Finally! Sorry about the wait, enjoy this :)
Sam stumbled out of her bed in the cubicle, still feeling hazy, but better. She went to the curtain and opened it slightly. There was hardly anyone around; she could sneak into the staff room, get changed and get back to work. Just as she was pulling the curtain back around the bed and was just about to leave cubicles, Zoe caught her.
"Sam! What are you doing?" Zoe called.
"Going back to work," she said, pulling her ridiculous hospital gown self consciously.
"No you're not, I haven't discharged you yet."
"I'll discharge myself then."
"How many years of your life have you spent telling patients not to do that? I was just about to discharge you anyway, but," she paused "We think we know what caused the bleed." Sam looked curious, but before she could ask, Zoe steered her back to the bed and pushed her gently down on it. "It seems as though it was a miscarriage, Sam," Zoe said softly. "The size of the bleed and-"
Sam wasn't listening. "Miscarriage?" she whispered to herself. "But I'm not... I- I wasn't pregnant." Bile sat at the top of her throat, triggering her gag reflex, but she managed to keep it down. Her lips parted, a tiny 'o'. She collected herself quickly, at least on the surface, and looked up at Zoe. "Can I go now then?"
"Not back to work, no, but you can go home, but you need someone with you."
"No I don't, I'm fine."
"You're not arguing with me on this, Sam, I've already asked Tom anyway."
It was instant. In spite of herself, the blood left her face again, and she shivered. "No," she said, resolutely.
"Yes. He's coming to get you in a minute."
"Does he... does he know?" she asked, barely keeping the pain and fear from her voice.
"No, of course not," Zoe assured her and with that, she hurried off, leaving Sam pale and dreading the coming moments.
It was probably for the best, Sam thought, losing the baby. She hadn't even known she was pregnant. Well maybe in the back of her mind something had made her think. A missed period, nausea in the mornings. She hadn't really taken much notice of it. As if she and Tom could ever work anyway. He had already proven that he didn't care, and she wasn't going to waste anymore time with him. She didn't really know how to feel at the moment: on the outside, as she changed into normal clothes, she was calm, indifferent, but underneath, her head was threatening to explode; she really didn't want Tom taking her home. She suspected he would insist on driving her there, but he didn't need to stay, no matter what orders Zoe had given him.
Just as Sam pulled on a hoodie, Tom appeared, making no sound. She jumped when she turned to find him, and he smiled tentatively and apologetically. She did not return it.
"Feeling better?" he asked.
She gritted her teeth and said nothing, already on her way out of the ED to where she knew his car would be parked. He hurried after her, shrugging on his jacket as he tried to catch her up. She was already at his car when he pulled out the keys, and she scrambled in when it was unlocked, determined to get this over with as quickly as possible. He could almost feel her wall of anger as she sat so close to him, so he made no attempt to lift the awkward silence.
Tom was prepared for her, so when they reached the house he jumped out as quickly as she did, and slipped his foot in the door before she could slam it behind her.
"Go away," she growled, the malice even stronger now. She shut the door hard on his foot a couple more times. She didn't care if it hurt him. "This is my house, Tom, and I don't need you here." She was saying the same words as last night, but with her voice no longer delicate and weak, he felt her hatred, and he knew she meant it.
"I'm not leaving, Sam, Zoe asked me to look after you," he said firmly.
"I don't need 'looking after'." She repeated his words snidely.
"Yes, you do," he said. Sam brushed away hair that had fallen in her face in her frenzy, and registered the desperation in his eyes. When he saw her hesitate, he pushed the door, which gave way this time as Sam stood back. Once again, just for a second, she let herself think that he might care. And besides, he might have stood there talking all night, had she not let him.
Tom followed her to the living room. He perched uncomfortably on the edge of her sofa.
"Do you want a drink?" she offered reluctantly. He shook his head. He swallowed and took a deep breath.
"Sam, I am sorry. I'd give anything to go back and be there for you. Time just got away from me, and I will never let this go, but I'm here now, and I want to help you."
"Why?"
"Because I love you," he said simply.
"No, you don't," she hissed.
"I do. I will do whatever it takes to show that I do. I'll help you through this illness, or whatever it is. I mean, you don't need to tell me, but I'd like to be there for you, because I really-"
"It was a miscarriage!" screamed Sam. Her crashing voice created a silence that seemed to go on forever, her words echoing endlessly. She couldn't take it anymore. Eventually he dragged a noise up from his throat.
"Miscarriage?" he breathed, only just audibly. Neither of them knew what to say.
"Was it... Mine?" Tom choked.
"Who else's would it be," she threw back.
"Did you know? That you were pregnant, I mean."
"No." And she was gone. Tears flared from her eyes. She sobbed. She turned away from Tom, her hands concealing her, but nothing could mask the heaving that shook her body. For Tom, this was as bad as finding her lying on the floor surrounded by blood. He reached for her and encased her in his arms. An impulse, but she didn't try to escape. She leaned against his body, and her unexpected force pushed them onto the sofa. Tom lay underneath her fragile body, holding her as she wept and cowered, but it didn't last long. Suddenly she stiffened, and recoiled from the sofa, fleeing the room before he knew how to stop her.
"Sam!" he screamed desolately. Her footsteps on the stairs lapsed, but only because she had reached the top. He tried again, but nothing. He sighed. It was going to take longer to get through to her than he had realised.
I'm a bit stuck now. I have the next chapter written, but after that, I have no ideas. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know, and if you want to know what will haopen next chapter so you can see if it fits in with any of your ideas, PM me. Thanks for reading :) x
