Disclaimer: Revenge is not mine, the scenes that are transcribed are from the show, the alterations are mine.
Chapter Three
… I wanted to
But you didn't …
"I think that should be it. I'll go get him." Jack says as we finish digging the whole to bury Sammy in. he's not looking at me, not yet. We haven't said anything since the kiss, and between Sammy dying and finally kissing the boy I've been in love with my whole like, I'm about ready to explode.
"Are you okay?" I ask cautiously. It seems like a stupid question, but I don't know what else to say. And I am concerned; it's been an emotional night for him too.
"It's just nice having somebody with me." He says, "I always thought it would be Amanda. Now it feels like the only part of me left hanging on to her is going to be buried with him."
"Amanda's not gone Jack. She's … she's standing right next to you." I can't believe it just said that. I could try and take it back but… no, no I can't take it back. I don't want to. But he's looking at me, so confused, and I can't breathe. "You've always known we had a connection, and all the times Sammy came running over to me, he knew me Jack, he remembered me."
"But … but then who was …"
"A friend." He sounds so confused, and hurt. I can't blame him, "A good friend, who was willing to help me when I needed a new identity."
"Why?"
I take a deep breath, "To get close to the Graysons. They framed my father, Jack. They're responsible for what happened to my family. I couldn't let them get away with it, but I knew they'd never let Amanda Clarke get close, so I switched with somebody I knew I could trust." He doesn't say anything. "I'm so sorry, Jack. I wanted to tell you the truth so many times, I just, I was scared."
"Of what?"
I shake my head, "Of you getting hurt, of you hating me, of … of me not being strong enough … not being strong enough to walk away from you."
… Please! I'm not strong enough to lose somebody else. It's all been stripped away from me, Declan, Amanda, Sammy, and I can't … I can't lose you too. When you told me you were leaving for good, that I would never see you again, I thought … I thought I should be grateful. But I wasn't. I didn't want to have to say goodbye, not for good. I didn't want to think I would never see you again. And now … now I would gladly take that over this. Please, please come back to me. I cannot lose another person I love. It's too much. And I need you. I need you to be the strong, slightly psychotic girl you are, the girl who doesn't stop fighting. I need you to pull through this for me. I need you …