Till I'm Gone
Sora Matasuki
Chapter Twelve
It was the second to last day of the semester and finals were upon the students imprisoned within the highschool. It was a day of both dread and celebration. You would have to push yourself harder, push yourself to go faster, to think harder, than any other time within class. But Hiro wasn't in the right mind to care for any of this, his body was on autopilot as a dull fog clouded his perception of the world.
Everything just seemed so distant. It was like he was a ghost that everyone could see and touch, but was still disconnected and far way from everything in reality. Nothing seemed real anymore. Hiro was just… there. Existing and going through the motions, like a mindless robot. He didn't even know if he was breathing anymore.
The only thing that really made the twelve year old feel like he was alive and grounded was the pocket knife he carried around in his hoodie pocket everywhere now.
Dimly, Hiro knew that this was something that he should stop, that it was stupid and self destructive. But now that he'd started, the twelve year old couldn't even dream of stopping. Not when it could calm him down and reassure him that he was still alive.
The day was passing by in a dull blur, the same way it had ever since he'd found out that Tomoko was moving. He'd tried so hard to pierce through the fog and reach out to her, to get some time in so they could actually meet before she left, but… she had too much stuff to do. Things to pack, immunizations to get, a passport to update. There wasn't enough time to squeeze in some loser who shed only talked to due to a school project.
Tomoko probably thought that he was a creeper anyways.
Hiro let out a depressed sigh and rested his cheek on his hand, pencil idly tapping the desk as he waited for Mr. Hanndlest to pass out the test that would determine if he'd pass or fail his science class. Hiro didn't care. He just wanted it to be over. He was tired. Tired of everything. Maybe it'd be better if...
The awaited paper was slapped down on Hiro's desk, snapping him out of his train of thought. The twelve year old glanced up at his science teacher before looking down again, missing the look of shock and concern that flashed through the elderly man's face.
The strict man was concerned because when Hiro had looked up, his usually vibrant brown eyes had looked dull and hopeless. They had lost that sparkle that everyone had attributed to his genius and curious mind. Those brown eyes had looked dead.
Tadashi let out a sigh as he finished bubbling in his last answer into his answer sheet. He felt a strange sense of peace and not at all shredded like he had been for the many tests he'd gone through throughout the semester.
The sixteen year old let loose a content hum and settled back into his chair, placing his pencil down by the side of the paper.
Eve giggled at something from behind him and Tadashi felt a soft grin spread across his lips. Then they smile faded as he recalled that outside of hometown tomorrow, it would be the last day that he'd ever see his friend. That certainly brought his good mood down a bit.
Time passed and suddenly the call for pencils to be at rest and the tests to be flipped over and passed up to the front was made. Tadashi felt his heart rate speed up then slowly return to normal as he turned to Eve who was quickly gathering the stack of papers into one neat pile. This was it. The end of their journey together as classmates. That thought made something inside his heart pang hollowly.
It was at this moment that Tadashi realized that he didn't want his friend to leave; despite the fact that after graduation, they would have been parting ways anyways.
Almost numbly, Tadashi took the offered papers and slipped his test on top before passing everything in a nest pile forwards. Quiet murmurs of others beginning soft conversations spurred Tadashi to twist around in his seat again.
"So… you excited to be heading over to Japan?" He asked softly.
Eve looked up and her lips protruded in thought. "Well… Yes and and no." She admitted.
Tadashi felt one of his eyebrows rise. "That conflicted huh?"
Eve let out a depressed sigh. "Everything's happening so fast. I can't even meet up with my social project partner, I don't have the time for a measly five minute meet and greet!" She put her head into her hands. "I feel like I've let him down."
"Why's that?" Tadashi asked.
"I don't think he has a good home life." She confessed then paused, reconsidering. "Or at least... Not a supportive one. I don't think he's getting abused - I'd have reported it if I thought he was - I just think he doesn't have a good support system. He's a brilliant kid and he needs someone to support him. And I'll be leaving him for another country entirely. I can't be there for him like he needs."
Tadashi nodded in understanding. "That's a tough deal, Eve."
"Uuugh! No kidding..." Eve groaned, letting her head hang in weary agreement.
"You're still going to keep in contact though, right?" Tadashi asked after a moment of consideration.
Eve's drooping head shot up so fast it was like she'd been burned on the forehead. "Of course I am! It's just… Gift's been trying to meet me before I leave and I've been too busy to let him!"
Tadashi raised his eyebrow again. "You sure he's not some creep?" He asked, protectiveness that usually only surfaced around his little brother rising into view.
