ago in the lab. It was the first time the couple had talked about sensual relations and it wasn't the way Severus had intended to bring it up, yet it reared it's ugly head in anyway. He in no way blamed her; she was only making a joke. But unfortunately, issues with Lily left him scarred in that area. Every time the thought entered his mind, he scolded himself. There was no need to be so rude to Caelyn, but apologizing would certainly force the two to revisit the topic and Severus was in no capacity ready for that.

Caelyn was now facing him, with her bottom lip between her teeth, "I don't look like a harlot do I?" she nervously questioned turning back towards the mirror and trying to pull her dress down.

He playfully rolled his eyes at her, "You worry far too much, dear wife," he chuckled walking to her bed and grabbing her bag, and handed it to her. "You look very nice."

She looked down at the floor, indicating that she was indeed blushing. At least Severus got a kick out of it, and it would probably be the only enjoyment he would receive tonight, "Shall we get this over with?" he offered while holding out his arm.

A glistening smile returned to her lips and she wrapped her arm around his enthusiastically, "You're not much of a party animal, huh?"

Severus shook his head in disgust, "Not at all," he shuddered, "far too many people in a crowded space. Perhaps it's just my experience as a Death Eater that everyone has ulterior motives, and being forced to be no more than two feet from any person makes me apprehensive."

They were traveling by floo network tonight. Severus was in no mood to apparate after his long day of work. Caelyn stepped in first and called out their destination. Once she zipped up into the chimney he repeated her steps.

"Malfoy Manor."

Gingerly, he brushed the ash from his wife's dress and took her arm once again. She smiled in thanks and allowed him to lead her out. They marched, metaphorically speaking, into the Malfoy's large parlor. Many guests had already arrived. Let us just find a solemn corner. Please.

The rush of people made him rigid. It was uncomfortable; there was no other possible way to describe it. He did hope that his wife would not consider his change of mood to be of her account.

"Severus!" a voice called and he felt a hand clapped onto his back. Lucius now stood in front of them, "How is the happy couple this evening?"

Severus curtly nodded, but he heard his wife respond, "Quite well, thank you Mr. Malfoy."

Lucius clicked his tongue, "My dear, you make me sound quite old. Need I remind we went to school together? I am only five years older than yourself."

Caelyn giggled slightly, "Sorry Lucius, with all these formalities, I get lost." Lucius nodded in agreement, keeping his merry mood in his demeanor. Severus had nothing against Lucius during business, but social Lucius and normal Lucius were two different people. Some people's stupidity utterly astounded him.

Severus pulled himself and his wife away. She made no protest. Perhaps she felt as uneasy by Lucius' flirtatious attitude as he did. As the distanced themselves, a hand reached out and gripped Severus' shoulder.

"We must speak," Riddle's voice ordered, "alone. Bring the girl."

There was need to signify that Severus had heard. He swirled Caelyn around and grabbed her wrist, pulling her along with him. She had made a quick cry in protest, but he assumed when he she saw the Dark Lord she understood. She kept up with his stride and her head down.

The two soon found themselves in an empty room. Once they were inside, Riddle warded the doors shut and placed a strong silencing charm to keep curious ears at bay. Severus watched his master in anticipation. He looked towards Caelyn, but her eyes remained glued to the Dark Lord.

Riddle smirked, "Don't look so afraid, my dear." Severus was standing arm to arm with Caelyn; he felt her stiffen and looked over. She was flushed with what he assumed to be embarrassment.

Severus looked to his master, "What is it that you require of us my lord?"

The man's smirk grew, "Oh how well you know me Severus," he chuckled to himself, "but alas I need you and your wife to accompany me on a task to keep another one of my," he paused and looked up to search for the right words, "objects."

Severus caught Caelyn's confused look out of the corner of his eye. Gently he probed, "Objects?"

Both he and Caelyn had been working on Legillimens for a bit now. She could not breach his mind yet, which Severus was immensely grateful for. However, he could project his thoughts into her mind.

"Yes, the Dark Lord has several artifacts, very old things. So far he's given me a diadem and a ring to hide. He has me place charms, potions, and curses around them. I am positive they are valuable, but it seems like a waste of time to me to go to such measures."

He met her eyes for a brief moment, he was sure the Dark Lord had not seen it. Confidently he returned his attention to his master, "Of course, my lord, we will begin preparation immediately."

Riddle nodded, but then looked towards Caelyn, "Enough business. Caelyn, my dear, how are you enjoying marriage?"

Severus could sense her uneasiness. She quickly glanced to him then back to the Dark Lord.

"I am fairing well sir," she answered looking down.

He gave a dark chuckle, "Good to hear, I dare say that Severus is not the easiest man to cozy up to." An uncomfortable silence hung about in the dark lit room.

"Well," Riddle began, "We should rejoin the party before Lucius runs out of things to discuss about himself," he paused at the door, grinning ear to ear, "sometimes I say senseless things."

Completely grateful for the interruption, Severus gave a soft laugh and smiled at his wife. She returned it meekly and took his arm. He was not exactly ready to return to the party, but he mentally promised himself they would leave after dinner.

The Death Eaters were all placed around the large dinner table. The room was dark with a green fire a glow in the fireplace in the center of the room. Severus led Caelyn to the end of the table where Riddle was now sitting. He pulled her chair out for her and took his seat beside the Dark Lord.

"What news do any of you bring?"

A mangy voice spoke first, "I have heard the old oaf started an organization, M' Lord. It is supposed to be full of aurors n' healers. A small army, if you will."

