Chapter 23: Facing Inner Demons

Kira watched as the fellas practically fell up the stairs on their way to their room to turn in for the night. Planting season was in full swing now and by the end of each day, it was about all that they could do to finish their evening chores before falling into bed. It looked as if now was as good a time as any to do what she had planned. She hadn't stepped outside of Hazzard since she had left Atlanta. Now with her cast off her arm and not really needing the brace on her knee anymore, Kira figured that she had a personal matter that she needed to attend to.

Alone.

Kira walked into the kitchen where Jesse was cleaning out the coffee pot and getting it ready for the next morning. She wasn't sure how Jesse would react to what she had planned. She knew that both of the boys would try to either go with her or stop her altogether. Kira hoped Jesse would understand that this was something that she had to do without anyone else holding her hand. She had to know if she could; like it or not. She had to know if she was strong enough.

"Uncle Jesse, can I talk to you?"

"Sure, you can, Baby Girl. What's on your mind?"

Kira fought a grin as Jesse called her the nickname that he'd developed the habit of calling her since she'd come to live at the farm. She wasn't sure she'd ever get used to it, but she had no plans of trying to stop Jesse from using it.

"I'm planning to..." Kira paused, as she gathered her nerve. "I'm planning to drive into Atlanta tomorrow to take care of some unfinished business."

Jesse was taken aback by his youngest's announcement. She had rarely left the farm in the last couple of months. The few times that she had left for a doctor's appointment or some other errand, one of the others had always gone with her. But Atlanta, the last time she had been in Atlanta...

"I'm sure I could spare one of the fellas for a day to go with you. I'll call J.D. in the morning to see about-"

"I'm going alone Jesse." Kira stared at her uncle hoping that he wouldn't insist on one of the others going along with her. "That's why I didn't say nothing while they were down here. I know that they'd insist on coming with me. This is something that I have to do alone. I have to see if I can do it alone."

Jesse looked into Kira's eyes and saw a shadow of something that he'd not seen in his niece's eyes since she had been in Hazzard; a spark, an ember that spoke of the fire that once lit her eyes. He saw that Kira was trying to piece her life back together from the shredded pieces that it had been reduced to after she had been assaulted in her own apartment. If this was what she had to do to bring back that fire in her eyes, he really didn't think he could stand in the way of it. Plus, he noticed she wasn't asking for his permission, only his understanding.

"Alright. Them boys ain't goin' to like it. But I understand. How long will you be gone?"

"I'll be back the day after tomorrow. I'll only be gone for one night. I still have some things that I need to pick up from my old office and talk to a few people, too."

Jesse nodded his understanding. "Well, it looks like you've got a long drive ahead of you in the morning. You'd better head off and get some sleep. Night, Baby Girl."

He had almost leaned in for a hug like he would for Daisy but stopped himself. Kira had gone back to pulling away from anyone who had touched her again, so he merely smiled at her instead.

"Night, Uncle Jesse."

Kira had decided to get up early the next morning, really early. It would still be a while before the rest of the family would wake up to start another day of working out in the fields. She got her bag together the day before and put it in her truck so all she had to do was to get dressed and head out. She was certain that the moment she cranked her truck up, the rest of the farm would be awake. She only hoped that Jesse would be able to keep everyone else from following after her.

Luke had been awakened by hearing movement in the downstairs hall. From the footsteps, he could tell that Kira was awake. After looking at the clock he realized that she must have had trouble sleeping again. Otherwise, she'd never be up so early on her own. He heard the screen door open and figured that Kira planned to sit on the swing for a while. He'd done that on occasion himself. He turned over and tried to go back to sleep. When he heard Kira's truck fire up and slowly pull out of the yard, Luke bolted up off of his bed. Grabbing his jeans, he hastily got dressed as he looked out the window and saw his cousin drive off.

"What is she thinking? Going off in the middle of the night. It ain't safe," Luke muttered under his breath then hurled a pillow at Bo to wake him up.

"Wha..." Bo sat up and saw Luke getting dressed in record speed. "What's going on? What time is it?"

"Just after four thirty in the morning. And Kira just drove out of here."

"What!"

Luke wasn't sure what Bo was more upset about. Kira driving off or the time.

"Come on. Something must be wrong." Luke headed out the door and found Uncle Jesse waiting for him.

