Hello all. I've missed you all. Something extremely rare and out of the norm happen this weekend, I had free time, and I was able to finally write.

I know shocking. Not only did I finally finish TCOSCL (I know you are all so relieved), but I also started writing a brand new story over on fiction press and I'm actually very excited about it. Believe it or not I've actually updated it twice in the past 2 days and I'm almost finished with the third chapter. (Again, you all know, totally out of character for me. I'll call myself out, *waits two years to update*..sorry bout it) I'm very excited about this story so hopefully, depending on response, I'll be updating quite frequently.

It's a bit of a different style for me, but I think you all will like it, so I thought I'd give you a little preview on here. If you do read it, send me a little shout out saying you did and what you thought about it.

It's called "The Science of Choosing," by Bandgeekclarinet14

Summary:Clarisse has been running from her demons for the past 3 years, ever since the unthinkable to flee by her own guilt, fate has other plans for her as unexpected circumstances force her to return to the haunting town she's spent the better half of 2 years trying to forget. She returns with hopes of burying her demons but thats not the only thing she buried there...

Fiction: Rated T, romance and drama

A warning bell chimed, ringing through the cabin, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We are all clear for take off. Please make sure all your seats are in the upright position and seat belts are fastened. We will be taking off momentarily."

I felt my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach as I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and took a deep calming breath.

I couldn't believe I was doing this. I couldn't believe that after all this time away, I was voluntarily going back to the place I was all too eager to run from. A place filled with so many haunting memories and regret.

Oh god why was I doing this again?

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly again, hoping to calm my nerves as my mind flashed back to earlier that week.

I had just gotten back from my psychology lecture when I noticed I had a missed call and voicemail. No one ever called me.

I should have known.

My curiosity getting the better of me, I clicked the voicemail holding my cell up to my ear as I flung myself tiredly on the bed.

"Clarisse, this is your mother," I sucked in a shuttering breath, stunned. I knew this couldn't be good. "I'm calling to inform you that your father and I are selling the house. It is far too big for us now, and quite frankly we need a change. Your father was offered a job in Florida and after a long discussion he has decided to take it. After all, there is nothing left keeping us here."

I felt like someone had just sucker punched me in the gut, knocking the wind out of me, and for a moment I forgot how to breathe.

After all, there is nothing left keeping us here.

Something deep down told me that even if I had chosen to stay, there still wouldn't be anything left keeping my parents in that town.

"Not that we need to justify ourselves to you. Nevertheless, your father and I will be in Florida for the next few weeks house hunting and once we've closed on a house we will be putting ours up on the market. I didn't think it was necessary to include you in this processes seems you haven't found it necessary to visit in the two years you've been gone. However, your father thinks you should be informed on our progress and would like to give you the opportunity to come home and pack anything you would like to keep, anything else will be donated. Now I realize you have felt no need to return home in the past two years, however if you would like to keep anything, please have your things packed by the end of the month. As I stated before, your father and I will be gone for a few weeks, but you may return home and pack while we are gone of you so choose. I'd like to remind you that this is your decision and your one and only reminder. Goodbye dear."

I spent the next few moments staring at my phone in shock, unable to process what my mother had said.

An eternity seemed to pass before I could muster enough energy to force myself up and off the bed, as I numbly walked over to my desk, pulling out the bottom drawer and rustling through some papers until I found what I was looking for, hiding deep in the desk.

Slowly I pulled out a small stack of pictures, tattered and folded on the edges from age and being stashed away from so long. Memories I had so desperately tried to forget.

Gently I smoothed my fingers over the edges, trying to straighten them out before I looked at them and I felt my heart give a painful twinge. Staring back at me were identical smiling faces of two little girls not older than eight. My heart gave another painful squeeze as I flipped to another, glancing down at moment frozen in time, capturing the carefree smile of a little boy and girl swinging on a swing set—the best of friends. I felt my heart begin to tighten and my eyes began to sting as I so desperately tried to hold back the water gathering and threatening to spill from my eyes. Taking another deep breath, I flipped to another photograph, and I stopped breathing completely. Starting back at me was one of the girls, years later, with her teasing smile and haunting eyes, nearly identical to my own. I felt my heart twinge and pain quickly shot throughout my body, making it difficult to breath.

I struggled to swallow as I found those eyes haunting me everyday, every time I looked in a mirror. In a matter of moments unwanted memories began flooding my mind.

I silent sob wracked through my body just as one of my flat mates came bursting through the door.

"Claire, my love, get dressed the girls are going out. It's three pound pints at Revs tonight. The boys are meeting us there in an hour. Bobby lost a bet so he's buying tonight. You should have seen his face," she stopped short after taking in my appearance and tear stained face as I quickly tossed the photos down and stood, wiping my face on my sleeves before giving her an unconvincing smile.

"Hey Tash, sorry I was just um," I started, searching for a believable excuse and coming up short.

"Claire, darling, what's wrong?" She asked in her perfectly posh British accent as she knit her eyebrows together in concern, coming over to me.

"Oh, um, nothing. I just got an unexpected call from my mom that's all." I tried to brush off nonchalantly, praying we could drop this, but knowing she wouldn't be so easy to deter.

"Oh no darling, is everything alright?" she asked, coming up beside me.

"Oh yeah, it's nothing serious. She just wanted to inform me they were moving from my childhood home and wanted to give me a chance to pack up anything I may want before they leave, no biggie." I shrugged off, hoping we could just forget it.

