Cress dropped her chin and bit her lip, it was a nervous tic that she'd developed now that she was permitted to actually display her emotions. She'd found that she was particularly terrible at hiding them when she wasn't being threatened with punishment. "I don't know where I'm supposed to go after this is all over," she admitted, her voice soft. He probably couldn't hear her very well.
After a moment, Thorne cleared his throat. "I think you should come back to the American Republic with me after the war."
She blushed. "But why?"
"I think it's time we stop avoiding the obvious."
"Th-the obvious?" she stuttered.
He measured his breath, scratched the back of his head, dropped his eyes away from her. "I like you, Cress. I care more about you than I care about myself, and that's saying something. I want to be with you, whatever that means now and whatever it'll mean later."
Cress blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. She mulled over his words. He had feelings for her. He wanted her to live with him! Thorne wanted to be with her! "W-with me?" It was all she could muster.
"With you. Dating. Girlfriend/boyfriend. Whatever they use in all those net dramas."
She couldn't seem to find words.
"You-uh, aces. You don't have to say yes. I completely understand if you'd rather see the world. I just, ah. Well. Yeah."
He was flustered, this man. It was adorable. For once, she wasn't the only one who couldn't form words from her nerves. Finally, she found her voice, buried deep beneath the anxiety roiling in her stomach. "I'd really like that."
When her alarm went off, Cress sat up to a pounding headache, as though her brain had been working much too hard while she was napping. She considered that it had a mind of its own, but then chuckled lightly at herself for that.
Cress used to believe that her dreams were memories, that she actually did remember what had happened during that month after being saved from the satellite, but she knew now that they were only dreams.
Her neurologist used to hope they were memories, too, but this point, he had decided, if she wasn't remembering anything consciously, then her dreams were only her brain trying to reconcile what she had been told with all of those memories she wanted back so desperately.
In the end, her doctor informed her that the chance of retrieving her memories now was less than 2%.
And Thorne, well, he was there because she thought she was supposed to love him, after knowing that she used to. It only made sense that her brain would think it necessary to shove him in the place of the man whose voice she always hears when she's asleep.
None of that mattered anymore, though. Not at all. She was a new girl. She would remain friends with Cinder, Scarlet, and Winter, but she wasn't going to run after her past love, a love she couldn't even remember.
Her port pinged to alert her to a comm. She grabbed it before dashing into the bathroom to take a shower. She still had a few hours before she met Andrew for dinner, which left enough time to get her look just right. They'd only shared a few dates, but she thought things would be getting serious pretty soon. Andrew was so aloof about their relationship, and was sometimes a bit awful at returning her comms, but she knew it was right. They were good together and he was drop dead gorgeous.
Comm from Andrew: "Can't wait to see you later :-)!"
What more did she need?
Cress passed through the automatic door of the restaurant and let the waiting android know she had someone already there for her, an Andrew Campbell.
"Campbell, table for three," it said in its robotic voice. "Right this way, ma'am."
Table for three? She had thought it would just be them, and three's company. But maybe he was surprising her by letting her meet one of his friends. Or his dad. Or his sister.
Sister seemed the most clear, considering there was a woman sitting rather close to him as they approached. She didn't look much like him, though, other than that she was tall like him. She had brown hair and dark eyes, but she probably dyed her hair. And eye color was so varied these days anyway, right?
The both of them stood as she approached, and she felt a bit of excitement. He liked her enough to let her meet his family? It was only their third date! Was he ready to be serious?
The idea of it made excitement bloom in her heart.
"Cress!" he said as she got to the table. He pulled her into a hug. Letting her go, he turned to the woman next to him. "I wanted to introduce you to someone. Cress, this is my fiancée, Aleena."
Her heart tumbled. "Y-your fiancée?" He was only 17, how was he engaged? Moreover, how was he also dating Cress?
"Hi, Cress! It's so wonderful to finally meet you!" Aleena pulled her into a hug, too, and Cress wanted nothing more than to shove away and storm off.
