Daryl slipped out of the apartment before Merle and Andrea were awake. He figured he didn't have to worry about them now that he had Andrea's piece of shit car running. She could be responsible for getting Merle's hung over ass to work on time. He slipped down the back stairs of the building toward the parking lot, not paying much attention in the dark and nearly fell over the large solid object which caught his foot on one of the bottom steps. He stumbled, but caught himself after a few quick steps into the parking lot below. He turned around to find out what had been the cause of him nearly busting his ass to find Carol sitting in the dark, her legs folded across the bottom step.
"Fuck ya doin' in the damn staircase?" Daryl growled, his pride hurt by his near spill in front of her. It was only afterwards that he realized he'd probably kicked the hell out of whatever body part of hers his foot had made contact with. She rubbed at her leg and he realized it had been her thigh that had almost caused him to go spilling face first into the asphalt.
"Do you always come down the stairs like a bat out of hell?" She snapped back, still rubbing her leg.
"Sorry," Daryl said, suddenly feeling sorry for snapping the way that he had. "I weren't expectin' nobody ta be blockin' it up like that." He fumbled in his pocket and fished out a cigarette, as much to calm his nerves from almost having fallen as anything.
"Sorry for getting in your way," she answered back, her voice softened.
"What the hell ya doin' down here in the dark?" Daryl asked, lighting the cigarette.
"Waiting," she said.
Daryl couldn't figure out what she'd be waiting on. The sun would be up very soon, but he didn't know too many people that would sit in rotting stairwells and wait for the sun.
"What'cha waitin' on?" He asked.
"Shane Walsh," Carol replied. She got to her feet and stepped closer to him. He could make her out better since the single bulb that was apparently meant to light the entire area only really illuminated the spot that he was standing in, and consequently the one that she had just stepped into.
Daryl involuntarily curled his lip a little at the mention of the name. He didn't even want to know why she was outside in the dark waiting on him.
"I'm babysitting for Michonne today," Carol said, apparently not thinking it necessary for Daryl to speak in order to continue the conversation. He drew off of his cigarette. "Shane's going to drive me over there so I don't have to walk the whole way."
"Good for you," Daryl said. He flicked what was left of his cigarette on the ground and turned to start toward his truck.
"Something wrong?" Carol asked him. He turned back. He'd thought that he'd hidden his expression from her, but apparently he hadn't.
"Just don't wanta be late for work," he growled. "Glad ya found a ride."
Daryl turned again and heard Carol's feet on the pavement. A cool hand caught him on the arm and turned again. She was grasping the upper part of his arm. The sun was beginning to shed some light on the scenery around him, and her hair glistened in what little bit of light there was. She looked like she was concerned.
"Did I make you mad?" She asked. Daryl shrugged her hand off his arm.
"Who the hell are you that ya could make me mad?" He asked. He realized as soon as he said it that he hadn't done a very good job of making his voice sound convincing that he wasn't bothered. He knew good and well that she didn't want to accept a ride from him because she thought she was better than him. And maybe that Shane character was a better man to give her a ride, but Daryl figured it wasn't any of her concern how he felt about it.
Carol stepped back a little from him. She looked hurt, but Daryl didn't feel like apologizing. He didn't know what she wanted from him. He didn't know her and he didn't owe her anything.
"I'm sorry," she said, "if I've done something to upset you."
"Ya ain't fuckin' upset me," Daryl said. "I gotta go ta work."
He noticed the police cruiser pull into the parking lot a few spots away from them. Shane was driving it and he had the driver's side window rolled down.
"Ya ride's here," Daryl said.
Carol didn't respond. She simply nodded at him, gave him one last concerned look, and turned toward the car. He went around to the driver's side door of his truck and got in, slamming it shut. He sat there a minute and watched as Shane backed his car out of the parking space and pulled forward, turning onto the road. Daryl cranked the truck and backed out, steering his own vehicle in the opposite direction.
111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111
"Do you have to work tomorrow?" Carol asked Andrea. They'd closed down the bar already, and now they were busy washing the dishes in the back so that they could finally go home. It was Carol's second night working there in a row, and though she loved Michonne's girls, she was almost dead on her feet.
"No," Andrea replied, coming over with another tub of dirty glasses which she sat by the sink where Carol was washing. "I'm off for two days. Mary Ann is working tomorrow night, though. Are you the lucky one that gets to train her?"
"I don't suppose so," Carol said. "I'm off for two days too. I've got to work tomorrow afternoon at Lula's. Maybe Loretta's going to train Mary Ann."
