Chapter 29: Lord I Apologize

"Lord, I apologize for what I'm about to do."

Reverend Hitchens waited to hear what Jebb would say about his cousin. From the look on his face, it was obvious that he really didn't want to say anything bad about him. Family loyalty. He knew that this family valued that above nearly all else.

"Well sir. It's just that I really don't think Luke is the kind of guy that you'd want Kelly Anne dating is all." Jebb fidgeted a bit before continuing. "I mean, there ain't no tellin' if half of what's said about him is true or nothin'. Not that you'd pay attention to rumors anyway."

"What KIND of rumors?"

"Just one thing and another. I mean, there ain't no proof that them kids are his. Not really. And..."

"Kids?"

Jebb knew he had the minister's attention now. "…who's to say that the local law don't just have it in for him. Takin' him in to custody all the time and all. But the A.D.A. from Hatchapee County is on a first name basis with him."

"I thought that your cousin was from Hazzard?"

"Exactly! The A.D.A of the next county knows him that well. Now it's one thing for the prosecutor of the same county to know your name; shoot, everyone grew up together there anyway. But you can just bet that he didn't grow up with the one from Hatchapee."

"How come I've never heard none of this before?" Hitchens knew that sometimes families could be blind to the faults of their own members but from what he understood; Luke was Pauline's favorite of all of her nephews. Yet, here was Jebb, reluctantly confessing that his family has a dark secret. The Black Sheep of the family.

"I guess that since the others all live so far away, no one figured that it should be known. But if you don't believe me, call Hatchapee. Talk to the A.D.A." Jebb lift the phone and offered it to the other man. "I just know that I wouldn't have wanted Karen to have dated someone that has regular reservations at the local Iron Bar Hotel, is all."

Reverend Hitchens knew that Jebb was not prone to lying, though bending the truth to his own purpose was not exactly out of the question for the young Duke so he took the proffered phone from the young man. Lifting the receiver, he asked the operator to connect him to the A.D.A's office in Hatchapee.

"A.D.A. Kyle here. What can I do for you?"

"Oh, yes. I'm Reverend Hitchens from over in Placid County. I was wanting to inquire about a young man that is here for a visit. Have you heard of a Luke Duke?"

"Oh, Lord! What has he done now?"

"So, you know him?"

"Let's just say, I started working here in Hatchapee after Easter and I have seen that man more times than I can count. So, what's he done this time?"

"Well, nothing that I know of. It's just that I wanted to get some background on him is all. You see, he's supposed to take my daughter out this weekend and-"

"I hope you have the buckshot ready. I reckon he finally ran out of women in the Tri-County area that he hadn't dated yet for him to be out your way."

"Goes through a lot of women, does he?"

"To put it mildly."

"Listen, I want to be fair about this. Kyle. Is that your married name by any chance?"

"No sir. I ain't never been married. Why do you ask?"

"Well, forgive me for asking but you're not an angry ex-girlfriend, are you? A jilted lover perhaps?"

Jebb had a hard time not laughing as he sat watching the reverend chatting with his cousin. From where he sat though, he could tell that Kira hadn't bothered to hold back the laughter.

"Let me assure you, I have never dated Lukas Duke. Nor have I ever even contemplated the idea. I prefer men without a rap sheet longer than my arm. Them cots over in the Hazzard jail must have a permanent impression made to fit them Dukes over there."

Hitchens brows furled at what he heard.

"I'm sorry; I have someone at the door. Was there anything else you'd like to ask me?"

"No. That's quite enough. Thank you for your time." With that, he hung up the phone and put it back on the end table beside the couch. "Well with influences like that, I can see why your mother wanted to raise you and your sisters here in Placid. I think I'll be leaving now, Jebb." Jebb made a move to stand to see his guest out. "You stay where you are. I can let myself out."

With that, the minister left with Jebb waiting until the black sedan pulled out of the drive before he busted out laughing.

"A preacher! Jebb could have told me that the person we were going to be Jive'n was a preacher."

Kira rode her motorcycle towards Cooter's Garage. He was supposed to fix the radiator on Jesse's truck, and she told him that she'd swing by and get it after work. Pulling up, Kira couldn't believe it. She had ministers coming out of the woodwork. She saw that the preacher's car, the man that went by Holy Joe on the CB, was parked right outside the garage. Hopping off her bike, Kira went to find Cooter to see what she owed him. He was in the small, cramped office with Holy Joe and the conversation that she overheard wouldn't have crossed her mind of being one that she'd hear at the garage of all places.

"I don't care what them politicians say. There ain't no reason for there to be no kind of scandal like there's been up in Washington in the executive branch. Us workin' folks have to keep our noses clean. Why should they be any different?"

