I ain't even gonna try and defend myself, commence your tomato throwing!

It had been about an hour since we'd switched seats, and the boys had fallen seemingly into sleep in the back. Cas slept silently, nothing but his breathing as a sign he was even alive, he rested slumped over against Dean's side with his head cocked at an odd angle. Dean on the other hand would mumble, his eyes moved back and forth behind his eye lids and his hands twitched and his shoulders tightened.

I looked back at my boys and felt a semblance of pride swell in my heart. It was strange, considering our family. Our very strange and broken family, made up of blood and loyalty and bits of old broken families. To think it was just those three boys that changed it all, the odd one, the mean one, the baby.

Things had been twisted and warped beyond reason, and they still were, but now we had the power to fix it. It was me and Mary, the boys, Danny and the twins, Cas and Gabriel, and now I guess Micheal was apart of this as well. But I didn't like to admit it.

Sammy was always the glue. He was the stubborn one who wasn't afraid to call you out, he was the caring one who was there when you needed him. We took him for granted and got so wrapped up in ourselves we forgot the kid was dealing with his own demons. That eleven year old kid with baggy jeans and shaggy hair that covered his eyes and his own troubles.

Now all three of my boys were heading back to the place that still gave them nightmares.

I looked over at the man sleeping in the seat beside me. His head slumped against the window. Just looking at him made me angry. I wanted to pull this car over and jerk him out and beat the crap out of him. My hands tightened on the steering wheel at just the thought.

I was good, I was civil. But it was almost unbearable watching his just waltz back into Sam and Dean's life, trying to be their dad one second their friend another and that weird uncle that hardly showed his face the next. He kept switching his roles and it was giving me, Mary and maybe the boys whip lash.

It wasn't just that, but the simple fact is that Sam came to him for help. He didn't come to me or Mary, or even Dean and Cas, no Sammy went to him. The man who abandoned him and his five year old brother at a motel right after the death of their first mother.

I grit my teeth, trying to change my thoughts. Instead of ranting about Micheal silently I might as well sort through the bigger problems.

There was Sammy first. We couldn't let him get brushed under the rug again. Nobody really saw it, but sometimes Sam was worse than Dean in hiding things. Dean was easy to read, he hide it all in sarcasm and his jokes, that or the blood on his knuckles gave it away. But Sam, Sam was an allusion. He made you think you knew him, made you think that it was all okay because Sam was the smart one, he was the put together one with the plans and the head on his shoulders. But in reality you had barley even begun to scratch the surface. Sam hid all his problems by fixing everyone else.

So much had happened since those boys came into our home, between Micheal and Gabriel, and now Danny and the twins. We were all being stretched in different directions and it has me worried. Dean obviously had his family, Sam was dangling from the ledge between complete isolation and his friend Gen, and now Cas was being stretched thin by Gabriel and Meg.

When this was all over, I was going to fix this. But first we needed the glue back.

"Dean, wake up."

I pried my eyes open, sunlight cutting through my brain like a knife. I hated sleeping in cars, your neck always at an odd angle, limbs numb, bones kinked in strange ways.

I yawned and stifled a groan as I stretched out the knots in my shoulders. Everyone always says I'm way to young to sound so old, but hey I didn't choose my life. I didn't choose couches and mattresses dumped on the floor, I didn't choose to sleep in a car whist searching for my little brother.

Life's crap.

Cas steps back, behind him John stands, his hands stuffed in his pockets with sharp brown eyes scanning the area. John did that a lot, especially in new places. It could be as simple as a new grocery store and John still needs all the exits. Mary said he picked it up from the marines.

"Where's Michael?" I asked, noticing he wasn't outside or inside the car.

"We dropped him off at the motel, he's gonna get a room then ask around town if they've seen Dad," he replied.

I frowned, "He's just gonna walk around town?"

Cas shrugged, "It was his idea?"

I smirked, before looking past Cas and John, at what lay behind them. An old dusty run down cabin. Cas must have given John the rest of the directions.

I gulped, climbing out of the car and letting my boots hit the dirt. I sucked in a deep breath as memories washed over me, but the air felt like ash in my lungs.

I remember everything.

I looked up over to Cas, who's eyes were blank and dull. Like they always were. But they weren't empty, I could practically see the conflict running around in his head.

It was like it had been the first day, I wore Michael's jacket and my heavy boots. Cas wore his trench coat and his hair stuck up in all directions from the car ride.

It was like we were before things got so complicated.

I wouldn't trade Danny and the twins for the world. They were part of my family now and family was forever. But I missed it still when me and Sam and Cas knew each other like the back of our hands. Now I couldn't even tell when my baby brother was on the edge of breaking down. I've said this over and over but somehow my thoughts always return to this point.

Now Sam was trying to punish me for it.

"This is were you three lived..." John asked numbly, staring at the run down cabin. Thoughts of three little kids living out in the middle of nowhere trying to hid from the yellow eyes man who's breathed smelled of whiskey and hands felt like sand paper.

I took another breath, "Yeah, home sweet home."

"Nope. Just a pit stop," Cas interjected, pushing past us to go inside. I didn't see his face, but his back was too strait and his sholders too tense.

Where are you Sammy, I prayed.

For some reason I really wanted to do a John scene, and then this is the start of the events leading up to the beginning of the end. P.S have any requests for the next story, I'm going to plan it out ahead of time so we won't have such spaced apart updates like this one. I have the general plot ready but I love seeing what you guys want to read.