"I'd be just fine if she did," Andrea said. She walked over to the sink beside Carol and started rinsing glasses. "I'd be fine if she didn't put her on the schedule with me at all."
"What's wrong with Mary Ann?" Carol asked. She knew of the girl, mostly by name, but she didn't know anything about besides the fact that she was related to Shane and only wanted to work part time so she wouldn't put in nearly the nights and hours that either one of them put in at The Watering Hole.
"I don't guess there's a damn thing wrong with her," Andrea said, "but she's not the kind of person that I want to be around. Little Miss Rich Pants doesn't need this fuckin' job. She's just doin' it to get pocket money to spend."
Carol couldn't help but notice the bite in Andrea's voice. She didn't know if it was the fact that Mary Ann's family had money, and Andrea didn't, or what it could be that fueled the venom there, but it was clear that she had something against the girl.
"Maybe she just wants the work experience," Carol offered. Andrea turned to her and cocked an eyebrow at her.
"Work experience at this hole in the wall? Wake up and smell the piss and cigarette ashes, Carol. This ain't the kinda place you work at for work experience. Two kinds of people work at places like this. The kind that can't do any better for themselves, and the kind that are just looking to pick up a couple of extra dollars until they move on to better things. Mary Ann won't work here three weeks, not if she gets ahold of some handsy bastard or gets beer spilled on her. Lord forbid someone pukes on her or she's gone in an hour," Andrea said.
Carol didn't know how to respond to the woman. She knew why she was working there. There wasn't much for her besides waitressing in Sweet Junction. Ed had made sure that she never got the education she'd intended to get, and though she wasn't dumb by any means, businesses weren't going to hire you just on your word that you were bright enough to figure out what they wanted you to do. Carol planned to go to school, as soon as she could afford it, but for now the jobs that she had were going to have to do. She didn't know, though, about Mary Ann's situation.
"Does it really matter why she works here?" Carol asked finally.
"Not if ya don't mind working with someone that's looking down their nose at you the whole damn time," Andrea replied. She set to work drying some of the glasses they'd finished and Carol dumped the rest of the dirty ones into the soapy water in front of her. She wondered if Mary Ann would look down her nose at her. In fact, now she wondered who was looking down on her.
"Maybe it won't be that bad," Carol offered.
"Not for you it won't," Andrea said.
"What makes us any different?" Carol asked. Andrea stopped what she was doing and turned to face Carol then, her hands going to her hips.
"Do you honestly think that you and I are the same?" Andrea asked.
Carol shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess so," she said. Andrea scoffed.
"Really, Carol? You're little Carol Ann McAlister, sweetheart of Sweet Junction High. Bless your heart, your parents died when you were young and then you went and married Ed. Sorry to break it to ya, but now you're just sweet little Carol Ann McAlister that's getting herself out of a bad situation. People see you here and they're singing your praises for working so damn hard to make a better life for yourself. People see me here, and well, they're not too surprised," Andrea said.
Carol was struck by what Andrea said. She didn't want people feeling sorry for her and she certainly didn't think she was some kind of person worthy of praise for what she was doing. She did want to get herself out of a bad situation, but that didn't make her a hero, at least not in her opinion.
"So you see me as a bad person for being here?" Carol asked. She tried to bite back the emotions that were swelling up inside her.
Andrea sighed and turned back to drying dishes.
"No, Carol, I don't see you as a bad person. We're just not from the same kind of place," Andrea said.
"We're both working at The Watering Hole," Carol said. "We both live in Sweet Junction Apartments. How different can we be?"
"The Watering Hole isn't who you are Carol, and Sweet Junction Apartments is just a stop for you," Andrea said. "Look, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. We're just different, that's all. This, all of this, is some kind of part time gig for you. This is as good as it fuckin' gets for me."
"It could be as good as it gets for me too," Carol said. "But you know what, Andrea? It's better than what I had."
Carol turned back to washing the dishes. She couldn't keep the tears from welling up in her eyes, so she tried to keep from looking back at the blonde. She didn't look down her nose at anybody, but suddenly she felt like Andrea was accusing her of that. All the years that she'd been married to Ed she'd spent hanging her head in public just because she didn't want to see the pity in their eyes at the fact that she hadn't been strong enough to leave a man that would beat her. Now here she was, washing dishes at a roach infested bar, and she was being talked down to by Andrea because her life hadn't been hard enough. Suddenly she felt like this was something she couldn't win.