"Now you just get back in there. That girl don't want the two of you chasin' her down. She told me she was headin' out today and didn't want no interference from the two of you."

"You knew she was leavin' out? Where?"

Jesse nodded at Luke's question. "She's headin' into Atlanta to take care of somethings. Things that she has to do alone. She didn't want you two there." Jesse stopped and knew that the only way he'd keep his nephews from jumping into The General, was to give them orders to do something else. "But, as long as you're already up, you might as well as get an early start on them chores. We've got a lot of work to do today."

With that, Jesse headed on downstairs to start on breakfast.

"Well, Bo; what do you think she's doing?" Luke looked over at Bo as he spoke and saw he had his head in his hands. "Wake up!"

"I am awake." Bo tried to tune out Luke, but not to go back to sleep. 'Kira, what do you think you're doing?'

'Trying to get my life back. Now leave me be. Okay. I'll see you when I get back tomorrow. Just let me try to do this, PLEASE!'

'Alright. Alright. But you holler if you need me. Okay.'

'I will.'

With that, Kira was gone. Bo hoped that she knew what she was doing. He hoped that she was ready for whatever she found in Atlanta.

Kira's hand was practically shaking as she put her key in the door to her apartment. Even though the others had packed up what was left of her belongings months ago, the apartment was still hers. She still had another four months left on her lease and she needed to come back, at least this once. Before she took any other steps to re-piece her life together, she had to take this one first. She pushed the door forward and forced herself to step across the threshold.

The apartment looked different from the last time that she'd been in it. The carpet had been replaced and, since it was a furnished apartment, the furniture had been as well. Out of habit, Kira tossed her bag that she had brought with her onto the sofa. As she did so, the events of the last time she was here came rushing back to her.

Kira was getting her key into the door as she heard the phone ring inside her apartment. Pushing the door open, she tossed her bag onto the sofa as she picked up the phone just as her machine had kicked in.

"Hello?"

"Kira? Didn't think you were home. I was going to just leave a message to ask how your week's gone so far. Anything interesting happen?"

"Real cute Luke. You know damned well that Pauline came to see me last night."

"Hey, it was Bo's idea. Not mine."

"And you just went right on ahead and helped him with it too, didn't you?"

"Bo figured that you might as well go ahead and get your initiation into the Duke clan in to make it official. All of us have had to fend off Pauline at one time or another. It was just your turn."

"Luke isn't the oldest suppose to help PROTECT the younger ones. Not feed them to the wolves! You could have at least given me a little warning."

Kira grabbed the phone cradle so she could walk around. She wasn't really as mad as she sounded. Probably since she already had her revenge planned out, but Luke didn't know that. With a smile on her face, she figured she'd see if she could make Luke squirm.

Kira went over to the map that she had placed on the wall to stare at it as she had developed a tendency to do since putting it up. She had several points to add to it after she got off the phone, but for now, she might as well give her cousin what for. He had it coming, and he knew it.

"It would have served ya'll right if'n I had driven Pauline all the way to Hazzard and dropped her off on ya'll's doorstep."

Luke was busy laughing at Kira's ranting as she looked at the map and saw a message in red marker written across it.

TURN AROUND

"What the Hell?" Kira turned her head just in time to see her lamp being wielded and was headed straight for her head.

Pain exploded in her head as she stumbled and dropped the phone. Looking up, Kira saw a large mountain of a man as he reached for her and threw her up against the wall.

"Somebody help me!"

She tried to get to her feet, but her right knee wouldn't support her weight. Instead, she brought her arms up to try to protect her face as she saw the man begin to bring his hand down hard again. Kira rolled to her side to minimize the damage the man was inflicting.

There was only one way that she saw that she could defend herself. Kira tried to reach for her ankle holster. She was just about able to pull her gun when she felt a vice-like grip clamp down on her wrist. She kept struggling but the man was just too strong. He continued to pummel Kira as she was quickly tiring from her efforts to get away from the intruder and trying to protect herself.

After the intruder turned her over, she felt the tug of her clothing.

"Get OFF of me!"

KNOCK, KNOCK

Kira was brought out of her flashback as there was a knock at the door. Looking at the door, she didn't really know if she wanted to open it. After another knock, she went over to pull it open.

"Bo Duke, I told you I wanted to do this alone!" Kira shouted as she yanked on the door.