Eve let out a derisive snort. "Tadashi! Gift's not like that! I think he's a sweetheart! Plus, I know he's a younger year - probably a freshman or a sophomore."
"They're sometimes worse. Especially if they're guys." Tadashi warned, "We can be really immature and I don't want you getting hurt."
Eve smacked him on the shoulder, hard. "Oh stop it you! I can handle myself perfectly fine!"
The eldest Hamada raised his hands in surrender, eyes shining in amusement. "Okay! Okay! I'm just saying, be careful - woah!" He dodged another swat with a laugh, nearly falling out of his seat.
Eve snorted in amusement as he scrambled to keep himself upright, his long lanky legs hooking themselves under his chair as he tipped backwards, hands barely managing to hold onto the edge of his desk and stopping his descent towards the floor. Tadashi pulled himself upright and adjusted his slightly rumpled shirt.
"Well… That was ingesting." he said.
Eve burst into a round of rather loud giggles just as the bell rang.
Tadashi rolled his eyes and reached down to grab his book bag. "Well..." He sighed, standing up. "I guess this is goodbye until tomorrow."
The eighteen year old smiled at him and got up as well, still fighting down giggles. "See you later, Tadashi."
And then the two parted ways. Tadashi to the right towards the front and Eve to the left. The sixteen year old supposed that she was going to talk to a teacher about something or another. Shaking his head, Tadashi focused on scanning the crowd for his little brother's small figure.
Suddenly a noise reached the eldest Hamada's ear and a rumble in his stomach made him cringe in embarrassment. Well... It was twelve o'clock, due to finals making the school day a half day. If Tadashi was hungry, he was plenty sure that Hiro would be starving.
A brilliant idea sparked to life in Tadashi's bright mind.
Hiro shifted restlessly as Tadashi turned left from the school parking lot instead of turning right.
"Tadashi where are we going, home's in the other direction!" the boy reached over and smacked his brother, confusion plain in his voice.
The elder Hamada grinned, guiding the car around a slowly moving car. "Already talked to Aunt Cass, I'm treating you..." He reached one hand over and poked Hiro, managing to hit him in the forehead. "Out tonight."
The car jerked slightly as it stopped just before they could run a red light.
Hiro stared cross eyed at the area Tadashi had poked before looking back at his brother, unimpressed. "...where are you taking me exactly?" he asked.
Tadashi ignored the question and eyed the still red light with clear impatience. Hiro didn't know what was going on, his life was in so much chaos that even this deviation from normal was leaving his head spinning!
Tomoko would be leaving soon… Two days she'd said. In two days, he would never get to see his friend face to face, and thank her.
"Hey… You okay?"
Hiro jumped, eyes wide as he remembered that Tadashi was in the car with him. He looked away to the passing scenery of San Fransokyo. "Yeah… I'm fine."
"No you're not, bonehead."
Hiro flinched and opened his mouth to rebute what Tadashi had said but changed what he was going to say when the light changed. "Look Tadashi! The light's green!" He pointed.
Tadashi rolled his eyes and guided the car move forwards. "Not letting this go, knucklehead. What's been bothering you?"
Hiro shook his head and looked away from Tadashi's piercing gaze. "Ah... Nothing! Nothing's wrong! Aha... Why would you say that, big brother?" He squeaked nervously.
Tadashi was unconvinced. "Uh huh. Sure bonehead. Hey meant to ask earlier but how's your project doing?"
Oh no. Hiro was not having this conversation with Tadashi. The boy looked out the window in an attempt to stall and noticed that the Herrington pool was closed for reservations.
"...it's going fine. I guess." It was then that Hiro noticed where Tadashi was pulling in. "No way. Tadashi you don't have the money for this level of pricy food!"
"...it's going fine. I guess." Then Hiro noticed where Tadashi was pulling in. "No way. Tadashi you don't have the money for this level of pricy food!"
Tadashi grinned. "Yeah, I do. Been saving up for an occasion like this."
"Shut up!" Hiro gaped at the restaurant before turning to Tadashi, an accusing glare lighting up his dulled eyes. "You're trying to bribe me to do something aren't you!"
Hiro's older brother laughed, ruffling Hiro's already messy hair and making the boy squawk. "Is it really that hard to believe that I wanna treat my little brother to something nice with no ulterior motive?" he asked.
Hiro let out a huff and pushed Tadashi's larger hand away from his head. "Yes." He deadpanned.