Riddle leaned back in his seat and rubbed his chin with his hand in thought over Dolohov's words, "So Dumbledore is planning to challenge me," he grinned, "how interesting."

Severus was somewhat lost in thought, he had no doubt the "miraculous Marauders" were apart of Dumbledore's little club. He would like nothing more than to personally kill James Potter. Then he could be with Lily. The thought suddenly excited him.

"What do you think of this development Severus?"

His eyes snapped towards Riddle, "I believe that they are indeed collecting the finest witches and wizards they can, we should not take them lightly," he pondered for a moment. Many of the people at the table were gawping at him, "however, most of us are pureblood, and the rest halfblooded at best. They would be fools to underestimate our power."

"Well put, Severus," Riddle grinned and raised his goblet to him as to toast him.

Dolohov was glaring intently; Severus could feel it without looking at him. Regardless, the rest of the Death Eaters were simply gloating amongst each other, or reciting their cunning joke about the current Hogwarts headmaster. He did take note that his wife remained silent.

"Is Severus treating you well, my dear? You look dreadful. Look at your hair! I have a new potion that I read about in Witch's Weekly about this hair potion that will just make your right as rain," Narcissa's over excited voice suddenly could be heard amongst the rumble of talking.

He saw Caelyn's eyes drift down self-consciously. For a moment his heart quickened in fear that she would not answer, but she jolted out of her thoughts and quietly murmured, "He's treating me well."

Lucius, overhearing the developing conversation, leaned in. "Oh, Nessie, leave them alone. These lucky newlyweds are still in the honeymoon phase! Let's see a kiss you two!"

This time, Severus stiffened and his mind raced. He could feel the unease seeping from his wife; she was trying to keep a calm demeanor.

"What do you want me to do?"

He mentally kicked himself for being unprepared, "Look, let's just give them what they want before they get suspicious."

She glanced to everyone else, Severus knew if he didn't do something quick they'd be in for it. He roughly grabbed her by the neck and shoved her lips to his. It was over as quickly as it began, but Severus had felt a stir when their lips met he hadn't anticipated. The room erupted in catcalls and the typical "oohs" and "ahs," but all Severus could focus on what the extreme sense of discomfort coming from Caelyn and the sudden wave of guilt he had for kissing – and enjoying – a woman that wasn't Lily.

It had been a week since the dinner party at the Malfoy's; seven long days full of excruciating silence and loneliness. Caelyn thought she would simply lose her wits. Severus had stormed out of the house and she had not seem or heard from him since.

They had apparated back from the manor as soon as possible. Severus didn't make eye contact with her once as he hastily exited through the front door and left her standing bemused in the living room. Since then she hadn't seen or heard him. Several times she considered owling him, but always reconsidered after her quill hit the parchment.

Now she sat in the lab, desperately trying to focus her attention on one of the many potions notes that littered the table. She was desperately hoping he would decide to work on a potion and, consequentially, run into her and they would be forced to talk about what had happened at the dinner party. Yet, here she sat for almost four hours and he still hadn't come home.

With a frustrated sigh, she sat up straight. There was no use wallowing around in a dingy basement over a man who did not have the decency to tell her his whereabouts or when he would return. She pushed herself into a standing position and marched up the steps.

Caelyn walked into the cozy office and added wood to the already lit fire. There was one book in mind she had seen that she felt she had to get her hands on. It was high on the bookshelf and the gold glistening letters spelled out Secrets of the Darkest Art. Eagerly she plucked it from the shelf and plopped herself down in his office chair. She began scrolling through the contents of the magnificent book.

Demnoree – Causes victim to feel overwhelming loss and depression.

Furare Ideales – Steals all memories and thoughts of the victim. One is able to bottle and use a pensieve in order to review.

Gladius Acere – As long as the spell is active, victim will feel a constant stabbing sensation. It is said to feel similar to being run through with a long sword multiple times.

This is incredible. I wonder where I can try these out without drawing a lot of attention. She continued to scan the pages and making mental notes. She came across instructions for breeding basilisks, harnessing dementor power, but she stopped when she ran across a page with an odd work etched across the top margin: Horcrux. She ran her fingers across the instructions and read carefully.

Created by Herpo the Foul, constructing one Horcrux gives one the ability to anchor one's own soul to earth if the body is destroyed; the more horcruxes one creates, the closer one is to true immortality. Creating multiple Horcruxes is suggested to be costly to the creator, by both diminishing their humanity and even physically disfiguring them. One creates a horcrux by splitting a soul in two; this is achieved by taking the life of another. In order to reconstruct a soul, the person must feel true remorse and repent for taking the life, but be warned, the pain cause by this could be fatal.

Caelyn quickly dipped a quill in ink and circled the titling. She was just about to begin writing notes when she heard a tapping on her window. To her surprise, she saw a tiny red owl looking rather testily at her through the glass. Only then had she remembered Severus was still missing. She opened the window instantly to let the owl inside.

It stuck out it leg and allowed her to remove the scroll dangling from its foot. As soon as it was free, the little pest took off without so much as a thank you, but Caelyn didn't care she ripped open the letter.

Dearest Severus,

I cannot stop thinking of our meeting at Diagon Alley. Maybe this is just pre-wedding jitters or maybe I am truly losing my mind. I want to see you. I don't know if I can go through with this. Please write me back at your earliest convenience.

Yours always, Lily

There it was - that "Lily" person again. A strange anger began to fester is Caelyn's stomach. Who-Who is this woman? Why does she want to see Severus? I am married to him. Without a second thought, she heatedly tossed the letter into the boisterous fire and watched to insure every scrap of parchment turned to ashes.