"Now I may be a blond and I may be a Duke, but I ain't Bo." Standing there, leaning against the door frame, was Jebb.

"They called you." It was a statement, not a question. He shrugged his shoulders; it wasn't like the statement really needed an answer.

"During breakfast." Kira went to look at her watch. She knew that it would have taken her nearly three times as long to drive here from Hazzard as it would have taken Jebb from Placid. Seeing what she was doing, Jebb added, "I figured that the best compromise was to come but give you some time to do what you had to do before I came up."

"So just how long have you been waiting on me?"

Again, he shrugged, "I waited nearly an hour, figured that it was probably enough time."

Kira again checked her watch; she couldn't have already been here at the apartment that long. But she had. "Come on in. You might as well... So, no one thought I could do this, huh?"

"I don't think it was so much as they didn't think you could. It was that they didn't think that you should."

"So much for doing this alone." Kira walked over to the couch and slumped onto it.

Jebb walked over and joined her. "Haven't you learned yet that Dukes rarely do anything alone? We do best when we travel in pairs."

"I don't ever recall you travellin' in a pair."

"Sure I did." Jebb gave her his best Duke grin. "I just didn't know I was at the time." Kira gave a weak laugh as he referred to their racing together. "And it could have been worse."

"How so?"

"Be glad that I answered the phone this morning instead of my mother."

"That is not funny!" Kira gave Jebb a cross look though he saw that she was fighting a smile as she said it.

"Of course, it is. Though, I think you've been through enough without throwing her into the mix. Spending too much time with my mother is enough to qualify you for emergency disaster relief from the good ole U.S. of A."

Despite herself, Kira couldn't help but laugh as Jebb tried to lift her spirits. Maybe having someone else with her wasn't so bad after all.

"Speaking of your mother, how in the world did you get her to let you leave right in the middle of plantin' season? I know how busy everyone is in Hazzard. That's kind of the reason I chose now to do this. How did you get up here to Atlanta?"

"Simple, I went to my pop instead. He understood. Plus, don't tell anyone, but we really have more help than people think out at the farm. Our farm is on land that used to be part of Mom's family land. We all kind of work the plots of land together. So, my uncles and cousins on her side are out there and work it the same as we do. In fact, our farm is already seeded. We were goin' to start at my Uncle Carl's today. Out in Hazzard, Jesse and them don't have no one else to help so it all falls on just the three of them. Though Daisy has been known to get out there too; especially during harvestin' when you're tryin' to beat the clock to get the crops in."

Kira nodded her understanding but let it go at that. She got really quiet and Jebb figured that quiet was what she needed. He sat back with his arm across the back of the couch and figured that he'd wait to see if Kira wanted to talk. If not, he wouldn't push her. He remembered how Kira had been when he had first met her; as timid as a turkey before Thanksgiving when it came to touch. He reckoned that he might need to treat her the same way he had when they first met. Letting her choose just how much comfort she'd accept.

So, there he sat; the offer of comfort resting on the back of the couch without trying to crowd her. Allowing her the chance to face her inner demons without unwanted interference but ready to help in any way he could when she wanted it.

After several minutes, Kira leaned back into Jebb's out-stretched arm. Secretly glad that there was someone with her as she continued to remember the horrible day that had changed her life.

After lunch Kira went to the courthouse to pick up her things. They had been boxed up and stored since real-estate was at a premium in the office. She officially accepted the job in Hatchapee and the transfer paperwork was started. She spoke to a few people in the office before leaving the courthouse for what would be the final time as a public defender with her unobtrusive shadow behind her.

Since he had come along, Kira put Jebb to work carrying the box that her stuff had been put into. It was only after seeing the map that she had been using while digging into the Townsend's past crimes that she recalled that the one that she had kept at her apartment had not been among the items that had been taken out to the farm.

Briefly, she wondered if it had just not seemed important enough to pack up when the others fetched her stuff. Well, at least she had a copy for when she was ready to start digging again.

As the afternoon wore on, Kira told Jebb that she should probably try to see Sam while she was in town.

"Jail-Bait?"

"You know that she hates it when you call her that."

"Hey, it is my honor-bound duty to warn every male of the species that has a pulse that she ain't legal. No fourteen-year-old should be allowed to look like they're at least nineteen."