"It shouldn't but let's be honest. How many of them 'tics have ever done a single day's worth of actual work in their entire lives? Now if the common man was up there. Someone who knew what it was like to live on this side of the aisle was up there, things might be a bit different."

Cooter Davenport, TALKING POLITICS! Will wonders never cease?

"Actually, that's how everything was supposed to of been anyway." The men turned and saw Kira standing in the doorway. Grinning, "Caught ya. I knew you couldn't be as dim-witted as you like to let folks believe. Though this is probably the last conversation I would have imagined walkin' in on here at the garage."

"Bo and Luke pretty much have two main topics that they like to talk about when they ain't runnin' from old Rosco. No point in tryin' to change that." Cooter gave a sheepish grin.

"Cars and Girls. Ya, I know. Sounds like you were really sounding off before I came in."

"Yeh, well, what was that you were sayin'? How it ain't supposed to be like this?"

Kira shrugged, "Originally, politicians had to hang on to their Day Jobs to make a living since they couldn't live on what they made fulfilling their congressional duties. Our forefathers set it up so that the common man was supposed to be the ones making all the decisions up in Washington, not the elite. They'd had enough of that over in the old country. They went up, did what they went to do, then went home to live their lives. Still gettin' the dirt under their nails in between trips. Remembering WHY they were there. Not like now where a lot of them were born into political families."

"I'd like to see some workin' folks up there right about now."

"Cooter, I told you for years that you should run for office."

"Now, Preacher, don't go startin' that again. 'Sides, what would the folks here in Hazzard think if I up and did something like that?"

Kira stood back and watched the two, lost considering that this subject was a long running one between the two.

"Who cares what they think? I just think that-"

"Hey Kira, I know that we're boring you. Right? You're here for Jesse's truck ain't ya?" Joe stops, since it was obvious that Cooter didn't want an audience. Cooter and Kira walked out to where he had parked the truck. "Here let me help ya get the bike in the bed for ya."

"Hey Coot. What was that really about? I mean, politics? Joe pushing you to run?"

"He's been going on about that same old spill for a long time. Don't pay no mind to that old codger. He's been playin' that same old tune for years."

Kira had a lot of questions running through her mind. Sure, she knew that Cooter had to be smarter than he liked to pretend to be. All of those schemes of Luke's that seemed to only function if Cooter did his part down to perfection would never have worked if the mechanic was really dimwitted.

"Tell Uncle Jesse that it was just a valve on the truck that caused the truck to run hot."

"Thanks Cooter. What do we owe you?"

"You know, I ain't used this. I ain't had to wait to get paid from any of the others since you moved in. But Jesse is already one step ahead of ya."

"That figures. Well, thanks, Coot." With that, Kira got in the truck, thinking to herself that she might want to pull Holy Joe aside and have a little chat. Grinning at the thought of what Bo's and Luke's reactions would have been if they had walked in on Cooter discussing politics with the preacher.

Jebb was sitting in the den reading through a magazine when Luke walked in.

"Well, Cuz, I don't think you'll be takin' Kelly Anne to the social after all." Behind Luke, Jebb saw his father walk in as well.

"And just how did you pull that off?" John looked at his son as it was clear that Jebb hadn't expected his dad to have come in with Luke.

"Just told the truth is all, Pop. How Luke is a regular guest at ole Rosco's Iron Bar Hotel, how he's constantly gettin' chased by the law. How he's even on the first name basis of the prosecutor of the next county over."

"You mean the one that just happens to be your cousin?" John couldn't help but smile at his son as he told of what he had told Reverend Hitchens.

"You know, he didn't ask about that. He did ask Kira if she was an angry ex-girlfriend, though."

"He what?" Luke asked.

"You got your cousin to help with your little shuck 'n jive, too, huh?"

"She was glad to help...Once she stopped laughing long enough for me to tell her what I wanted her to do. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pull off this sort of thing without saying one bit of untruth?"

"How did you get Kira to help pull this off? I figured she would have fed me to the wolves the first chance she got."

"Nah, she figured you've been through enough. Considering that you'll still be here for another week and all. Dealing with Mom."

John shook his head at the two younger Dukes as Jebb went over his visit from the minister. Well, he did just tell the truth. That just shows you how the truth can be misleading in the wrong hands. Looking out the window, John saw his wife's car pull up and Pauline started to storm towards the house.

"Well, I think I'll go take care of some things outside. Luke here will keep you company." With that, John headed out the back as he heard his wife come in from the front.

"JEBB STEWART DUKE!"

It sounds like she ran into Reverend Hitchens in town.

