Sorry this took so long! I've been really busy with work and getting everything ready to start back at school and I didn't have much time to write. Just a warning now, this hasn't been edited so let me know if there are any major mistakes. Please review and I'll try to get the next chapter out quicker! Thank you for your patience!

P: Panic Switch

*Jay believes that every time things get too real for Erin, or something happens that she isn't expecting, she hits a panic switch. She needs to be in total control or her life is thrown completely out of order.

Somehow before he even opened his eyes, Jay knew that she wasn't there. She had been restless all night and he could tell that she was dying to jump out of bed the whole time he was trying to fall asleep. That was the trouble with dating a woman who was too hard on herself; if she had one negative thought on her mind, she couldn't do anything but fixate on it.

There were a lot of things he knew about Erin, but still many things that he didn't know, like dates that were important to her. She had lost many people in her life, and he knew that she got particularly upset around the anniversaries of deaths. It could be something like that, but he wouldn't be surprised if it were something smaller that she was worrying about.

Jay glanced over at the clock and saw that it was a little after 4am. He hauled himself out of bed and stood up. He stretched his arms over his head as he walked out of the bedroom and into the living room. No sign of Erin there, so he checked the kitchen next, but it was empty. He went back to the bathroom and saw her sitting on the closed toilet lid with her knees drawn up to her chest.

He sat down on the floor across from the toilet with his back against the wall. Erin kept her gaze on her toes.

"You okay?" he asked hesitantly. He always struggled to find the right words in these situations.

She looked up at him and he could see how watery her eyes were. She smiled in an attempt to look less upset. "Well, I might be pregnant."

Jay took a deep breath. "Why do you think that?"

"I'm late on my period."

"How late?"

"Almost a week."

"Stress can affect it, right? We've been working a lot of rough cases lately and you haven't been sleeping very well. Maybe it's just that."

Erin let out a shuddery breath. "I'm never late."

He nodded his head to show that he was acknowledging what she said. "Have you taken a test yet?"

"No and I don't want to."

"Why?"

She hugged her knees to her chest a little tighter. "Because then it's real."

"If you're pregnant, then it's already real."

"I'm not ready to stop working."

Jay reached out and put a hand on her leg. "I know that you're scared, but we need to know so that if you are, we can do what needs to be done."

She frowned. "What do you mean? I'm not getting an abortion."

He was dumbfounded for a few seconds. "An abortion? Who said anything about an abortion?"

Erin's gaze immediately went to her toes. A memory from her past was creeping in again. He wondered if this was one that she would share with him.

"What happened, Erin?"

She bit her lip. "When I was younger, I thought I was pregnant. The guy I was dating at the time told me that I had to get an abortion or he would give me one for free." She summarized quickly.

Usually, Jay gave her space during one of her moments. But he couldn't hold himself back. He reached out and pulled her over until she was sitting on his lap.

"I would never, ever ask you to get an abortion or threaten you like that. We're going to have kids eventually, so even though we didn't plan it, we're keeping the baby if you're pregnant. I would never make you do something you don't want to do, baby."

"I know." She leaned into him. "I'm scared."

"No matter what, we'll be okay."

"I don't want to stop working."

"You won't have to. You can help out with interrogations and paperwork and all that. I know it's not very fun, but it would only be temporary until the baby was born and you were good to get out there again."

"I guess you're right." She leaned her head against his chest.

"You wanna lay back down for a little bit? We still have about two hours before we have to get up." Erin nodded her head, so Jay lifted her up and carried her back into the bedroom. He set her down on the bed and waited for her to crawl under the blanket before he did the same. "No matter what happens, I'm here, Erin. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know." She said before snuggling close to him.

LINSTEAD LINSTEAD LINSTEAD

When the alarm went off, Jay woke up startled. Erin was sitting up next to him and by the scowl on her face, he could see that she wasn't happy to be getting up. He remembered their conversation from earlier and couldn't help but wonder.

What if Erin was pregnant? In the beginning of their relationship, he hadn't really thought about marriage or kids; he was just happy to be with her. But with every day that passed, he became more and more sure that he wanted a future with her. He wanted to give her a big wedding, even though she would pretend it wasn't what she wanted. He wanted to take her on vacations to places she had never been. He wanted to take care of their babies together. He wanted everything.

The problem was, Erin wouldn't let herself think that way. Jay knew that she wanted all of those things, too. They had had many discussions about their future together and Erin always mentioned children. But he knew that once they were actually faced with a pregnancy, she would freak out. It was in her nature and he was prepared to help her work through it. He was one hundred percent confident that by the time their son or daughter arrived, Erin would be ready.

