"I'm a terrible person," Michonne lamented.
"Now explain, exactly, what's going to make you a terrible person?" Andrea asked. She was sitting across from Carol at Carol's kitchen table, painting Carol's fingernails a bright color of pink.
Michonne was sitting on a blanket on Carol's floor where she was currently changing Celine's diaper while Anjelica scooted around, entertaining herself with the handful of toys that Michonne had brought up for them.
"I had s-e-x with the bug man!" Michonne said. She turned her attention to snapping the onesie.
"Can the kids spell?" Andrea asked.
"No," Michonne said, but I Anjelica's starting to babble and the last thing I need is for her to start spouting mommy's business everywhere we go.
Carol laughed.
"I can't believe you did that, Michonne," Carol said. "I thought you were taking things slow with your Adonis?"
Michonne scooped Celine up, kissing at her neck while the little girl howled at her.
"I was…I don't know what happened. The girls were with Dean and I asked him if he wanted something to drink and the next thing I know…" Michonne said.
"When it's hot," Andrea said, "it's hot…that's all there is to it."
Michonne groaned and the baby laughed at her so she continued to make the noise, making the most dramatic facial expressions possible.
"You think it's hilarious that your mommy does things that she should not do! Should not do!" Michonne cooed.
"I don't think this makes you some kind of horrible person," Andrea said. "I mean you're both consenting adults. I assume that he was in on this, right? I mean you didn't rip his clothes off and f-"
"Andrea!" Michonne snapped.
Andrea rolled her eyes.
"You didn't f-u-c-k him like d-o-g in the backyard did you?" Andrea asked.
"You don't have to spell dog," Michonne said. "And no I didn't. We made it to the bedroom. Honestly I've never been one for the all over the place kind of action. I'm old fashioned."
"You sound pretty d-…d-a-m old fashioned," Andrea said.
"D-a-m-N," Michonne corrected.
"Is this a spelling test?" Andrea asked, directing her question to Carol.
Carol giggled.
"So you asked him over to look at your yard and invited him inside for something to drink? How do you go from that to THAT?" Carol asked.
Michonne shrugged. She was trying to make the baby stand on her feet, and the baby was far more interested in manipulating her position to get Michonne's hand in her mouth.
"I tricked him," Michonne said. "That's why I'm a horrible person. The man thought he was just coming to look at bugs and I tricked him. I knew the girls were going to be with Dean that day. It's like I planned the whole thing out in advance."
Andrea chuckled.
"The man came over to inspect some bugs and ended up inspecting something a little more feline," she said. "I guess he probably thought it wasn't a bad deal."
"Did you at least make him buy you dinner first?" Carol asked.
Michonne chuckled.
"No, but I did make us grilled cheese sandwiches afterwards. Does that count as dinner?" She asked.
"Carol Ann," Andrea said, "not everyone is quite as old fashioned as you are, you know. Some of us come in actual color these days instead of in black and white."
"Speaking of which," Michonne said, "how are things with you and Daryl?"
Andrea shot a quick, knowing glance at Michonne and Michonne smiled sweetly.
Carol was now blowing on her fingernails and not looking at either of them.
"They're fine," she said, "and we're not black and white either."
"Oh heavens no," Andrea said. "Last accounts I had they've worked their way all the way to some light necking in the hallway. Carol Ann better be careful or people are going to be passing notes about her in the hallway soon."
Michonne chuckled and Carol rolled her eyes.
"I don't want to rush into anything," Carol said. "I want to be sure of what I'm feeling and I want him to be sure of it too. If we just start going at it, then neither one of us will really know."
"Oh I know what I was feeling yesterday…" Michonne said.
Andrea snorted and Carol almost choked.
"Isn't that the truth?" Andrea said. "You know what you're feeling if everyone's doing it right…"
Carol shook her head and leaned her head against her hand.
"You're both terrible. I wasn't talking about that," she said. She was blushing without even meaning to. "I mean real feelings. Like what's supposed to happen next? I want to know what's going to happen next. Daryl doesn't even know that I know he slept with Mary Ann. I don't even know what that meant for him or if I'm some kind of phase for him."
"I don't think it's a phase," Andrea said. "The guy has eaten pancakes, without fail, every single morning since I moved in. Daryl is not a man of phases. He is a man of comfortable habit. The only reason he doesn't wear the exact same thing every single day is because I'm not loading all the d- d-a-m-N clothes up every single day and hauling them down to the laundry mat."
"So he's boring?" Michonne asked.
Andrea turned around in her chair, kicked her shoes off, and started painting her toenails with the same bright pink that she'd just finished coating Carol's fingernails with.
"Some would say boring," Andrea said. "I don't know if it's boring or not. I guess maybe consistent is the nice word? He likes what he likes and he doesn't see any damn reason to branch out if he's already got something that he likes. He's not the new and improved variety of man."
