Thank you so much for the reviews!

Could you all please review and tell me how you would imagine Jay and Erin's family to be? How many kids they have, boys or girls, even name ideas! I'm trying to get an idea of how I want to do the second round of A-Z and I want some input. Please let me know your thoughts!

H: Hold Me

*Erin has always struggled with asking for help, so when she reaches out to Jay, there is no place he would rather be.

Jay was dragged out of sleep by his arm being lifted into the air. He was confused, until he felt it settle around his girlfriend's waist. He wasn't surprised; Erin loved to cuddle, even though she would get hot throughout the night and move away, then get closer to him again once it was almost time to wake up. He opened his eyes and looked at the clock and saw that it was only a little after 3am, so this wasn't normal, but not too unusual either.

That is, until he heard a sniffle. He felt Erin's body scoot even closer to his and her face rested against his chest. He didn't move or react.

A little cry escaped her lips as her body trembled in his arms. He wondered how many times she had crawled into his arms while he was sleeping and cried. He figured it was time to let his presence be known.

Jay tightened his arms around her and Erin froze for a minute.

"What's going on, baby?" he asked quietly.

"Please, Jay." She cried out. He heard the pain in her voice and his heart plunged.

"Please what?"

"Please just hold me."

Even though he wanted to know the problem, he knew she would tell him eventually. Instead, he just held her and let her cry.

Erin didn't fall asleep for at least another hour. When she did, Jay continued to hold her. He stared up at the ceiling and wished that she would just open up to him.

He must have fallen asleep again because next thing he knew, Jay was waking up to Erin straddling his waist and leaning her head down on his chest. He brought one hand up to stroke her back and the other to play with her hair.

"Erin?" he waited for her to raise her head up and look at him. "What's going on with you? What happened?" she looked down at his chest to avoid making eye contact. "I love you more than anything in this world and it hurts me to see you like this. I hate knowing that you're hurting and I can't help you because you won't tell me what's bothering you. I'm in this for the long haul, babe. Nothing you say is going to change our relationship or the way I feel about you. Please just be honest with me. I need to know what's going on."

Erin sat up. She was still straddling Jay's waist as she looked into his eyes. He grabbed her hands in his and kissed the tops of them.

"I have a lot of regrets." She admitted. "I've done a lot of things that I shouldn't have done. Did you know that when I was seventeen, I threw a huge party at Voight's? He was out of town for work and Camille was meeting up with some friends who were there for the weekend. I let Justin stay at the party and he ended up getting drunk and threw up all over the new white couches Camille had bought. God, she was furious." Erin laughed quietly. "But do you know why I did it? Because I could. I wanted them to hate me. I wanted them to kick me out so I could go back to the life that I deserved." Jay started to speak, but Erin squeezed his hands. "Please let me try and get to what I'm trying to say. I told them that I was the one who threw up because Justin begged me not to tell on him. He knew he would get in a lot of trouble. When I looked at him and saw how worried he really was, I knew that I was too close.

"I told them that I threw the party and I threw up on that couch. I said a lot of horrible things to Camille. I wanted her to get rid of me. I knew this was the best opportunity- she never really liked me, and Hank was out of town. But do you know what she did?" Jay shook his head. "She walked over to me and she hugged me. She told me that Justin admitted it was him and she knew that I was just covering for him, and she wanted to thank me for caring about her son. She said that she could see that I was fighting with my demons and that if I needed to talk to her, then I could come to her. Do you know how I reacted? I went upstairs and cried in my room because I couldn't remember the last time someone had hugged me."

Jay studied her. Her eyes were teary, but she wasn't crying yet. He had never heard this story before, but he didn't really know why she would be upset about that.

"It took me a long time to be able to open up to her. I don't know why I do that, Jay. I don't know why I can't just tell people how I'm feeling. There have been so many things that I've wanted to say- to Camille back then, to Hank, to you…" she trailed off as she let go of his hands to wipe her eyes. "I have done things that no one knows about and I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell someone every little thing about my past."

Jay sat up so Erin was now on his lap. "Erin, there are things that I've done too that I don't know if I'll ever be able to talk about. You don't have to tell me everything, just talk to me about things when they come up." He kissed her forehead. "What happened tonight?"

"I had a nightmare." She said. "I know that sounds so childish and stupid, but they feel so real."

"It's not childish or stupid." Jay reassured her. "I have nightmares too. It's normal, Erin." He kissed her cheek. "Do you want to tell me what happened in it?"

"It was about Nadia. We were walking on that beach and I heard them say that they had found her. I ran over and I stood next to you and looked down into that shallow grave we found her in…but it wasn't her. It was me." Erin leaned her head over so it could rest on his shoulder. "He had killed me and I had to watch you and Hank completely lose it."

Jay couldn't imagine what would have happened if it was Erin and not Nadia in that grave. He tightened his grip on her waist.

"A couple months ago, I had wished it was me. I wanted Nadia to come back and I would take her place. But when I woke up from that nightmare, I felt how sweaty I was and my heart was racing and I looked over at you and for a second, I thought to myself, 'Thank God it was Nadia and not me'." She sat up to look at him. "I hate myself for thinking that."

"Hey, you don't have to hate yourself." Jay kissed her lips softly, but quickly. "Erin, that's not unusual. Everyone knows how much you love Nadia and how you would have done anything in this world to save her. But baby, we couldn't. We did everything we could to try and get to her. You can't feel guilty for being happy to be alive; Nadia wouldn't have wanted that." He smiled slightly. "Do you know how hard she worked on your surprise birthday party? She had been planning it for weeks and trying to get everyone to show up. She couldn't wait to see the look on your face when you walked through the door and saw us all standing there.

"But do you know what she said to me?" Jay continued. Erin shook her head. "She told me that it was time for me to man up. She told me that she could see that you weren't being completely honest and that you loved me, even if you didn't know how to say it yet. Nadia wanted me to pull you to the side at the party and confess my, I think she called it my 'deep and undying love for you'." Erin couldn't help but smile as she pictured that conversation. "She said to me, 'I love Erin and I want her to be happy, and even if she's the most stubborn person I've ever met, she loves you and she needs you'."

"Why didn't you ever tell me this before?" Erin wondered.

Jay shrugged. "We don't really talk about Nadia. I didn't know how you would feel if I brought it up."

"My chest hurts every time I hear her name. I was supposed to take care of her and I failed."

"You didn't fail. Nadia's death had nothing to do with you, Erin. It's not your fault and we both know that she wouldn't want you to blame yourself. You've got to just be happy and live for her."

Erin connected their lips briefly and then hugged him. "Thank you for listening to me."

"I'm always here to listen. You're not alone anymore, Erin. When you're hurting, I can usually tell and it hurts me too. I want you to talk to me from now on. Even if you don't want to tell me everything, I need to know what's going on."

"I promise." Erin kissed him again. "I love you so much, Jay. I don't know how I got so lucky to be with you."

"I think I'm the lucky one." He laid back down and pulled her close. "I love you too, Erin."

Next up… I: Invincible! Don't forget to review and let me know how you imagine Jay and Erin's family!