I don't own Grey's anatomy

Meredith walked into her house her eyes weighing in on themselves. She needed new clothes and Webber had practically thrown her out. Making her way into the kitchen she saw the bedroom door open and looked in. she saw Jackson and April cuddled together and she felt a twinge of sadness. She wished that could be here and Derek at the moment. But Derek was in a hospital bed and she'd lost the baby. The baby that she'd been so excited for. She sighed turning away. She had to let them sleep they needed sleep. Derek might be upset that she'd brought more strays into the house but she couldn't leave them out in the cold and she couldn't make them go back to their apartments that was just cruel she could still remember April crying on the scrub room floor. April begging the gun man for her life.

Going up to her room Meredith grabbed some clothes and then made her way to Cristina's. knocking on the door she waited for it to be opened. "Mer." Callie said.

"Hey." Meredith felt like she was going to fall over on her feet.

"Come in."

"Thanks." Meredith made her way to Cristina's room and opened the door. Owen was inside with Cristina he looked over at her. "

"Meredith."

"Hey." She swallowed. He got up and guided her towards the bed. "Sit down." He put her on the bed and walked out.

"I'm going back to the hospital." He told Callie who just nodded.

Meredith crawled up near Cristina and curled up next to her. "We're going to make it through this." She whispered.

April woke up and was disoriented wondering where she was. She turned over and saw Jackson at her side. Then she remembered she was in Meredith's house. She felt gross and stood up she needed a shower. As she left the room she looked over at Jackson. At least this time he looked peaceful.

Turning the water on as hot as she could stand she stood under it letting the water pound her sore musels letting the water wash away the pain and the memories." She scrubbed her skin. Blood wasn't there anymore but she could still picture it still picture herself covered in it. She just stood there clean but still feeling dirty. She stood there and let the water wash her away. Getting out she wrapped a towel around herself and made her way to her temporary room. She threw on her PJ's she'd just woken up but she didn't feel like getting dressed. She sat on her bed and she thought. She thought about the first time she'd meet Reed the first time she'd meet Charles. She thought of what it was like to have that gun pointed at her head and she thought of what it was like sitting on that scrub room floor.

She shook her head she couldn't think like that she just couldn't she could already feel herself falling down and it wasn't ok she couldn't keep falling. So she thought of other things she thought of the first time she met Jackson of the first time she'd ridden a horse she thought of her family her sisters and parents. Her acceptance letter to Med school and how proud she was how proud they were but if they could only see her now. She shivered she knew they were worried about her and she knew she should go home and see them let them see her but she couldn't not now she felt so fragile they wouldn't understand they couldn't they hadn't been there inside that hospital people dying all around.

She stood up and made her way down stairs starting coffee just to have something to wrap her hands around. She sat at the kitchen table and just closed her eyes.

"April." She jerked awake and looked up.

"Oh um Lexie.' The blond stood over her.

"I came to change are you ok?" Lexie looked at the coffee spilled over the table top.

"I'm fine." April jumped up and grabbed a towel trying to wipe up the mess. "How is everyone."

"Stable as far as I know." Lexie shivered thinking of Alex on the elevator floor. "Meredith is over at Cristina's Owen called me."

"Ok." April nodded she thought of Meredith but had to block it out she couldn't think of the blood that had been running down her legs or the word miscarriage it was just to sad. "Jackson's asleep." She looked at the clock. "It seems we slept the day away."

"It's ok." Lexie hugged the other girl.

"I.. I should go and check on Jackson." April was worried that he would start screaming again.

"Go." Lexie gave her a weak smile taking the soaking towel from her hand and throwing it into the laundry. April walked towards the door and leaned against it. She watched him sleep. He looked so peaceful. So serene and then his phone started to ring she dived towards it and grabbed it answering it without thinking she just didn't want it to wake him up.

"Hello."

"Who is this?" a females' voice came through the line. April froze. "Hello who is this?" the voice demanded.

"April Kepner." April backed out of the room closing the door behind her not wanting to wake Jackson.

"April Kepner." Catherine Avery tested the name. "You're my son's friend right?"

"Yes." April started to shake she'd answered a call from Catherine Avery the Catherine Avery.

"Where is my son April."

"I'm sorry he's asleep I didn't want to wake him up he…" she trailed off. "I just didn't want to wake him up." She didn't want to tell his mother about his nightmare's."

Catherine could tell there was something the younger woman wasn't telling her but she let it go. "Have him call me when he wakes up please."

"Of course."

"And April stay strong." Before April could respond the line was dead. She started at it and wondered what the older woman meant. She held the phone in her hand as she edged Jackson's door open and watched him sleep. "Stay strong the words reverberated through her head. "Stay strong."

A/N thank you to everyone that reviewed and please review.