The palace sat on a great hill before New Beijing, the city sprawling before her, looking a lot closer than it actually was.
It was the first time Cress had gone outside, save for the gardens, and as usual, she was overwhelmed. But if she wasn't ready for New Beijing, where she was close to friends and ensured protection, she wouldn't be ready to leave for Los Angeles next week.
When Cress had posed the idea of moving to Cinder, the cyborg had tried to make her stay.
"Why so far away?" Cinder had asked, wringing her hands together. "And of all the cities in the world, why LA?"
Cress had only shrugged. "I dunno. I feel drawn there. I was looking at some maps last night and I saw it on a list of Major AR cities and I just knew. I think I belong there. Is that weird?"
"No, it's not weird."
And Cress did feel that way. More than she had ever felt anything else. Like it was the first memory she retrieved back in full clarity. Los Angeles was where she belonged.
"But you'll be so far from everyone," Cinder had protested.
"Thorne will be in the same country," Cress'd replied, though the very mention of his name twisted her stomach. "And besides, His Majes–er, Kai, said I would be safe no matter what, and that he would make sure."
Cinder had bitten her lip and exhaled a sigh, then faked a smile. Cress was able to tell it was fake. Cinder's Lunar gift didn't work on her. "If you've decided, then LA it is."
Cress had wondered if Cinder had bad memories related to Los Angeles, but she at least got a fake acceptance out of the girl, rather than blatant disagreement, and so she did not worry about it.
Iko tossed her arm around Cress. "Oh, I've just been dying to take you shopping since we were first planning to rescue you from that satellite! I wish you still had your long hair. I had so many plans for it." She gave a sigh, slightly tinny from the fact that her voice was programmed, not human. "That's okay, though! There's plenty to do with your hair like this, too!"
The android was always so excited, and it made Cress both nervous and envious of the happiness that she wasn't entirely sure Iko understood.
"You'll love the market," Iko continued. "So many food vendors and boutiques and you so need to try the steamed dumplings! I can't taste them, obviously, but I hear they're to die for! And I remember seeing this one dress back last August at my favorite boutique, and I just so think you'll adore it! I wonder if they'll still have it…." Her voice trailed off.
Cress could feel her mild anxiety–that's what the psychologist at the palace had called it–setting in, but she'd been working on it for the past month and she was starting to feel like maybe she could handle it. If only Iko didn't talk so loudly.
"It's been months," she murmured in response. "I doubt they'll still have it."
Iko sighed sadly. "That's all right! I'm sure they'll have something! They always have so many cute dresses!" Then, she stopped walking, and she gasped. "And I can buy one for myself now!" Jumping up and down, Iko threw her arms around Cress. Cress knew she wouldn't be able to return the enthusiasm, but she accepted it nonetheless.
As the android finally released her, she took in a breath that she hadn't been able to before. Iko looped her arm through Cress's and continued marching on. "The market isn't quite so crowded as it used to be." She lifted her chin as if it made her more intimidating. "We can thank Queen Levana for that. But no matter, with the way the economy is growing! I'm predicting a population boom!" She sounded cheerful, as if an influx of new, crying babies was something Cress should be equally excited about.
Not that babies weren't cute, or anything. But she had seen enough of them on net dramas to last her for at least the next eight years. "Cool," she muttered.
"I think you'll like the market." Iko seemed to not have heard Cress's reply at all.
"Yeah, you mentioned that."
"No, really! It's wonderful! They really fixed up all the buildings pretty quick after the war ended. I mean, there is still some mess to clear up and clean out, but really, you can barely tell!"
The market was gorgeous. It smelled of cinnamon and there were so many people. Cress wondered just how many people had been there before the war. Then again, New Beijing was a huge city, and the end of a war and the release of the Letumosis antidote would no doubt lead to a resurgence of the economy in no time. It would take years to build the Earth population back up again, even with Iko's predicted population-boom, but she knew that the future was far more promising than it had been before.
And she was part of the reason.
She could never really seem to figure out why it was her who joined them. Why she was worthy, how she had managed to convince them that she was worth their time. It was likely that she wouldn't figure it out until her memory came back to her.
She wasn't making any progress on that, either. The doctors didn't seem hopeless, they told her that the brain was fragile and these things just take time, but she surely felt like it would never happen. Cress would forever be a girl with a vital part of her past forgotten.
She would never know who she was when she stood up to Sybil, never know what kind of fear she felt when she was trying to disable the palace security, never know how she survived in that desert with Thorne at her side.
Yes, they had all told her of the past, she had read almost all of the confidential files. But that did nothing for her.
Nothing.
Pathetically enough, that's how she felt most of the time: that she was never that girl. That everyone had made her up, just a figment of their collective imagination. A different person at each important turn of events had done those tasks, and the crew of revolutionaries had somehow ended up with Cress when it was over, and decided to say that she was the one that had done it all. Cress figured there was no way that she was such an integral part of the revolution.
It was never her. But who was she to tell her new friends that they were wrong, that she knew the truth?
"Steamed pork dumpling?" Iko asked animatedly, pulling her from her thoughts.
Cress glanced down to see a small plastic bowl in her hand, and inside of it were three white, vaguely-spherical pieces of steaming food, pinched together at the top where the dough was pushed closed. "I didn't know how many you'd eat," said Iko, "so I just picked some! There's pork," she pointed to one, "beef," pointed to another, "and duck!"
She would've felt guilty for denying them, so Cress took the bowl out of Iko's hands and let the android demonstrate how to pick the dumplings up using chopsticks.
She took a bite and though the outer soft shell was virtually tasteless, the pork inside was beautifully seasoned, exploding in a burst of flavors she didn't know she could taste all at once, and she was grateful that she no longer had to eat freeze-dried anything.
Even if she would probably never fit in there, Cress really, really loved Earth.
Iko dragged her all over the market. By the end of it, her legs were tired and she was hungry again, though she didn't complain about that last fact. She knew there was plenty to be eaten at the palace and she didn't need to waste her univs there.
Cress ran a finger over the new, still-raised scar on her wrist, where they had implanted an ID chip so she could get around. The procedure was becoming more common now that lunars were permitted to move to Earth and vice versa. It had hurt a little, but only because the numbing agent they'd used hadn't fully kicked in before she just begged the doctor to get it over with.
The only reason they hadn't done it while she was in her coma, Cinder had later explained, was because they weren't sure where she would decide to go, and they didn't want to be presumptuous.
At least now she had a gorgeous collection of summer clothes. It was pretty warm all year in LA, so she didn't concern herself with buying anything more than a light jacket and a pair of jeans. She had quite an array of dresses in different styles, colors, and lengths. And shoes! So, so many shoes! Thankfully, Iko had offered to carry all of those bags. She was nothing if not ready to start this new life. In LA, she'd stop living a lie and instead make a new life for herself.
She would keep in contact with her friends, of course, but no longer would she be shackled to the girl that she could not remember. Sybil was dead, Levana didn't matter anymore, and she had an ID that was entirely her own, full of univs that she could do anything with.
Her friends were okay. Thorne would be fine without her. And she, she had freedom.
Cress didn't need her past. She was renewed, and she would rebuild herself from the ground up.
Author's Note: I have a lot of excuses for this being late, but I argue that I still update in a timely fashion and at least I am still updating! :D I appreciate you all! Especially those of you who leave reviews ;)