The old Cress would never have done that, she knew. She would've just smiled and taken it and cried about it later. That's how it always was with Mistress Sybil.
She was a new girl. She had been telling herself that for months, hadn't she?
The new Cress stuck up for herself.
She ripped herself from Aleena's embrace. "How could you?" she asked Andrew.
"I know this is weird," he admitted, "but most girls are usually okay with it at first."
"At first? What is this? P-P-Pol-," she tried to recall the practice from the Second Era, "Polygamy!?"
Andrew gave her a confused look. "Polygawhat?"
"You're dating me and marrying her. At the same time."
Cress could feel herself starting to hyperventilate now. "This is wrong! How could you? I thought… I thought you liked me!"
He raised his hands in his own defense. "I do! I like you a lot! That's why I wanted to introduce you to Aleena. Usually it takes until the sixth or seventh date. You're so special, Cress."
She felt sick to her stomach. How could he? "I'm done. I'm done with you. I'm done with this."
People were staring at them. They'd been staring at them. She was seeing red. "Bye, Andrew. Don't comm me."
She stormed out of the restaurant, tears burning her eyes, her heart all but pleading for it to all have been a joke. He was going to run after her, tell her it was a sick joke, that he really liked her and just wanted her to meet his sister.
But he didn't. And she found a hover with the tears still sizzling their way down her cheeks.
She commed Scarlet after buckling herself in. It was the most reasonable time there, as it was nearly breakfast time for Winter, and Scarlet was probably just settling into bed herself.
They were friends. Friends were always there when you needed them.
"Bonsoir, Cress!" Scarlet said through a yawn. "It's late!"
Her eyes hadn't fully adjusted to the vid yet, otherwise she would've reacted exactly how she did 2 seconds after her greeting.
"What happened? What did he do? Are you okay?"
Scarlet was in full Mama Bear mode, eyes alert and ears perked. As if she could transport herself there immediately and take care of whatever needed to be taken care of. Ze'ev was rustling next to her, a few strands of his wild hair ending up in view of the camera. "What's up?" he asked in a gruff and tired voice.
Cress wanted to scream, not explain. Just scream, and let it convey everything she was feeling. But that would not suffice and they didn't deserve that anyway. She tried to calm herself, take deep breaths.
"He… he was cheating on his fiancée..." A small gasp escaped Scarlet. "But she knew about it? He wanted all three of us to be together." She bit back a sob. "I think… I'm pretty sure he's done it before. That's so disgusting."
Cress shuddered a bit, because the very thought of it was disturbing as it was.
"That is disgusting," said Ze'ev.
She sniffled. "I just can't believe I fell for it! How could I not have known?"
"People are sneaky." Scarlet frowned sympathetically. "It'll be alright, Cress. Dating isn't the only thing that matters. You'll be okay."
Cress wiped her eyes and nodded slowly. "I know. I think I'm going to focus on making friends instead. I mean, I was doing that before, but I'm just not going to worry about romance. I think it's the best course of action."
She wiped a stray tear that was burning its way down her cheek.
"They're the best kind of relationships to have," Ze'ev said after a moment, dozing off. "Scarlet's my best friend."
Blushing ever so slightly, Scarlet playfully rolled her eyes. "Goodnight, Z. And Cress, feel better. It's going to be rough. You had a lot of hope surrounding this, but you'll be fine. We're all here if you ever need us."
Cress nodded, feeling just a bit better, her head pounding from just how much everything hurt. "Thank you, Scarlet. I'll let you guys sleep now. Goodnight."
"A bientôt," Scarlet yawned. The screen went black.
Scarlet was right. Dating wasn't the only thing that mattered in life, and like Ze'ev had said, having friends seemed to be more necessary. A support system was exactly what she needed. Not some stupid romance that could never be guaranteed.
Author's Note: Would you believe me if I told you guys I've been working on this since the last update? I posted it the day before I moved back to school, and my life has been nonstop ever since. I'm sorry! This fic isn't dead, if you can believe it!