Tadashi fell back with a wounded expression on his face and causing Hiro to let loose laughter so genuine it left the twelve year old with an ache in his chest and mouth from smiling so wide.
"We really are eating at Bakurai's All You Can Eat Buffet?!" He finally asked after his laughing fit had subsided, looking at the mentioned restaurant with awe in his face. Tadashi grinned and ruffled his hair again.
"Yup! C'mon bonehead, I'm pretty sure you're starving." the elder Hamada laughed, stepping out of the car.
Hiro scrambled to follow, mood slowly lightening. "Yeah! How'd you know?"
Tadashi leaned on the car, waiting for his little brother to slip out. "If I'm hungry, I knew that you'd be starving." He laughed as Hiro's stomach gave a loud grumble of agreement, making the twelve year old flush beat red and clutch at the offending appendage. "C'mon, let's head in."
"Okay!" Hiro exclaimed, jumping up and down slightly. The twelve year old genius was practically vibrating in excitement. An idea caused him to grin mischievously and for some reason Tadashi's breath caught in his throat and his heart ached to see such a grin on his little brother's face. Brown eyes glinted in a mysterious light.
"Race you, Tadashi!" Hiro suddenly yelled, running towards the entrance. Tadashi felt a grin spread across his face and soon the only sound was their sneakers hitting the pavement and shrieks laughter as Tadashi quickly caught up and scooped Hiro into his arms.
"Tadashi! Th-that's cheating!" Hiro squirmed, a laugh filling his chest and making his sides hurt.
"Don't make me drop you bonehead! This way, we tie!" Tadashi laughed, using his back to push open the door and then deposited his little brother back onto his feet, all rumpled and red cheeked from laughing until he was breathless.
"But that's not the point of racing!" Hiro pouted, trailing behind Tadashi as the older Hamada paid for the both of them to go and pig out.
Tadashi rolled his eyes and reached behind to ruffle his hair, to which Hiro dodged with a scowl that threatened to turn into a grin. The girl behind the cash register giggled and turned to address the tall sixteen year old.
"You and your son are adorable." she giggled. Hiro froze and gave her an incredulous look while Tadashi bit his lip trying not to laugh.
"Actually he's my brother." Tadashi chuckled. "We're just out celebrating the end of the first day of finals being over."
The girl blushed, looking rather embarrassed on having made such an erroneous assumption. "Sorry… that'll be $25.57."
While Tadashi was busy getting out the required amount, Hiro made a face at the girl while hiding behind his older brother. The girl quickly retaliated and stuck out her tongue like a snake then promptly stuck it back in when the sixteen year old returned his attention back to her, dollars in hand. The youngest Hamada snickered at his older brother's obliviousness.
"What are you laughing at, bonehead?" Tadashi glanced down at his little brother, expression amused.
Hiro quickly tried to morph his face back into one of neutrality but couldn't keep in the giggles that threatened to explode from his lips. "N-Nothin'!" he giggled through his hands.
Tadashi rolled his eyes and quickly pulled him in for a quick noogie. "When it's you giggling, 'nothin' is never nothing."
Hiro squirmed. "Tadashi! Lemme go! Stop that!"
With a laugh and a final ruffle to Hiro's already fluffy head, Tadashi relinquished his grasp on Hiro. The twelve year old scowled and attempted to bring some semblance of order back to his hair.
"Not funny, Ni-san." Hiro huffed.
Tadashi just grinned wider before nodding at all the food laid out for the customer's consumption. "Let's go eat, bonehead." he suggested.
But Hiro was already wandering the foodstuff, plate in hand. Tadashi let out a rueful laugh and made to follow, just in time to hear a joyous exclamation of, "GUMMY BEARS!"
The sixteen year old surged forwards and grabbed the hood of Hiro's blue hoodie, cutting him off from dive bombing directly into the desserts area. Tugging gently, Tadashi gave the turned around Hiro a stern but amused look. "Let's eat real food first. Then you can make yourself sick on dessert."
Hiro rolled his eyes. "Tadashiiii!" he whined. "It's not like I'm only going to eat dessert! I'll have real food too! It'll just be backwards!"
Tadashi remained firm, knowing if he bent just a little, Hiro really would only eat dessert.
Frantically, Hiro dug out the big guns. "Pleaaaase?" he begged, lower lip protruding a bit as he made his wide brown eyes water a bit as if he really was going to start crying. Alas, it was a critical failure as the only reaction Tadashi gave his brother was a raised eyebrow and a gentle push towards the italian part of the buffet where several slices of pizza were cooling on racks and waiting for hungry mouths to tear them apart. Hiro gave in with good grace, mouth already watering at the sight of the different pizza flavors.
