Hey guys! Sorry this is so short and all.
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Hobbit.
Recap:
~•~
The Dwarves remaining at the campsite laughed and ate and told tales-unknowing of the danger the small hobbit was in. Or, the danger they-themselves-were in.
In the trees above, two eyes were watching them below-waiting for the perfect opportunity.
As they moved around below, an arrow was silently pulled out of the quiver and laced into the bow-the tip of the arrow glinting softly in the moonlight.
The bow was drawn taught slowly-to avoid drawing attention-not like the dwarves were playing much attention anyway.
The archer took aim and the bow settled as if frozen in time-waiting to be released.
~•~
"Uncle! Uncle! Quick there's a problem!"
The archer relaxed slightly-knowing their chance had passed.
The dwarves crowded around the dwarf that had ruined the archers shot as another burst out of the buses.
"Take a breath there, lad!"
"Kili, what has happened?"
"Trolls!" Fili yelled, his brother still trying to catch his breath.
"Bilbo." Kili said before racing off again-leaving his brother to face Thorin's wrath.
~•~
'How had I gotten into this mess?'
Those were the thoughts of a hobbit, crouching behind a troll, trying to steal said trolls knife.
He hadn't asked for this but here he was, holding his breath-his heart pounding.
The troll got up and Bilbo tried to make himself smaller.
The troll scratched itself and sat back down.
Bilbo made a face and went for the knife again. He couldn't believe what he was doing!
Suddenly, he was flying through the air and the next thing he knew he was looking up at one of the trolls, covered in snot-Most disagreeable.
The troll stared at him in shock for a few seconds before, "Oi! Look at what jest came outta me nose! It's got legs an everythin'!"
The other trolls gathered around, staring at Bilbo curiously.
"What is it?"
"I don' like the way it's squirmin'."
The troll holding Bilbo dropped him and Bilbo sprang to his feet at a flying sprint, well as fast as his short legs would carry him.
"Quick! Catch 'im! We can cook 'im!"
A troll rounded the corner where Bilbo was running and poked him with the ladle it was holding.
"He wouldn't make more'an a mouthful!"
"What is it?"
"Eh, what are ye?" asked Bert, picking poor Bilbo up and holding him upside down by his legs.
"I'ma bur-a hobbit!" Bilbo's eyes went wide, how on middle earth had he ever gotten caught up in this mess?
'Well, are there any more of Yer lil' fellas hiding around where ye shouldn't?" William asked, brandishing his ladle.
"Nope." Bilbo gasped out, careful to keep the rest of the company out of harms way, praying Fili and Kili were going to save him.
But for the life of him! He couldn't remember what kind of owls to hoot like!
"He's lying!"
"No, I'm not!"
"Hold his toes over the fire! Make 'im squeal!"
Suddenly, Kili ran out from the shadows, his sword blazing as he began to hack away at the nearest troll.
The troll squealed like a pig and began to hop around, causing confusion for the two other trolls.
"Drop him!"
"You what?" William asked, holding Bilbo, though he was forgotten for the moment.
"I said," Kili began, twirling his sword, "Drop him."
William let out a snort and threw Bilbo, making Kili drop his sword to catch the poor little hobbit.
As soon as they hit the ground, twelve other irritated dwarves burst from the thicket, yelling their Dwarvish battle cries.
The trolls were overwhelmed by the chaos, turn and there was a Dwarf stabbing you with a steel sword, and on your left there was another bashing your foot in with an iron axe. Everywhere they turned there was Dwarven rage pummeling them.
Bilbo crawled through the chaos to free the horses, grabbing the knife he had tried to grab before, sawing the rope around them off as Dwarves flew through the air in a beautiful display of Dwarven bravery and fighting skills.
The horses ran away, drawing attention to poor Bilbo. Poor, poor little hobbit.
Thorin turned and froze, causing the rest of the company to follow after him.
His blue eyes were focused on two of the trolls, holding a little terrified Hobbit between them, a large hand on each limb.
"Bilbo!" Kili and Fili cried, getting ready to rush in and save the poor Hobbit but were halted by a hand on their shoulder from the other Dwarves.
"Lay down yer arms. Or we'll rip his off!"
Thorin observed the hobbit closely and Bilbo's eyes widened, hoping that the leader of their company was fond enough of him to not let him ripped into shreds.
'I should have stayed home in hobbit hole.' Bilbo thought, with a miserable sigh as Thorin dropped his sword.
Kili glanced between Thorin and Bilbo, giving a disgusted look before dropping his own sword as well, followed by all the Dwarves; Ori threw his slingshot down with a venomous glare-which wasn't really that terrifying-at the trolls.
~•~
The archer from earlier flew through the trees, cursing at the Dwarves for going off and fighting useless battles.
The archer finally came up to the Trolls campsite and a small satisfied smirk appeared on their lips at the sight that its steel blue eyes fell on.
