"You were so freaked out and I was really blind," he chuckled, taking a huge gulp of his mango bubble tea.
Cress narrowed her eyes at him. "You walked in on me in the bathroom? While I was naked?"
She played with the straw of her own bubble tea. It was jasmine, a very flowery taste, and definitely not her favorite, but she couldn't complain much–the tapioca balls that filled the first fourth of the cup were enough to make her want it again and again. Next time, she'd try a different flavor.
She had passed the restaurant many times since she moved to Los Angeles, always curious about what the food on the signs tasted like, but never had she actually gone in. It was one of Thorne's favorite spots, and he had suggested it almost immediately when she commed him earlier that morning to meet up.
Fortunately, it wasn't too busy for a Saturday lunch.
"You were singing," he explained. "That's what drew me in in the first place. And I was covered in sand and sweat and can you blame me? You were hogging the bathroom!"
She harrumphed. "I highly doubt that I was 'hogging' anything. You were probably just being impatient."
"I was covered in sand and sweat."
"So was I!"
"Yeah, but you totally could have taken a shower instead." He laughed. "Or, you know, closed the curtain."
She crossed her arms, defiant. "I'm sure I didn't expect anyone to be intruding."
Thinking about it, Cress knew that Thorne could have been making the entire thing up. She didn't remember even a frame of what he was telling her. He could have been playing her. What was the Second-Era saying? Like a violin? Or fiddle. Probably fiddle. It flowed better.
Cress told herself she didn't care. What would he gain by lying, anyway? Especially when there was a chance she could regain her memories back. Well, not a very good chance, according to her doctor, but she never listened to him anyway.
"Probably not." He grinned at her. "I'll be more careful next time."
She cocked an eyebrow, ignored the sudden pang of something she felt in her core.
Next time.
He laughed and took another drink.
Cress rubbed at her eyes. They were still that salty sort of dryness that happens when you cry without wiping your eyes enough. She was uncomfortable with the feeling; she knew she should head to the bathroom and wipe away the remnants of tears with a wet paper towel, but she didn't want to stop talking to him for even a moment.
It was her fault for not making much of an effort of cleaning herself up before she left her place that morning, so she decided to put up with it for a little longer.
She hadn't really spoken to Thorne since they'd run into each other the week before at the restaurant, but today, she needed anyone to talk to her, comfort her. It was safe to say that Rani would not be a good outlet, nor would any of the others she knew, considering they were all Radha's friends.
And she knew whose side they would take.
Stars, she missed her so much.
On Thursday night, Cress was making tea to soothe her to sleep. It had been a rough few days – ever since she told Radha that she'd run into Thorne, things had been… different. Radha had shut down completely, had muttered about how she "knew this would happen" and left.
And so it was a great surprise, an anxiety-inducting surprise, when Radha showed up at her door at 21:58.
Cress forced a smile, tilted her head, ignored her nerves. "Hey," she said. "I've been worried about you. I haven't heard from you since… yeah, it's been a while." She tried to not know what was coming. "Come in, I just made tea. Would you like any?"
Radha shook her head and sat down at the chair in front of Cress's desk. "No, thanks. I won't be long."
"Oh, okay." Cress poured herself a cup and sat on her recliner, the only real piece of furniture in her tiny living room. "Is everything okay?"
She was certain that the answer was 'no.' Two days was either enough time to think through everything or enough time to ruin everything.
They hadn't been together long, but what they had was good.
Radha looked at her. Her eyes were red, but they were dry. "I don't think this is working out."
A beat passed in silence. "We're not working out," Cress clarified.
"Yeah, and it's… it's a culmination of a lot of things, but I think we'd just be better off as friends."
Cress wet her lips. "Friends. I see."
"I'm sorry," said Rahda. "This was a really hard choice for me to make, but I just feel like you're going to get your memories back and I'll have no room in your life."
"That's not fair."
Radha put her face in her hands. "I know. I know it isn't. It's just how I feel."
They were both silent. What could Cress say? She didn't want to ask her to stay. It didn't seem right, not when Radha so clearly wanted out of her life.
"Just go," she said. "I understand why we're breaking up," though she didn't at all, "and I don't think there's much else to talk about."
"Cress, I-I'm sorry."
A tear pricked the corner of her eye. "Please just go."
After Radha left, it was all Cress could do to just get up and lock the door and put the teacup on the counter to be cold in the morning.
She shut off the lights. Lay in bed. Disappeared.
Thirty-seven hours later, she was sitting in an "Asian Bistro", enjoying bubble tea with someone she barely remembered knowing.
And she felt… okay.
Her chest was still a little hollow, but at least she could smile. The dried tears under her eyes were just a side effect of keeping herself locked up in her small apartment.
"How do you like it?" he asked her, shaking her from her thoughts.
She furrowed her brow. "What?"
He gestured at the cup in her hand. "Your tea."
"Weird flavor, but I really like the tapioca balls."
He smirked. "They definitely make it a more well-rounded drink."
She glared at him. He chuckled.
"Is the mango good?"
He nodded. "Wanna try it?" He pushed it to her side of the table and she looked down at it, unsure of what to do next. "I don't have cooties. Just try it."
Cress had never had a mango before, and after taking a sip of his tea, she decided that if mangoes tasted anything like that, they would be her new favorite fruit.
"Wow," she said, sitting back. "Much better than the jasmine."
Thorne nodded. "I know. The jasmine isn't that great. I just didn't want to say anything since I figured you should make that decision for yourself."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Rude."
"I was being considerate," he defended.
She crossed her arms, defiant. "Still rude."
"Now you're just being biased," he said, a hint of a smile on his face.
Cress couldn't help but smile back. "In any case, I wish you would've told me. Flowers should just… stay flowers, I think."
"And now you're being close-minded! You haven't even tried the lavender!"
She kicked him lightly under the table. "Will I ever win with you?"
"Only if you try." He winked.
It was suddenly hard to breathe, hard to think. She was flooded with that sense she got when she woke up from her dreams that felt like memories–her chest grew heavy and she was dizzy.
She blinked it all away. "Well," she said, "I guess I'll just have to do that next time."
Then, his port started ringing. He glanced at it and then sighed. "I've gotta go. Lunch plans with a friend. I'll comm you later, if that's okay."
She beamed at him. "That's okay."
After Thorne left, she took a moment to take in the ambience of the bistro. There was soft music playing in the background, lightbulbs in red lampshades that hung over tables and over the kitchen, big tinted windows that let in just the perfect amount of sunlight, and rubber plants sprinkled throughout.
Cress loved Los Angeles.
Though it was where she'd experienced her first big heartbreak, she was still young. Thorne had told her that she had a lot more heartbreak to come, probably, but she also had a lot of successes waiting for her. She had already accomplished so much, he'd said, even if she didn't remember a lot of it.
She wanted to believe that she would remember everything one day, that by some stroke of luck, everything would just rush back. It happened in the net dramas all the time, but she was always repeating to herself what Cinder had told her: life wasn't quite so easy.
She sat back against the booth and drank down the rest of her tea, discarding the cup. She was going to take this day for herself. She'd had the last day and a half to herself, but this time, she was going to try not to be miserable. She would think about Radha, about the soreness in her chest, and it would hurt, but it would not own her.
"It feels like the end of the world, but it isn't," he had told her, and she would throw everything into believing it.
Author's Note: Not gonna lie, this is disappointing for how long I've been working on it. I must've restarted it a dozen times. Anyway, I promise I still love you guys.