"Which is a good thing," Michonne offered. "You could do worse, Carol. Dean was the new and improved kind and he upgraded me just as soon as I downloaded these two."
"And Mary Ann?" Carol asked.
"And Shane?" Andrea countered.
"He asked me to go with him for ice cream," Carol said. "I already told you that nothing happened."
"And I can tell you that next to nothing happened with Mary Ann, and both of them would take back what happened if it worked that way, but it doesn't," Andrea said.
"What do you want me to do?" Carol asked. "We've been out to dinner twice this week. We went to see a movie. We've got the picnic coming up tomorrow. What more do you want?"
"It doesn't matter," Michonne said. "You do what you want to do. No one is pushing you, right Andrea?"
Andrea looked at her and then went back to painting her toes.
"What Andrea means to say is 'right'," Michonne finished. "You have to do things the way that makes you comfortable, and if Daryl's fine with things moving the way they are, then that's perfect. You deserve for something to work your way in a relationship."
Andrea rolled her eyes and looked at Carol.
"Just to let you know, the picnic tomorrow is at the lake," Andrea said.
"Daryl didn't say we were going to the lake," Carol said.
"That's because I don't tell Daryl things until he needs to know them. He and Merle work better if they have as little time as possible to process information. Keeps them from overthinking shit," Andrea said.
"Andrea!" Michonne snapped.
"Sorry…keeps them from overthinking poop. And speaking of which, I'm no expert but it looks like that one over there might be thinking about some poop herself," Andrea said, gesturing to Anjelica who had found herself a very private spot on the other side of the couch for the moment.
"Great," Michonne said. "I'm almost out of diapers, too. Looks like we all get to take a fun family vacation to the A and P today when I leave."
"It's almost like Disneyland, isn't it?" Andrea said, screwing the bottle on her nail polish. "You'll need your bathing suit tomorrow, Carol."
"I'm not going swimming," Carol said.
"You can't have a picnic at the lake and not go swimming," Andrea said.
Carol shrugged.
"I don't have a bathing suit," she said. "I never went swimming and Ed certainly wasn't going to take me anywhere wearing something like that."
Andrea narrowed her eyes.
"Fine, don't worry about it. I'll bring an extra one," Andrea said.
"I'm not sure I want to wear yours," Carol said. "I'm not comfortable in stuff like that. I'll be fine sitting it out."
"Help me out here, Michonne," Andrea said. "Would you go to the lake, with a guy you're sorta interested in…not to mention you've already had s-e-x with him…and not go swimming?"
"I slept with the bug man," Michonne answered.
She got up and started collecting together the girl's things.
"So there you have it, Carol, the jury has spoken. You'll wear one of my bathing suits tomorrow," Andrea said.
"Do you at least have something conservative?" Carol asked.
"I don't have black and white," Andrea said, "but I'll try to consider my audience."
"Well, Carol it's been fun," Michonne said, wrestling Celine up on her hip, "but I'm out of Anjelica's diapers so I've got to run. Andrea, it was nice seeing you again, glad you could stop by today and visit with us."
Andrea got up, slipping the polish into her pocket. She walked across the floor barefoot and took the bag of toys from Michonne.
"It was great to see you too," Andrea said. "I'll carry this out for you. I've got to go anyway. Carol and I have to work at the upstanding establishment the Watering Hole this evening. We'll be providing a fine drinking experience for the lovely patrons."
"You don't have shoes on," Carol said.
"Carol Ann, I was made to be barefoot and pregnant," Andrea responded. "Minus the pregnant part…"
Carol laughed and got up, following behind the two women. She scooped Anjelica up and carried her to the car for Michonne, staying a few steps behind Andrea who was trying to pretend that the asphalt wasn't cooking the bottom of her feet as she stood hopping from foot to foot while Michonne loaded the car.
Carol hugged Michonne before she got in the car and then laughed at Andrea who was hopping double time over the hot asphalt to make it back to the apartment building stairs.
"I didn't think you two were friends," Carol said, sounding more than a little confused as she followed Andrea up the staircase.
Andrea, not wanting to admit that Michonne had snuck by nearly once a day each day for the past week and a half just to talk about things with Carol and Daryl, just smiled a little.
"Yeah…I mean…we get along," Andrea said. "We haven't split up a best friend necklace yet or anything, but we get along."
Carol smiled.
"I can't believe she slept with Tyreese," Carol said.
"Stranger things have happened," Andrea said, opening the door to the apartment and deciding she'd get her shoes from Carol's apartment later. "See ya in about two hours. We can walk over together."
"Sounds good," Carol said with a sigh. "Should give me enough time to shower and work on talking myself into a good night at the Watering Hole."
"Any night we don't get barfed on will be a good night," Andrea said. She slipped into the apartment and closed the door behind her, hearing Carol do the same across the hall.