Even though they had wanted to get married first and be completely settled in with their lives, Jay wouldn't mind if a baby interrupted their plans.

He quickly got dressed, noticing the way Erin barely responded to his 'good morning' or his attempts to make eye contact. He would bet his life that she hadn't slept at all since the first time they woke up this morning because she was so busy stressing herself out about everything.

He went about his normal routine and gave her space. When she finally emerged from the bedroom, he offered her a cup of coffee.

"Thanks." Erin mumbled. She reached out and took the coffee. When Jay tried to touch her, she moved back. "I'm sorry, I just need to think right now."

"Okay." It hurt that she had rejected him, but he wasn't surprised.

They both gathered what they needed for the day and exited the apartment. The elevator ride was painfully silent as both Jay and Erin were lost in their own thoughts.

It took about twenty minutes to get to the district. Jay let Erin walk ahead of him. He studied her demeanor and could tell how disconnected she was from everything. As they walked in to the bullpen, he was glad to see that everyone else was distracted from Erin's less than cheery behavior.

As Voight briefed them on the updates to their case, Jay watched his partner's facial expressions. She seemed interested in what Voight was saying, but he could tell it was an act by the glossy look of her eyes.

"Alright everyone, suit up."

The team went to the locker rooms and began to put on their bulletproof vests. Jay went over to Erin with his, just like every other time. He reached out to do hers first and realization hit him.

He could be fastening Erin's vest so that it would protect their child.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he wondered.

Erin nodded her head. "I'll be fine."

Jay chose not to argue with her. He didn't necessarily agree, but at this point, they didn't know if Erin was even pregnant. He knew that she would do everything to protect herself and he would have her back.

The car was silent as they drove quickly to their destination. As they pulled up and the team got together, everyone evaluated the situation.

"Atwater, Al, go around back." Voight commanded. The team started towards the building.

Before Jay even realized what was happening, he was on the ground. He heard a ringing in his ears and one look around showed that the building had blown up. He saw that the rest of the team looked just as disoriented.

That's when the bullets started. At the same time, Jay remembered what could be going on with Erin and he flipped out a little. He took a few deep breaths to keep himself calm and focused on the mission at hand.

Step 1: Take down the shooter.

Step 2: Find out if Erin's pregnant.

He hauled himself up to his feet. It only took a few seconds for him to take down a shooter from an upstairs window across the street.

"Everyone good?" Voight yelled. Luckily, no one had been hit in the ambush.

Jay looked at Erin and saw the deer caught in headlights look on her face. He knew that it had finally hit her that she needed to know for sure if she was pregnant or not.

LINSTEAD LINSTEAD LINSTEAD

"I hate this." Erin muttered as she paced around the bedroom, pregnancy tests in hand. Jay sat on the edge of the bed, both of his hands placed on his legs. He had been watching Erin pace for the past two minutes now, and it would be another minute before they had the results. They had stopped and gotten a couple tests as soon as their shift had ended.

"Sit down." Jay said gently. "I wanna talk for a second."

Erin sat down next to him, but kept a few inches between them. She bit into her bottom lip and waited for him to talk. "You don't want to be involved, do you?"

"What?" Jay shook his head, trying to figure out where that thought had even come from. "No. If you're pregnant, there is nothing in this world that you can do to keep me away from you or this baby. I want to talk about what we're gonna do about you working. After today, I don't think you should be out in the field."

Erin looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry for assuming."

"It's okay." He reassured her. He grabbed her hand in his own and squeezed it.

"I agree with you though. When I hit the ground, I remembered that there might be a baby inside of me. I wouldn't be able to handle it if I killed your baby, Jay."

"Our baby." He corrected. "Part of you and part of me. This little one would be perfect. Erin, we have nothing to be scared of. We have talked about having kids before. This is just the future coming to us a little sooner than we expected. It'll be okay." The timer on his phone started to beep. "I love you."

"I love you too." Erin looked down at the tests. "I'm not pregnant."

Jay felt a small rush of disappointment flow through him that he wasn't expecting. "How do you feel?"

"I thought that I would be happy, but I don't know. I'm a little disappointed."

"Me too." He admitted. "But let's try and stick with our original plan. Let's get everything else settled first and then we'll have kids. We'll start being more careful." He kissed her. "Everything is okay."

Erin nodded her head and repeated his words. "Everything is okay."

Even though he could see that she was kind of conflicted with her feelings on the pregnancy scare, he knew she believed those words. Everything would be just fine between them and they would have a baby when they were ready.

Next Up…Q: Quiet