Chapter Twenty-Six: Recollections of Choices Not Made

"Tomoya-kun…?"

I blinked and looked up from my place on the couch to Kotomi's worried face. "Yeah, Kotomi-chan? Wait, which Kotomi-chan are you?"

Her lower lip trembled, and I knew that I'd asked a bad question. "I…I am your fiancée. H-Have you forgotten?"

I sat up and shook my head to try to clear it. "No! No…I'm just a little confused right now. Fiancée…you're my fiancée. Fiancée…" As I repeated the word I noticed warmth in my heart. "Right. Damn, that seemed so real. All of them…"

"All of them?" Kotomi sat down next to me, worried expression still in place. "What did you see?"

I looked around the room; Kyou and Fujibayashi were in other chairs, holding each other and talking quietly. They still looked pretty shaken. "Are they okay?"

Kotomi looked over as well. "They are doing well." She looked back to me. "You were catatonic for a long time."

"How long?"

She briefly glanced at a clock on the wall. "About two hours." She took my hand and looked deeply into my eyes, "Please, Tomoya-kun; tell me what you saw."

Talking about what I saw could help me sort out my thoughts…an image of Pastor Ashton flashed through my mind, which gave me an idea. "I will, but I'd like us to try something."

Kotomi cocked her head. "What is it?"

"Ryou…Ryou was on the bus that crashed…" Kyou had become a teary mess and trembled as she held Fujibayashi's hand. "I saw…her…her body and…it was like part of me had died…"

"Damn," I muttered. "Sorry Kyou, that had to be rough."

She nodded before reaching out for another hug from Fujibayashi.

"Did you see anything that made you happy?" her sister asked. "We saw you smile several times."

"Hold on, Fujibayashi," I interrupted. "Let keep it to one at a time so we have time to recover, okay?"

"Sorry," she replied meekly. "I forgot."

"Who's next?" I asked as I looked between my fiancée and Fujibayashi. "I'll go next if you're not com-"

"I will go next," Kotomi interrupted. "I have a happy one."

Kyou lifted her head from her sister's shoulder. "Good, 'cause I could really use one."

"I believe that the term 'bittersweet' would be more appropriate, because the alternate was happier than reality."

"If you're up to it," I encouraged.

She took a deep breath before she spoke. "M-My parents must have cancelled their meeting to spend my birthday with me. I saw…the yard beautifully decorated, with balloons and streamers, and a big banner that had 'Happy Birthday, Kotomi-chan' written on it."

"That sounds wonderful," Fujibayashi breathed.

Kotomi nodded. "A-And Tomoya-kun was there, and he had brought many of his friends, and we played and played…it was wonderful."

"I was there?" I smiled at the thought of my alternate self. "Did I give you anything?"

My eyes widened at her blush. "I am not to that point yet, Tomoya-kun." She straightened in her chair. "The cake was shaped like a butterfly and it had white frosting over chocolate, and we had mint ice cream with it."

"That sounds like you," I quipped.

She dipped her head as her blush deepened. "I did not get many gifts, but I loved them all. Mommy and Daddy got me a huge teddy bear, bigger than I was! The other kids gave me a lot of candy, and…Tomoya-kun…Tomoya-kun…"

"Yes? Yes? Tomoya-kun what?" Kyou had apparently recovered nicely. "What did he give you?"

Kotomi took another deep breath as she started to tremble. "Well, he gave me…he gave me…" her blush not only deepened, but spread.

"Kotomi-chan…?" Fujibayashi looked a little worried.

"Jeez Kotomi, you're acting like he kissed you or something!" Kyou blurted out.

Kotomi's reaction was…interesting; she buried her face in her hands and squealed…several times, in fact.

The twins were kneeling on the floor in front of her before I knew it. "He did?" Kyou asked with a goofy smile. "He kissed you?!"

Kotomi couldn't speak but nodded, hands and all, and the twins slowly turned to look at me.

"Okazaki-kun…?" Fujibayashi's tone was one of disbelief.

"You dog, Tomoya!" Kyou's tone was not one of disbelief. "A little ladies' man at, what, eight years old?"

"Shut up," I replied, and then I reached out to Kotomi. "You okay?" I asked as I put an arm around her.

She grabbed onto the front of my shirt and buried her face in it. "Mine. Mine!"

I looked from my molten-faced fiancée to Fujibayashi. "Maybe you should tell yours, now?"