"I'm sorry," Andrea said softly after a moment. "I didn't mean to be a bitch about it. I just don't like the idea of Mary Ann Walsh working here and I took it out on you. I know that it had to suck being married to Ed."
Carol sniffed back some of the tears and wiped her nose with her arm. She still didn't look up at the blonde.
"And I'm sorry that you got treated like shit in high school," Carol said. "But we're not in high school anymore. The same people have had just as much shit to say about my situation as they've had to say about yours, the words were just different."
"Maybe you're right," Andrea said. "Look, can I take it back?"
Carol looked at her then. Andrea did look sorry, but Carol hoped it wasn't simply because she was crying.
"You can't take things back," Carol said. "We're not on the playground. I do accept your apology, though. I don't think I'm any better than you, but on the same note, I don't think you're any better than me."
Andrea nodded at her.
"I guess we've all got our shit, right?" Andrea said, half smiling. Carol smiled in response and nodded. "Same shit, different shovels," Andrea said. "Let's get these fuckin' dishes done and I'll drive you back to the apartments. Merle left the car and I promised Rick I'd make sure ya got home in one piece."
Carol snickered.
"At least you don't have to have a babysitter all the time," Carol said. Andrea didn't respond. "I saw Daryl this morning, but I noticed he didn't come in tonight."
"Some nights he comes, others he doesn't," Andrea said.
"He seemed mad or something this morning. I almost tripped him, so I guess he was mad about that," Carol said.
"Almost tripped him?" Andrea asked.
"Yeah, I was waiting on my babysitter and he didn't see me in the stairs outside the apartments. He stopped to talk a minute, but then when I mentioned I was waiting on Shane he got mad again and left," Carol said. She finished rinsing the last of the dishes and started handing them to Andrea to dry. When she looked at her, she noticed Andrea was wearing a smirk on her face.
"Why were you waiting on Shane?" Andrea asked. "You two got something going on that Sweet Junction ain't picked up on yet?"
"No," Carol said, "of course not! He was giving me a ride to Michonne's house. I watched her girls while she was at work today."
Andrea nodded.
"Did you tell Daryl that's why you were waiting on Shane?" Andrea asked.
"Well, yeah…" Carol said.
"Maybe Daryl feels a little like I did," Andrea said. "Maybe he thinks that you were too good to take a ride from him, but you were just fine accepting one from Shane Walsh. It's easy to get your feelings hurt when you think someone is looking down on you, you know?"
Carol hadn't thought about it. She'd thought that Daryl had been sweet offering her a ride the other morning to Michonne's house. She certainly had never meant to hurt his feelings when she told him that she couldn't accept rides from him. It was only because it could come back to hurt her in court that she'd done it. She didn't mean for him to think that it was any slight on him. If anything, she'd thought he might be relieved to know he didn't have to feel obligated to go out of his way to take her anywhere. He certainly didn't owe her anything, she hardly knew him.
"Do you really think that's what it was?" Carol asked. "Michonne said that Ed might try to say that I had something going on with someone if anyone saw me riding with a man. Shane's a police officer, like Rick, so it's a different situation. I certainly didn't mean to make Daryl think I was putting him down."
"I don't know for sure," Andrea said, cutting her eyes at Carol, "but I would guess that might be at least some of the problem."
"I don't want him to think that," Carol said. "He seems like a nice guy. I guess I should apologize to him. Hopefully I'll be able to afford some kind of car of my own soon, and then I won't have to take rides from anyone."
Andrea smiled at her, and Carol wasn't entirely sure why she was wearing the smirk that she was wearing. Andrea nodded at her after a second.
"Daryl is a nice guy," she said. "You should tell him why you didn't want to take the ride. He's the sensitive type, gets his feelings hurt pretty easy. He'd probably appreciate it if you took a moment to explain that you weren't just looking down on him, you know?"
Carol nodded at her.
"Fine, I'll talk to him the next time he's in here, unless I see him before then," Carol said.
"So you sure there's nothing going on with you and Shane Walsh?" Andrea asked, cutting her eyes toward Carol again. Carol started to put away some of the dried glasses, yawning a little.
"No," she said. "What could there be going on?"
"Well, you're a woman, he's a man…" Andrea said.
"And that's how rumors get started," Carol said. "There's nothing going on, besides, I'm not even the kind of woman that Shane would look twice at."
"And why would you say that?" Andrea asked.
"Shane's a handsome guy, and he's pretty charming. I bet he gets lots of pretty girls," Carol said.
