She sat in front of her netscreen. She was tired; waking up every day at 5:30 was starting to get to her. She and Radha were supposed to go see a movie tonight. Escaping the Milky Way, it was called. Cress couldn't pretend like she wasn't interested, but stars, she just wanted to lay down. Her lids were heavy with sleep, and she feared she'd fall asleep and miss all of Radha's comms.

Speak of the devil, her port pinged.

"Should I start getting ready? :-)"

Cress thought she might start crying, purely out of exhaustion.

Her eyes were drooping. She had to say something. Anything.

"I'm so tired," she replied.

The next message came through immediately. "Are you okay?"

She was. She was fine.

Except that this would've been the second time that week that she had canceled plans with Radha. And this was Friday! She should have been able to push through it for at least a few more hours, and spend her time sleeping tomorrow.

It didn't help that she dreamt so much about Thorne now that she knew her dreams were more like memories. The worst part was trying to separate the dreams from what was once reality.

Good stars, she was almost afraid to actually try. What she had with Radha was good. It was strong and stable and she felt so loved. Thorne needed to figure himself out and so did she.

She didn't need him, and she didn't need her past.

Not that she was giving it up. She, Winter, Cinder, and Scarlet all stayed pretty close. She was still working on the whole friend thing, but Radha's friends were starting to grow on her.

Stars, was she a bad person for canceling their plans so much? Radha deserved so much more than hope and canceled dates, but Cress herself deserved more sleep, and she had to look out for herself, too, right?

"I'm feeling well. Just really tired."

"I can come over," Radha replied. "We can take a nap together, I can take care of you."

She just wanted to be alone. That was the whole thing.

She took a deep breath and tapped in a response. "You're sweet, but I think I'm going to fly solo today."

Another comm came through too fast. As though Radha was expecting the disappointment. "Ok"

Cress had screwed up. She knew before that Radha's patience for her would have limits, but she had hit that limit now.

Now she really wanted to cry. They hadn't been together long, but what they had was wonderful, and she was already screwing it up.

Cress rubbed her eyes and tried not to cry, telling herself that she was just tired, and Radha was disappointed, and that was all. She needed to sleep, and then she could patch things up when she was feeling better.

She let herself fall hard into a dream- and memory-less sleep.

Only to wake up two hours later, groggy and mostly starving. She felt greasy and needed a shower, but food would come immediately after. And she should probably venture outside. It was almost 20:00 and the sun would be going down in just over an hour. The least she could do is remind herself what a Los Angeles sunset looked like on a clear day. It'd been so cloudy lately that she felt she was starting to miss out. She pulled herself out of bed and headed towards the bathroom.

Cress tried to never take showers for granted now. She wasn't wasteful, but they weren't as limited as they were on the satellite, so she always tried to savor them. Showers were great – they were her own little get out of jail free card.

And she was considering what she would say to Radha. She had to be kind, gentle, and understanding– like her girlfriend, whose patience had probably disintegrated by this point. Cress didn't check her port when she woke up. She would worry about it in the hover on her way to her favorite Indian takeout restaurant. She should probably place an order before she left, too, so that she wouldn't have to wait too long.

Maybe she should video comm Radha. Her love merited that much.

She would get in her hover, place her order, and then call. That's how it would have to go. It would certainly be ready before she got there, especially if the conversation went on longer than she expected.

Stars, she wasn't looking forward to this. She wasn't ready for Radha to leave her. She didn't want to lose her, and she didn't want to lose what ground she had covered.

She quickly dressed and ran her fingers through her hair, scrunching it up as she moved them down her head.

She tried not to be disappointed that she didn't have any comms, and then tucked her port into her pocket and left her apartment, hearing the lock reengage as the door shut behind her.

Get to hover. Place order. Video Radha.

She got in her hover. Her head was a mess, and she was anxious as all get out. She should just get it over with. Rip the bandaid off. No numbing gel. It would be over before she knew it.

She pulled the port from her pocket and pressed the video chat icon on the corner of the screen. Said the callee's name aloud.

Three green dots appeared and reappeared in the center of the black screen as it connected to Radha's port. Her heart was thudding in her chest and her leg was trying to shake away the anxiety.

It took thirty-six seconds for her to answer. Cress noticed immediately that she wasn't alone, and she could barely hear her over the music in the background, and she could barely make Radha out in what little light her screen expelled.

"Hey," she said, louder than she normally would. "Are you… can you talk?"

Radha pursed her lips, leaning forward and away from the two people next to her. "I'm with Julio and Anya. We're hanging out. I don't have time to talk. Maybe later?"

Cress was the disappointed one now. "Oh… okay," she replied. Off-screen, Anya laughed at something that was happening. Radha had looked at something in the same direction and started laughing, too.

"Talk to you later?" she shouted, not looking at Cress.

Cress tried to hold her composure. "Have fun."

The connection was severed before she could get out the last word.

Her arms fell, dejected. She chewed her bottom lip and tried not to cry. She had really, really screwed up.

Shoving her port into her pocket, she rubbed her knuckles into her eyes to dissuade any tears from popping out.

Her hover came to a stop, the speaker announcing the arrival, and she shut her eyes again.

She had forgotten to place the order. And she didn't feel like deciding on somewhere else. It would take too much energy.

It was just that now, she was stuck at the restaurant for 20 minutes and hoping that she wouldn't have to rush to the bathroom to hide her tears. She took a measured breath. Good air in, bad air out.

She got out of her hover, motivated by the empty tumbling of her stomach.

The scent of the restaurant was all spices, and somehow none of them clashed. The prominent colors were gold and red, and the eat-in tables were made of smooth mahogany. The waitstaff was human; they used the order screens only for take-out orders. She'd do more than order out when she ate there one day, but for now, she wanted to get back to her apartment as soon as possible.