"I think her father would agree with you. And you know, she had a pretty sizable crush on you until you gave her that nickname. She loved going to the races, too, right up until you got it to where everyone knew her as Jail-Bait."

"Good, with my probation, I don't need no fourteen-year-old chasin' after me. What with the fact I've only got a couple of months left, and all, I don't need nothin' to mess that up."

"Speaking of probation, how come the three of ya'll went on probation at about the same time but yours is about up but Bo and Luke's ain't?"

"Simple, my probation officer ain't always findin' ways to tack on time or trying to frame me to send me up the river for a crime I didn't commit."

Kira's face darkened at the mention of Hogg. She still couldn't see how the family could talk about him so casually as if his antics were no more serious than a toddler swiping a cookie before dinner.

"Just as soon as my probation is up, I'll be able to hit a lot more races since I won't have to get written permission for each one."

"Well, it looks like I've been reduced to being a spectator for at least the first half of the season this year. I can't ride just yet with my knee. I guess Bo told the doctor how I ride. He won't release me to race just yet. Though Luke just might have had something to do with that, too. Considering how he's been preoccupied with safety lately. He's been hoverin' over me like a mother hen."

"You'll just have to plan an escape later. Catch everyone at one of the tracks and act like an obnoxious spectator. Jeering the riders and all. Though, maybe a bit more planned than this one was."

"You don't think I took time to plan this one out?"

Jebb grinned, "I'm sure you did, considering that you had Jesse run interference for you. But maybe next time, you won't need it."

"So, they won't send you to babysit me then, you mean?"

"I have never known you to need a babysitter. And I'm just here as a friend. Not a sitter. I think Bo and Luke would need watchin' after more than you."

Kira laughed as she thought of what the guys would do if they knew that she and Jebb were talking about them needing babysitters. She had missed this. Being out and talking to someone who wasn't looking for her to breakdown at any minute. Everyone had been acting like they were walking on eggshells whenever they were around her. True, when she had first arrived at the farm, she did feel as fragile as the thin glass of a Christmas tree ornament. But for the last couple of weeks, it had begun to grate on her nerves.

When Kira called to set up a meet with Sam, Bryan told her that Sam was at her mother's (who never really cared for Kira) so she just left her contact information with the promise to call Sam again once she was home. Kira wasn't quite ready to go back to the apartment, so she treated Jebb to a movie to kill time. Despite her bravado of wanting to be in Atlanta alone, she found that the idea of going back to the apartment was a lot harder to cope with than she had thought. Even with Jebb with her. Without him there, she probably would have had to resort to going to a hotel. But she had come all this way to face her fears, not run from them.

As the afternoon turned into evening, the two Dukes returned to the apartment. Going in the second time, as it turned out, was a lot easier than the first. Probably since Jebb had taken it upon himself to keep her mind spinning from all of the various topics that he kept bouncing the conversation around to. He had even decided to ask how Kira had managed to send his mother packing so quickly when she had come to visit her. She told Jebb about his mother, believing that Brent and she were dating; which after hearing it, Jebb nearly couldn't stop laughing. He wasn't surprised though that his mother had then still decided that she'd need to come out again. To give Kira a cooking lesson.

Jebb then told of his sisters' latest cooking lesson given by his mother. The twins burnt the meal of chicken and rice to the point that when it had been added to the pigs' slop, they wouldn't even touch it. Kira laughed as she thought about Jebb and his father trying to force down a charcoal dinner so as not to hurt the girls' feelings. Now how many brothers would do that?

The night continued that way, giving Kira little time to dwell on the fact just a couple of months ago, the same room that the two of them were in had been the setting of the nightmares that still plagued her dreams at night.

The next day, Kira took one final look around her apartment. She knew she wouldn't be coming back. She'd done what she came to do. She knew that this was by far not the end of the healing process. No, this is just where it all had to begin. She had to stand in this spot and know that she would be okay.

Turning to the empty room, Kira grabbed her overnight bag to get ready to join Jebb at the elevator. He left her alone to do what she felt she had to do, but she knew he wouldn't be far. He really did know her a little too well. Kira smiled at the thought.

Reaching for the door, Kira set her shoulders. It was time to start going forward again. She was tired of spinning her wheels in the past. She walked, firmly shutting the door, and headed out to join her cousin without looking back.