"And he even said how you," Pauline pointed toward her son, "told him that there's rumors that Luke's got some kids over in the orphanage."

"It's true, there are rumors."

Turning to Luke, Pauline continued, "And you promised me that those rumors were only started by Ernie because his girl dumped him for you shortly after you got out of the Marines."

"That is how they got started, Aunt Pauline, but you know how rumors are. Easy to start, hard to kill."

John had come back in once he figured that the boys had suffered long enough for trying to undo the mess that his wife had started. John stood in the doorway and watched his son and nephew. Luke looked ready to bolt. Probably was, but staying instead out of some creed the military had taught him. You never leave a man behind. And since Jebb couldn't run for cover, Luke was staying put, too, getting bombarded with verbal missiles. Funny how his living room looked a lot like a war zone right now. Well, he better send the wounded off while Pauline calmed herself down.

John soon became the center of attention when he started to laugh at the sight before him. "Well, are all of you ready to call a truce yet? Pauline, promise you won't try no more matchmakin'?"

"What would be the point? What with Reverend Hitchens warning all the folks about my Roughneck, Scoundrel of a nephew. Won't be anyone in town who will give Luke a second glance now." Pauline glared at her son for his misdeeds.

"Luke, how about you and Jebb get the keys to the car and take the girls out for a while. Jebb knows all the usual hang outs and I'm sure after being locked up here since he got home, he could use an excuse to get out of the house."

Taking his sisters out may not really be all that appealing of an idea, but Jebb was seriously suffering from some cabin fever. Hopefully, they wouldn't run into the minister's family.

Kira was so glad that the week had finally ended. She'd been working hard at her own private project all week-long. It wouldn't be long before she'd have enough to take it before the Grand Jury. It would be moving faster if she didn't depend on couriers so much. If she could get to the legal library in Atlanta more often, if she didn't have everyone practically jumping out of their skin every time she decided to head that way for one reason or another. If...If...If. Well, slowly but surely things were coming together. Speeding along the winding roads on her motorcycle, Kira was only about ten minutes from town when she heard the CB in her helmet crackle to life.

"Shepherd to Crazy C. Shepherd to Crazy C. You out there?"

"You got Crazy C., Uncle Shepherd. What's on your mind?"

"Rosco just called and said he's got Bo down at the courthouse. Wouldn't give me a straight answer about why. Could you tow The General out to the house? I got to go get em out."

"Sure thing, Uncle Shepherd."

"Uncle Jesse, I'm almost in town myself. I'll run by and spring him. Cooter, how about just takin' the car to the garage instead? That okay with you, Uncle Jesse?"

"Just as well, I guess. I would have thought that boy would've stayed out of trouble though without Luke around."

Cooter came back on, "Now you know that Luke keeps Bo out of trouble more that he gets them into."

"Maybe so. I'm gone though. Get that boy home."

The whole ride into town, Kira wondered just what Bo could have done to get himself arrested. She hadn't heard of many of Boss's schemes lately. Maybe he only considered the Duke Boys a threat when they were in a pair. Pulling her bike up to the courthouse, Kira was surprised to see Dixie parked out front too.

Why didn't Daisy respond to the CB chatter? She could have said that she was on her way.

Removing her helmet, Kira looked up to see Daisy and L.D. barreling out of the courthouse together. Daisy was leaving without waiting for Bo. Somehow Kira got a vague idea just why Bo was locked up. He and L.D. must have gotten into it again at the Boar's Nest.

Kira shook her head at the sight of Dixie speeding away from the courthouse. Sprinting up the steps herself, Kira finds a depressed looking Enos at the same desk that she'd seen him working at the first time she'd seen him.

"Hey, Enos. I'm here to get Bo out. Is it the usual fifty?"

"Actually, Mr. Hogg set it at a thousand."

"What? For a bar room brawl?"

"Well, you see, Bo's charged with felony assault."

"Hogg would need to have a complainant for that charge." Kira paused; certainly, Daisy wouldn't have left here with L.D. if she knew he was pressing these charges against Bo. Breathing a hard sigh, "Can you take a check?"

"No, he can't." Kira turned around and saw Hogg coming out of his office. "Because I can't be sure it's any good."

"Bullshit! It's drawn on your bank. And I happen to know that you know down to the penny what I have in there!"

"That may be, but it's after hours on a Friday." Kira knew that there was only one way to win this fight quickly. Go for Hogg's weakness. His greed.

"Fine. Then I'll double the bail. Would that satisfy you?" Boss's eyes lit up a bit at the thought of two thousand dollars for Bo's bail. But he also knew that he could get even more. Kira wouldn't leave here without her brother.