"Moving? Wow that's kind of big yeah?" she asked eyeing me curiously, "So you may be headed back to the States then huh? I mean, you haven't been back in the time I've known you and that's been what, over a year?"

I gave a noncommittal shrug, looking away from her, "Um, yeah, it's been a little while, but I'm not actually sure I'm going to go. They just wanted to give me a chance incase I wanted anything, but I don't really know if I do. I don't see any need to go back, plus I'm kind of busy here, I can't just drop everything and fly hallway across the world for a weekend."

She gave my a scandalized look , "You're joking right? Darling, it's nearly the end of term. You only have one paper left to turn in and then we are home free for nearly three months. Sure we would have spent the summer gallivanting across Europe, breaking hearts and taking names, as you Americans would say, but there will be plenty of time for that at the end of summer and even in fall. You haven't been home in ages, don't you want to go back? I know I'm bloody homesick when I'm away for a month at a time, I can't imagine over a year. Don't you want to see your family or friends?" She questioned eyeing me curiously.

I gave a small shrug as I pretended to be busy, stacking papers on my desk.

"You know," she began her tone calculating and filling me with dread, "During this whole time I've known you I don't think I've heard you mention more than a few words about your home or your family. Why is that?"

I felt my body seize up with panic and my fight or flight instinct kick in.

That's because I didn't want anyone to know about my past life. There is a reason people move thousands of miles away.

Sometimes they want so desperately to suppress memories and to escape their past.

Sometimes they want a chance to be someone else. A fresh start.

"They are weird?" I offered, trying to lighten the mood, but Tash shot me a no nonsense look and I quickly sobered up.

"No reason, there just isn't much to tell. Boring really." I offered, smiling and bumping her shoulder to lighten the mood.

She eyed my carefully before shaking it off, "Alright, whatever you say. I just don't understand why you wouldn't want to go home. I mean for nothing else don't you want to have a chance to say goodbye to your childhood home? I mean just think of all the memories that place must hold. I'd be blubbering like a baby if I didn't get a chance to say an official last goodbye."

I knew she meant to be encouraging, and she couldn't have known, but her words really shook me to my core and dredged up painful memories I'd spent the better half of the past two years so desperately trying to repress, to forget.

No I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to go back to the place that held those memories because I didn't want to remember.

I wanted to forget.

I was too lost in my own thoughts to hear everything she had been saying, and had only snapped out of my internal monologue in time to hear the last thing she said.

"-closure."

"What?" I asked, totally dazed.

She look at me curiously before continuing, "I said I think you should go back, you know for closure, to say goodbye officially. You know, have an official send off and close that chapter of your book. I know that's what I would want."

I looked at her with a stunned expression. That was brilliant and maybe just what I needed.

"Closure?" I repeated again, thinking long and hard about what that would mean. If I finally went back after all these years maybe I could close that chapter of my life for good. Maybe if I had a chance to say an official goodbye I could be done. I thought running away from my demons was the answer, but maybe this is what I needed instead.

Closure.

If I returned and said a proper final goodbye, maybe I could finally be done with this. Maybe I could bury my demons and move on.

It wouldn't be the first thing you had to bury in that town, a dark taunting voice mocked me, causing my blood to run cold.

"Oh my goodness, Claire look how cute. How old were you here?" Tash's inquiry snapped me out of my thoughts as she moved to pick up the stack of photos, making me lose my breath in a panic yet again.

"Oh, um I don't know maybe fourteen or fifteen,"I mumbled, moving to take the photos from here before she had a chance to flip through the rest.

"That's odd, I mean it's obviously you, but I don't know there's something different about you in the picture. I just get a different feeling about you, you've got a different aura, you know?"

I faltered a bit before quickly snatching the photos from her and throwing them deep in the desk drawer closing it quickly.

I know, I thought bitterly before the guilt began to sink in, She always did have a different aura. I never could compare.

"And it's odd, you don't have those light freckles around your nose anymore," she inquired, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she carefully inspected me. I shivered as her eyes ran over me almost scrutinizing.

"No," I answered almost to myself, "They're gone."

I snapped out of my reverie as the cabin filled with a chime again.

"Ladies and gentlemen the captain has put on the fasten your seat belts light. Please remain seated and prepare for landing. We will land in San Francisco shortly. Estimated local time 10:42 p.m. It's been a pleasure serving you today."

My god. How long had I been caught up in my thoughts? We couldn't already be here? I needed more time. I need more time to prepare myself. No. I can't do this. No.

I started to hyperventilate as we descended and the old woman next to me gave me a sympathetic smile.

"I still get landing nerves too. Don't worry the pilots are very experience, I'm sure it well be a smooth landing."

I gave a short smile. If only the landing was what I was worried about.

Shortly, we landed and de-boarded the plane. I lagged behind, waiting for the masses to gather their bags and greet their families, knowing there would be no one there to greet me. I waited, watching my lonely bag circle the baggage claim belt until it stopped.

I huffed. I guess it's time for me to leave.

Gathering my bag, I slowly made my way to the taxi service and began loading my bag into the trunk before climbing into the back.

"Where to miss?"

Where to? I briefly thought of chickening out, of turning back and catching the next flight back to London or to tell him anywhere but that town but I knew if I didn't do this now, my demons would haunt me forever and if they didn't kill me, the guilt might drive me to do it myself.

With a deep, calming breath I answered him, "Fort Bragg please."

Much Love,

-K