"Oh Christ! You're one of those, aren't you?" Andrea said. She walked over to the sink and took one of the buckets that they carried out to mop the tables. Carol grabbed the other after putting a glass on the shelf and followed after her.
"One of what?" Carol asked, beginning to wipe down a table beside the one that Andrea had chosen.
"One of those pretty girls that insists that she's not pretty and no one would ever think she was," Andrea said. "I can't stand that."
"I'm not," Carol said. "And I'm not looking for Shane to look at me anyway. I'm done with men, you can mark my word on that."
Andrea scoffed at her and moved to another table.
"I am!" Carol protested.
"Whatever…" Andrea said. "You just watch out for Shane, though. He gets lots of girls, alright, but he's only in it for the night."
Carol moved to another table. She had heard a little about Shane's reputation, but in general she tried to ignore the gossip chain in Sweet Junction. She knew that things could get twisted very easily and very quickly around there.
"Is that really true?" She asked.
"Believe you me, it's true," Andrea said. "Just watch out if you don't want to be a notch in his bedpost."
Carol chuckled.
"Thanks for the tip," she said.
"No problem," Andrea said. "You want the truth about people around here, the dirty truth, just ask me. I can tell you about some of the dirty little secrets of the fine upstanding citizens of this town. Same assholes that think they're too good to piss on the likes of me just because I don't cram my skeletons in the closet."
Carol didn't doubt that a good number of reputable people around Sweet Junction more than likely had less than perfect track records, and she also didn't doubt that working at a place like The Watering Hole would eventually lead you to learn a lot of dirty little secrets.
"You 'bout done?" Andrea asked after a moment. Carol finished the table that she was wiping down.
"Yeah, I guess this place is as clean as it'll get," Carol said. She yawned again. She was so ready to get to bed that she felt like her head was screaming at her.
"It's as clean as it'll get 'til someone burns it down," Andrea said.
They went to the back and both of them dumped out their buckets and hung their rags to dry. Carol headed to the door and waited as Andrea shut out the lights. They stepped outside together and Andrea locked the door behind them. Carol followed her to her car and crawled in the passenger seat. It wasn't far to their apartments, but she was glad that Andrea had the car tonight. Sometimes they walked, but as tired as she was, she wasn't sure she'd make it there without falling out on the sidewalk and sleeping there.
Once they got to the apartments, both of them made their way up the stairs together. Carol fumbled for her keys and watched as Andrea opened the door of the apartment she was staying in without a key.
"You don't lock your door?" Carol asked.
Andrea half smiled at her.
"What the hell for? Ain't none of us got shit worth stealin'," she said. "But don't tell anybody that, we don't want anybody getting their hands on our valuables now that the secret's out."
Carol smiled at her.
"Your secret's safe with me. Goodnight, Andrea, thanks for the ride," Carol said.
"Night, Carol," Andrea said, slipping in her apartment and closing the door. Carol made her way into her own apartment, flipping on the light as she passed through the door. She closed the door, locked it with the deadbolt, and chained it with the chain that Michonne had insisted she put on it.
Carol passed through the apartment undressing as she went. She brushed her teeth, stopping a moment to examine the fading bruises on her face. It wouldn't be too terribly long before the evidence of Ed was a memory and not something she had to face every time she looked in a mirror. She realized she'd almost forgotten what her face even looked like without bruises, and the thought excited her a little to be returning to that.
She switched off the bathroom light and pulled on her nightgown. She set her alarm and crawled in bed.
As she was drifting off to sleep, Carol thought about all that Andrea had said. She liked Andrea, and she no longer believed half of what she'd heard about her. She didn't think that Andrea was some kind of prudish virgin by any stretch of the imagination, but she didn't think she was some kind of woman without morals or without any kind of standards. She seemed like a good enough person, she'd just been hurt a lot in her life, and Carol could understand how that could make you feel. She also thought about Daryl and made her mind up that she would apologize to him the next time she saw him. She didn't want him thinking that she saw herself as better than him, or even that she saw Shane Walsh as better than him.
Carol wasn't really sure, anymore, if she believed it was possible for anyone to actually be any better than anyone else. Everything about your life was a matter of circumstances and your circumstances didn't make you better or worse than anyone else. They simply made you different. She hadn't been any more in control of her circumstances than anyone else, and she didn't want to be judged because of them. The least she could do was let Daryl know, and anyone else who might doubt it, for that matter, that she wasn't going to judge them because of theirs.