"Doubled? I don't know. These here are felony charges."

"Alright, What do you want?" Kira mentally made a note that she just might need to transfer some more funds in from Atlanta.

Boss paused as if he was trying to decide just how much he could get for the Duke Boy downstairs. "I'll take four." Kira gave J.D. a hard look. "Or you can let him stay in that cell for the weekend. Your choice. Of course, that'll mean him missing the Drag 'N Fly tomorrow."

Hogg looked so smug. No matter which way, he'd win. He'd either keep the Duke Boy out of the contest or he got a hefty sum in exchange for his release. Kira blew out a breath before writing out the check. Yep, she'd need to transfer more money in after Hogg cashed the check. He proved that he did indeed know what she had put in his bank down to the dime.

"Well, Enos, go and get em would ya?"

Enos looked to Boss before heading on down the stairs to retrieve Bo. When Bo bound up the stairs with the energy of the kid that still likes to show itself from time to time, he paused just before making his quick getaway.

"Hey, Boss, you alright? You don't look all that well."

Kira eyed Hogg. He looked perfectly fine to her.

"I'll be just fine as soon as my courthouse is cleared out of any Dukes!"

Bo gave Boss a dubious look and made a mental note to talk to Uncle Jesse about his old friend turned enemy. Moments later Bo and Kira both walked out of the courthouse.

"You gonna tell me what happened?" Kira eyed her twin as he shrugged.

"I was out at the Boar's Nest and L.D. was being his usual self. This time he was making remarks on how when he decides to leave Hazzard, that we could kiss Daisy good-bye; so certain that she'd leave with him. One thing turned into another, next thing I know, we're both fightin' it out on the floor."

Kira shook her head. She hoped that what happened tonight wouldn't make L.D.'s words prophetic. "Did you know he's pressin' assault charges against ya?"

The look Bo gave her said he didn't. He'd been in countless fights out at the old roadhouse. Why should this time be any different?

"Looks like I might need a good lawyer. You wouldn't happen to know of one do ya?"

"Nope," Kira grinned as she glanced sideways at her brother. "Looks like you're stuck with me."

"I suppose I'll just have to suffer then. I still get the family discount though, right?"

"We'll see, Bo-Bear." Kira laughed as Bo made his usual face at the nickname that she'd given him as kids. Bo worried that one of these days she'd let it slip when they weren't alone.

Walking across the street, the twins waited for Cooter to bring The General by. It wasn't a long wait and Bo told Cooter just what had happened out at the bar.

"It looks like ya'll are goin' to have all sorts of fun once Daisy gets home. If she was mad at you for interferrin' before, she'll be furious now."

Kira held her tongue about seeing their cousin leave with L.D. No need to pour salt in a wound just yet. Once Cooter wished Bo good luck facing Daisy's skillet, the pair headed back to the farm to fill Jesse in on what had happened to get Bo locked up.

Again.

The next morning, Daisy had yet to come home causing all that were out at the farm to worry about her. The morning was spent trying to track her down instead of preparing for the Drag 'N Fly. Kira had spoken with various townsfolk and had tracked Daisy to Fox Hill Road. She had last been spotted on that road the night before heading for the county line; the line that bordered Chickamahoney County. Kira had a sinking feeling. Driving on into the Honeymooner's County of Georgia, Kira hoped that she wouldn't find what she thought she would.

Bo looked at the clock, knowing that if he wanted to make the cut off time to enter the Drag 'N Fly, he'd needed to head that way now. Instead, he pointed the car in the opposite direction. Finding his cousin was more important than any old contest. Daisy had never just taken off like this. This must have been how everyone else felt when they had searched for him back before Thanksgiving when he had first opened the envelope that had forever changed his life. Back when it was him who had taken off without a word to the others at the farm. When he had returned to the farm, though, he had brought a new family member home with him. Bo said a silent prayer that Daisy's own return wouldn't parallel his own.

It hadn't been hard to find where she needed to go. Everyone in the county seemed to be used to strangers searching for lost family members and directing them to the local chapels with their adjoining lodges. In fact, Kira figured that the only place that had more chapels than Chickamahoney County had to be in Nevada.

Driving up to yet another picturesque little church with a variety of cabins surrounding it, Kira stopped her bike just short of the small lot out front of the church. There, in front of one of the cabins, was a familiar white Jeep.

Well, she found her cousin. Her suspicions were confirmed.

Turning back toward Hazzard, she contacted Bo and let him know what she learned so he could tell Uncle Jesse. She also knew that someone would need to call Luke, too. He would never forgive them if they waited. So, spying a payphone, Kira figured she may as well get it over with.