The Hyrulian Valhalla Saga
By Queenie Z

I'm Diggin' It

Something about a nice, quiet bath after an afternoon of riding across the plains with Epona filled the Hero of Time with a sense of peace and calm that he rarely got to enjoy in life. In fact, he was in such a state of ease and relaxation that he had to fight the ever-growing urge to simply fall asleep in the tub! He stretched his arms, then grabbed a nearby jug, filling it with water and moving to pour it over his head.

Yes, he thought with a smile, this was a wonderful way to end the day; everything was right in his world, and nothing could possibly -

He nearly dropped the jug of water when he heard a sharp cracking noise coming from his bathroom floor. Stunned, he watched with bated breath as one crack formed in his tiles, then two, until finally a clawed hand burst from beneath the surface, causing Time to scream and spill his water all over himself.

"Farore almighty," he swore, "what the - !?"

The hole in the floor quickly got bigger, then out came Mini's head, his cheeks soiled with filth as he looked around curiously. "Wait a second," he muttered to himself, then looked back down into the hole. "Hey, Sky, isn't this Time's bathroom?"

Sky popped up, donning a pair of mogma mitts the way Mini had on his mole mitts. "Oh, no," he said, "I thought we were under the street! Time's going to be so - "

A back-scrubber clubbed Sky in the head, and the two Heroes turned to see an enraged and thoroughly freaked-out Time, his face as bright red as his goron tunic.

"What the hell are you doing!?" he yelled, pointing at the other two accusingly, "You just dug into my house! While I was bathing...!"

"We didn't mean to!" cried Mini, waving his arms defensively, "We were just digging for treasure, that's all!"

"What treasure!?"

"You know, rupees and stuff!" Mini screeched as Time tossed a bar of soap at him, which landed squarely in the middle of his forehead.

"You are dead! You don't need rupees!"

Sky gulped. "C-Calm down, Time," he said nervously, "we're really sorry! We'll fix the floor for you, promise!"

"At least let me finish my damn bath first!"

The two elder Heroes glanced at each other fearfully. Time's eyelid began to twitch.

"You heard me," he bellowed, "out!"

Without another word, Mini and Sky dropped down into the hole they'd made and returned the way they came. Time growled, grabbing his shampoo and rubbing it into his hair with a perpetual scowl on his face.

"I swear I'm going to burn those gloves of theirs," he grumbled to himself.