Half of the Dwarves were stripped of their armor and weapons, tied to a spit over a roaring fire, cursing the Trolls and their makers. Although, their insults were quite impressive, they seemed to have no effect on the trolls, which were debating on the right way too cook them; Whether to skin them, eat them raw, or to squash them into jelly.
The other Dwarves were all in a pile, tied up in sacks and dumped unceremoniously on the ground with the hobbit, all arguing about how the trolls should go back to their hole in the ground or turn to dust.
Suddenly, the little hobbit jumped up, "You can't cook them like that!"
Well, that drew the trolls attention quite quickly.
"What would you know of cooking Dwarf?" one turning the spit asked with a snort.
The other in charge of the spit chortled but one leaned into the little hobbit, "Wait, let the lil flurgaburburhobbit talk."
"Ah, thanks." Bilbo said nervously with a smile, "The, uh, secret to cooking Dwarf…is um…"
"Yes…Come on!"
The little hobbit seemed to be struggling to get his words together.
"uh…"
"Tell us the secret."
"Yes, yes! I'm telling you the secret!" He stressed, looking around nervously, "The secret is…to…" he looked at the Dwarves nervously, "To skin them first!"
"What?! No!"
"I'll remember that!" Dwalin yelled from the spit, pointing at him as all the other Dwarves began to yell at the poor little hobbit.
"Tom, get me filleting knife."
"What a load of rubbish! I've eaten plenty with their skins on! They taste jest fine!"
"He's right!" the other said, walking over to the pile of Dwarves.
The archer was studying the lot closely and noticed a flash of hope in the Hobbit's eyes and glanced over, just in time, to see the wizard traveling with their company sneaking by a bush, the first light of dawn brushing through them.
"Nothing wrong with a bit of raw Dwarf!" the troll continued, and it picked up the fattest of the Dwarves-Bombur, of course-and held it above his mouth, about to make the Company go from thirteen Dwarves and one Hobbit down to merely twelve Dwarves.
"Nice and crunchy!"
"Wait! N-Not that one! He's infected!" Bilbo sputtered out, giving a desperate little hop in his sack.
"Huh?" Gasped the troll, turning to look at the little hobbit.
"You what?" another asked, his eyes wide as he glanced from the hobbit to the 'infected' dwarf and back.
"He's got worms in his….tubes?"
Mister Bilbo seemed less than certain of the worms in Bombur's tubes, but the troll dropped the fat Dwarf like one would drop a hot pan after picking it up with your bare hand.
"Ugh!" All the Dwarves that he had just been dropped on let out a grunt of pain. After all, having that much weight dropped suddenly on you can't be pleasant.
"In fact, they all have them. It's a tragedy really. They're all infested with parasites! It's a terrible business. I wouldn't risk it; I really wouldn't."
The trolls all gave the Dwarves a once over, looking completely repulsed.
"Wait, what did he say? That we have parasites?" Oin asked, quite lost without his ear trumpet.
"We don't have parasites!" Kili squeaked out, quite infuriated at being accused of such.
Bilbo let out an exasperated sigh and Thorin gave a quick kick to his nephews shoulder, jostling all the other Dwarves into silence.
"I've…got parasites as big as me arm…" Oin said hesitantly, after a stern glare from Thorin.
"I've got the biggest parasites! I've got huge parasites!" Kili cried out as all the other Dwarves picked up the plea.
"We're riddled!"
"Yes, riddled!" A few from the spit cried out.
"What?!" Ori, poor little Ori, cried out-not quite understanding why everyone was going on about it.
"What would you have us do then? Let them all go?" Tom asked, walking closer to Bilbo.
"Well…" Bilbo began but was cut short by Tom poking his large finger into him.
"You think I don't know what you're up to. This lil' ferret! He's taking us for fools!"
"Ferret?!" Bilbo protested with a look of indignation.
"The dawn will take you all!"
Gandalf walked up to the top of a boulder above the trolls, staff in hand-looking quite powerful and mysterious.
"Who's that?"
"No idea."
"Can we eat 'im too?"
Gandalf lifted his staff and brought it straight down upon the boulder, splitting it in half and allowing the sunrise to spill from it.
The Trolls began to turn back into stone, giving silent screams as the dawn overtook them until they were nothing but a memory, remembered only by the statues left behind.
The dwarves and the hobbit all glanced at the wizard, the trolls and each other for a good while before the dwarves let out a great guffaw of laughter.
The archer glared down at their merriment and retreated further into the trees.
It could wait, there was no need to get the wizard involved in their quarrel.
As the Dwarves began to re-arm and discuss their next moves, the archer waited and watched them like a hawk.
Waiting for the next opportunity to make a strike.
~•~
There ya go :) If you enjoyed, please review! The only reason I got this chapter up was because of DwarvenWarrior. Reviews inspire me and remind me that hey, I was working on this story and I had a plan for it! So, If you like it please, please, please review! Thanks guys :)