Tadashi watched him debate inwardly on which piece of pizza to go with for a few minutes before he turned towards the soups and salads area, mind trying to figure out which combination of soup would taste better with what type of salad. Eventually though, his eyes landed on a nearly hidden pot of soup. It's name tag revealed that it was actually chicken udon and Tadashi's wide eyes gleamed. Jackpot.
Nearly giggling in his glee at finding his second favorite dish (the first always going to takoyaki), Tadashi served himself a rather nice helping of the dish.
Hiro took one glance at Tadashi's plate and rolled his eyes, cheeks already puffed up from pizza and plate piled high with the greasy food and Tadashi wonders why he even pointed his brother in that direction anyways.
Hands full of soup and chopsticks, Tadashi motions towards the tables. "Let's sit down before we make a mess."
Hiro mutters something through half chewed pizza but follows Tadashi's lead anyways as the two brothers sit down at a small table with only enough room for two. If Aunt Cass had accompanied them, they would have gotten a booth but since it was just the two, a table would suffice.
The silence between the brothers was the type of silence one receives when both sides are well fed; when stomachs are growing full and eyelids wish to close due to the warmth and contentment of eating a good meal surrounded by trusted family. Bowl empty, Tadashi relaxed back in his chair with a content sigh and with half lidded eyes observed how Hiro's plate was empty and the boy himself was vibrating in his seat.
"Okay Hiro, you've eaten enough 'real food' you can go gorge yourself full of gummy bears if your stomach has enough room for it." Tadashi allowed, and the other boy was off and out of his seat like a rocket. Tadashi let out a huff and got up with a groan, intending to look for a small piece of cake to treat himself with.
Both Hamada brothers left when it was dark, their stomachs full to bursting and both feeling like they needed to be rolled out instead of them just walking. Hiro paused at car and glanced over at his brother.
"Hey Tadashi?" he called softly.
Tadashi let out a hum, glancing over at the car roof to Hiro.
Hiro shifted awkwardly, hands jammed into his blue hoodie. "I just… thanks. For tonight I mean. It means a lot."
Tadashi smiled. "I'm glad you've enjoyed yourself." he said softly back and slid into the driver seat.
"Hey Tadashi?"
"Yeah?" Tadashi turned on the car as Hiro slipped inside the passenger door and clicked on his seatbelt.
"Do you… do you wanna go see A Brilliant Life with me tomorrow after finals are all over?" Hiro asked quietly, unsure if Tadashi would be willing to watch something so boring as a movie about his favorite scientist's struggles in the field of quantum physics.
Tadashi's smile brightened and he reached over to ruffle Hiro's hair. "Sure thing, Otouto." he said warmly.
Hiro's smile was like a thousand suns going supernova all at once and the corners of his eyes crinkled. The twelve year old looked out at the lights of San Fransokyo and felt like there was nothing that could ruin his life. He felt like he was flying, finally free to be happy once more. For once, the boy was sure, that everything would go right in his life.
Hiro was finally content.
AN: *flops face first onto floor* Good word, who ever said that road trips were fun never had to deal with traffic going through Las Vegas and onwards to home on holiday's end! *shudders* We saw like three accidents while heading back home and got stuck in Traffic-Jam-Number-I-Lost-Count. Anyways! Here's your chapter and I'm home safe and sound! Hope you enjoyed the fluffy bits, because next chapter is the final chapter of this arc… muwahahaha!
BIIIIG THANKS GO TO: seems-pretty-legit, waterlilly49, ArianandXaia, Ajhappyfeet, BrokenWings2602, Alliprince, saveyour950, DisneyandWildKrattfangirl, Atariel Tsukai, DarthRexPoke44, Guest (#1), bumblebee78, PRincess Noodle, Purpalz Miner, DreamweaverAki, moonstone6793, KanaMac, BlueD, Turquisea, Disneynerdbh6, Sushi Hawkeye, Guest (#2), LadyWendy202, Guest (#3), Tigra22, Highcrest Tomoko, LordCameronAndTheFlamingPoops, PretiBurdi, DreamGirll, WonderfullDreams, Madness Shared, Rotor, RazzlePazzleDooDot, The Tempestuous Bengal's Song, Shoyzz, White Snow, Guest (#4), psychedelicLights, aaand Ria!
Lookie here… something that wasn't here before is now there...