The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga

by Queenie Z

Meanwhile, in the Hyrulian version of Valhalla, where the Heroes go when they die… A series of cracky shorts featuring all of the Links and their wacky adventures in the afterlife. (This story is currently on HIATUS. Please read the FAQ for more details!)

62. Don't Quit Your Day Job

The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga
By Queenie Z

Don't Quit Your Day Job

"Okay, okay, here's one," said Engie, holding out his hand to silence the others before he began. "Why is a railroad angry all the time?"

"I dunno," asked Mini with a smirk on his face, "why?"

"Because people are always crossing it!"

Mini and Duo stared blankly at Engie. He sighed.

"...Because pedestrians have to walk across the train tracks," he explained, "get it?"

"Oooh!" Duo chuckled. "Now I get it."

Mini tilted his head. "Maybe you should lay off the train jokes if you want the rest of us to understand them. We didn't have trains in our times, after all."

"Yeah," said Engie sheepishly, "good point."

"Anyway, I've got a better one - one I'm sure you guys will get!" Mini leaned forward on the palms of his hands and told his joke. "A boy takes his girlfriend into a dark and scary cavern."

"Why would he do that?" asked Duo.

"Because," answered Mini, "he wants to give her a keese!"

Engie snorted in spite of himself, while Duo laughed heartily. "That's cute," said Engie. "Give her a keese, haha."

Suddenly remembering something, Duo raised his hand in the air. "Oh, I remember a great one! I heard it in Labrynna, and the guy I told it to said it was so funny he forgot to laugh!"

"Oh, really?" Mini grinned. "What is it?"

"Okay," Duo adjusted his seat on the grass and continued. "My dog has no nose."

The other two remained silent.

"...One of you is supposed to ask, 'how does it smell'?"

"Oh!" Engie said, "Um, how does it smell?"

"Awful!"

This was met with even more awkward silence.

"...So? It's funny, right?"

Mini shook his head. "Duo... I've been around for thousands of years, and I think that was the single worst joke I've ever heard. Ever."

"What!?" cried Duo, a pathetic look of disappointment gracing his face, "B-But the guy I told it to said - "

"I don't think he forgot to laugh," said Engie, "I think he just said that to make you feel better."

Duo looked down, completely disheartened. "But I thought it was funny..."

And so it was decided between the three of them that the Hero of Holodrum and Labrynna was never to tell another joke ever again; for all of eternity.