There was a row of three computers set up along the front counter. She ordered a medium-spicy curry with lamb. She selected the vegetables she wanted in it and an extra side of naan.

It would be a long wait, punctuated by the dizziness she was feeling. She should've known better, she should have taken a snack. She should have ordered before she gotten there. That was the plan in the first place.

Stars, how much could one person hate themselves in a day?

Cress found a seat in the waiting area, tucked in a corner. There, she forced herself not think about Radha or all the damage she'd done to their relationship. She tried not to think about anything, forcing all of her attention into a stupid net game. It was a dating sim. She wasn't necessarily invested, because her work hours deemed it impossible to check it at all during the day, thus saving her from any sort of obsession, but it was good at sucking in her full attention.

But something snagged on to a tiny morsel of attention that still strayed from her, a bright blue shirt in the corner of her eye.

She glanced up, suddenly curious as to what had tugged at her.

Her heart nearly stopped.

Her heart beat faster.

Her heart couldn't take much more of this.

Wasn't Los Angeles supposed to be huge? In a city so large, it was supposed to be nearly impossible to see one person more than once.

Cress really hated her bad luck.

She sank deep into the cushioned booth, hoping he wouldn't see her. Hoping he had already placed his order and was only there to pick it up. He wouldn't have time to see her if that were the case.

He tapped the "Begin Order" button on the middle screen and she knew she was a goner. He would see her, and the stars only knew how he would react. Would he run away from her again?

Would she run away from him?

Well, she would have to face him one day. Might as well be today, when she'd already screwed up the rest of her day.

He spotted her as soon as he placed his order and turned on his heel.

He looked like he wanted to run. He was ready to run, she could see it as it all but twitched through his muscles.

To keep him from doing just that, she lifted her hand in a small wave.

His relief was palpable.

He waved back, but turned away from her and started to shuffle to the other waiting area.

Cress stood up quickly, struggling to keep herself from hiding under the table. "Thorne!"

Thorne went rigid, freezing mid-step. He turned slowly, and she knew that he was anxious. She had approached him. Well, not really, but she'd called out to him. Stars above, she'd made the choice to talk to him.

But it was hard to argue that she'd made the decision at all. It was an impulse. It was natural to call out his name, to want him to come talk to her. Where it came from, she wasn't sure, but she couldn't argue that she'd had control over it at all.

She sat down as he got closer to her table, suddenly regretting ever leaving her apartment in the first place.

He stopped two steps away, hands in his pockets. He tipped back on his heels and then forward onto the balls of his feet. "Hey. How are you?"

"I'm doing alright." She glanced anxiously at the chair across the table, considering. "Do you want to sit?"

He was reluctant to take her offer, but he did. According to her port, she still had approximately thirteen minutes to kill.

"How are you?" she asked, trying not to let her pounding heart make its way into her throat.

"I'm great!" he said, though there was not a hint of honesty in his tone. "I'm… I'm surviving."

Her bottom lip quivered as she moved to say something. "That's all we can do, right?"

The attempt at light-heartedness fell flat when she couldn't commit to it.

Silence fell again between them.

It was really getting awkward.

She glanced up at him. She glanced out the window above her table. She glanced at the counter to see if anyone had come out with her meal yet. She glanced back at him.

"I, um…." She stopped when his gaze on her intensified. It was like he was making up for all the time he didn't get to look at her. Or maybe she was simply imagining it. "I think… that I'm starting to remember…."

She had expected at least a smile. She had expected at least a lightness in his sad, sky blue eyes.

Instead, his face fell even further. "Remember what?"

"You, the war, something about a rooftop. A kiss, maybe. Mistress Sybil's death." He face scrunched and she pressed her fingers into her forehead. "It's a lot. It's too much."

His jaw clenched and unclenched and he looked down at his hands on the table. "That… that is a lot."

"And it's not fair to Radha."

He glanced up at her, furrowed his brow. "Who?"

"My… she's my girlfriend. The one from the mall."

He looked pleasantly surprised. "Girlfriend. Interesting."

"Yeah, it's a new development," she admitted. "And, uh, that girl from the mall, that was with you. Was she… your…?"

"She wanted to be, but no. She was really narcissistic." He still seemed nervous, but he was clearly starting to calm down. "Nothing like you."

She froze.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry, I'm sorry. Uh, but yeah, she wasn't that great, and I wasn't much looking to date anyway. I've just been trying to find my grounding."

"Have you kept in contact with anyone?"

"Everyone," he said. "Just about." His eyes flitted from her to the table. "They're all doing well, and I'm happy for them. It's just been hard."

She gave a curt laugh. "Tell me about it."

It would only be a few minutes now. Somehow, she hated that time was passing so quickly. Some part of her wanted to stay there with him. The rest of her, the parts that wanted to go home, were not nearly so motivated.

Thorne leaned his chin into his palm. "We should have coffee sometime."

Her anxiety breached the surface. "Maybe. I've got to make time in my schedule for Radha first. Once I've got that down, I'll let you know."

"I'll accept that." He gave her a small smile, and she saw the tiniest twinge of hope in that upturn of his lips.

She was relieved by that smile. "I, uh, would like to catch up some time, though."

"You just have to find the time."

"Right."

Cress finally returned his smile, and hers was just as small.

"Crescent," someone said from the front counter. "Order 1253?" Her hunger returned in full force, and her mouth was already watering.

Thorne chuckled. "I think you should go get that. You look half-starved."

She tugged at a loose strand of hair hanging off of her shoulder, wrapping it around her finger until the tip turned purple. "I am. I am going to go home, though. Talk to you later?"

He wet his lips. His smile widened. "Yeah. Later."