"…and then, I threatened to get myself pregnant and have his baby!" Fujibayashi finished before gnawing on her knuckle in embarrassment.

Her embarrassment was justified though, with her antics to try to keep Hiragi from killing himself…or letting himself die.

"…he finally agreed to some kind of experimental treatment, but the image faded before I could see how it turned out." Fujibayashi finished. "I really hope he lived."

"With you by his side," Kyou said as she put her hands on either side of Fujibayashi's face, "I'm sure he did."

The younger twin smiled sadly as she placed her hands over Kyou's.

"Well, I guess it's my turn," I grunted. "I think I have everything sorted out…I'm just going to tell all of mine at once, since they're shorter than any of yours. Is that okay?"

Three heads nodded agreement.

I licked my lips for what was probably going to be the most awkward time of my life. I was also more than a little concerned about how Kotomi would react.

"I'm actually really glad I did this, because it might explain some of the weird experiences that I've had lately."

"What do you mean?" Kyou asked.

I turned to Kotomi. "Do you remember when you were teaching me math and I suddenly fell out of my chair?"

"I do."

"Well…" Here goes nothing… "…I saw the girl from that…vision, or whatever it was."

"You know her?!" Kyou asked, incredulous.

"That 'me' does, apparently," I replied. "Because…" I flicked an apologetic glance at Kotomi. "…because I was on my back in a park with her lying on top of me and we were kissing…I-I mean, her and the other me."

We all jumped as Kotomi hit the floor, fainted dead away.

"My God, Tomoya…" Kyou breathed. "Fuuko, Yukine, Tomoyo…"

"…don't forget us, Onee-chan," Fujibayashi added.

Kyou roughly rubbed at her head. "I know, I know!" she exclaimed. "I saw!"

My eyebrows jumped. "Wait, you saw?"

Kyou nodded slightly. "I think I saw the other side of what you talked about; you played basketball in the Olympics but lost in the first round." She smiled fondly. "I was holding little Ryu who was watching his daddy play for Japan." A tear slid from her eye. "But…he doesn't really exist, does he?"

None of us knew what to say to that.

We heard a groan as Kotomi sat up from the bed she was laying in. "I was…asleep?"

"You were unconscious, yeah," I replied. "But I think it was more from shock than fatigue."

Kotomi paled; I assumed that she was remembering… "Tomoya-kun…"

"Oh no you don't!" I grabbed her by the shoulders. "No more passing out for you!"

"But Tomoya-kun…"

"That wasn't me," I reminded her. "That was a different me. You should understand this better than any of us."

"But-"

I took her in my arms and held her tightly. "Yours."

Without warning, she pushed me, knocking me out of my chair and onto the floor. Before I realized what had happened, she crawled on top of me, planting her lips on mine. "Mmph!"

After regaining control of my mouth I yelled, "What was that for?!"

"Mine," she said. "Not hers."

"Right," I agreed. "I told you that. Why did you need to knock…" I trailed off as it hit me: she was jealous because Fuuko kissed the other me that way.

"Because that is what she did," pouted Kotomi, confirming my theory.

"Kotomi-chan…" I sighed heavily as I tried to figure out how to console her. "Look, you've put me in a bad spot, here. I can't help the choices that my other selves may have made; I can only control the choices that I make. Do you understand?"

Kotomi kept her pout but nodded slowly.

"So the only choices that Tomoya makes are the ones that this Tomoya makes. I'm not going to start apologizing for the choices that those other Tomoyas made." My head was starting to hurt. "I don't know their circumstances…I barely even know mine!"

Kotomi sat on my stomach, still pouting but still listening.

"I remember Nagisa asking me if I believed in alternate realities. I told her that I hadn't thought about it since I had enough to deal with in this one," I said, chuckling at the memory.

"That does sound like you," Kyou quipped.

"T-Tomoya-kun?"

I reached up and placed my hand on her face; she reflexively pressed against my hand. "Kotomi-chan, I don't know what it's going to take to wipe that cute pout off your face. All I can say is: I love you, you mean the world to me, and I'm really glad I chose to visit the library that day."

A trembling lower lip cracked the pout, and she slowly lowered herself onto my chest to cry softly. "I am sorry, Tomoya-kun," she wailed. "I am so sorry…"

I wrapped my arms around her as the twins made their way over to offer Kotomi what comfort they could.